Everyone is different, and it is important to be sensitive to that fact. Children look up to their parents and will imitate their behaviour, so the way you act towards others who are different can have a profound impact on them. By making sure you are respectful to everyone, you can ensure your children will do the same. In this week of our parenting tips series, we have 10 ways to respect the differences between yourself and others.

1. Be courteous and friendly to others.  You can help your child respect others by the way you greet people, talk with them, and talk about them afterwards. Children learn from our example.

2. Make a family book about similarities and differences:  You and your child could work together to make a book about the people in your family.

3. Value difference. Arrange a small get-together with one or two families. Each could make a snack that may be different or new to the others, possibly an ethnic food or one that is special in other ways for their family.

4. Meet new friends.  You may want to tell your child about a time when you met someone who seemed different at first but as you got to know the person, you came to appreciate him or her.

5. Use empathy: Can your child remember coming into a group and feeling ignored or left out? Talking about your child’s feelings can help your child develop empathy and begin to see things from another person’s point of view.

6. We believe that we are all special people.

7. Treat others kindly even if they are different.

8. We show we are listening by what we say.

9. We are concerned about each other’s feelings.

10. Use books, the internet and society to introduce your child to difference and in particular all types of families and how they are all unique and special – just like ours.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Prepare Your Child for Preschool; 10 Ways to Improve Your Child’s Self Esteem; 10 Ways to Encourage Healthy Eating.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on 0818 66 22 12 or emailsupport@onefamily.ie.

Image Credit: Pixabay

New Futures :: New Confidence :: New Opportunities

Are you parenting on your own or sharing parenting? Do you want to get back into employment or education but struggle with where and how to start? Take time to discover who you are and what you want in life by joining One Family’s New Futures programme. Enhance yourself through confidence building, developing communication skills, and establishing life goals. Your future doesn’t have to be unknown. You can further your education or prepare yourself for employment with plenty of help along the way.

New Futures is a free 16 weeks of training with support programme, accredited at FETAC Level 4 /5, which takes place on two mornings per week in Dublin 2. One Family provides free childcare for participants, one to one mentoring throughout the programme, and additional supports and services where needed.

Are you interested?  If you would like more information, email Valerie or call 01 662 9212. One of our New Futures programme mentors will get in touch to arrange an initial meeting to help you decide if New Futures is the right choice for you.

Assertiveness is a wonderful quality to have, and as long as you know how to use it properly it can be help you be direct and clear in your communication with others. In order to be successful with communication, there are several guidelines we can all follow to ensure our point is being made in an assertive way.  In this week’s edition of our ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, we look at 10 keys to being assertive.

1. Assertiveness is an approach that helps you to be direct, honest and respectful in expressing your feelings, wants, needs and opinions.
2. You should always be respectful of others and yourself when being assertive.
3. Being assertive should not mean being aggressive.
4. Use clear and direct communication instead of unclear or indirect communication.
5. Be more confident about how you say things and how you get your message across.
6. Assertiveness will help your children learn how to be assertive and help a family to be positive and have shared values.
7. Remember you are making requests not demands. Expect yes and no answers.
8. Be ready to negotiate and compromise with others, including children.
9. Be very specific with children in particular about what you need them to do. ‘I need you to tidy your room’ is too vague. Indicate certain areas of the room: ‘I need you to tidy your dolls today’ and explain what that should look like.
10. Learn to say no and explain why it is a ‘No.’ The ‘No’ is about you safeguarding yourself as opposed to blocking another person: ‘No, you cannot walk alone to the shops, I need you to be safe and I need to hold your hand to ensure this.’

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is compiled by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Tips for Respecting Difference; 10 Tips on Preparing Your Child for Preschool; 10 Tips on Improving Your Child’s Self Esteem

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or emailsupport@onefamily.ie.

Picture credit: Pixabay

Press Release

Compulsory registration of birth certificates will require

General Register Office to be highly trained 

One Family – Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting – today welcomed the publication of the Civil Registration (Amendment) Bill 2014 whilst also warning about the problems that will arise in some difficult cases requiring sensitivity and transparency from the country’s registrars.

The new Civil Registration Bill has some far reaching impacts for children and parents in one-parent and diverse families. The main change is that it will now be compulsory for a father’s name to be provided by a new mother and for the father to register themselves on the birth certificate. Exceptions can be made to this where the father’s identity or whereabouts are unknown by the mother or where she can furnish proof that it would not be in the best interests of the safety of the child to contact the father and register his name.

Karen Kiernan, CEO of One Family said: “It is very much in the interest of the vast majority of children to know and have a legal and social relationship with both of their parents and it relatively rare that father’s names are not on birth certs – approximately 6% of all certificates. However there are exceptional circumstances where it may not be safe for a father to be identified and contacted and the burden of proof will need to be carefully considered so that it is not too onerous for those women who have been subjected to rape, incest or violence.”

Kiernan continued: “The General Register Office personnel will need to configure their offices so that confidential and highly sensitive information can be shared by parents. They will require expert training and support to deal with the issues that may arise and a transparent system of how the registrar accepts or rejects evidence on exceptional circumstances. It would be extremely helpful if this new Bill can be accompanied by an information campaign targeting parents not married to each other so they have clarity on what joint birth registration means for them and their children. One Family is glad to see that the Minister has progressed from the argument that this is needed to save social welfare expenses to seeing that this is an important issue for children.”

The Bill can be read here.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to those working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes the Family Day Festival, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today, with 10,000 people attending in 2013 (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

One Family is disappointed about the narrow definition of family contained in Resolution A/HRC/26/L.20/Rev.1 that was passed at the UN recently, especially in this year of the 20th anniversary of International Year of the Family, but welcomes that Ireland voted NO.  Previous UN resolutions on the family include language, agreed by all States, that recognised that “various forms of the family exist”.

At the 38th Meeting, 26th Regular Session of the Human Rights Council, Ambassador Patricia O’Brien – Ireland’s Permanent Representative to the United Nations and other International Organisations at Geneva – said: “Families can form an important framework for the promotion of human rights, particularly of family members themselves. … for policies to be successful they should also be inclusive. If family is a living dynamic entity and can take many forms, we believe that we must all recognise this diversity, and indeed we have done so consistently over many years in many UN resolutions which recognise that in different cultural, political and social systems various forms of the family exist. We regret that the Resolution before us today fails to take account of the various forms of families which are a vital part of all of our society. For these reasons we will vote no.”

A video clip of the Ambassador’s presentation can be viewed here (scroll to no. 18 on the right). The results of the vote were: ADOPTED (26 YES / 14 NO / 06 ABSTENTIONS).

Organisations including Eurochild, of which One Family is a member, issued this statement:

Discussion of “protection of the family” at Human Rights Council must reflect diversity and focus on human rights

Our organizations, representing a wide range of civil society from all regions of the world, urge the UN Human Rights Council to ensure the Panel discussion entitled “protection of the family” scheduled to take place in September reflects the diversity of family forms and includes a focus on the promotion and protection of human rights of individuals within the family unit.

The decision to hold the Panel came in a resolution passed on 26 June 2014, as a result of the deeply flawed “protection of the family” initiative led by Egypt and other States at the UN Human Rights Council … Click to continue reading the Statement in full.

Press Release

Shortfalls for Children of Separated Parents in

Justice Committee Report on Draft

Children & Family Relationships Bill 

www.onefamily.ie

(Dublin, Wednesday 9 July 2014) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families and parents sharing parenting – welcomes the publication of the report from the Justice Committee on the Children & Family Relationships Bill 2014 tomorrow. With over 40 years campaigning for legal recognition and support for the wide diversity of families that children in Ireland live in, One Family believes that this Bill is long overdue. The focus now should be to ensure that it is passed as quickly as possible to meet the urgent needs of children and parents though it is disappointing to note that some important issues such as ancillary reports to courts and child safety were not highlighted in the report.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO comments: “While this Bill is progress, it is disheartening that the Justice Report contains no mention of the need for ancillary services to the family law courts, especially Child Contact Centres which are necessary to ensure safety of children in contentious custody disputes. One Family published an evaluation of its pilot Child Contact Centre scheme in March this year and highlighted this need at the Committee hearing on 9 April. The Courts do not yet have access to professionally conducted family assessments in order to make evidence-based, child-centred decisions that will be safe, enforceable and fair. This has yet to be addressed for the safety of children.”

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, comments: “This report is a missed opportunity in a number of respects.  Government places ever greater emphasis on the importance of children having meaningful relationships with both their parents yet the report fails to explore ways to mainstream services to support this in the face of family separation, especially for low-income families. When parents separate, benefits and allowances attach wholly to one parent or the other, with often the non-resident parent – most usually the father – becoming ‘invisible’ other than as a source of income.  The report is not addressing this imbalance which has huge consequences for separated parents and their well-being, and that of their children.”

The Children & Family Relationships Bill will need to acknowledge the need for greater cooperation of services aimed at building broad local partnerships. It should result in quality, professional supports to cover the wide range of needs of families during separation and after, and when accessing the family law courts. It should ensure that legislators are equipped to make evidence-based decisions with children’s needs at the centre of these decisions.

Otherwise, while a step in the right direction, additional costs will be incurred to the State down the line while the Bill fails to fully deliver for children of separated families.

One Family’s Child Contact Centres Key Learnings can be read here: http://www.onefamily.ie/wp-content/uploads/One-Family_Child-Contact-Centre_Key-Learnings.pdf

The Executive Summary of the Evaluation can be read here: http://www.onefamily.ie/wp-content/uploads/Executive-Summary-December-2013.pdf

/Ends.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to those working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

There are often complex reasons behind why a child is bullying. A child who is bullying usually has some unmet needs at home or at school. They may be confused about why they’re behaving the way they are.  Some children who bully may be aware of the harm their behaviour is causing but feel powerless to change it, while others may not have any awareness or consideration of how their behaviour affects others. It is nesecessary for a parent/guardian to spend time talking with the child in a calm, open and honest way to get to understand the reasons behind their bullying behaviour. They must be supported also to understand the effects of their actions and that bullying is never acceptable. As part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, here are 10 ways to support a child who is bullying.

1. Punishment is not the answer to dealing with a child who is bullying. They need support and encouragement to understand what is happening for them and most often they need change to start within the family and for parents to be honest about how they are parenting.
2. Ask yourself why your child needs to be a bully. What needs are being met by bullying behaviour? How can these needs to be met in a more positive way?
3. Is your child a bully in the home or just in school or vice versa? Why might this be the case? Children need space to have their voice heard in the home and to have choices and some level of control over what is happening for them in their family. If a child has no voice in the home, they will often need to find a space where they do. This can lead to them needing to take control in situations where they can. We all have a need for control at some level.
4. Explore how you are parenting your child. Are they involved in decisions in the home, what is your style of parenting? How assertive are you in having your needs met?
5. Explore what type of communication takes place in the home and what type of boundaries are set. We all have needs and it is important to explore how people look for needs to be met within your family unit.
6. Talk with your child if you feel they are bullying. Be open to it, they are doing it for a reason and usually have some unmet needs. Explore with them what is missing for them. How are they feeling about themselves in school and in the home? Help them to understand how bullying is harmful and the effects it can have on others. Be accepting of what they say even though you may not always like it.
7. Role model for your child. Be respectful of them. Help them have their needs met in an appropriate way. Make requests of them instead of demands.
8. Use positive attention to support their positive behaviours. There will be many. Try not to focus solely on areas of challenging behaviour. If they have challenges, how are they being created for them?
9. Support your child to explore how they feel and how they can express anger, resentment, jealousy and other emotions without hurting others.
10. Get extra support for your child if necessary. Communicate with the school. Play and art therapy can really support a child to find their voice and express what is happening for them in life. Children have stresses and pressures also. Don’t presume that because they are a child, life is great.

You might also wish to read 10 Ways to Support a Child who is Being Bullied.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Develop Coping Skills in Your Family; 10 Ways to Respect Difference; and 10 Ways to Build Assertiveness.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or emailsupport@onefamily.ie.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Press Release

A July of Fear and Insecurity for over 9,000 Lone Parents

One Family will state at the pre-budget forum that Department of Social Protection has put lone parent families in the frontline of austerity and the back of the queue for the recover. 

www.onefamily.ie

(Dublin, Thursday 3 July 2014) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families – is participating  in Department of Social Protection’s pre-budget forum tomorrow, where One Family’s Stuart Duffin and a lone parent member of One Family’s Budget Panel will call for joined up thinking and security. The whole of Government must enable lone parents to create better futures rather than implementing further complicated systems that result in continued entrapment in poverty for families already on the edge, such as those being implemented today with changes to the One-Parent Family Payment.

“If you looked at me you’d never think I have only €16 to my name. I wear a suit to work in a very well-known company, my son is in a good crèche, I live in a 3 bedroom house (because it’s €100k in negative equity so I can’t afford to sell it). And here I am, without money for food.”

– Lone parent quoted in One Family’s Pre-Budget Submission 2015

58% of lone parents in Ireland are working, often in low paid part-time employment. Some working lone parents now face a barbaric income reduction of up to €200 per month.  The changes – first announced in Budget 2012 – are causing great confusion and stress to lone parents.  These men and women are not asking for hand-outs but to be supported as they strive towards bettering their children’s futures. The Department of Social Protection has put one-parent families in the frontline of austerity and the back of the queue for recovery due to the lack of development of joined up policies and supports. These cuts without supports such as out of school care, access to part-time education and less earned income have resulted in what feels like a sustained attack on one-parent families.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, comments: “Food banks symbolise the insecurity facing so many.  More needs to be done to understand and tackle the reasons why families have to access free food to live. We need a new approach that prioritises secure futures for one-parent families and that will reduce child poverty. Lone parents want and are keen to work yet the short-sighted nature of social welfare measurements firmly put one-parent families in deeper and deeper pits of poverty.”

The Pre-Budget Forum on Friday will be hosted by Minister Joan Burton. Its purpose is to provide organisations including One Family to input into the Budget process and to discuss their Pre-Budget Submissions with the Minister and senior officials of the Department.

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy and Programmes, comments: “On Friday we will highlight that this is a chance to move on from attacking the victims of poverty to addressing its causes – such as the lack of decently paid jobs, expensive housing and unaffordable childcare that have left many lone parents doing too much of the heavy lifting out of poverty. The ridiculous reduction in the Income Disregard combined with the mediaeval threshold nature of FIS and its annual review disincentive the ability to work. One-parent families are consistently those most at risk of or living in poverty in Ireland. Now is the time for some real vision and ambition in tackling the root causes of family poverty by investing in lone parents and making work pay. We will also voice our 10 Solutions – ten practical solutions that Government could implement at no or low-cost yet which would result in real progression for one-parent families – which form the basis of our Pre-Budget Submission.”

Simple actions will deliver investment in one-parent families:

1. Reform the Income Disregard into a Tax credit paid into the pay packet,
2. Deliver free part-time education,
3. Invest in the economic benefits of Out of School Childcare and Recreations (OSCAR).

One Family is hearing from lone parents to its askonefamily helpline and through our monthly surveys and Facebook page that these changes will make it almost impossible for many of those who are already working to sustain their employment. The reality is that these changes could mean an increase of over 55,000 more people onto the live register over the next 3 years as lone parents are transitioned to Job Seekers Allowance without adequate Government supports such as the long-promised affordable, local, quality childcare. Recipients of the OFP are excluded from schemes like Jobs Plus so there is, in effect, also a disincentive in place for employers to employ them.

One Family’s Pre-Budget Submission can be read here: http://www.onefamily.ie/wp-content/uploads/One-Family-2015-Pre-Budget-Submission_June-2014.pdf

More information about One Family’s 10 Solutions can be read here: http://www.onefamily.ie/policy-campaigns/one-family-campaigns/ten-solutions-for-smarter-futures/

Parents affected by the changes can contact askonefamily lo-call helpline for advice and support on 1890 66 22 12 or by emailing support@onefamily.ie

/Ends.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to those working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

It is agonising for a parent or guardian to suspect or learn that their child is being bullied while at school. The priority if this happens is to understand and support your child, while taking action to stop the bullying and doing everything possible to prevent it happening again in the future. As part of our weekly series of parenting tips, here are 10 ways to support a child who is being bullied.

1. As a parent, you need to recognise that your child is being bullied. Pay attention to changes in your child’s behaviour, personality and routine.
2. If you are concerned that your child is being bullied, and they are old enough to understand the language, ask them straight out. Otherwise ask them in an age appropriate way.
3. Fostering really good clear ongoing communication between parents and children is the key to knowing your child and supporting them with difficulties. If as a parent you cannot do this, try to ensure that there are other adults in your child’s life that they will talk with.
4. Encourage children to talk about their feelings, around the bullying and the bully.
5. It may be difficult, but ask yourself if there is any possible reason that your child may have been vulnerable to being bullied. Explore what you can do to support your child in these areas – children want to fit in and be part of the group. How can you help them with this?
6. Children with low self esteem and a poor sense of self worth may be more vulnerable to being bullied. Parents need to support children to increase their self esteem. It is important for parents themselves to consider their own level of self esteem as this impacts on children.
7. Reporting the issue to the school and having regular communication to monitor the situation with the school principal is crucial.
8. Children need to find their voice in the home and to practice being assertive in order to have the confidence to do this in school and in the play ground. Role play with your child, expect and encourage them to have a voice in the home.
9. Do not blame, judge or criticise a child for being bullied. Offer reassurance and support. Empower your child to come up with ways to deal with the bullying. Try not to take over. Empowerment will increase self esteem and help your child see that they have the power to make change happen.
10. Help your child to have positive friendships in school; many children need their parents to help them to make their friendships blossom. Practical ways to help are to organise play dates and be friendly with other parents to help your child find where they fit.

You might also like to read 10 Ways to Support a Child Who is Being a Bully.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is adapted by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, from our Family Communications training programme.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Develop Coping Skills in Your Family; 10 Ways to Support Your Child Who is Bullying; and 10 Ways to Respect Difference.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

One Family offers a range of training options to help parents and guardians to build on their parenting skills which you can find out about here. These include our upcoming Summer School of Parenting Skills Workshops in July.

Image Credit: Pixabay

“If you looked at me you’d never think I have only €16 to my name. I wear a suit to work in a very well known company, my son is in a good crèche, I live in a 3 bedroom house (because it’s €100k in negative equity so I can’t afford to sell it). And here I am, without money for food.” – Lone parent quoted in One Family’s Pre-Budget Submission 2015

The overarching message of our Pre-Budget Submission 2015 is that all people share in Ireland, and we must believe that government has a responsibility to help people develop their strengths and their potential. We must look to long-term programmes to empower our communities, rather than short-term patches.

Last year we called for collaborators to work with One Family on an on-going basis in crafting our pre-budget submission. Subsequently, the One Family Budget Panel was formed in January 2014. The panel consists of twelve parents. It comprises those parenting alone and sharing parenting; parents from each Provence – urban and rural are represented; the age distribution of representation goes from 24 to 55; 60% of the parents are working either part or full-time; 45% of the parents are in education and/or training full or part-time; the gender split is 85% female and 15% male; 65% of the panel’s parents are in receipt of some form of social assistance, either One Parent Family Payment, Family Income Support or Carer’s Allowance.

The panel makes up a representative sample of lone parents across Ireland and its members collaborated with One Family to produce a pre-budget submission which reflects the lived reality for one-parent families in Ireland.

One Family further ensured the inclusion of the voices of lone parents and parents sharing parenting in our Pre-Budget Submission by inserting direct quotes from parents who responded to our monthly surveys and other One Family initiatives. Some of these quotes are included below:

“No one realises how vulnerable a single parent on benefits actually is. The housing and childcare are the two biggest practical issues I faced, along with stigma and isolation and loneliness and all the rest of it…when you cannot find a roof over your head it really hurts, it affects your mental health also.” 

“For all the talk and publicity about anti-discrimination, there are many instances of legalised discrimination against lone parents in this country. Even if childcare was available, One Parent Family recipients cannot avail of employment where the employer is receiving Revenue Job Assist or JobsPlus schemes.”

“I believe my child deserves the same rights and to be treated with the same dignity as any child of a two parent family. What prevents this from happening is lack of adequate and affordable childcare.”

 “I feel as I have been discriminated against by Revenue and the Government on these tax credit changes based on the fact that I am a dad and not the recipient of the children’s allowance. This has affected my net income, which is no more than the average industrial wage, by reducing it by €47 per week. This is crippling my ability to survive and meet my financial commitments and most importantly my ability to do the things I have endeavoured to do with my children.”

“I have a mortgage but since the breakdown of my marriage I am in significant arrears. Other party not engaging. I am struggling to keep a roof over my daughters head. No mortgage supports available to me.”

“We are caught in positions that revolve around our child care hours and location. It is extraordinarily difficult to further our careers as generally promotion equals more hours, and/or additional training which is impossible when you have to race back before the crèche closes.”

“It’s the feeling of being trapped by your circumstance, of knowing that you’ll never get out of it, that causes the low feelings and of feeling like a failure as a mother towards your child. It’s the fact that it’s not a temporary situation that causes these feelings for me. And it seems to be so hard for other people to understand, and makes it all the more difficult to handle, causing further isolation, maybe secrecy of the situation, bringing only further feelings of inadequacy.”

“What we need now, both lone mothers and fathers, is for policy makers to recognise the difficulties we face in parenting alone. We’re not looking for favours, just equal opportunities to provide for our kids to the best of our abilities.”

If you wish to read/download One Family’s Pre-Budget Submission 2015, it is available here: One Family 2015 Pre-Budget Submission_June 2014.

Press Release

One-Parent Family Success Stories at One Family

Government Must Step Up to the Mark
and Enable Lone Parents to have a Fighting Chance in our Economy

www.onefamily.ie

(Dublin, Wednesday 18 June 2014) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families – celebrates the achievements of almost 100 lone parents who have completed its courses throughout the past year at a Graduation Ceremony in the Conference Centre, Dublin Castle on Thursday 19 June at 10am in the week that it also makes its Pre-Budget Submission calling on Government to invest in one-parent families.

Recent response to media coverage of mother and baby homes has demonstrated again that people, women in particular, who parent alone still experience stereotyping, stigma and shame. One Family issued a statement in response to this harrowing topic last week which can be read here. This coverage has proved distressing for many One Family clients, lone parents and their children. Now, it is timely to celebrate those inspirational lone parents and people sharing parenting who have successfully overcome many challenges in pursuit of their awards.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, comments: “The parents celebrating their graduation this week want to learn more and they want to work. They want to build on the successes being celebrated. 58% of lone parents in Ireland today are working. One Family wants to see a clear political commitment in the 2015 budget to enable those most in need to return to work and education and create better futures for their children by provision of key supports such as affordable, quality childcare. An investment in childcare is an investment in one-parent families.”

Many of today’s Graduands have completed One Family’s flagship New Futures training which is FETAC Level 4 accredited and offers personal and professional development with wrap-around supports including one-to-one mentoring. Others have completed the One Family parenting programmes Family Communications and Positive Parenting, designed to strengthen family relationships, enable parents to understand difficult behaviour in children, and learn techniques to promote conflict resolution. Other parents who are parenting alone or sharing parenting are to be celebrated for taking a pro-active role in crafting One Family’s Pre-Budget Submission by participating in the organisation’s Budget Panel to help ensure that the voices of one-parent and shared parenting families are heard by Government.

One Family’s Director of Policy and Programmes, Stuart Duffin, comments: “One Family’s Budget Panel members are asking a simple question: ‘Will the 2015 budget improve the position of the poorest families and will children’s well-being be prioritised as the economy recovers?’ Paid work can make a difference for families, but this needs to accommodate the needs of children, income adequacy and security. The government’s focus has been on economic growth and jobs as a silver bullet solution to poverty. However, many lone parents and those sharing parenting cannot undertake or maintain enough paid work to sustain a family because of changes in tax and the lack of jobs. It is vital that government adopts a comprehensive strategy to reduce child and family poverty, a much broader strategy is needed to address the underlying causes.”

People parenting alone – including those parents receiving their Certificates this week – are all job-seekers and need to have adequate income to raise their children. All parents need sufficient levels of income security but today Ireland’s poorest families do not have enough to live on. It is crucial that the social welfare safety net that supports families in tough times is repaired and strengthened to enable the one-parent families who need to avail of it to create better outcomes. Children in all families deserve the chance to thrive.

/Ends.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to those working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes the Family Day Festival, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

All families experience problems at some time. No matter how strong a family unit is or how positive our relationships, siblings will still argue, parents may be stressed over finances, bedtime routines may be difficult to establish.  The demands of daily life can be challenging and problems can easily arise. If a recurring problem is not addressed, over time it can become a major issue and affect the quality of life and relationships at home for every member of the family. It is essential to recognise and address problems to help prevent this happening. Our ’10 Ways to Better Problem Solving’ can be useful in solving challenging family problems.

1. Name the issue, identify the problem. Work on the easier issues first of all. Working out the smaller stuff gives you the confidence to address the bigger issues.
2. Try to figure out how strongly everyone feels on the issue at hand by asking, on a scale of 1 to 10, how strongly do you feel about your point? 1 is not very strong and 10 is very strong.
3. Do not attempt to start talking about a solution until you can truly re-state each person’s point to their satisfaction and understand it, and have established what, if any, common ground there is.
4. Communicate about the problem with each other using the four-step method for clear and direct communication:
   • Observations | Be factual. Don’t judge or evaluate. State the problem clearly.
   • Feelings | Talk about what this observation makes you feel. Ask other family members what their feelings are about it.
   • Needs | Talk about the needs that cause these feelings.
   • Requests | Be clear, ask for – not demand – what you want. Other family members should have the option to say no and come up with alternatives.
5. Come up with some solutions – ask everyone in the family for them.
6. Select a solution.
7. Act on the solution. Divide out responsibility amongst the members of the family.
8. Appoint someone to monitor the action. For less serious issues, children can be responsible monitors too.
9. Evaluate the whole thing, and within a reasonable time, ask if the solution is working? If not, pick another one to try. Talk about what you all learnt from the situation.
10. Remember that is not your job as the parent to ‘fix’ life. Empower your children to make decisions and be responsible.

Having read these tips, you may also find our 10 Ways to Run a Family Meeting helpful.

If you would like support, information or advice in relation to the topic above, contact our lo-call askonefamily helpline on 1890 66 22 12 / support@onefamily.ie. One Family offers a range of training options to help parents and guardians to build on their parenting skills which you can find out about here. These include our upcoming Summer School of Parenting Skills Workshops in July.

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is adapted by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, from our Family Communications training programme.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Develop Family Rituals and 10 Ways to Develop Coping Skills in Your Family.

One Family Statement on Mother and Baby Homes

One Family, in following recent media coverage in relation to the Tuam Mother and Baby Home, shares the widespread concerns voiced in relation to the treatment of mothers and children and to the remains of deceased infants which has led to the start of a wider conversation about how pregnant women came to be in such homes.

This organisation was founded as Cherish by a small group of unmarried mothers in 1972 who, against prevailing practice, decided that they wanted to keep their babies and raise them themselves. Our founders tell numerous stories of their difficult personal experiences in doing this, as well as those of the many women who turned up at their homes, at group meetings, or here to our offices at 2 Lower Pembroke Street, Dublin desperate for help because they were pregnant and not married which in countless cases had cost them their family relationships, jobs and homes.

Through the 1970s and 1980s the organisation worked hard to change the accepted ‘norms’ by lobbying for the introduction of the first social welfare payment to acknowledge the existence of women bringing up children on their own and to abolish the status of illegitimacy. More information on the history of One Family is here. Our founding member Maura O’Dea Richards has also previously published a book, Single Issue, about this era.

Maura O’Dea Richards said today: “One Family welcomes the Government’s Commission of Investigation into Mother and Baby Homes and we will be making a submission to Minister for Children and Youth Affairs, Charlie Flanagan TD, on appropriate terms of reference. We strongly believe that it will be of great benefit to individual members of families who spent time in mother and baby homes, as well as to wider society, if we are able to respectfully establish relevant facts about who lived and died in homes, who was adopted and where to, and we hear the experiences and voices of those who were born and lived in mother and baby homes.”

One Family’s Chairperson, John O’Connell, who was himself born in Bessborough Home and returned with his mother to her family at the age of six months, comments: “Unfortunately we are aware that secrecy and shame can still surround many women whose children were adopted from mother and baby homes. As a society we need to give a clear and strong message that this secrecy and shame was and is wrong. There are still opportunities for adopted family members to be reunited, for children and parents who lived in mother and baby homes to be heard and acknowledged, and for Irish society to finally learn these lessons and treat all children and families equally.”

Lone parents and their family members affected by the recent harrowing reports may wish to call One Family’s lo-call askonefamily helpline for support on 1890 66 22 12.

Our annual Family Day Festival took place on Sunday 18 May in Dublin’s Iveagh Gardens. Despite the heavy rain, we had a brilliant day with wonderful singers, musicians, poets, performers, sports, storytelling and puppet shows to entertain us, excellent workshops, and information from a variety of family focused and cultural organisations.

View this short Family Day Festival video for a real flavour of the day. It’s guaranteed to put a smile on your face and get your toes tapping.

Thank you to videographer Ger O’Donnell; and thank you to all of the wonderful volunteers, performers, participating organisations, staff and production crew for making the Family Day Festival 2014 such an enjoyable and positive celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today. Thank you also to the Community Foundation for Ireland and Dublin City Council for their support; to Today FM; and to the OPW for kindly providing the Iveagh Gardens. We are already looking forward to Family Day Festival 2015.

There are many ways to get involved in the Festival including sponsorship opportunities. If you or your organisation would like to find out more, please email us or call 01 662 9212.

Press Release

More Children Live in Poverty Because of Lack of Quality Childcare to Enable Lone Parents to Work 

European Commission Highlighting of Childcare Provision Failure

for One-Parent Families Welcomed by One Family

(Dublin, Tuesday  3 June 2014) One Family – Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families in Ireland today – welcomes the highlighting of the need for quality affordable childcare for lone parents which would increase existing low levels of female participation in the workplace, ultimately reducing poverty levels and social exclusion for children, by the European Commission this week.

There has been a significant shift of emphasis in social policy to early years interventions targeted to help children from poorer backgrounds. In many respects this focus is welcome: it acknowledges, for example, that disadvantage starts from birth and needs to be corrected for from the outset of children’s lives. Government fully recognises the value of an accessible childcare system and now needs to deliver it.

Yet despite the widespread recognition of the critical importance of the early years, our Government often seems to fail to acknowledge the reality of child poverty in Ireland today and to design interventions that truly tackle the hardships that poor children encounter. Those living in lone parent households continue to experience the highest rates of deprivation with almost 69% of individuals from these households experiencing one or more forms of deprivation (EU-SILC 2010).

Childcare is particularly expensive in Ireland and, coupled with a ‘low pay premium’ for part-time work, this plays a significant role in whether or not the financial benefits to paid work outweigh the costs for lone parents – the often referenced ‘welfare trap’. We have heard from parents who desperately want to return to work to improve the standard of living for their children and future outcomes, but who have been forced to turn down opportunities owing to a lack of affordable, accessible childcare.

Among One Family’s many services for lone parents and those sharing parenting, we support parents to be able to access work, including good quality part-time/flexible opportunities. Without good quality childcare many lone parents remain simply unable to take up employment opportunities.

Success in achieving such a childcare system would provide a significant boost to the economy. Parents who currently stay at home to care for their children would be able to work if they wished to do so. This would increase family incomes, improve living standards and reduce dependence on benefits, as well as lifting children out of poverty and improving their learning and development outcomes.

One Family reiterates its call to Government to enact its 10 Solutions campaign, with an immediate focus on childcare.  All children deserve the best start in life.

For further information on One Family’s 10 Solutions, click here.

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to those working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes the Family Day Festival, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

For many parents sharing parenting after separation, one parent is the ‘primary carer’ and the other ‘non-resident’ or ‘contact’ parent, spends their time with their child at weekends and holidays. It can be challenging for parents in this situation, especially if trust has been broken, to put their feelings about their ex to one side. Remaining focused on the needs of your child is important. In time, a shared parenting relationship can become established where you can both share the positives of being parents.

As part of our ’10 Ways to …’ series of weekly parenting tips, here are our tips for non-resident/contact parents to positively maintain contact to help both parents to focus on keeping their child at the centre of parenting.

1. Once agreed: When you have managed to agree on contact, follow through.
2. Be on time: Timekeeping is crucial. The other parent can and will feel very disrespected if you are late and children can become very anxious and upset.
3. Turn up: This is your time with your child. It may not be exactly what you want but it’s what you have now. Turn up and be with your child. Nothing else should take its place. Rearrange other things – never your child!
4. Maintenance: Try to stick to all court orders and don’t give ammunition to the other parent. Some parents might use maintenance as a bargaining tool.
5. Plan your time: Make contact fun. It doesn’t have to cost much money. Make it child friendly and interact at a very high level with your child. You can rest later.
6. Involve your child: Plan with your child each week. Talk with them and ask them what they would like to do. Follow through.
7. Respect: Always speak well of the other parent even if you don’t feel it. They are your child’s parent and you can impact greatly on their ability to parent and in turn, your child’s well-being.
8. Be back on time: Again, respect the agreement. The resident parent can and will become very distressed even if the child is 5 minutes late.
9. Parent: When with your child be an active parent. Play with them, talk with them and have fun and laugh together.
10. Don’t quiz your child: It’s not your child’s job to keep you informed about the other parent. Talk about school, activities, their likes and dislikes. Talk with them as needed about why you can’t live with them all the time any more. They will seek explanations and want to understand their family form as they grow. No Blame! Children usually love both parents regardless of wrong doings, mind them and enjoy them. Don’t make life hard for them.

If you found this post useful, you might also like to read 10 Ways to Successful Shared Parenting. One Family offers a range of services to parents sharing parenting or parenting alone after separation. You can find out about them here. If you need support, information or advice, contact our lo-call askonefamily helpline on 1890 66 22 12 / support@onefamily.ie.

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is adapted by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, from our Family Communications training programme.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Understand How Your Child May Feel and 10 Ways to Problem Solving.

One Family offers a range of training opportunities for parents and for professionals on an on-going basis. To find out more, click here or call 01 662 9212.

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ series offers tips for parents on toilet training. There’s no doubt that this is a big milestone for both parent and child and it can seem daunting. There is no exact age to begin as every child is different but when you can tell your child is ready – for example, if they are sometimes dry after naps, have some awareness of bodily functions and can communicate them, and are showing an interest or curiosity – you may find our 10 tips helpful:

1. Are you ready?: As a parent, you must be ready too. You must be ready to acknowledge your child is ready for toilet training, that he or she is not a baby anymore. A new stage has been reached.
2. Set the date: Once you are sure both you and your child are ready to start, then name the day and get organised.
3. Be organised: Plan to start when you have at least 3 days at home with your child. Have the potty in place. Talk with your child about how big they are getting and how they soon won’t need nappies anymore.
4. Involve your child: Bring your child to the shops for a toilet step and pants. Tell them again how big they are getting and how proud you are of them.
5. Be rigid: For the first 3-5 days, the parent must take the lead. Try to stay home and every 20 minutes on the dot take your child to the toilet. Don’t ask them if they need to go to the toilet, tell them it is time to check. They may complain but play a game with them or sing songs on the toilet so they enjoy the experience.
6. Child led: After 3-5 days of the parent taking the lead, allow the child to start taking the lead. Remind them and encourage them. Have the potty in the room near where they are playing. Keep their clothes simple to help them make it on time. You will move out to the toilet in the coming weeks.
7. Be positive: Praise your child for the effort and the success. Do not focus on the accidents. If there are many, simply go back to taking the child every 20 minutes rigidly.
8. Night time: Encourage your child to wear a pull up at night. But soon you may find they will wake at night and want to use the toilet. Once they object to the nappy, leave it off and encourage them to go to the toilet. Always use toilet before bedtime. Have a ‘no drinks for at least 1 hour prior to bed’ rule. Don’t allow drinks during the night either unless they are unwell.
9. Travel Potty: Bring the potty wherever you go. On a walk, in the car, on the bus to the shops. Make it easy for your child to succeed. You won’t make it to a public toilet on time and it may not be suitable for them. Bring the potty in a bag and use it. They will gain better control as time goes on.
10. Stop confusing your child: Don’t put nappies on them when going out. Have faith in your child’s ability to tell you they need to use the potty. You are confusing them otherwise. Are they a baby or are they all grown up? Trust them and let them be responsible.

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is adapted by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, from our Family Communications training programme.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Positively Maintaining Contact, 10 Ways to Understand How Your Child May Feel and 10 Ways to Problem Solving.

One Family offers a range of training opportunities for parents and for professionals on an on-going basis. To find out more, click here or call 01 662 9212.

One Family’s fourth Family Day Festival took place yesterday and was enjoyed by thousands of happy people, children and adults alike, in Dublin’s beautiful Iveagh Gardens – despite the rain.

The annual free Festival is the highlight of One Family’s ongoing campaign for a nationally celebrated Family Day, similar to Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, but which would include all children irrespective of their family make-up. We have been celebrating Family Day for a decade. The Festival, which takes place every year on the Sunday following UN International Day of Families on 15 May, presented a fun, jam-packed programme of workshops from acting to yoga, and butter making to boxing with Olympian Michael Carruth; main stage entertainment with MC Aidan Bishop including magician Brian Daly, Musicantia Roma Children’s Choir, the Nepalese Cultural Group (NCG) and singer Sinéad White; pop-up play opportunities and traditional sports and games; and many of Ireland’s leading cultural organisations for children with fun activities such as puppet shows, arts and crafts, storytelling and more.

The Family Day Festival is a fantastic day out but as the Irish Times noted this week, it also ‘carries a subtle message‘. This message is that all families should be cherished. We know that it is the quality of relationships in the home, not family make-up, that is most important for children’s well-being and Family Day celebrates all the different types of families that make up today’s Irish society. One Family, GLEN, Marriage Equality, Treoir, BeLong To, New Communities Partnership, ISPCC and Children’s Rights Alliance were among the organisations working with and for families who were on hand in the Information Village to have fun and engage with families about their services.

A favourite of this year’s event was the new One Family Talking Tent which presented parenting talks by One Family, Marriage Equality, GLEN and BeLonG To. The Talking Tent line-up also featured powerful spoken word performances from Colm Keegan and John Cummins, and comic verse for children with Paul Tubb. We were delighted to host the Lord Mayor of Dublin, Oisín Quinn. Minister John Hayes TD and Senator Averil Power also attended and joined in the fun.

Ireland’s celebration of the 20th anniversary of UN International Year of the Family 2014 was a great success.

View the Family Day Festival 2014 photo album for lots of fun photos!

If you were there, please take a short anonymous survey by clicking here to help us make next year’s Family Day Festival even better.

Thank you to all the performers and entertainers who created magical memories for so many families throughout the day. Thank you to the participating organisations, to the production staff, and to all of the incredible Family Day Festival volunteers.

The Family Day Festival is kindly supported by the Community Foundation for Ireland, Dublin City Council (DCC) and Today FM. The Iveagh Gardens is provided courtesy of the Office of Public Works (OPW). One Family is grateful to all.

If your organisation would like to get involved in 2015, we’d love to hear from you. Email familyday@onefamily.ie or call us on 01 662 9212 to find out more.

Press Release

Ireland’s Celebration of 20th Anniversary of UN International Year of the Family

Family Day Festival | Sunday, 18 May 2014 | Iveagh Gardens, Dublin 2 | Free

www.familyday.ie

(Dublin, 16 May 2014) One Family – Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families in Ireland – leads the Irish celebrations of the 20th anniversary of UN International Year of the Family which is being acknowledged worldwide with a series of high profile events.

One Family’s annual Family Day Festival is inspired by UN International Day of Families which is marked every year on 15 May. The Family Day Festival takes place on Sunday 18 May in Dublin’s Iveagh Gardens with a packed programme of free entertainment, workshops, talks, information and more for all ages. On hand too are a variety of key organisations working for and with families and children in Ireland today, sharing information about their services and with fun activities to enjoy. These include One Family, GLEN, Marriage Equality, Treoir, BeLong To, New Communities Partnership, ISPCC and Children’s Rights Alliance.

The annual Festival is the highlight of One Family’s ongoing campaign for a nationally celebrated Family Day, similar to Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, but which would include all children irrespective of their family make-up. In this 20th anniversary year of International Year of the Family, we can take the opportunity to refocus on the role of families, to take stock of recent trends in family policy development and share good practices, and review challenges faced by families in Ireland, one-parent and other families, and continue to recommend and pursue solutions.

One Family is also the founding member of the All Families Matter coalition of Irish NGOs campaigning for a Constitutional review of how family is defined. Currently hundreds of thousands of families in Ireland are excluded. All Families Matter has released the viral video Not A Real Family which can be viewed on YouTube.

The Family Day Festival is kindly supported by the Community Foundation for Ireland, Dublin City Council (DCC) and Today FM. The Iveagh Gardens is provided courtesy of the Office of Public Works (OPW).

Further information on www.familyday.ie where the full programme of events is available to read or download.

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About One Family
One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families, providing services to people parenting alone, sharing parenting and going through family transitions. Its policy work is rooted in its extensive family support work over the past four decades. Children are at the centre of this work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Listings
Family Day Festival | A celebration of the diversity of the family with free entertainment, games, workshops and fun for all ages | Sunday, 18 May 2014 | Iveagh Gardens, Dublin 2 | 11am – 5 pm | Free | 01 662 9212 | www.familyday.ie

Social Media
Facebook: @OneFamilyIreland / Event: https://www.facebook.com/events/1401257896821836/
Twitter: #FamilyDay @1FamilyIre / #AllFamiliesMatter

Available for Interview

• One Family CEO Karen Kiernan | t: 086 850 9191

For Images or Further Information
Shirley Chance, Director of Communications, One Family | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511 | e: schance@onefamily.ie

Press Release

‘Modern Family’ Festival to Celebrate All Families with Arts Workshops, Expert Talks, Magic, Music and More

Family Day Festival | Sunday, 18 May 2014 | Iveagh Gardens, Dublin 2 | Free

www.familyday.ie

(Dublin, 9 May 2014) One Family – Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families in Ireland – presents a fantastic programme in celebration of the diversity of the modern families in today’s Irish society at its annual free Family Day Festival in the Iveagh Gardens on Sunday, 18 May 2014 from 11am to 5pm with MC Aidan Bishop.

On the main stage, MC Aidan Bishop, acclaimed stand-up of the International Comedy Club, will introduce a variety of entertainers. Aidan comments: “I am very proud to be a part of the Family Day Festival. I’ve known about One Family for years as my fantastic cousin Sinéad is parenting alone and is on One Family’s Board of Directors.  I’ve been lucky enough to have the opportunity to be like a Dad in many ways to Sinead’s wonderful daughter, Bella.  What children need is love and security. I’ve seen that in lots of different types of family. For me, that’s what the Family Day Festival is all about – celebrating all the kinds of families that children live in today.”

Performing throughout the day is popular magician and Festival favourite, Brian Daly. Another highlight is the captivating singer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist Sinéad White. Sinéad was a hit at Longitude and Electric Picnic last year and her first album is due for release shortly. Also performing are the Nepalese Cultural Group with scintillating dances and music representing various ethnic backgrounds in Nepal and the wonderful Roma Children’s Choir, Musicantia.

Visitors can also enjoy the One Family Talking Tent which will present a series of expert talks on parenting and diverse family issues, and a cutting-edge line up of spoken word performers on the topic of ‘family’.

Workshops and entertainment offered on the day also include:

• A series of 5 yoga workshops from the Elbow Room with a session to suit each member of the family from pregnancy yoga to baby yoga to kids, teens and adults classes
• Fighting Words encouraging children to create their own stories
• Gaiety School of Acting presenting an acting workshop
• Imaginosity with  singing and story-telling all day
• Printing Wanted posters and making origami hats with the National Print Museum
• Making butter with Daisy Cottage Farm
• Some of the best holiday destinations for families in Ireland such as the award-winning Hotel Westport
• Play workshops for adults and children with Abrakedabra
• The Irish Landmark Trust inviting visitors into a recreation of one of its quirky heritage properties in the Iveagh Gardens, itself a beautiful heritage site
• DCC Boxing in the Community workshops with the rumour of an Irish Olympian in attendance
• The Ark Children’s Museum with comic visual arts activities
• DCC Library Services, the Red Cross and many more with activities and demonstrations
• Facepainting, balloon modelling, many other entertainers and the occasional surprise throughout the day

On hand too are a variety of key organisations working for and with families and children in Ireland today, sharing information about their services and with fun activities to enjoy. These include One Family, GLEN, Marriage Equality, Treoir, New Communities Partnership, ISPCC and Children’s Rights Alliance.

Those who cannot attend the festivities in the Iveagh Gardens are encouraged to host their own Family Day event which can be included on the Family Day site by emailing details to familyday@onefamily.ie.

The Family Day Festival is kindly supported by the Community Foundation of Ireland, Dublin City Council (DCC) and Today FM. The Iveagh Gardens is provided courtesy of the Office of Public Works (OPW).

Further information on www.familyday.ie where the full programme of events will soon be available.

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families, providing services to people parenting alone, sharing parenting and going through family transitions. Its policy work is rooted in its extensive family support work over the past four decades. Children are at the centre of this work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Listings

Family Day Festival | A celebration of the diversity of the family with free entertainment, games, workshops and fun for all ages | Sunday, 18 May 2014 | Iveagh Gardens, Dublin 2 | 11am – 5 pm | Free | 01 662 9212 | www.familyday.ie

Social Media

Facebook: @OneFamilyIreland / Event: https://www.facebook.com/events/1401257896821836/

Twitter: #FamilyDay @1FamilyIre

Available for Interview

• MC and comedian Aidan Bishop
• One Family CEO Karen Kiernan

For Images or Further Information

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications, One Family | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511 | e: schance@onefamily.ie

When there is an issue for any family member, holding a family meeting is a good way to resolve it as a family, and regular meetings can promote harmony between all family members.

Read on for our 10 Ways to Run A Family Meeting

1. Don’t force anyone into doing it. Try saying  ‘  I would like to give this a try – would you?’
2. Meetings should happen regularly on a certain day and time, even if there are no specific issues.
3. All family members need to attend, even the youngest.
4. Set ground rules for the meetings, including how to deal with someone who does not keep their agreements.
5. Decisions need to be made by consensus.
6. Make some time in the meeting for each person to say how they appreciate everyone or something someone did that they liked that week.
7. Nice snacks are important – you can rotate who chooses and prepares the treats. Children will find it fun to be given the responsibility for this task.
8. As a parent, try not to talk too much – family meetings are about sharing power.
9. Agree a way forward, write it down and try it.
10. Review the plan, if it works, great! If not make a new plan.

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is adapted by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, from our Family Communications training programme.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Positively Maintaining Contact, 10 Ways to Effective Toilet Training and 10 Ways to Increase Social Engagement.

One Family offers a suite of training opportunities for parents and for professionals on an on-going basis. To find out more, click here or call 01 662 9212.

(Photo credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net/Teerapun)

Siblings can play wonderful roles throughout each other’s lives though there can be challenges along the way. Here are some of our tips to help nurture those important relationships.

10 Ways to Parent Siblings

1. Prepare early: talk to older children and prepare them early on about the importance and role of an older sibling as a source of guidance and care. Do be careful that you do not give an older child too much responsibility for a younger one.
2. Let children express how they feel: if a child is experiencing negative emotions about their brother or sister, allow the child to talk about it. Often a child just needs to be listened to.
3. Don’t play favourite: never show a special preference for one of your children.
4. Never compare your children: they are their own individual persons, so celebrate their differences and let them know they are special for who they are.
5. Respect personal space: make sure each child has enough time and space of their own. Children need opportunities to do their own thing, and to play with their own friends without their sibling.
6. Positive Communication: teach your children how to positively get attention from each other rather than picking a fight.
7. Foster co-operation rather than competition: set tasks up that require co-operation among your children, such as having them race the clock to pick up toys instead of racing each other.
8. Develop ground rules together: have family discussions about what rules to establish and receive feedback from your children. Listening to what they need from you and each other may reduce future conflicts.
9. Do not shout or lecture: it does not help the situation if you get frustrated too. Your children will learn and imitate the way you handle resolving problems.
10. Hold children equally responsible: keep in mind that when rules are broken or conflicts arise, it does not matter who started it because it always takes more than one person to cause an argument or fight.

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is adapted by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, from our Family Communications training programme.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Positively Maintaining Contact, 10 Ways to Effective Toilet Training and 10 Ways to Run Family Meetings.

One Family offers a suite of training opportunities for parents and for professionals on an on-going basis. To find out more, click here or call 01 662 9212.

(Photo credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net/imagerymajestic)

Kitty Holland writes in the Irish Times today about the distressing case of Sabrina McMahon, a lone parent who has been spending nights with her three young children in their car. Housing concerns and worries are the cause of continuous stress for many of the parents One Family works with, with many telling us they are ‘on the edge’.

Good secure housing enhances children’s well-being and helps provide stability for family relationships, schools and development. The housing crisis is a challenge for Minister Burton that she has to resolve for Budget 2015.

Every month, we invite responses to our anonymous, 3 question survey. Last month’s was on Housing Supports. Comments made by some of those who took the survey included:

I’m from Dublin and still have family there but I was forced to move to Wicklow in 2007 where I have no family or supports.

I can’t do a Masters in Education as I was planning, as I live over 45 km from the college I would have had to attend and I would not be able to afford the journeys.

Having to move constantly due to rent increases takes up time, money and creates instability. A constant home is essential in maintaining positive routine.

Security of place is very important for emotional stability of the children.

Longer leases, RAS (Rent Allowance Supplement) to be more attractive for landlords and to be extended beyond a once off, and more social housing is key with rent to buy schemes in place. 

The Housing Supports survey results can be read here. This will be a key topic of One Family’s Budget 2015 submission.

This month’s survey is on Housing and Rent Supplement Limits and can be taken here.

Modern Family is a new Today FM four-part documentary series on family diversity in Ireland, funded by the Broadcasting Authority of Ireland and narrated by Ray D’Arcy and produced by Mary Carroll.

The series aims to explore the changing face of modern families. Part 4 is a focus on one-parent families and separated parents sharing parenting. It features interviews with one of our founders, Evelyn Forde, and other One Family friends and colleagues.

The four episodes will be first broadcast over this Easter Weekend as below:

1. Modern Family Ep1: Same-sex parents | Friday 18 April 10.30am (Listen back here)
2. Modern Family Ep2: Families with disabilities | Saturday 19 April 10.30am (Listen back here)
3. Modern Family Ep3: Immigrant families | Sunday 20 April 9.30am (Listen back here)
4. Modern Family Ep4: One-parent families | Monday 21 April 10.30am (Listen back here)

Note that we will update this post with links to listen back to each episode as they become available.

Further details:

Episode 1 – Same-sex parents More than two decades ago, when Bernadette and Ann decided to start a family as a lesbian couple, they were ahead of their time. Together they raised their two sons, Conor and Darragh in a society where they sometimes felt isolated and stigmatised as same-sex parents. Clare and Aishling met when they were in school. When Clare hit her 30s the pair started talking about having children. They decided to use donor sperm for artificial insemination and they now have a son, Darragh. Glenn and Adriano became the first gay couple in the state to have their civil partnership formally recognised back in January 2011. Glenn has a nine year-old daughter and shares her parenting duties with her mother.

Episode 2 – Families with disabilities Until the age of 18 Julie lived in institutions – residential centres for children with disabilities. She was one of the first children from the hospital to attend the local secondary school and was the first person in a wheelchair to be recruited in the Civil Service. She is married to Mick and has three children. She talks about the challenges she faced in 1970s Ireland, a society where disabled people were invisible. Cerebral Palsy sufferer Ken Kelly is engaged to Gillian Murray, who has Spina Bifida. They want to move in together but there is a lot that has to be considered. Kieran Coppinger is from Mervue in Galway and has Down Syndrome and he talks about his desire to find a girlfriend and his burgeoning acting career.

Episode 3 – Immigrant families Dr Moosajee Bhamjee was Ireland’s first black, Muslim TD. Originally from South Africa (born to Indian parents), he came to Dublin in 1965 where he studied medicine at the Royal College of Surgeons. He tells us how Irish society has evolved since he arrived over forty years ago. Born in Italy and raised in Sri Lanka, broadcaster and social justice activist Dil Wickremasinghe feels thoroughly Irish. She moved here fourteen years ago and as a gay woman she felt immediately welcome. Tomasz Kostienko and his family came to Ireland in 2007. Tomasz felt accepted straight away and his three children now call Ireland home but he dreams of returning to Poland.  Others have not felt so welcome. Refugee Lassane Ouedraogo arrived here from Burkina Faso seven years ago. He has found it difficult to be accepted in and has experienced racism from Irish people.

Episode 4 – One-parent families Today in Ireland, over half a million people live in one-parent families. However, a generation ago, being a lone parent was strongly disapproved of. When Evelyn Forde realised she was pregnant in 1973, she was faced with the heartbreaking dilemma of whether or not to put her child up for adoption. Labour TD Ciara Conway became pregnant in her final year of college. Her daughter Aeva-May is now 11 years old and Ciara speaks about the difficulties of juggling a hectic work and family life. Three years ago Ciara met Gary and they married at Christmas. Aeva-May talks about bringing Gary into their family. Bonnie Brady is raising her son Jayden alone. She speaks about how her life changed dramatically when Jayden arrived and how difficult it is to make ends meet and pursue her career while parenting alone. Paul and his partner separated when their son Eoin was six months old. They share parenting duties now, but spent years fighting over access. It took Paul a long time to learn that every decision he made had to be in Eoin’s best interest, not his.