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askonefamily | Budget 2016 Social Welfare Changes
We have summarised some of the main changes from Budget 2016 (presented on 13 October 2015) which may affect one-parent families. If you or anyone you know would like information regarding your individual circumstances, askonefamily is available on 1890 66 22 12 / 01 662 9212 or by email here.
Budget 2016 | Social Welfare Changes
- No change to the main social welfare payment rates, which include One-Parent Family Payment, Jobseeker’s Allowance Transition and Jobseeker’s Allowance, so it remains at €188 a week for the adult and €29.80 per week, per child.
- The earnings disregard of €90 a week, which applies to One-Parent Family Payment, will now also apply to Jobseeker’s Allowance Transition. Earnings over €90 will be assessed at 50% rather than the previous 60%. This will apply from January 2016.
- Fuel Allowance will increase from 1st January 2016 to €22.50 a week, up from €20.
- Family Income Supplement net income thresholds will increase between €5 and €10 a week, also from January 2016:
| Family size | 2015 rates | 2016 rates |
| 1 child | €506 | €511 |
| 2 children | €602 | €612 |
| 3 children | €703 | €713 |
| 4 children | €824 | €834 |
| 5 children | €950 | €960 |
- Child Benefit will increase by €5 a month, from January 2016
- The Christmas bonus will be paid in December 2015 to long-term social welfare recipients at a rate of 75% of their payment; this includes those on One-Parent Family Payment, Jobseeker’s Allowance transition, Carer’s Allowance, Disability Allowance, Widow/Widower’s/Surviving Civil Partner’s Pensions.
- It will also be paid to those on Back to Work Allowance, Community Employment, Rural Social Scheme, Tús, Gateway and Jobs Initiative.
- There will be 2 week Paternity Benefit, in respect of births from September 2016.
- Those on Carer’s Allowance who have been in receipt of the Respite Care Grant will receive an increase in the payment, to €1,700 and it will be called the Carer’s Support Grant.
The information above can be downloaded here.
Parenting | 10 Ways to Starting Over
Relationships can become very negative within families. This is often due to the many layers of challenges parents are faced with on a daily basis. At times we wonder what we got ourselves into and how we are going to cope.
It is never too late to review your relationships and make positive changes. If you feel you have become weighed down by the stress of life and that your parenting has moved into a place you had never expected it to be, then maybe it is time to think about a fresh start.
The following tips may support you to make changes to your parent-child relationships and aid you in the process of starting over:
- Think about what life use to be like. What did you like about parenting in the early days? What type of relationship did you dream you would have with your child? Was there ever a time that you felt you had a very positive relationship with your child? It is possible to regain that bond.
- Now think about what went wrong. What is stopping you from parenting in a way you would like to? What do you children need from you that you find you can’t give?
- Start by improving your relationship with yourself. What needs do you have? Can you identify your needs and explore how you can get them met. Self care is the key to a positive relationship with others. Think about what you are good at when it comes to parenting. Are you organised? A good planner? Do you stick to routines? Are you good at cooking, helping with homework? How patient are you? Can you tell or read stories? Do you enjoy playing games?
- Choose one thing you are good at- there is at least one – use this as a base to start a new relationship with your child. If, for example, you are good at telling stories why not start a weekly library trip? Focus on this one hour with your child each week. Encourage them to enjoy books. Find books and stories that interest you both. If you can have this one hour a week with your child that you both enjoy, it will support a positive feeling that you can build upon.
- Make a list of what you admire about your child. Try to wear rose coloured glasses for a week and only focus on what your child does well. Praise them when you see them do nice things, even if they are small. Focus on encouraging them and admiring them. At times all our energy goes into what our children do to upset us. Children generally don’t wake up with a plan to upset and annoy their parents. If we can focus on the positives and train ourselves to spend 70% of your energy on the positives you will see dramatic changes in your relationship with your child.
- Explore the issues that really challenge you in parenting your child and yourself. Pick one and look at what you can do to change things. If, for example, you find your child is not listening, think about how good you listen. Explore what stops you from listening. Sit with your child and name the issue – stick to one – and name how you feel about it. Ask your child how they feel about this issue. Together you can plan the changes to be made in the next week to acknowledge each other’s needs.
- Try not to blame, it takes two people to have a relationship. Own your part and support your child to make changes along with you. If your child is less than 3 years then focus on what you can do differently. When we make a change to our own behaviour it will have a ripple effect on those around us.
- Work on one issue at a time and introduce weekly family meetings. If your children are over 3 years old this is a very effective way to get everyone talking and communicating. Let everyone have a voice. You only have to listen. Hear what your children. Click here to read our ’10 Ways to Run a Family Meeting’.
- There is no purpose in blaming your children for how they behave. Children respond to the environment they live in. Hear what they say and then make a statement about what you would like to see happen. Can you have weekly dates with your children? Individual quality time is very effective and allows you focus on what each individual child enjoys. Group activities every other week are also great at bringing family together. These can just be fun things in the home, where there is calmness and room to talk.
- Try to focus on what you do well each day. Name one thing you do well or even partly well that day and sleep on that. In doing this, you will support yourself to make change and believe that positive change can happen.
Seek professional support if you are really struggling. Taking part in a parenting class can really help guide you and offer you support. One Family also offer one to one parent mentoring support. Do not do it alone, ask for help and achieve your dream relationship with your children.
This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.
LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Monday 28 September from 11am-12pm in our NEW One Family Parenting Group which is a closed Facebook group (meaning that only members can read posts) that anyone can join. Post your questions and share your experiences.
Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.
Parenting | 10 Ways to Talk to Your Teenager About Responsible Behaviour
Many parents dread the teenage years. Drinking alcohol, smoking, sex and many other issues come up when our children reach this age. Many of them are normal for this stage of development. At times we can worry too much about what the teenage years will bring so we ban everything, thinking if we take full control nothing can go wrong. The unfortunate thing is, you are not spending as much time with your child now, so you are not going to be able to control everything they do or everything that happens to them.
Here are some tips to help you survive the journey with your child and see them through the teenage years in a positive way:
- Try to not expect the worst. We hear so much from other parents and the media about what young people get up to. This is usually a smaller percentage than you would think. Try not to be afraid to hear what lies ahead for your teen. It can be a wonderful time for them and for you if you trust your skills as a parent and trust your child to make good choices.
- Try not to ban things. The more you say ‘no’ the more your teen will focus their energy on finding a way to get or to do whatever they want. Instead explore with your teenager how they can make good choices around what it is they need to do.
- Almost every teen will try alcohol, most likely between 14-17 years old. There is very little you can do to stop them from accessing alcohol if they really want to. Talk with them about your fears around what alcohol can do to a person. Talk with them about how they would cope. Who would they go to for support if they made the wrong choice? Talk with them about making responsible choices.
- At this age teenagers can also be in and out of many relationships. Some young people will engage in sexual behaviour before the age of 18. You can talk with them about self respect, feeling safe, saying ‘No’. Try not to back away from talking with your teen about contraception. Make a GP appointment for girls especially and help them get information about their options. Introduce your teen to literature around relationships. By supporting your teen to be armed with the correct information you will be supporting them to make the right choices. Just because you give them this information does not mean you are giving them permission to engage in sexual relationships, but making sure that if they choose to they are doing it in a responsible way.
- Allow your teenager some freedom. If you can start in the very early years to give your child opportunities to make choices and act in responsible ways then as teenagers you will have some idea of what your teenager is capable of. Teenagers need space and need for you to trust them. Start from a place of trust, if they prove unable to act responsibly, then take away the freedoms and start again.
- Be very clear with your teenager about boundaries in the home and the community. Stick to your principles. Ensure your teen understands the boundaries and why they exist. Review them regularly as you will need to shift the boundaries as your teen grows and shows you how responsible they can be.
- Be fair. Listen to your teenager and hear what they have to say. Try not to do things because that is how you were parented or because you feel you are expected to parent in certain ways. Be confident in how you parent, you know your child best and you need to trust your instincts. If you really feel you are out of your depth seek professional support. Call the askonefamily helpline on 1890 662 212
- Try to be not too strict with teens. Allow them downtime. Do they really need to get up by 10am at the weekends? Why not get a piercing? What about it if they wear to much make up or dye their hair? Choose your battles wisely and be open to hearing their views. Explore the issue for yourself. Educate yourself about Facebook and other social media. Share your views with teens and try to reach agreement with them.
- Although you are asked to be open to the challenges of the teenage years you must also be very clear about what you expect from your teen. Follow through and do not change the rules to suit you. Deal with issues when they arise and try not to imagine every wrong choice your teen will make. Making mistakes is part of growing up, making them in the safety of your family and home are what you want. You can then be there to offer support.
- Try not to criticise your teen. They are trying their best. Life can be hard for them too. Do not belittle the challenges they face. Although they are very near to adulthood they are still children so allow them these years to explore, learn and understand the type of person they are and want to become.
This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.
LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Thursday 24 September from 5pm-6pm in our NEW One Family Parenting Group which is a closed Facebook group (meaning that only members can read posts) that anyone can join. Post your questions and share your experiences.
Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.
Parenting | 10 Ways to Relate to Your Teenager
Often parents will say they had a great relationship with their child until they became a teenager. Many of us will know every move our child makes up to the end of primary school and then suddenly they begin second level. There are many changes that you could be facing – you may no longer be taking them to school, they may be getting public buses, there is a wider catchment area for the school so you no longer know the parents. All these factors can lead to parents becoming just as anxious as the child about the start of secondary school. At this stage the key to survival is realising that you can’t control your child. Your role is to teach them responsibility and allow them the opportunity to be responsible.
Here are some steps you can take to support a positive relationship with your teen:
- Trust them, you have had 12 years of hand holding and now it is time to start letting go.
- Expect your child to be responsible. You will not know what they are capable of until you let them try. Support them to be responsible by allowing them the space to make up their own minds.
- Meet them where they are at. If it seems like they are not able for the level of responsibility you offer, draw back a little and start again.
- Talk ‘with’ them, not ‘at’ them. Try to hear what they have to say. Let them express their opinions, don’t react, just listen.
- Do not jump in with your answers. Support them to explore the issue they have and to come up with reasonable solutions to it. Allow them make the decision on how they move forward and address their problem.
- Take time to be present to them. Sit with them and watch what they like to watch. Be available to them as much as you can. The more time you spend in their company the more you will understand their world. It is more complex than you might imagine.
- Do not trivialise their issues. Life can be very complicated and they need your support to find their way through it.
- Remember, they are now growing up, in a few years they may move out. Question what you are doing with them and for them. Is it the right thing? Are you still treating them like children, but expecting them to behave like teenagers?
- Value what they have to say. Ask their opinion on family matters and issues within society. You may be surprised what you learn about your teenager. It is healthy to get them talking about how they feel and how they see the world.
- Try to say ‘yes’ to what they need and explore with them how they can achieve it. While we have to be realistic and responsible with what we allow them to have, we can also enable them to gain extra things they want. At times it can feel like our children think we have an endless supply box. As parents, we have to remember that teenagers can be very self absorbed, their world is far more important than ours, but it is how we share our worlds that decides how lifelong bonds can be formed.
Staying separate from their issues is very important. Explore with them but do not become immersed in their life. Allow them space and some freedom within reasonable limits and with clear boundaries. Enjoy your teenager, in a few short years your work will be done and they will fly off to be their own person. If you create good relationships now you can be sure they will always come back to you for support throughout their life journey.
This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.
Next you might like to read: 10 Ways to Build and Maintain a Close Relationship with Your Teenager
LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Thursday 17 September from 5pm-6pm in our NEW One Family Parenting Group which is a closed Facebook group (meaning that only members can read posts) that anyone can join. Post your questions and share your experiences.
Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.