askonefamily | Holiday Season Opening Hours

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tree-and-baublesThe Board and staff of One Family wish you and your family a peaceful and joyful festive season.

Our office and our askonefamily helpline close on Thursday 22 December 2016 and will reopen on Tuesday 3 January 2017.

We have gathered these numbers for other services that you may find useful if you need information or support over the holiday season:

Citizens Information Phone Services (CIPS): 0761 07 4000
Parentline: 1890 927 277
Childline: 1800 66 66 66
Teenline: 1800 833 634
Aware: 1890 303 302
Samaritans: 116 123

Policy | Submission to the Citizen’s Assembly on the 8th Amendment

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OFOne Family has sent a submission to the Citizen’s Assembly on the 8th Amendment.

One Family believes that the presence of the 8th Amendment causes real harm to the women and families whom One Family supports. It leads to the greater likelihood of later and less safe abortion; of women self aborting with pills on their own in isolation; of poorer physical and mental health; of increased shame, stigma and stress.

This amendment and subsequent legislation including the 1995 Information Act and the 2014 Protection of Life in Pregnancy Act has resulted in an extremely regulated environment for women who need to access abortion services, for those who provide crisis pregnancy counselling and for those providing medical and health care to pregnant women. These legislative measures do not support women’s health care and a client-centred approach.

Based on One Family’s 44 years of work with vulnerable women the focus is always on the well being and safety of the clients. This is severely compromised by the various laws in relation to abortion and the regulation of pregnant women in Ireland.

One Family strongly recommends that the 8th Amendment is removed from our Constitution, that abortion is decriminalised and that the provision of an abortion becomes solely a health matter between a woman and her doctor.

You can read the full submission here

Parenting Tips | Learn to self-care

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Everyone has bad days with children, days when we don’t handle situations well, days when we want to scream and run out the door. It is normal to a certain extent to feel this way. Parenting is the hardest job in the world at times, and the most unrecognised and unsupported. When doing it on your own it can be even more difficult as you don’t have someone who can take over when you feel you need a break.

The lead up to Christmas can pile on additional stress. Our heads can be full of so many issues that when the children start to act up, it can be the final straw. Usually the children are more challenging because they know and feel that you are not present for them. They have needs which are not being met and they don’t know how to tell you about how they feel. All they know is how to act it out.

It is important to put measures in place to help you recognise when you are starting to neglect your own care. We offer ’10 ways to’ care for yourself as a parent:

  1. Learn to recognise your levels of stress. Take time each day to reflect on how you are feeling.
  2. Try to identify things that went well each day, no matter how small they are.
  3. Try not to give all your energy to what is going wrong. Explore who can help you, what steps can you take.
  4. Make a list of the issues you need to resolve. Try to be less critical of yourself. Name the things you are good at, focus on these.
  5. Create time to think and plan – can children go on play dates to allow this happen for you?
  6. Talk with your children about what is going on and help them to form a plan with you. Hear what it is like for them.
  7. Don’t give up. Your children need you and no one can replace you. You need to believe that you are the right person to parent your children.
  8. Join a parenting group to get support from other parents and learn new skills and knowledge which will help you understand your children.
  9. Identify your needs. Where are the gaps? You will need to be creative in finding ways to meet these needs. By parenting yourself you will be able to parent your children.
  10. Seek professional support if you feel really low. Call theaskonefamily helpline to talk with someone. Talking can usually help you understand what is going wrong and what changes you can make. Seek support from your GP or contact your local social worker if you feel you need support around mental health, addiction or abuse.

Remember, there are people out there who can and want to support you to parent. Ask for the support if you can. It does not make you a poor parent if you need to get support from others. Nobody can parent on their own, being brave enough to ask for help and support is what makes you a great parent as you recognise that you and your children need help.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

 

Policy | The European Institute for Gender Equality (EIGE) Report

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OFThe European Institute for Gender Equality (EIGE) published a new report last week entitled Poverty, Gender and Intersecting Inequalities in the EU Review of the implementation of Area A: Women and Poverty of the Beijing Platform for Action.

This report is part of EIGE’s mandate to monitor EU progress towards gender equality, specifically in relation to the objectives of the Beijing Platform for Action (BPFA) and it is hoped that its findings and recommendations offer solid and useful evidence to address the unresolved challenges for gender equality facing Europe today.

One Family know the shocking and unacceptable facts and we hear the families we work with and support; and it’s time that Government fully listens to and takes real action to honour its commitment to lift over 97,000 children out of consistent poverty by 2020.

Some of the key findings:

Almost every second lone mother (49 per cent) across the EU and a third of lone fathers (32 per cent) are at risk of poverty or social exclusion.

What lone mothers as well as lone fathers tend to lack are financial security and savings for larger or unexpected expenses, rather than specific items such as a phone or a television. 26 % of lone mothers and 16 % of lone fathers have experienced difficulties in paying utility bills.

Lone parents are more often lacking resources to spend on themselves, particularly lone mothers. Only 55 % of lone mothers say that they can spend a small amount of money each week on themselves (compared to 78 % of lone fathers).

The risk of poverty or exclusion among lone parents is very different across the EU-28, varying from 35 % in Slovakia, Finland and Sweden to 58 % in Cyprus, Hungary, Ireland and the United Kingdom, and 69 % in Bulgaria.

When compared to couples with children, parents who are bringing up a child or children without a partner face poverty remarkably more often. The gaps between the poverty rates of couples with children and lone parents are significantly wide, and stand at up to 38 percentage points in Cyprus and the United Kingdom and 37 percentage points in Belgium and Ireland.

Report

Summary Factsheet

Parenting Tips | How to listen

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Listening is not the same as hearing.  To listen means to pay attention not just to what is being said but how it is being said, including paying attention to the types of words used, the tone of voice and body language.  The key to understanding is effective listening. In this week’s ’10 Ways to’ we look at how to improve listening in the home.

  1. Do I listen? Ask yourself what type of listener you are. Are you focused or distracted? Empathetic or impatient?
  2. Stop shouting: Children do not respond positively to shouting so try always to speak in a calm manner.
  3. Eye contact: When talking to your child, get down to their level and look them in the eye.
  4. Be clear: Do your children understand what you are saying to them? Clarify if needed.
  5. Family meetings: Talk as a family about what not listening to each other causes within the family – ask if everyone would like things to be better.
  6. Reward: Notice good listening and reward it.
  7. Remember: Put a note up somewhere, like on the fridge, to remind you as a parent to listen.
  8. Make time: Make time – at meals, when children come in from school, when parents come in from work – to talk to each other and listen to your children have to say.
  9. Active listening: Practice actively listening to what your children say. Down tools and stop what you’re doing to listen, or ask them to wait until you can give them 100% of your attention (but not too long).
  10. Building relationships: Listening to your child and other family members increases positive behaviour in the home and improves relationships.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

For support and advice on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.