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10 ways to understanding Children’s Emotions and The Learning Power of Play

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Play and EmotionsPlay is an outlet for children to make sense of what they see, think and feel. It allows them the opportunity to express themselves, which is a vital part of their physical, intellectual and emotional development. Children can often struggle with their feelings and this frustration can lead to difficult behaviour, such as tantrums. It is important that parents take an active role in their child’s emotional development and to lead by example when it comes to expressing anger, sadness and frustration in a healthy way.

  1. The importance of play in a child’s life cannot be underestimated. Play is a child’s work and is ‘serious stuff’.
  2. Play helps children develop self-esteem and good social skills. It is also an important element in improving your child’s motor skills, problem-solving abilities and aids physical and intellectual development.
  3. Can you, as a parent, spend 20 minutes a day playing, listening and talking to your child?
  4. Our ability to feel and express our emotions helps us to stay connected with the world around us and to work through our feelings in healthy way.
  5. Children will express their sadness and grief quite naturally given the right amount of support. Children and young people learn how to express and deal with emotion from their parents and family members.
  6. We need fear to keep us safe. However, if children are too full of fear they will not be able to stand up for themselves or to express themselves. It is important to show children that feeling fear is normal. Tell them some of your fears and how you cope, in doing this, you enable your child to develop these skills too.
  7. Children need boundaries around the good stuff just like they need boundaries around fear and anger.
  8. Children’s natural impulse is to hit out when they feel angry. Adults need to be able to help children to manage and  express their anger in a healthy way.
  9.  A child who displays too little anger may be open to bullying and may be seen as a bit of a ‘wimp’ and a pushover.
  10. A child who expresses too much anger may become a bully and have difficulty in managing emotions without becoming aggressive or even violent. This can make it difficult for the child to have healthy social relationships.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming up next week; 10 Ways to Talk to Your Child about Your Family Situation. 

LIVE Facebook Q&A on this topic with Geraldine, 2 March from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your questions.

Next you might like to read, 10 Ways to Support a Child Who is Being Bullied or 10 Ways to Support a Child Who is Bullying

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Difficult Behaviour

10 ways to Handle Difficult Behaviour – Part Two

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Difficult Behaviour Consistency is vital to teaching your children that all behaviour breeds a reaction and whether that reaction is good or bad depends on how they choose to act. Enabling them to make good choices by being consistent in your reaction is a powerful tool in handling difficult behaviour.

  1. Consistency is one of the most important factors in successful parenting.
  2. A child who knows that their parent always follows through on what they say is more likely to choose a positive behavior.
  3. Making better choices makes a child’s life easier and supports him/her in developing responsibility.
  4. Inconsistency can cause children to feel unimportant, insecure and confused.
  5. Routines offer predictability and stability for children.
  6. It is impossible to change all behaviours at once.
  7. Focus on one behaviour, either positive or negative, that you would like to change.
  8. Children’s behaviour will not change overnight. Be patient with yourself and with your child.
  9. Remember that if you have changed your behaviour from being someone who didn’t follow through to being a parent who means what they say then it will take your child time to react to this change and bring about change in their own behaviour.
  10. Sometimes children will respond well and quickly to change, and then gradually drift back to old ways. Do not despair, this is normal. Remain firm, calm and consistent until the new behaviour becomes the norm.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming up Next Week: 10 ways to Help your Children Express Their Emotions and the Importance of Play.

LIVE Facebook Q&A on this topic with Geraldine, 23 February from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your questions.

Next you might like to read: 10 Reasons Why Children Misbehave and The Power of Positive Attention

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Difficult Behaviour

10 Ways to Handle Difficult Behaviour – Part One

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Difficult BehaviourDifficult behaviour can be tough to deal with, especially when you are already under stress. Children act out for many reasons and tantrums are often the result of frustration and misunderstanding. Here are a few tips on how to handle this difficult behaviour and to teach your children the power of positive choices.

  1. Positive parenting requires parents to teach their children how to make good choices and to provide them with the tools to do so.
  2. Using discipline as a tool for teaching promotes self-esteem, responsibility and good choices.
  3. A child who learns that there are consequences for their choices will be in a much better position to negotiate the challenges of adult life than a child who does not know their limits.
  4. It is a common misconception that in order to behave in a loving way a parent must meet a child’s every whim and allow them to express their impulses and desires without limits.
  5.  Strong, but not rigid, boundaries help children to feel safe and secure.
  6. Tantrums are often a sign of the child becoming frustrated with the world, especially if they can’t get a parent to do something that they want.
  7.  Handled well, tantrums should decrease as the child learns to negotiate their environment more effectively.
  8.  A parent’s role is to attempt to manage and organise a child’s environment so as to minimize the causes of tantrums.
  9. When dealing with a tantrum; speak at your child’s level, establish and maintain eye contact and give clear commands.
  10. Tell your children what you would like them to do and why. Be Clear. Be Consistent.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming up next week; 10 Ways to Handle Difficult Behaviour – Part Two.

LIVE Facebook Q&A on this topic with Geraldine, 16 February from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your questions.

Next you might like to read,  10 Ways to make Positive Parenting Changes.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

 

Active Listening

10 ways to Active Listening and Assertive Parenting

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Active ListeningActive Listening is an important part of being an assertive parent. It allows children to express their emotions and shows your child that you are taking on board  what they are saying and making an effort to understand how they are feeling about what is going on in their lives.

  1. A child who is allowed time to think for themselves learns to have faith in their own problem solving abilities.

  2. Parents who use active listening teach their children that they are valuable individuals who, given time, can work through and find solutions to the many challenges they may face in life.
  3. Our aim as parents is to be assertive in how we communicate and relate to our children.
  4. Assertiveness is a skill that is learned over time. Through patience and persistence it can transform the relationship between parents and their children.
  5. The world can be a difficult and complicated place for children.
  6. Active listening is the key to good communication.
  7. Listen for feelings and try to put a name on that feeling.
  8. Let your child clarify what feelings they are experiencing or correct you if you have got the feeling wrong.
  9. Being self-aware is crucial to successful anger management. Ask yourself, ‘What is the trigger for this anger I feel?’

  10. You can control your own behaviour and this will model anger management for your child, but you cannot control your child’s behaviour.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming up Next Week: 10 ways to Handling Difficult Behaviour – Part 1.

LIVE Facebook Q&A on this topic with Geraldine, 9 February from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your questions.

Next you might like to read 10 ways to Improve your child’s Self Esteem, 10 ways to Be Assertive or 10 ways to Improve Listening in the Home

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Dad and child's hands

63% of One-Parent Family Households in Ireland Suffer Deprivation According to SILC Report

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Press Release

63% of One-Parent Family Households in Ireland Suffer Deprivation – Shameful!

SILC Report 2013 Launched Today

www.onefamily.ie

(Dublin, Wednesday 21 January 2014) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone and sharing parenting – reacts to the Survey on Income and Living Conditions (SILC) 2013 results published today, which clearly show that those living in households with one adult and one or more children had the highest deprivation rate in 2013 at 63.2% and the highest consistent poverty rate at 23%, with distress but not surprise.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, comments: “Today’s SILC results amplify what we keep saying. People parenting alone tell us through our monthly surveys, askonefamily helpline and our mentoring, counselling, education and human services that they live on the knife edge of poverty. Government ignores the lived reality of these parents’ caring responsibilities. It continues to enforce new, ill-formed activation measures without provision of effective supports such the long-promised, affordable quality childcare. Over 39,000 lone parents will be taken off their One-Parent Family Payment and moved to Job Seekers Transitional in July this year. The real impact of this will be even more hardship and we’ll see yet another rise in the numbers of one-parent families suffering deprivation in future reports.”

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, states: “It is shameful and reduces children’s life chances. People parenting alone are still being hit the hardest. Over 800 lone parents who are also caring for adult family members are set to lose another €86 per week this year. How much further can the income gap widen? Austerity has impacted on everyone. Enforced deprivation was experienced by 30% of the population last year, up from 26% in 2012 and the deprivation rate for those at risk of poverty increased from 46% to 53%, which proves that the income gap is widening. How is that just and fair?”

Stuart continues: “One in four families with children in Ireland is a one-parent family, over half a million people. With two thirds of these families shown to live in deprivation and suffering the highest consistent poverty rate, Government needs to finally admit that its current policies are just not working. People parenting alone want to do their best for their children’s futures and 53% of lone parents are in the labour market. But current policies mean that the barriers to lone parents returning to employment or education are leading to an increasing dependence on social welfare over time. It is very difficult to make progress for your family while living under constant fear of an energy bill or the threat of homelessness, as so many thousands of people parenting alone do today. Government needs to listen and act, as its choices condemn one-parent families to persistent poverty.”

One Family recorded a staggering 30% increase of callers to its askonefamily helpline in 2013. The real impact of years of austerity is only now being realised and one-parent families and parents sharing parenting of their children have borne the brunt of spending cuts. One Family reiterates its call to Government to enact its 10 Solutions campaign, with an immediate focus on provision of affordable and accessible quality local childcare.  Every parent should have an equal opportunity to create a better future for his or her children. All families deserve an equal chance.

Further information on One Family’s 10 Solutions.

Central Statistics Office (CSO) SILC results.

The askonefamily helpline can be contacted on lo-call 1890 66 22 12.

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 62 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 664 0124 / e: schance@onefamily.ie