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Coping with the End of a Relationship

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A relationship ending can mean a huge sense of loss, shock and disbelief, and result in anger, fear and stress. There are many practical issues to be sorted out which can seem overwhelming, particularly in a difficult break-up without both persons cooperating. These practical issues need attention and the sooner separating parents begin resolving them, the sooner the family can settle into new routines and arrangements.

5 Ways to Cope with the End of a Relationship

  1. Talk to your children about what is happening in the family, once the decision to separate is final. Mums and dads might like to think children are not aware of difficulties between them but they often notice more than you think and it is important to let them know that the separation is not their fault. It is an emotional and uncertain time for all of you. If you can talk to them together it can help your children to understand that you are both available to them at this time, despite what is happening. Share future plans and arrangements with them, if possible.
  2. Set aside the issues of your adult relationship when it comes to the relationship that your children have with their other parent – try to remain courteous towards them or if this is too difficult, be neutral as your children love both of you.
  3. Find someone you trust to talk to. Get support from a trusted friend or professional – family members can also be supportive in many ways although sometimes may be less impartial, especially when there may be conflict between the couple.  It is important that you have a space to talk about how you are feeling.
  4. Consider mediation. This can be a way of negotiating and working out a plan for the future, on everything from money to sharing parenting.  See www.legalaidboard.ie for details of the free Family Mediation Service in many locations around the country.
  5. Get legal advice. You do not need to do anything with it but it may help in your decision-making to know where you stand legally and what options may be there, if needed. See FLAC (Free Legal Aid Advice Centres) on www.flac.ie for details of the legal advice centre nearest you.

There is no denying that this is a particularly difficult time but trying to remain optimistic and acknowledging your feelings will help. One Family’s national lo-call askonefamily helpline is available on 1890 662 212 and by email at support@onefamily.ie.

Further information is also available in the askonefamily section of this site.

Update on the Single Person Child Carer Credit

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Many worried parents are calling our askonefamily lo-call helpline regarding the Single Person Child Carer Credit which has replaced the One-Parent Family Credit from 1st January 2014. The Single Person Child Carer Credit (SPCCC) is different from the One-Parent Family Credit (OPFC) as now it is only available to one parent – the parent with whom the child lives for a majority of the year – whereas previously both parents could each claim the credit for their child.

Revenue refer to the Primary Claimant and the Secondary Claimant; the first being the parent with whom the child lives for either the full year or most of the year and the second being the parent with whom the child spends time and resides for at least 100 days in the year.

The qualifying conditions are:

  • That your child is either born in the tax year, is aged under 18 at the start of the tax year or over 18 but in full time education.
  • As the claimant you must not be cohabiting or be jointly assessed for tax (either as married or civilly partnered) or be married or civilly partnered (unless separated) or widowed or a surviving civil partner in the year for which you are making the claim.

Who can claim?

  • If the parent with whom the child lives most of the time (primary claimant) does not avail of the SPCCC then it can be relinquished by completing the form SPCCC1. This then means the other parent (secondary claimant) can claim it by completing form SPCCC2, as long as they satisfy the criteria, in that the child must live with them for at least 100 days in the year.
  • In instances where the court has awarded joint custody then the parent who receives the Child Benefit will receive the SPCCC.  If they are not in employment, or they choose to do so, then it can be relinquished and the other parent can claim it instead, as the secondary claimant.

In the event of the primary claimant relinquishing the tax credit and the secondary claimant applying for and being allocated it, then it remains with this person for the full tax year.  If the primary claimant then applies for it during the year (if they go into employment) then it will remain with the secondary claimant for the rest of that year but it will then be allocated to the primary claimant for the following tax year.

The Revenue website has a list of Frequently Asked Questions which may help you determine who may qualify for the SPCCC for your family, as well as links to the relevant forms which can be downloaded; click here for more information.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, please contact our askonefamily lo-call helpline on 1890 66 22 12 or by email.

The impact of these changes is likely to be initially most strongly experienced by parents as we reach the end of January as, for many, the first monthly salary of 2014 will be processed at that time. One Family will continue to advocate on this issue. To read our recent press releases concerning it, please click on the clicks below:

Government has hindered not helped One-Parent Families in 2013

Shared Parenting Penalised by Government as Flexibilities Problematic on One Parent Family Tax Credit

Attack on Parents Sharing Parenting After Separation is Unjust, Unfair and Underhand

More attacks on working mothers and shared parenting; Budget 2014 is anti-family and anti-parent

 

 

 

One-Parent Family Payment Income Disregard Change

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Later this week, the Department of Social Protection will be issuing letters to affected One-Parent Family Payment (OFP) recipients informing them that, from 1 January 2014, the OFP scheme’s income disregard will be reduced from its current amount of €110 per week to €90 per week for the duration of 2014.

In Budget 2012, it was announced that there would be a gradual reduction in the amount of earnings from employment that would be ignored (disregarded) when calculating the rate of OFP paid and that this change would come in over a number of years.

In 2012 the amount ignored was €130; in 2013 it is €110; in 2014 it will be €90; and it will decrease further to €75 in 2015 and €60 in 2016.

From 1 January 2014, you can have earnings of €90 without it affecting the rate of payment of OFP and so if your earnings are greater than €90 per week, then your rate of OFP will be changed to take this new rate into account.

It is important to note that if there has been any change in your circumstances which may affect your entitlement to One-Parent Family Payment, including a change in your weekly earnings, then you should notify your local social welfare office so that a review of your entitlement can be carried out, and if you have moved recently and not informed them of your new address yet, it is important to do so.

How might this change affect you? We have included a Q&A below based on commonly occurring situations.

askonefamily Questions:

Q. I have a letter to say that my One-Parent Family Payment will change in 2014 because I am working and earning €150 a week. Do I have to do anything?

A. No, the adjustment to your rate of payment will happen automatically; however if there are any changes in your circumstance such as a change of income then you should contact your local social welfare office to let them know of this.

Q. I earn €110 a week at the moment and still get the full payment for myself and my daughter. Does this change mean I will lose some of my payment next year?

A. Yes, the reduction from €110 to €90 means that you will now be means-tested as having €10 a week. You are only means tested on half of the difference, so for your earnings of €110 as the disregard will be €90 this leave €20 in the difference and you will then be means tested on half of this, which is €10 per week. This will mean a small reduction in your One Parent Family Payment. If your earnings from work are your only additional income you would expect to see a reduction in payment of €2.50 a week.

Q. I am working part time and earning €120 a week. Up until now this has been my only income apart from One-Parent Family Payment but my son’s Dad has got a job and is now going to be paying maintenance of €30 a week.  What should I do?

A. As your income will increase once you start receiving maintenance because this is a change in your circumstances, you will need to let your local social welfare office know.  Up to the first €95.23 of maintenance maybe disregarded if you have rent or housing costs. 

If you would like any additional information about how your circumstances may be affected, please call our askonefamily national helpline on lo-call 1890 662 212 or email support@onefamily.ie.