One Family’s tips on how to make blended families work makes the news
One Family’s tips on how to make blended families work was featured in an article by Sheila Wayman in the Irish Times on Wednesday 2 September. The article featured comment by One Family’s CEO Karen Kiernan on how to make blended families work – to read the article click: Irish Times article:
Meanwhile, our helpline staff have come up with a list of books that parents could find helpful when starting conversations with children about blended and shared families. Diverse families: onefamily.ie/booklist/diver and Blended Families: onefamily.ie/booklist/blend
One Family’s tips on how to make blended families work:
- Never presume just because you as adults are in a good relationship that your children will be overjoyed to meet your new partner’s children;
- Ensure your couple relationship is strong and stable before subjecting children to a blended family. You will need to agree how you both play a role in parenting each other’s children, especially if they are young and you are left in charge at times;
- It must be made very clear to children that new partners are not replacing mum/dad. They should always call the new partner by their first name;
- Children usually choose who they become friends with, so being landed with someone else’s children all of a sudden is not easy and they may not get along. Yet they need to feel at home in each parent’s home;
- Children want to spend time with parents and not always with new blended families, unless you are very lucky. Sharing you may be a challenge;
- If you have no children but are moving in with your new partner and their children, you need to do it in stages. It is a bit like being an uncle/aunt. You need to support the children to have a good relationship with both biological parents and extended family – this comes before your family;
- Couple time is crucial. If you get caught up in childcare and parenting with no time as a couple, you will fall down. You must have a strong relationship, take time to talk and compromise, so you can parent children in the one home and meet their needs;
- Include children in the planning to become a blended family. Include the other parent(s) in this plan too;
- Explain family forms to children – do not presume they get it. Be factual and help them understand about whose mum/dad is whose biologically and otherwise, about step siblings and grandparents etc Help them explain their family form to others and to feel proud of the family form they belong to.
For more parenting tips click here:
