Coalition for YES – Letter to the Editor of the Irish Times

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Dear Sir,

The Irish electorate will be asked to vote in an important referendum on divorce this Friday. As a coalition of civil society organisations we are calling for a yes vote so that we can have a better, more compassionate process for people who need it.

On Friday, people will be asked to approve an amendment to the Constitution to remove the requirement for spouses to live apart for a minimum of four years out of the preceding five when applying for a divorce.  The new proposals would reduce that to two years out of the previous three.  For people who got divorced abroad, a yes vote means they will clarify the law on the recognition of foreign divorces.

By voting yes, we can reduce some of the stress and conflict linked to the divorce process. We will be able to give a couple the time they need to make the decision that is right for them and their children. A shorter divorce process will also be beneficial for children who will have greater clarity about their living situation. The referendum will not change the constitutional requirements that before a divorce can be granted a Court must be satisfied that proper provision has been made for both spouses and their children and that there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation before a Divorce can be granted.

The Constitution is not the right place to deal with complex personal relationships. By voting yes on Friday we can create a more compassionate and supportive divorce process for couples and families in Ireland.

Yours sincerely,

Orla O’Connor, Director, National Women’s Council of Ireland

Liam Herrick, Executive Director, Irish Council for Civil Liberties

Eilis Barry, Chief Executive, FLAC (Free Legal Advice Centres)

Keith Walsh, Lawyers for YES

Karen Kiernan, CEO, One Family

Divorce and the Constitution – Irish Times

Questioning Child

10 Ways to Understanding How Your Child May Feel During Separation

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Whatever the circumstances, parental separation is hard on families and big changes must be made. Keeping their children at the centre of parenting and responding to the thoughts, feelings and questions a child may have, will help parents to help their child.

Research shows that children normally experience one or more of the following reactions to the separation of their parents:

  1. Loyalty conflict: Children often get caught in the middle.
  2. Does Mum or Dad love someone else?: Although Mum or Dad might not love each other, it is important to reassure the child that they love him/her.
  3. I don’t want to come over today: As they get older, children’s interests vary. They may not want to visit a parent and may just want to spend more time with their friends.
  4. Fantasies of responsibility and reconciliation:  Children may feel they are responsible for their parents’ separation. They may dream up plans to get their parents to reconcile.
  5. Why don’t you love Mum or Dad anymore?: It is not uncommon for children to ponder this question. Often children will blame the parent who they believe initiated the separation and view the other parent as a victim.
  6. If you do not come home, I will never speak to you again: The purpose of a statement like this is to make the parent feel guilty so that they will return home.
  7. Anger: Children between the ages of 8-16 years can experience intense anger. They can often be most angry with the parent they blame for separation, but they may express anger only towards the parent they view as the ‘safest’, usually the resident parent.
  8. What should I tell my friends?: If you want your child to share the situation with others, you must be able to do the same. Encourage your child to be honest about the situation.
  9. Why are you separating?: Children are more likely to ask this if they have not been given a clear explanation for the separation.
  10. Worry about the future: The child may worry about the future. This is more likely to occur where there is parental conflict around contact and maintenance. Parents need to listen to their child’s worries and talk honestly and openly with them about any concerns.

One Family’s  Family Communications –  Parenting When Separated course starts in May 2019 please see details here.  One Family also offer a range of services to parents sharing parenting or parenting alone after separation. You can find out about them here. If you need support, information or advice, contact our lo-call askonefamilyhelpline on 1890 66 22 12 / support@onefamily.ie.

askonefamily helpline develops new information resources for parents

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The askonefamily helpline has developed the first in a series of new information resources to help one-parent families

These are the first in a series of new resources the Askonefamily helpline is developing to make information more accessible to parents.

About askonefamily

askonefamily provides information on: social welfare entitlements and issues, family law issues, housing, education, finances, childcare, parenting and community supports. We also offer support for those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.

Call a trained askonefamily team member on 01 662 9212* or email helpline@onefamily.ie.

One Family calls for change to the Parental Leave Act

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(Dublin, Tuesday 15 May) On UN International Day of the Family, One Family, Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, separating and sharing parenting calls on the Government to change the Parental Leave Act to give lone parents the same leave entitlements as two parent families.

One Family CEO Karen Kiernan explained: “While we warmly welcome the Parental Leave Act 2019 we are calling for Minister for Employment Affairs and Social Protection, Regina Doherty, to change the provisions of the Act to give one-parent families the same leave entitlements as two-parent families.

“Our concern is that leave is to be non-transferrable between parents. So, while two-parent families can maximise the amount of time they spend with their babies, those who are parenting alone have only a limited period. We ask that the fourteen weeks of paid parental leave available to parents in a two-parent family is made available to a lone parent. This is in order to provide equal access for the baby to their parent in this critical time.”

Kiernan further comments: “Currently the only reference to transferring leave to an entitled parent in the Bill is where one parent dies, which means that the Scheme is recognising only one type of lone parent thus ignoring others. We call on the Minister to fix this anomaly.  There should be an exception made to the non-transfer rule for lone parents to other designated people and for the sake of their babies we are asking the Minister to make this change.”

Notes:

Read about the EU Work Life Balance Directive – http://www.coface-eu.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/COFACE-Families-Europe-Assessment-on-the-EU-Work-Life-Balance-Directive.pdf

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to those working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-callaskonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, Director of One Family | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information

Noel Sweeney, Communications Manager | t: 01 662 9212 or 085 7241294

Leading national NGOs come together to call for a Yes vote in the upcoming Divorce Referendum

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Leading national NGOs come together to call for a Yes vote in the upcoming Divorce Referendum

Five leading national organisations came together today in a coalition calling for a Yes vote in the upcoming referendum in relation to divorce on Friday 24 May.

FLAC (Free Legal Advice Centres), the Irish Council for Civil Liberties (ICCL), One Family, the National Women’s Council of Ireland (NWCI) and the Lawyers for Yes have all come together to call on voters in Ireland to support a referendum that will deliver a better divorce system for people who need it.

On 24 May, people will be asked to approve an amendment to the Constitution to remove the requirement for spouses to live apart for a minimum of four years out of the preceding five when applying for a divorce.  The new proposals would reduce that to two years out of the previous three. It is also proposed for the vote that foreign divorces are recognised here. There will be one question on the ballot paper and voters can either vote Yes to allow both changes, or No to reject both changes.

Karen Kiernan, CEO of One Family said: ‘We know from supporting thousands of separating parents and families that we need a more humane and compassionate divorce system in Ireland and this referendum is a step towards achieving that.’

Jennifer McCarthy Flynn, Head of Policy of NWCI explained: ‘Nobody marries imagining they are going to need to go through a divorce process. However, circumstances change and some couples will decide that divorce is the best way forward for them and their family. We should be supporting them in order to decrease the stress and conflict involved, not making it unnecessarily difficult.’

Liam Herrick, Executive Director of ICCL said: ‘We have repeatedly seen that our Constitution is not the right place for complex detail relating to family life – we believe that it is more appropriate to remove the wait time for divorce from the Constitution altogether and allow Government legislate in this area.’

Keith Walsh, Lawyers for Yes Campaign explained: ‘It is really important that we continue to take steps towards a complete reform of our divorce and family law system in Ireland to bring it into the 21st century. We still need to see the Family Law legislation published; new specialist child and family  court system as well as a new Children’s and Family Law Courthouse in Hammond Lane built; and appropriate resources for courts to deal with the current volume of work.’

Eilis Barry, Chief Executive of FLAC concluded by stating:

‘The irreconcilable breakdown of a marriagecan cause a great deal of stress both emotionally and financially for families. The current 4 year wait period is an extra unnecessary barrier to accessing a legal remedy for these families. This referendum is a chance to improve the process for those in an already difficult situation.

/ENDS

Contact:

Caroline Smith, FLAC Media and Communications Officer    01-887 3600 / 0862618543 Email: caroline.smith@flac.ie

Noel Sweeney, One Family Communications Manager          016629212 | 085-7241294 Email: nsweeney@onefamily.ie

Sinéad Nolan, ICCL Public Engagement and Communications Officer   0874157162 Email: sinead.nolan@iccl.ie

Spokespersons Contact:

  • Eilis Barry, FLAC Chief Executive – 0877542780
  • Liam Herrick, ICCL Executive Director – 0872351374
  • Karen Kiernan, CEO of One Family – 0868509191
  • Keith Walsh, Solicitor, Lawyers for Yes Campaign – 01 455 4723  keith@kwsols.ie
  • To contact a spokesperson for the National Women’s Council of Ireland (NWCI),

Silke Paasche, Head of Communications, NWCI, Tel. 085 858 9104

Links to organisations websites.