Playtime with their parent is very important to children. Making time to sit down on the floor to play together is one of the best things you can do to support their development and your relationship with them. Some parents find it very difficult to value just sitting and playing. Sometimes a parent might even feel a bit awkward at first – after all, it’s probably been a long time since we ourselves did this – but when you make yourself just do it, you will soon experience the immense enjoyment it can bring to both you and your child. Play is your child’s work so never underestimate its importance in their young lives.
Read on for this week’s parenting tips in our ’10 Ways to’ series which explores how parents can create and develop quality playtime with their child.
- Children are wonderful. Simply sit and watch them play and engage with materials. Enjoy how clever and curious they are.
- Smile with them when they discover something new and learn how to make things work for the first time. Admire how they can climb on the furniture, using their strength and determination. What wonderful qualities for your child to have.
- Talk with them and engage with them. Often we are so busy doing we don’t notice who our children are or actively listen to what they are saying.
- Why not challenge yourself to sit on the floor with your child for 20 minutes and simply see what comes of it. Try it over the next few days.
- Try not to sit down to play with an agenda in mind. Allow your child take the lead and to be in charge of the play time. Comment on what you see them actually do, e.g. “I can see you are putting the blue block into the teapot, and then pouring the tea out.” Don’t say what you think, just what you see.
- Wait for your child to invite you into the game, and then do what they tell you to do. It is their game so respect this space and allow them be in control of life during play time. This is when they process what is happening in the big world every day for them. Watch and learn! And remember that you can allow yourself to have fun!
- Speak positively and try to let go of any naughties during this time. Later think about what went well and how you can support your child with what they find challenging. Think about how you can extend their play. Can you add real water to the tea set, bathe the doll, make paper aeroplanes and hang them up? What can you do and offer to your child to extend the play they enjoy. By doing this, you are supporting your child’s learning.
- Sometimes as parents we might have concerns about what we don’t like in our children, what we might see as their negative traits. But, within reason, these are perhaps not negative traits. Perhaps our own experiences have influenced us to think this way. Our role as parents is to support children to grow and achieve, helping them use their skills and talents to their advantage as they develop. Seeing their traits as positive and helping your child to see them as positive too is part of this. For example, what if your child is not cheeky, but strong willed? What can they achieve if they learn to use this skill well? They could be a future leader. Maybe your child is not shy or timid, but thoughtful and considerate of others. How can they best use this valuable trait?
- Making time for play with your child also helps you to identify what is missing from your child’s toy box that would support your child’s play and learning.
- Take on the challenge and you will never go back to just leaving children to play. Of course, at times it is important for children to play on their own or only with other children. They need their space from us too. But remember, making just 20 minutes to play with your child each day will keep you very closely connected to your child and enhance your current and future relationship.
LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on the topic of play on Monday 24 November from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your question. Or why not try these tips beforehand and let Geraldine know on Monday how it went?
Next you might like to read 10 Ways to Make Play Dates Positive or 10 Ways to Make the Most of the Playground.
This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming soon: 10 Ways to Nurture Your Role as a Stepparent and 10 Ways to Make Christmas Stress Free.
Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and advice on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.
Today is the 25th Anniversary of the adoption of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. The Convention was adopted on 20 November 1989 and to date has been ratified by 194 countries making it the most widely ratified international human rights treaty.
Ireland signed up in 1992 and is assessed periodically by the UN on implementation progress when the State submits a report to the UN Committee on the Rights of the Child. The Children’s Rights Alliance also submits an independent report on behalf of non-governmental organisations. You can read its most recent report here.
The Convention details 41 different types of right which together form a set of integrated rights, usually grouped within the four categories of survival, development, protection and participation. Its adoption marked the first time that children were explicitly recognised as having specific rights.
A summary of the rights under the Convention on the Rights of the Child can be read here and a child-friendly language version is available here.
Press Release
Small Step to Make Work Pay:
One-Parent Family Payment and Income Disregard
(Dublin, Wednesday 5 November 2014) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone and sharing parenting – welcomes Tánaiste Joan Burton’s announcement that she will retain the level of the income disregard at €90 for those parents in work and in receipt of the One-Parent Family Payment (OFP), responding positively to One Family’s vociferous calls for its retention following a series of cuts impacting lone parents on social welfare in Budget 2012.
Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, states: “This is a modest investment in poor working parents, helping to make work pay and helping to reduce child poverty. This responsive action by the Tánaiste recognises that many families require two salaries to meet expensive childcare and accommodation costs, something which a family on one income finds extremely difficult to do.”
He continues, “This small step can have a big impact as it will allow parents to stay in part-time work thus keeping their connection with the labour market and making it more likely that s/he will be able to progress to full-time employment when family life permits. We have seen parents have to leave part-time work since the income disregard was cut as work just didn’t pay for them anymore. Keeping the income disregard at this modest level will assist government policy of activating OFP recipients into the labour market.”
Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO explains, “Prior to Budget 2012, 60% of those on the OFP were in work and today that has halved to around 33%. This is a reality which One Family does not want to see perpetuated. To maintain the income disregard at the €90 level will cost €8.3m in 2015 and approximately €15m in 2016 which is a small sum given what has been cut from individual one-parent families’ incomes over the past few years.
She continues, “Income disregards offer an immediate incentive and instant return for parents. However, this is just the first step in economic and social policy working together. More needs to be done to deliver high quality employment, affordable part-time education and appropriate training for those parenting alone so they can move out of consistent poverty. We look forward to working with the Department and the Tánaiste to ensure that the 39,000 parents coming off the OFP in July 2015 have access to quality information, advice, supports and opportunities tailored to their needs so that government policy will be a success instead of a failure.”
Note on Income Disregard
Parents can work and receive the One-Parent Family Payment. The amount of this payment depends on their weekly means. Currently the first €90 of parents gross weekly earnings is not taken into account (or disregarded). This means that parents can earn up to €90 per week and qualify for the full One-Parent Family Payment. Half the remainder of a parent’s gross earnings up to €425 per week is assessed as means. If parents earn between €90 and €425 per week they may qualify for a reduced payment. SW 19 Social Welfare Rates of Payment booklet shows the amount of OPF payable with a parent’s means. Social insurance contributions, superannuation/PRSA contributions and trade union subscriptions are not taken into account in the assessment of earnings. However, gross earnings must be below €425 before any deductions are allowed.
/Ends.
About One Family
One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 62 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.
Available for Interview
Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy and Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 0622023
Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191
Every month One Family invites a response to our short, 3 question survey. Our survey for September 2014 was in relation to the proposed water charges due to commence, at the time of writing, in January 2015. The aim of the survey was to find out how those parenting alone or sharing parenting feel about the charges and how they have been implemented to date.
A selection of survey responses include:
“I often skip dinner to ensure my son will have a dinner the next day. I am sick of counting slices of bread or watching in envy when someone gets to buy a newspaper. No idea where I am meant to find the money for another bill.”
“I live in an apartment and I still do not know how much I’ll have to pay. I can’t even budget or anticipate. My daughter spends 2 nights with her dad so don’t know if this will be taken into account or not. What if he was first with sending the pack to Irish Water and he claimed the allowance first?”
“I am a lone parent to 5 year old twin boys, stuck on rent allowance. I have a disability and I’ve recently had my heating cut off because I couldn’t afford the bill and now they want €220 to switch it back on which I can’t afford . Water charges will cripple this household altogether.”
“I am a single father with two young kids living with me nearly 50% of the time. I pay maintenance on top of this. I support them fully for 50% of the time and get no child benefit. The government have already taken a tax credit from me. This is an extra insult to single fathers like me. It is almost as if Fine Gael is deliberately making it too financially difficult for single fathers to co-parent.”
“I will have to reconsider working. I am a lone parent, I earn €450 per week. €110 a week rent, €120 a week childcare, other bills including electricity, broadband, mobile, heating, car expenses etc total €150. I have nothing left over and the water charges are the last straw for me. My job, which I love, may need to take a back seat.”
You can read the full Water Charges survey results here. Take this month’s survey on Reaction to Budget 2015 here, or view all of our monthly survey results.