Smiling boy

10 Ways to Support Your Child’s Sex Education

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In this week’s ’10 Ways to’, our series of weekly parenting tips, we look at how to support your child’s sex education.

Your role as a parent in your child’s education about relationships and sex is very important. Talking with your child about sex can be a fearful task for many parents but sex education is most effective when built up gradually over the years.

Toddlers may express curiosity but will usually be content with simple answers. As your child gets older, and starts school, their questions may become more complex. From the start, ensure honest, open communication.  Don’t ignore the subject, give inaccurate answers or brush off their questions – you don’t want your child to grow up being confused or embarrassed about sex and relationships.

Think about your views on sex and what matters to you in your relationships and family life. Working out your own values and morals will help you to give your child clear consistent messages about sex and relationships throughout childhood.

These ten tips should offer some helpful guidance:

  1. The best person to talk with children about sex and sexuality is you, the parent whom they trust; they need to know this is a normal part of life.
  2. Sexuality and relationships education should offer children the opportunity to explore and define their own values.
  3. By age five children should be aware of touch and their body. They will be starting to understand about sexuality and should understand the correct names for body parts.
  4. By age seven children will be starting to understand about reproduction in animals and in humans, and may be asking questions about where babies come from.  They will also start to become aware of different types of sexuality.
  5. By the age of 12 years children will be aware of how their own bodies are changing, about sex and about contraception.
  6. By this age, they should be supported to understand what a respectful relationship is and how to recognise and protect themselves from abusive relationships.
  7. Support your child to have a healthy view of sex; just by talking with them does not mean they are going to have sex.
  8. By secondary school they will have become very exposed to sex. Keep the conversation open and be ready to hear when they want more information about contraception. Contraception is not about sex – it is about taking responsibility; all parents need to support their children to be responsible for their actions.
  9. Clear, honest, open communication with children about human sexuality and contraception, combined with fostering good self-esteem, is central to the prevention of early pregnancy.
  10. Be brave; children are curious, very factual and love information. Remember how you learnt about sex and sexuality, was it the way you would wish for your child? It’s simply another conversation so take the leap and start it with your child today.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Develop Coping Skills in Your Family; 10 Ways to Encourage Healthy Eating; and 10 Ways to Make the Most of the Playground.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie. Find out more about our parenting skills programmes here.

 

Image credit: Pixabay

Sinéad Gibney, One Family Board Member

One Family Board Member Sinéad Gibney Appointed as Director of IHREC

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The board, staff and members of One Family congratulate our board member Sinéad Gibney on the announcement today of her appointment as Director of The Irish Human Rights and Equality Commission (IHREC). The commission was formed following the merger of the Equality Authority and the Irish Human Rights Commission to promote human rights and equal status in society.

Sinéad has served as a dedicated member of One Family’s board for the past two years. As a lone parent who had previously availed of the services of One Family, she brought a wealth of personal experience to the role, aligned with her passion for social justice and equality, commitment and achievement. She has been Head of Social Action for Google for six years, managing all of Google Ireland’s philanthropy portfolio including its flagship programme, Age Engage. Sinéad holds a BA in History from the University of Ulster, an MSc in IT and Education from Trinity College, a postgraduate cert from IADT in Cyberpsychology and most recently an MSc in Equality Studies from UCD.

Sinéad starts her new role on 20 October 2014. While she will be resigning from the board of One Family, we look forward to a continuing productive relationship. We wish her and the IHREC every success.

The press release issued by the IHREC can be read here.

 

Babysitter and Baby

10 Ways to Find the Best Babysitter for Your Family

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Finding a babysitter you can trust and whom your child loves can seem like a daunting task, especially for parents who may not have family or close friends to ask or who live nearby. There are a number of online sites available now to help but where possible, a reference from someone known to us is still usually the best option so ask family, friends, neighbours and other parents at crèche, school or work. In this week’s instalment of our tips for parents series, we explore ways to find and keep a babysitter.

  1. Advertise by word of mouth and in your local supermarket.  Involve your child in the process, explain to them why you need a sitter and how it will be great for all members of the family.  Help them to explore what they would want from a sitter. Children from the age of 2 years old and upwards are capable of this.
  2. Ensure that the person you engage is over 16 years old. While there is no legal rule around this, you need to do everything possible to be sure that you are recruiting someone who will be experienced enough to be responsible and capable in many situations.
  3. Invite the person over to your home for a play date. Get to know them a little and see how comfortable you and your children are with the sitter.
  4. If you decide to go ahead, it is advisable to meet their parent if they are under 18 years old. You should ensure their parent is on board with their teen having this role and that they feel s/he is capable of such responsibilities.
  5. Agree the babysitting fee in advance and also agree if you will collect the sitter and/or drop them home. Always be aware of how a young sitter travels home if you are returning from a late night out. If they are under 18, you have a level of responsibility for the babysitter.
  6. Leave snacks for the children and sitter, and anticipate anything they may need while you are out. Give them a list of contact numbers. Talk with them in advance about what is expected of them, what rooms they can use, and how to manage any behavioural issues that may arise when you’re not present.
  7. Ensure your children understand that the babysitter is in charge, will manage behaviour while you’re out as you have outlined, and will also report any issues to you. Also ensure that your child understands to let you know if they have any issues with the sitter.
  8. Talk with the sitter about first aid, who to contact for emergencies, and if your child has any health or nightmares issues. Talk with them about toileting your child, nappy changing and feeding. Many teens will have no idea of how to carry out these tasks and may not have younger siblings so never assume that they know what to do or how to do it.
  9. Establish rules and boundaries with the babysitter about if their friends and boy/girlfriends can call over, the use of phones while sitting, and if your children’s friends can call over.
  10. Be reasonable about the length of time you leave the sitter with your child and the time you are coming home. The babysitter may need to know exactly what time to expect you so their parents can know what time to expect them home. A babysitter is not usually a child minder or childcare professional, so the level of responsibility assumed is less and it should be remembered they are usually capable of offering less.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Support Your Child’s Sex Education; 10 Ways to Encourage Healthy Eating; and 10 Ways to Make the Most of the Playground.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie. Find out more about our parenting programmes here.

 

 

Image Credit: Free Photos on Morguefile.com

Featured Service | Young People in Care

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Every month a member of the One Family services team explains more about the particular supports they offer. This month, Counselling Support Worker Lisa Maguire writes about One Family supports available to young people in care.

PregnancyParentingSupportsYPIC01This service is for young people who are pregnant or already parenting and who are in care or have a care history. A range of emotional and practical supports are available through pregnancy and into parenthood. Young people can self-refer to the service. Because the service is client-led, interventions are tailored to meet their stated needs. Such ‘interventions’ might include assistance with accessing entitlements; one-to-one parenting sessions; advocating on behalf of clients to relevant authorities, and the provision of ‘listening ear’ support. This service works closely with One Family’s unplanned pregnancy counselling service too.

Young people with a care history might not have any dependable adults in their lives to whom they can turn for support, information and guidance. Our service offers these supports. Becoming a parent, especially for a young person, involves many changes and often many challenges; accessing support during the transition to parenthood can increase a sense of ‘being prepared’ and can reduce associated stress.

My interest in justice and equality and in empowering those most marginalised in our society led me to complete a degree in Social Studies in Social Care in 2003. Since then I’ve worked in a number of different sectors including the youth and residential care sector, with people who are homeless, and in the field of mental health.

One Family’s Young People in Care service gives me the opportunity to work in a client-centred service where clients develop a sense of their strengths and capabilities.

This is a free service which can be contacted directly by young people who can call or text me on 086 079 3072 or email me to find out more about it or to book an appointment. We also take referrals, and professionals working with young people can call me on 01 662 9212.

 

Happy child

10 Ways to Improve Your Child’s Self Esteem

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Children are a wonderful gift, but they are very delicate and it is often easy for them to feel unappreciated or ignored. As parents, it is very important to make sure our children are growing up happy and confident, and to do that we must make sure they feel special, appreciated, and loved. By recognising their accomplishments and encouraging them to be proud of themselves, we can help them to develop confidence and a sense of achievement that will last them the rest of their lives. In this week’s edition of parenting tips, we highlight 10 ways to improve your child’s self esteem.

1. Children who have lots of positive experiences and positive things said to them will have healthy levels of self esteem, as opposed to children who have many negative experiences growing up.

2. Children need to be recognised and admired. They are important to us and important in the world. Tell them this!

3. Praise children for the efforts they make. The focus should not be on the end result. Children remember praise and it has long-lasting effects.

4. Compliment children on their appearance, how they are doing at school, with friends and with hobbies. Every child is special and should know this.

5. Notice your children’s strengths and tell them what they are. Help them understand how to use those strengths well.

6. Show your child you are so proud of them and the effort they make – to play, to share, to eat dinner etc.

7. Have special time with your child each day and let them know they are top of your list. The feeling of self worth will be enormous.

8. Encourage children to be proud of their own achievements.

9. Encourage children to be open about what strengths they have and also that we all can’t be good at everything. Help them accept they are human, and it is normal to have strengths and weaknesses.

10. Be respectful of children. Talk with them, not at them. Listen to them and hear what they are trying to say. Understand their behaviours and why they exist rather than trying to just fix them. Admire their qualities, even those which are challenging can be used in positive ways throughout life. Accept your child for who they are and tell them everyday how much you love and admire them.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Support Your Child’s Sex Education; 10 Ways to Survive Sleepless Nights; 10 Ways to Encourage Healthy Eating.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Image credit: Pixabay