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10 Ways to Respect Differences

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Everyone is different, and it is important to be sensitive to that fact. Children look up to their parents and will imitate their behaviour, so the way you act towards others who are different can have a profound impact on them. By making sure you are respectful to everyone, you can ensure your children will do the same. In this week of our parenting tips series, we have 10 ways to respect the differences between yourself and others.

1. Be courteous and friendly to others.  You can help your child respect others by the way you greet people, talk with them, and talk about them afterwards. Children learn from our example.

2. Make a family book about similarities and differences:  You and your child could work together to make a book about the people in your family.

3. Value difference. Arrange a small get-together with one or two families. Each could make a snack that may be different or new to the others, possibly an ethnic food or one that is special in other ways for their family.

4. Meet new friends.  You may want to tell your child about a time when you met someone who seemed different at first but as you got to know the person, you came to appreciate him or her.

5. Use empathy: Can your child remember coming into a group and feeling ignored or left out? Talking about your child’s feelings can help your child develop empathy and begin to see things from another person’s point of view.

6. We believe that we are all special people.

7. Treat others kindly even if they are different.

8. We show we are listening by what we say.

9. We are concerned about each other’s feelings.

10. Use books, the internet and society to introduce your child to difference and in particular all types of families and how they are all unique and special – just like ours.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Prepare Your Child for Preschool; 10 Ways to Improve Your Child’s Self Esteem; 10 Ways to Encourage Healthy Eating.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on 0818 66 22 12 or emailsupport@onefamily.ie.

 

Image Credit: Pixabay

Mortar Board

Applications Open for New Futures

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New Futures :: New Confidence :: New Opportunities

Are you parenting on your own or sharing parenting? Do you want to get back into employment or education but struggle with where and how to start? Take time to discover who you are and what you want in life by joining One Family’s New Futures programme. Enhance yourself through confidence building, developing communication skills, and establishing life goals. Your future doesn’t have to be unknown. You can further your education or prepare yourself for employment with plenty of help along the way.

New Futures is a free 16 weeks of training with support programme, accredited at FETAC Level 4 /5, which takes place on two mornings per week in Dublin 2. One Family provides free childcare for participants, one to one mentoring throughout the programme, and additional supports and services where needed.

Join the New Futures programme and:

  • Discover what jobs or courses suit you
  • Become more confident
  • Get support and friendship from parents in a similar situation as you
  • Learn how to balance work and family life

As part of the New Futures programme, the following are available:

  • Free childcare places in One Family’s crèche
  • One to one support
  • Information, counselling and parenting support

Quotes from previous New Futures graduates

“Suddenly, with the support of One Family, all the barriers that restricted me from following my dream simply fell away. Mental barriers, practical barriers and financial barriers all disappeared. I began my full time degree course in dance last September.” – Stephanie

“The New Futures course changed everything in my life. It gave me the confidence I wanted and my self-esteem is very high again. I learned how to change my way of thinking and I think positively now.” – Ava

“I finally have some clarity about my possible future and know if I stay motivated I can achieve my goals” – PJ

“I grew up in an area that was badly affected by drugs and I’ve always had an interest in helping families that were affected by drugs. However I never thought I could make a career out of it. On the New Futures course I realised that I had a passion for this work and that it was possible to do further study into the area. I am now studying for my certificate in Maynooth College.” – Samantha

Find out more

Are you interested?  If you would like more information, email Valerie or call 01 662 9212. One of our New Futures programme mentors will get in touch to arrange an initial meeting to help you decide if New Futures is the right choice for you.

Thumbs up

10 Ways to Be Assertive

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Assertiveness is a wonderful quality to have, and as long as you know how to use it properly it can be help you be direct and clear in your communication with others. In order to be successful with communication, there are several guidelines we can all follow to ensure our point is being made in an assertive way.  In this week’s edition of our ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, we look at 10 keys to being assertive.

  1. Assertiveness is an approach that helps you to be direct, honest and respectful in expressing your feelings, wants, needs and opinions.
  2. You should always be respectful of others and yourself when being assertive.
  3. Being assertive should not mean being aggressive.
  4. Use clear and direct communication instead of unclear or indirect communication.
  5. Be more confident about how you say things and how you get your message across.
  6. Assertiveness will help your children learn how to be assertive and help a family to be positive and have shared values.
  7. Remember you are making requests not demands. Expect yes and no answers.
  8. Be ready to negotiate and compromise with others, including children.
  9. Be very specific with children in particular about what you need them to do. ‘I need you to tidy your room’ is too vague. Indicate certain areas of the room: ‘I need you to tidy your dolls today’ and explain what that should look like.
  10. Learn to say no and explain why it is a ‘No.’ The ‘No’ is about you safeguarding yourself as opposed to blocking another person: ‘No, you cannot walk alone to the shops, I need you to be safe and I need to hold your hand to ensure this.’

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is compiled by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Tips for Respecting Difference; 10 Tips on Preparing Your Child for Preschool; 10 Tips on Improving Your Child’s Self Esteem

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or emailsupport@onefamily.ie.

 

Picture credit: Pixabay

New Compulsory Registration of Father’s Names on Birth Certificates

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Press Release

Compulsory registration of birth certificates will require

General Register Office to be highly trained 

One Family – Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting – today welcomed the publication of the Civil Registration (Amendment) Bill 2014 whilst also warning about the problems that will arise in some difficult cases requiring sensitivity and transparency from the country’s registrars.

The new Civil Registration Bill has some far reaching impacts for children and parents in one-parent and diverse families. The main change is that it will now be compulsory for a father’s name to be provided by a new mother and for the father to register themselves on the birth certificate. Exceptions can be made to this where the father’s identity or whereabouts are unknown by the mother or where she can furnish proof that it would not be in the best interests of the safety of the child to contact the father and register his name.

Karen Kiernan, CEO of One Family said: “It is very much in the interest of the vast majority of children to know and have a legal and social relationship with both of their parents and it relatively rare that father’s names are not on birth certs – approximately 6% of all certificates. However there are exceptional circumstances where it may not be safe for a father to be identified and contacted and the burden of proof will need to be carefully considered so that it is not too onerous for those women who have been subjected to rape, incest or violence.”

Kiernan continued: “The General Register Office personnel will need to configure their offices so that confidential and highly sensitive information can be shared by parents. They will require expert training and support to deal with the issues that may arise and a transparent system of how the registrar accepts or rejects evidence on exceptional circumstances. It would be extremely helpful if this new Bill can be accompanied by an information campaign targeting parents not married to each other so they have clarity on what joint birth registration means for them and their children. One Family is glad to see that the Minister has progressed from the argument that this is needed to save social welfare expenses to seeing that this is an important issue for children.”

The Bill can be read here.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to those working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes the Family Day Festival, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today, with 10,000 people attending in 2013 (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Girl in sun

10 Ways to Keep Your Children Safe in the Sun

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Summer is here, and everyone loves a nice day outside in the sunshine. While summer can be full of fun, it is not without risk: the sun, the heat, bugs and pools can be dangerous to your child, so make sure you know how to look out for them while still having a good time this summer. As part of our weekly series of parenting tips, here are 10 tips for keeping your children safe in the sun.

  1. Dress children in layers of light clothes, taking off one layer at a time. Babies can overheat very quickly, so dress them in light cottons this time of year.
  2. Always apply sun cream. Cover children from head to toe before dressing them and top up throughout the day.
  3. Insect repellent can be very useful if children are in the gardens a lot.
  4. Always get children to wear sunhats.
  5. Sunglasses and shades on babies’ buggies are very important.
  6. Supervise paddling pools every minute children are around them. Never leave the water in them and let children out to play alone.
  7. Keep babies out of the direct sun at all times and keep young children indoors in the high temperatures.
  8. Encourage children to drink plenty and don’t worry so much about how much they eat, in warm weather their appetites will change.
  9. Children can be a little more challenging in warm weather. Be patient with them.
  10. When taking babies for walks in buggies, be aware of how hot they might be and be very aware of the sun shining on them. Even in the evening time the sun can still be very strong.

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is compiled by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Tips on Being Assertive; 10 Tips  for Respecting Difference; and 10 Tips on Preparing Your Child for Preschool

If you would like support, information or advice in relation to the topic above, contact our lo-call askonefamily helpline on 1890 66 22 12 / support@onefamily.ie.

Image Credit: Pixabay

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Ireland Votes No to Narrow Definition of the Family at UN Human Rights Council

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One Family is disappointed about the narrow definition of family contained in Resolution A/HRC/26/L.20/Rev.1 that was passed at the UN recently, especially in this year of the 20th anniversary of International Year of the Family, but welcomes that Ireland voted NO.  Previous UN resolutions on the family include language, agreed by all States, that recognised that “various forms of the family exist”.

At the 38th Meeting, 26th Regular Session of the Human Rights Council, Ambassador Patricia O’Brien – Ireland’s Permanent Representative to the United Nations and other International Organisations at Geneva – said: “Families can form an important framework for the promotion of human rights, particularly of family members themselves. … for policies to be successful they should also be inclusive. If family is a living dynamic entity and can take many forms, we believe that we must all recognise this diversity, and indeed we have done so consistently over many years in many UN resolutions which recognise that in different cultural, political and social systems various forms of the family exist. We regret that the Resolution before us today fails to take account of the various forms of families which are a vital part of all of our society. For these reasons we will vote no.”

A video clip of the Ambassador’s presentation can be viewed here (scroll to no. 18 on the right). The results of the vote were: ADOPTED (26 YES / 14 NO / 06 ABSTENTIONS).

Organisations including Eurochild, of which One Family is a member, issued this statement:

Discussion of “protection of the family” at Human Rights Council must reflect diversity and focus on human rights

Our organizations, representing a wide range of civil society from all regions of the world, urge the UN Human Rights Council to ensure the Panel discussion entitled “protection of the family” scheduled to take place in September reflects the diversity of family forms and includes a focus on the promotion and protection of human rights of individuals within the family unit.

The decision to hold the Panel came in a resolution passed on 26 June 2014, as a result of the deeply flawed “protection of the family” initiative led by Egypt and other States at the UN Human Rights Council … Click to continue reading the Statement in full.

 

 

 

 

Shortfalls for Children of Separated Parents in Report on Draft Children & Family Relationships Bill

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Press Release

Shortfalls for Children of Separated Parents in

Justice Committee Report on Draft

Children & Family Relationships Bill 

www.onefamily.ie

(Dublin, Wednesday 9 July 2014) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families and parents sharing parenting – welcomes the publication of the report from the Justice Committee on the Children & Family Relationships Bill 2014 tomorrow. With over 40 years campaigning for legal recognition and support for the wide diversity of families that children in Ireland live in, One Family believes that this Bill is long overdue. The focus now should be to ensure that it is passed as quickly as possible to meet the urgent needs of children and parents though it is disappointing to note that some important issues such as ancillary reports to courts and child safety were not highlighted in the report.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO comments: “While this Bill is progress, it is disheartening that the Justice Report contains no mention of the need for ancillary services to the family law courts, especially Child Contact Centres which are necessary to ensure safety of children in contentious custody disputes. One Family published an evaluation of its pilot Child Contact Centre scheme in March this year and highlighted this need at the Committee hearing on 9 April. The Courts do not yet have access to professionally conducted family assessments in order to make evidence-based, child-centred decisions that will be safe, enforceable and fair. This has yet to be addressed for the safety of children.”

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, comments: “This report is a missed opportunity in a number of respects.  Government places ever greater emphasis on the importance of children having meaningful relationships with both their parents yet the report fails to explore ways to mainstream services to support this in the face of family separation, especially for low-income families. When parents separate, benefits and allowances attach wholly to one parent or the other, with often the non-resident parent – most usually the father – becoming ‘invisible’ other than as a source of income.  The report is not addressing this imbalance which has huge consequences for separated parents and their well-being, and that of their children.”

The Children & Family Relationships Bill will need to acknowledge the need for greater cooperation of services aimed at building broad local partnerships. It should result in quality, professional supports to cover the wide range of needs of families during separation and after, and when accessing the family law courts. It should ensure that legislators are equipped to make evidence-based decisions with children’s needs at the centre of these decisions.

Otherwise, while a step in the right direction, additional costs will be incurred to the State down the line while the Bill fails to fully deliver for children of separated families.

One Family’s Child Contact Centres Key Learnings can be read here: https://www.onefamily.ie/wp-content/uploads/One-Family_Child-Contact-Centre_Key-Learnings.pdf

The Executive Summary of the Evaluation can be read here: https://www.onefamily.ie/wp-content/uploads/Executive-Summary-December-2013.pdf

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to those working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

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10 Ways to Support a Child who is Bullying

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There are often complex reasons behind why a child is bullying. A child who is bullying usually has some unmet needs at home or at school. They may be confused about why they’re behaving the way they are.  Some children who bully may be aware of the harm their behaviour is causing but feel powerless to change it, while others may not have any awareness or consideration of how their behaviour affects others. It is nesecessary for a parent/guardian to spend time talking with the child in a calm, open and honest way to get to understand the reasons behind their bullying behaviour. They must be supported also to understand the effects of their actions and that bullying is never acceptable. As part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, here are 10 ways to support a child who is bullying.

  1. Punishment is not the answer to dealing with a child who is bullying. They need support and encouragement to understand what is happening for them and most often they need change to start within the family and for parents to be honest about how they are parenting.
  2. Ask yourself why your child needs to be a bully. What needs are being met by bullying behaviour? How can these needs to be met in a more positive way?
  3. Is your child a bully in the home or just in school or vice versa? Why might this be the case? Children need space to have their voice heard in the home and to have choices and some level of control over what is happening for them in their family. If a child has no voice in the home, they will often need to find a space where they do. This can lead to them needing to take control in situations where they can. We all have a need for control at some level.
  4. Explore how you are parenting your child. Are they involved in decisions in the home, what is your style of parenting? How assertive are you in having your needs met?
  5. Explore what type of communication takes place in the home and what type of boundaries are set. We all have needs and it is important to explore how people look for needs to be met within your family unit.
  6. Talk with your child if you feel they are bullying. Be open to it, they are doing it for a reason and usually have some unmet needs. Explore with them what is missing for them. How are they feeling about themselves in school and in the home? Help them to understand how bullying is harmful and the effects it can have on others. Be accepting of what they say even though you may not always like it.
  7. Role model for your child. Be respectful of them. Help them have their needs met in an appropriate way. Make requests of them instead of demands.
  8. Use positive attention to support their positive behaviours. There will be many. Try not to focus solely on areas of challenging behaviour. If they have challenges, how are they being created for them?
  9. Support your child to explore how they feel and how they can express anger, resentment, jealousy and other emotions without hurting others.
  10. Get extra support for your child if necessary. Communicate with the school. Play and art therapy can really support a child to find their voice and express what is happening for them in life. Children have stresses and pressures also. Don’t presume that because they are a child, life is great.

You might also wish to read 10 Ways to Support a Child who is Being Bullied.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Develop Coping Skills in Your Family; 10 Ways to Respect Difference; and 10 Ways to Build Assertiveness.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or emailsupport@onefamily.ie.

 

Image Credit: Pixabay

A July of Fear and Insecurity for over 9,000 Lone Parents

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Press Release

A July of Fear and Insecurity for over 9,000 Lone Parents

One Family will state at the pre-budget forum that Department of Social Protection has put lone parent families in the frontline of austerity and the back of the queue for the recover. 

www.onefamily.ie

(Dublin, Thursday 3 July 2014) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families – is participating  in Department of Social Protection’s pre-budget forum tomorrow, where One Family’s Stuart Duffin and a lone parent member of One Family’s Budget Panel will call for joined up thinking and security. The whole of Government must enable lone parents to create better futures rather than implementing further complicated systems that result in continued entrapment in poverty for families already on the edge, such as those being implemented today with changes to the One-Parent Family Payment.

“If you looked at me you’d never think I have only €16 to my name. I wear a suit to work in a very well-known company, my son is in a good crèche, I live in a 3 bedroom house (because it’s €100k in negative equity so I can’t afford to sell it). And here I am, without money for food.”

– Lone parent quoted in One Family’s Pre-Budget Submission 2015

58% of lone parents in Ireland are working, often in low paid part-time employment. Some working lone parents now face a barbaric income reduction of up to €200 per month.  The changes – first announced in Budget 2012 – are causing great confusion and stress to lone parents.  These men and women are not asking for hand-outs but to be supported as they strive towards bettering their children’s futures. The Department of Social Protection has put one-parent families in the frontline of austerity and the back of the queue for recovery due to the lack of development of joined up policies and supports. These cuts without supports such as out of school care, access to part-time education and less earned income have resulted in what feels like a sustained attack on one-parent families.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, comments: “Food banks symbolise the insecurity facing so many.  More needs to be done to understand and tackle the reasons why families have to access free food to live. We need a new approach that prioritises secure futures for one-parent families and that will reduce child poverty. Lone parents want and are keen to work yet the short-sighted nature of social welfare measurements firmly put one-parent families in deeper and deeper pits of poverty.”

The Pre-Budget Forum on Friday will be hosted by Minister Joan Burton. Its purpose is to provide organisations including One Family to input into the Budget process and to discuss their Pre-Budget Submissions with the Minister and senior officials of the Department.

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy and Programmes, comments: “On Friday we will highlight that this is a chance to move on from attacking the victims of poverty to addressing its causes – such as the lack of decently paid jobs, expensive housing and unaffordable childcare that have left many lone parents doing too much of the heavy lifting out of poverty. The ridiculous reduction in the Income Disregard combined with the mediaeval threshold nature of FIS and its annual review disincentive the ability to work. One-parent families are consistently those most at risk of or living in poverty in Ireland. Now is the time for some real vision and ambition in tackling the root causes of family poverty by investing in lone parents and making work pay. We will also voice our 10 Solutions – ten practical solutions that Government could implement at no or low-cost yet which would result in real progression for one-parent families – which form the basis of our Pre-Budget Submission.”

Simple actions will deliver investment in one-parent families:

  1. Reform the Income Disregard into a Tax credit paid into the pay packet,
  2. Deliver free part-time education,
  3. Invest in the economic benefits of Out of School Childcare and Recreations (OSCAR).

One Family is hearing from lone parents to its askonefamily helpline and through our monthly surveys and Facebook page that these changes will make it almost impossible for many of those who are already working to sustain their employment. The reality is that these changes could mean an increase of over 55,000 more people onto the live register over the next 3 years as lone parents are transitioned to Job Seekers Allowance without adequate Government supports such as the long-promised affordable, local, quality childcare. Recipients of the OFP are excluded from schemes like Jobs Plus so there is, in effect, also a disincentive in place for employers to employ them.

One Family’s Pre-Budget Submission can be read here: https://www.onefamily.ie/wp-content/uploads/One-Family-2015-Pre-Budget-Submission_June-2014.pdf

More information about One Family’s 10 Solutions can be read here: https://www.onefamily.ie/policy-campaigns/one-family-campaigns/ten-solutions-for-smarter-futures/

Parents affected by the changes can contact askonefamily lo-call helpline for advice and support on 1890 66 22 12 or by emailing support@onefamily.ie

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to those working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511