School tours can be a time of great excitement for many children and one of dread for many parents. The cost may be one issue, but especially for those with younger children it may be the first time you have allowed anyone take your child on a day out. It is ok to feel anxious about placing your trust in the childcare team to take good care of your little ones. Managing your own anxieties is the key to supporting your child to go on these trips with ease.

1. Don’t panic.
2. Children are very sensitive to our tone of voice, even if we are saying something positive; if our tone is nervous our children will pick up on it.
3. Talk with the school to check out the details of the trip. Where they are going? What bus is taking them? Does it have seat belts? How many adults are supervising? What is the missing child policy/accident policy? Having this information can help you to stay calm and not fear the worst.
4. School trips are a great way for children to build up their confidence. Even if you are worried, tell them it is ok for you to worry a little, but that you trust them.
5. As parents, it is important that we let our children know that we trust them to be responsible. Give them some examples of how they have already shown that they can make good choices. This will reinforce their confidence.
6. Remind them of the key rules: stay with your friends, no wondering off, wear your seat belt and listen to the teacher. When children come home from the trip take the opportunity to praise them for being so brave and responsible.
7. Each year the trips get easier, especially during primary school years. When the overseas trips come up in secondary school you may be back to square one again.
8. Remember how responsible your child can be. Trust that children/teenagers do make good choices every day. This is your guide to allowing them take the next step of overseas trips. We have to remember to stay calm, see the advantages these trips give to your child and use it as time to recognise how much they are growing up and how capable they are becoming.
9. Talk with your children about the trips, children like detail as much as adults do. Young children may want to know about practical things such as; where will the toilet will be? What they will do if they have an accident of any sort? To help ease these worries, pack the bag with them so they know what they have e.g. change of clothes, food, drinks, tissues etc.
10. If you are feeling very anxious you are probably not the only one. Try talking to other parents that morning and do something together to help distract you from the worry. This may be a good opportunity to form new friendships and support networks.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Monday 15 June from 11am-12pm in our NEW One Family Parenting Group. Join in to post your questions and share your experiences.

Next you might like to read 10 Ways to Keep Your Child Safe When Out and About

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Every month One Family invites a response to our short, 3 question survey. Our survey for September 2014 was in relation to the proposed water charges due to commence, at the time of writing, in January 2015. The aim of the survey was to find out how those parenting alone or sharing parenting feel about the charges and how they have been implemented to date.

A selection of survey responses include:

“I often skip dinner to ensure my son will have a dinner the next day. I am sick of counting slices of bread or watching in envy when someone gets to buy a newspaper. No idea where I am meant to find the money for another bill.”

“I live in an apartment and I still do not know how much I’ll have to pay. I can’t even budget or anticipate. My daughter spends 2 nights with her dad so don’t know if this will be taken into account or not. What if he was first with sending the pack to Irish Water and he claimed the allowance first?”

“I am a lone parent to 5 year old twin boys, stuck on rent allowance. I have a disability and I’ve recently had my heating cut off because I couldn’t afford the bill and now they want €220 to switch it back on which I can’t afford . Water charges will cripple this household altogether.”

“I am a single father with two young kids living with me nearly 50% of the time. I pay maintenance on top of this. I support them fully for 50% of the time and get no child benefit. The government have already taken a tax credit from me. This is an extra insult to single fathers like me. It is almost as if Fine Gael is deliberately making it too financially difficult for single fathers to co-parent.”

“I will have to reconsider working. I am a lone parent, I earn €450 per week. €110 a week rent, €120 a week childcare, other bills including electricity, broadband, mobile, heating, car expenses etc total €150. I have nothing left over and the water charges are the last straw for me. My job, which I love, may need to take a back seat.”

You can read the full Water Charges survey results here. Take this month’s survey on Reaction to Budget 2015 here, or view all of our monthly survey results.

Children are a wonderful gift, but they are very delicate and it is often easy for them to feel unappreciated or ignored. As parents, it is very important to make sure our children are growing up happy and confident, and to do that we must make sure they feel special, appreciated, and loved. By recognising their accomplishments and encouraging them to be proud of themselves, we can help them to develop confidence and a sense of achievement that will last them the rest of their lives. In this week’s edition of parenting tips, we highlight 10 ways to improve your child’s self esteem.

1. Children who have lots of positive experiences and positive things said to them will have healthy levels of self esteem, as opposed to children who have many negative experiences growing up.

2. Children need to be recognised and admired. They are important to us and important in the world. Tell them this!

3. Praise children for the efforts they make. The focus should not be on the end result. Children remember praise and it has long-lasting effects.

4. Compliment children on their appearance, how they are doing at school, with friends and with hobbies. Every child is special and should know this.

5. Notice your children’s strengths and tell them what they are. Help them understand how to use those strengths well.

6. Show your child you are so proud of them and the effort they make – to play, to share, to eat dinner etc.

7. Have special time with your child each day and let them know they are top of your list. The feeling of self worth will be enormous.

8. Encourage children to be proud of their own achievements.

9. Encourage children to be open about what strengths they have and also that we all can’t be good at everything. Help them accept they are human, and it is normal to have strengths and weaknesses.

10. Be respectful of children. Talk with them, not at them. Listen to them and hear what they are trying to say. Understand their behaviours and why they exist rather than trying to just fix them. Admire their qualities, even those which are challenging can be used in positive ways throughout life. Accept your child for who they are and tell them everyday how much you love and admire them.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Support Your Child’s Sex Education; 10 Ways to Survive Sleepless Nights; 10 Ways to Encourage Healthy Eating.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Image credit: Pixabay

Almost half of the State’s children are living in households in receipt of social welfare, the Oireachtas Social Protection Committee was told yesterday.

Ita Mangan, Chairwoman of the group that recommended a two-tier child benefit system, warned that this is “worrying” and also told the committee that one in five children in the Republic of Ireland lived in a home where income was less than €20,000 a year. Labour TD Brendan Ryan noted that the lack of affordable childcare was a “major barrier” to single parents working.

One Family’s ongoing campaign Ten Solutions Smarter Futures clearly outlines why the current welfare system needs to be reformed. It is time for a system which lifts people out of poverty and treats everyone with dignity and respect. Responding to Ms Mangan’s evidence to the committee Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes for One Family, highlights the benefits of  Ten Solutions Smarter Futures  and encourages TDs and Senators to agree its execution.

“Against a background of inaccurate and discriminatory media stories which too often demonise lone parents, the system increasingly focuses on blaming individuals for being out of work,” Mr Duffin said.

“Overall, welfare reform has resulted in gaps in provision, especially for those in precarious situations such as those parenting alone. Reforms are based on the assumption that those on welfare should move into employment, regardless of the existence, quality or sustainability of jobs. They assume that benefit recipients lack the motivation to work. Significant moral and ethical questions exist over the ability of large multi-national private employment agencies to profit financially when disadvantaged people find themselves jobs.

“Meanwhile the real barriers to employment such as lack of childcare, employer discrimination, below poverty level wages and the lack of jobs are not tackled effectively. Many lone parents are required to engage in work seeking activities, education and training despite inadequate childcare provision in some areas.”

Mr Duffin concludes: “The real challenge is to make childcare affordable for those at the bottom end, so that there are strong incentives for those parenting alone parents to continue or engage in employment and/or education. That would do much more to help reduce child poverty, and it would help our economic our recovery too.”

The current system is expensive to administer. It is time to stop tinkering with the system and make some fundamental changes which can be achieved through an area-based whole of government outcomes-focused tactic to reduce child poverty. Current policies and practice do little to address the inequalities that place lone parents in precarious labour market situations. There is an acute and urgent need for policies that:

1.         Guarantee flexibilities within JA,

2.         Prevent in-work poverty and create adequate incomes to ensure that no child experiences poverty,

3.         Support job retention,

4.         Guarantee affordable, flexible and high-quality childcare.

The families facing the hardest struggle, particularly those parenting alone, do not have the spending power businesses need to get back to growth and create new jobs. It would be far better for family welfare and business growth if families were at the frontline of economic stimulus. Countries that took this approach when the economic crisis started have recovered much more strongly.

Read more about One Family’s Ten Solutions Smarter Futures campaign here.

RTE Radio’s Tubridy Show heard from some fathers who parent alone about how they manage parenting – and the dating game – One Family client John McCann told his story. Listen here to join the debate….