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Press Release | Census 2016 Reflects the Real Diversity of Families in Today’s Modern Ireland

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Press Release

Census 2016 Shows Increase in One-Parent Family Households and in People who are Divorced Reflecting the Real Diversity of Families in Today’s Modern Ireland

Government must step up with policies and services

(Dublin, Thursday 6th April 2017) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting, and separating – responds to the latest Census 2016 figures released today by the Central Statistics Office (CSO).

The Census shows that there were 218,817 families in Ireland headed by one parent in 2016; an increase of over 3,500 families since Census 2011. The vast majority, 86.4%, were headed by women. Almost 90,000 of these parents indicated that they were single; a further 50,496 were widowed; and the remaining 68,378 were separated or divorced. Nationally, the number of divorced people in Ireland has increased from 87,770 in 2011 to 103,895 in 2016, an increase of 16,125 persons. This is an increase of over 44,000 people in the last ten years. In contrast, the number of people identifying as separated has levelled off and stood at 118,178. This is up marginally from 116,194 five years earlier.

One Family CEO Karen Kiernan comments: “There has been a 1.2% increase in the number of children living in one parent families with almost 1 in 5 children in Ireland (19.5%) now living in a one-parent family. This reflects the evidence that we have from working with families, from listening to them, and understanding their lived realities. It shows that family form is not, and has never been, static. However, services and policies are very often static, and do not reflect the reality of family diversity. Families are left without the supports they need. Lack of supports to separate well, lack of anti poverty measures and lack of mediation services around the country are clear examples of this gap. Government must look at new inter-departmental approaches if it is serious about fixing this problem, and working towards a society where all families are equally cared for and enabled to contribute.”

One Family Policy & Programmes manager, Valerie Maher, comments: “As divorce in Ireland generally requires a period of separation in the first instance, up to five years, the figures reflect both a progression for people from separation to divorce, combined with more people becoming separated. A Private Members Bill reducing the mandated waiting period to initiate divorce proceedings from four years to two is being debated before the Dáil today. We launched the results of Ireland’s First National Shared Parenting Survey in January. Over 1,000 women and men told us what is needed to support them and their children. Government must listen to their voices now, and implement our policy recommendations to ensure that separating parents are supported to keep children at the centre of parenting, thus ensuring better outcomes for all members of the family.”

Census findings reflect what One Family has been saying for years: Ireland’s families come in all shapes and sizes. Further information and analysis on families will be released in June this year. It is time for Government and society to embrace this wonderful diversity.

Notes for Editors

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and celebrates its 45th year in 2017. It is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting, or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services.

These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 662212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie).

One Family launched the results of Ireland’s first national Shared Parenting Survey. The full report can be read here.

For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Valerie Maher, Policy & Programmes Manager | t: 01 662 9212

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 622 9212 or 087 414 8511

 

Policy | Ireland’s First National Shared Parenting Survey: Results & Recommendations

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SPResults_Cover Image_LRIn 2016, One Family devised and conducted Ireland’s first national Shared Parenting Survey in response to a lack of public debate and narrative around shared parenting in modern Ireland. Over one thousand women and men who share parenting, or who have attempted to, responded.

The results have been analysed, and we are pleased to now publish a report entitled Ireland’s First National Shared Parenting Survey: Results & Recommendations which can be read or downloaded by clicking on the image on the left.

Key findings include:

  • The majority of respondents whose child does not live with them most of time, spend time with their child on a weekly basis.
  • While almost 27% of respondents arranged this time amicably between them, for almost 51% it was agreed with difficulty, through mediation or court ordered.
  • 62% of respondents whose child lives with them most or all of the time stated that their child’s other parent contributes financially to their child’s costs; 38% stated that the other parent does not contribute financially.
  • Just over 50% of respondents stated that they do not make decisions jointly on issues that impact on their child(ren).
  • Over 34% of respondents have attended mediation.

One Family extends its sincere gratitude to each of the parents who took the time to share their personal experiences. This report draws directly from their survey responses and includes many of their comments. One Family believes that their honesty and openness will help to make Ireland a better place to share parenting in the future.

Press Release | On Universal Children’s Day we ask: What is being done to lift Ireland’s poorest children out of poverty?

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Press Release

On Universal Children’s Day we ask:

What is being done to lift Ireland’s poorest children out of poverty?

(Dublin, Friday 18 November 2016) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting, and separating – celebrates UN Universal Children’s Day this Sunday, 20 of November 2016, while voicing concern on the inequality that exists in Irish society for the thousands of children living in those one-parent families which suffer the highest rates of deprivation in Ireland today. On Universal Children’s Day we must, as a society, speak for them, acknowledge them, and act for them.

One in nine (11%) children live in consistent poverty in Ireland (SILC 2014). This can mean going 24 hours without a substantial meal or being cold because parents are unable to afford to heat the home. Children living in one-parent family households are almost twice as likely to live in poverty than other children, with 23% of children in a one-parent family experiencing deprivation. Two thirds of homeless families living in emergency accommodation are one-parent families, at any time.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, states: “While Universal Children’s Day is a wonderful celebration of the joy of childhood and the resilience of children, it is also a day to reflect on the inequalities children in Ireland face every day, not as a result of their family form, but as a result of the systemic barriers facing their parents. These are people parenting alone who are consistently thwarted in their attempts to create more positive futures for their families in their efforts to enter education or the workplace. We know, and research shows, that it is the education level of parents and living in consistent poverty that most impact a child’s future.”

Karen continues: “Recent ESRI research, ‘Cherish all the Children Equally?’, confirmed that children living in one-parent families are more likely to fare poorly directly as a result of living in consistent poverty. To be clear, growing up in a lone parent family structure does not create a source of inequality in a child’s life; the inequality comes from inequitable systems and attitudes towards lone parents. But is enough being done to lift Ireland’s poorest children out of poverty? No. We have yet to see a cohesive attempt to break down the barriers that one-parent families in receipt of social welfare payments still face, and nothing to acknowledge those who share parenting.”

One Family will continue to speak out on behalf of the one in five children who live in one-parent families today, and their parents. In addition to providing services and supports, and advocating on behalf of one-parent families, One Family promotes societal acknowledgment of the positivity of family diversity with its annual Family Day celebration every May. Its askonefamily helpline can be contacted on 1890 66 22 12 or 01 662 9212.

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Notes for Editors:

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting, or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 66 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day every May in celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO, One Family | t: 086 850 9191

For further Information, please contact:

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511
Jane Farrell, Communications & Marketing Officer | t: 01 662 9096 or 087 623 0166

 

Parenting | Accepting teen relationships

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couple-690765_1280As children mature into teenagers, innocent childhood crushes on school-friends can give way to more serious romantic interest. By the time your child reaches secondary school, you can support them with dating. It is better as a parent to support this than to forbid them and have your child sneak behind your back.  Allow your child the comfort of being honest with you as they develop during this stage.

We offer advice on supporting your child through teenage dating:

  1. As children progress through their teenage years, the innocent dates will grow into relationships and become more serious. Talk about responsible behaviour and respect for themselves and the other person. Agree on dating rules.
  2. When you want to broach the subject of sexual relationships the conversation should start with the notion of responsible behaviour. Some parents feel strongly that if you talk to your teen about sex then you are encouraging them to be sexually active. This is by no means true. Don’t pretend that if you don’t talk to them about sex that they will remain inactive.
  3. Once your child reaches the teen years it is important to talk to them about contraception. You may wish to take your daughter to your family GP. You can visit the GP first and then allow your daughter go in alone while you sit outside the door and give her the opportunity to take responsibility for her actions and personal care. For the boys, ensure they understand about contraception. Support them to buy male contraception and ensure they know how to use them (there is no age restriction on the purchase of condoms). Ensure they know that they are responsible for their actions and should never expect another person to keep them safe. Each young person must know that they have to take steps to keep themselves safe when they decide to become sexually active.
  4. If you have this talk with your teen at an early age, it doesn’t mean they will become sexually active earlier but waiting until they are past 16-years-old is not wise. Be brave, you are teaching your child to be responsible. It is a part of parenting that so many parents turn a blind eye to. Relationships are a natural part of life and when teens are educated properly about them and about their own bodies they are less likely to disrespect themselves.
  5. Ensure your teen knows that they have control over when they choose to have an intimate relationship. Peer pressure can seem a heavy burden at this age. It can seem that everyone is experimenting but often this is not the case. Help your teen to be feel confident in many areas of life and to value themselves so they can decide what is right for them and not take any steps that they are uncomfortable with.
  6. The other area that is becoming more concerning in teen relationships is abuse. Teens need to know and recognise the signs of control and abuse. Just because they are in a relationship doesn’t mean they should lose their identity. Support your teen to have a voice and also to treat others with respect. Watch their relationships closely and talk with your teen if you notice that their treatment of their partner is not as it should be. Relationship abuse can start in teen relationships and parents need to be aware of this. (Women’s Aid have been working to highlight the issue of abusive dating relationships. Teenage boys in abusive relationships can get support from Amen.)
  7. For many parents there may be extra worries if they think that their teen could be gay, lesbian or bisexual. Parents can feel really anxious and don’t know how to handle this information. The most important thing to remember is that you love your child no matter what. If your child has come to tell  you this then they must feel safe in their relationship with you. It is important not to destroy this now. They need you more than ever as they go through a very challenging time in their life. Belongto offer supports for LGBT young people and their parents.
  8. You want your child to be happy and safe and to find their way in the world. We all want our child to find the easy path in life but that is not always possible. If we can love our children unconditionally they will have the support they need to find their path.  If we can find time to listen to them, to talk to them, and try to understand them, then we will be more confident that they will find their way.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie

 

Parenting | Recognising and dealing with stress

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people-1492052_1920Many parents would describe themselves as busy but do not recognise when they are stressed. Recently I have wondered if parents are more stressed than they realise. The logistics of keeping our children’s lives running smoothly is very stressful. Added stress can come with parenting alone or sharing parenting and being a working parenting can pile on even more stress. In these circumstances it would be impossible not to feel stressed.

In order to cope we often convince ourselves that we are just busy. Some of us can cope better with stress but others may hide it well. If you fail to address the issues causing you stress, problems can arise with your health, your relationships, your well-being, your friendships, your social life, or the most importantly of all, your relationship with our children.

Here are some tips to help us recognise and manage stress in today’s hectic world:

  1. Some leading psychologists such as Dr Tony Humphreys would believe that all illness makes sense. That every little illness from a sore eye to cancer is our body telling us something. If we ignore the early warning signs then illness can come as a way to make us stand up and notice. It usually stops us in our tracks and forces us to take time off. As parents we are very conscious of looking after our children’s health but what do we do when we are feeling unwell? We battle through it. It is important not to ignore even the most subtle symptoms and signals.
  2. Finding ways to take time out as a parent is very difficult especially when parenting alone. As a parent told me recently, the favours are all used up for childcare in order to go to work, so how do you get time off to just take a break? It is crucial to find ways to have time off even if this is one hour a week or an afternoon a month. Find support from other parents. All parents are feeling the same way. Use play dates to your advantage to get some space to yourself and when you do, do not clean the house. Sit down, relax, rest. The housework will always be there.
  3. Talking to someone is really helpful in managing stress. Talking with other parents can be really beneficial as you will find that they are experiencing similar stresses to you. Look in your community and see if there are any groups you can join. It doesn’t have to be parenting, it can be any group that allows you an opportunity to meet other adults and chat when the children aren’t around.
  4. Find time at home with your children to just relax. Children can be involved in so many activities after school and during the week, so take time to sit together as family. Watch a movie or play a game and just relax the old fashioned way. Children really enjoy having pyjama days with parents, just staying in, sitting on the sofa and talking with each other. So much good can come from a day like this. Why not have a pyjama day once a month?
  5. Treat yourself now and again. Finding ways to value what you need is really crucial to good self care. Poor self care can affect your confidence and once your confidence is affected your parenting will be affected. Be aware of how you are feeling. Check the emotional thermometer on a daily basis and respond to it. You deserve the same level of care as you give to your children. Let your children see that you deserve care and respect too.
  6. Ask yourself why you are doing so much. If your child is happy to spend more time with their other parent (and this is workable) explore this as an option. Can you accept or ask for more support? Maybe there are some practical things your child’s other parent can do to help out. If this is not an option, explore the lifestyle you have created for yourself and your child. Is it necessary to be so busy? Is there any way to cut some things out so you have more breathing space?
  7. If you feel you have reached a stage whereby you are worried you cannot cope any longer it is advisable to seek professional support. You can see a counsellor, a parent mentor or your GP for advice and support. You can also call One Family’s Helpline for support, askonefamily on 01 662 9212 or lo-call 1890 662212.

This article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly series of parenting tips. You can read more tips here.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports.

Join the One Family Parenting Group online here

Parenting | How to introduce quiet time in your home

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girl-1561943_1920As parents we can often feel the pressure of keeping our children engaged in activities with friends and play dates. We ourselves feel we must connect with other parents along with tending to seemingly endless daily tasks. It can seem manic at times and constantly busy. We find we don’t have much time to just sit with our children. There is value is just sitting with each other, doing nothing, thinking about nothing in particular, just simply being in each other’s company, relaxing and unwinding. We can forget how comforting it is to just sit still. It is important, especially in today’s hectic world full of distractions, to teach children the importance of just being.

Try to incorporate family time where you are present in each other’s company. Dark evenings by the fire are ideal for this. Simply stay inside with your children, staying cosy and warm and just chill out in their company. Calm time, quiet time, nothing special time! (The Danish have a special word called hygge that describes time spent at home with others in a cosy atmosphere.)

What are the ground rules?

Mobile phones and TV may need to be off limits in this quiet space. The time and day would need to be prioritised just like all other activities. Think of it as an activity you have paid for up-front. You usually never miss these activities. Don’t allow it to be optional. It is quiet time but it is not silence time, you can talk if you choose to or sit in quietness. Whatever activity you choose, make it your space and your time. Let everyone have their say; dream it up and then plan what is realistic.

What quiet activities could you try?

  • Mindfulness involves focusing calmly on the present while acknowledging feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations. If you talk with your children about the business of life and introduce the concept of mindfulness to them I am sure they will want to try it. It may be difficult at the start if you are all used to be being busy.
  • You could introduce some nice colouring books from the mindfulness series, there are so many to choose from for adults and children.
  • Massage is another option for quiet relaxation. You can learn some simple massage techniques from YouTube.
  • Listen to quiet, relaxing music. There are hours of relaxing music compilations also on YouTube.

How long should quiet-time last?

This only need to be half an hour of your week, longer is great but it doesn’t have to be an entire evening. It shouldn’t be something you dread. A the parent, you need to take the lead and support your children to feel happy and safe in their own company, not doing anything specific, only relaxing. Each week you can try new things and bin them if you don’t like them.

Create the space in your home and see if you can feel the positive energy it can create for you and your children this autumn and winter.

This article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly parenting tips.

 

Parenting | Getting ready for back to school

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back-to-school-999248_1920As we fast approach the end of August, it is time to prepare both our children and ourselves for going back to school. The relaxed days and bright evenings of no homework are fewer. With only one full week to go for most, it is time to get things in place so the first week back, as well as the rest of the term, can run smoothly.

We offer ’10 ways’ to make a smooth transition from summertime to the new school year:

  1. Ask everyone, including yourself, what you need to do in the next week to be ready for the new school year. Just some general clearing and sorting can help you feel prepared for the next term, such as cleaning school bags, finding school things, sorting lunch boxes, coming up with ideas for lunch boxes, or tidying bedrooms.
  2. Talk about what you all enjoyed the most this summer and then talk about what there is to look forward to in autumn. It is easy to get a little down as summer comes to a close so talk to your children about positive happenings that await them in autumn such as birthdays, seeing more of their friends, taking part in hobbies or activities, or even just wearing nice, new school clothes.
  3. This weekend should be the last weekend of late nights to bed and relaxed routines. From Monday onwards it would be good to adopt an earlier bedtime; not necessarily the bedtime you have for school nights but close to it. Children need to get into the routine of settling down at night for bed. Enjoy some calm and relaxing family time like movie evenings or board games.
  4. You will be used to more relaxed mornings so getting children out the door in time on school mornings can cause a lot of stress. It is important to practice getting up and out early again. Set yourself some morning tasks next week like a trip to the library or park. If children get up early then they will be ready for bed earlier too.
  5. Talk with each other about what the week will be like once school is back on. Who will bring children to school and who will collect them? What will the homework plan be? Draw up a plan of afterschool activities. Plan treats every month and set clear goals and boundaries for each member of the family.
  6. Think about increasing your child’s independence by giving them more responsibilities next term. Think about what worked well last term and what didn’t. Parents need to be clear about what they can and should do for children. You cannot teach children to be responsible if you do everything for them.
  7. If you have a child starting school for the first time, take time to sit and talk with them about what to expect. Don’t overwhelm them with information as you can increase anxiety by over-talking these matters. Little and often may be best. Show them where the school is and get them to try on their uniforms if they have one. Help them to understand what their day will be like. Work with them around managing their clothes, toileting and feeding themselves. This will support them and help to build their confidence.
  8. Older children may worry that they will have forgotten everything they learned last year and could be worried about the work load coming up. Revise a little with them in a fun way. Support them to do some reading and fun learning activities. Help them to see that they haven’t forgotten and that they can brush up quickly on things they have learned by reading over old copies.
  9. For exam children talk with them about stress and recognising stress. Help them to develop coping skills from early on. Help them to learn good study techniques and be organised in their study plan. Start early, don’t leave it until the mock exams. On day one the teachers will be talking about exams so they need to be prepared.
  10. Take deep breaths and get ready for another fun filled year of learning and look forward to the Halloween break. You are a team, a family, so work together to achieve success and happiness this school year.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or on 01 662 9212.

Press Release | Ireland’s First National Shared Parenting Survey Launched Today

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Press Release

Ireland’s First National Shared Parenting Survey Launched Today

One Family will finally capture the reality for thousands of parents and children in Ireland who are not recognised

(Dublin, Monday 4th July 2016) Today One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting, and separating – launches the first National Survey on Shared Parenting in Ireland. Founded as Cherish in 1972, One Family has almost 45 years experience of working with and representing one-parent families. Our experience shows that many lone parents share parenting to some extent with their child’s other parent, even though they live separately and are not in a relationship with each other. However, this reality for many thousands of children and parents in Ireland is not recognised or understood meaning that services, polices and laws which could support them are severely lacking.

This initiative aims to capture data on not only the amount of lone parents who share parenting, but the commitments agreed – be they financial, on joint decision making, or on residential or contact time; and how Ireland’s services and polices work or do not work for their family form. The data gathered will finally give a voice to these parents and their children, which can inform appropriate policies and services in the future.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, comments: “Why is this survey needed? Based on the experiences of people who access our services, we believe over 50% and up to 80% of lone parents in Ireland may share parenting, yet the supports they need simply do not exist.  Relationship separation is often a time of great hurt and anger, meaning that establishing a shared parenting agreement which keeps children at the centre of parenting can be immensely challenging. This lack of recognition, including supports around mediation, establishing a shared parenting plan, and Family Law Courts, for example, can pile on additional stress.”

Also today One Family has launched its Annual Review 2015, and a new Strategy for 2016-2018. Calls to its helpline askonefamily increased by another 20% in 2015. The increase was driven largely by governmental reform of the One-Parent Family Payment, with especially negative impacts on parents working part-time who experienced a large income reduction on already tight budgets. Calls related to issues around shared parenting also increased.

Karen continues: “Strategy 2016-2018 outlines One Family’s ongoing commitment to cherish all children and all families. We continue to work towards a society that does not discriminate based on family type, and to call for the broadening of the Constitutional definition of the family to ensure respect and recognition of all the different family types children live in. Attitudinal change in society and at policy level is urgently required if we are to afford equality to all families, and to reduce child poverty rates by 2020 in line with Government commitments. Evidence shows that it is not family form that most impacts on a child’s well-being and future outcomes, but challenges like poverty, and access to education. Capturing information and recognising the realities for many thousands of shared parenting families in Ireland, which our National Survey is designed to achieve, is essential so that proper supports can be put in place to ensure these better outcomes.”

The National Survey on Shared Parenting is anonymous and should take approximately ten minutes to complete. It is available online on this link.

Dani, aged 10, talks about One Family’s Annual Review and the current situation for one-parent families in Ireland in a short video available to view here, which includes Karen Kiernan discussing Strategy 2016-2018 and what is needed to create more positive futures for one-parent families.

Notes for Editors

  • 1 in 8 people in Ireland live in a one-parent family (Census 2011)
  • 1 in 4 families with children in Ireland is a one-parent family (Census 2011)
  • Over half a million people live in one-parent families in Ireland (Census 2011)
  • 13.5% of one-parent families are headed by a father (Census 2011)
  • Almost 1 in 5 children (18.3%) live in a one-parent family (Census 2011)
  • There are over 215,000 one-parent families in Ireland today – 25.8% of all families with children (Census 2011)
  • Family Relationships and Family Well-Being: A Study of the Families of Nine Year-Olds in Ireland by Tony Fahey, Patricia Keilthy and Ela Polek (2012): Shared Parenting in Lone Parent and Step Families (pg. 24) contains information on shared parenting in Ireland and can be can be read here.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting, or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 66 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

 

Parenting | Establishing family rituals

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rope-1469244_1920A family ritual, or tradition, is a practice within a family that has special meaning to family members. Family rituals provide a sense of belonging and continuity. They bring families closer together. It is often hard in our day and age to escape the pressures and daily stresses that make up our lives but having rituals creates an opportunity for children to feel secure. Family routines and rituals not only improve family relationships, they also improve health and emotional well being, particularly for children.

As part of of our ‘10 Ways to‘ weekly series of parenting tips, here are some ideas to help you develop family rituals and traditions for your family.

  1. Think simple, not extravagant. An example of a simple and easy ritual is to eat together at least once every week.
  2. Set aside time each week. Create a time where you and your children can be together to play.
  3. Create your own special activity. For weekends, birthdays or celebrations, decide with the family how you really enjoy celebrating these occasions and go with that.
  4. Include your children in the planning.
  5. Create rituals that are meaningful to the whole family.
  6. Be different. Don’t be afraid to start a new or different kind of family tradition.
  7. Celebrate success. Acknowledge achievement within the family.
  8. Don’t be a perfectionist. There’s no need to stress if it does not work out exactly the way you envisaged and planned.  Things go wrong sometimes. A sense of bonding between the members involved is still created.
  9. Create a Family Event Jar. A family jar or box is a decorated jar used to save for the next big adventure. Decorate it with pictures and words of places you want to visit or have visited, or activities you enjoy. The jar becomes a daily visual reminder for all family members of something to look forward to.
  10. Rituals and traditions are something for all family member to enjoy together. Don’t fight your natural inclinations. You probably won’t stick with a tradition that isn’t working for all members of the family.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or on 01 662 9212.

 

Parenting | Reading with your child

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readingWith the chilly weather we find ourselves indoors more often and may have more time to spend reading with our children. Reading together is a great bonding exercise and important to make part of your daily life if possible.

As part of our ’10 Ways to …’ series which offers tips for parents on a variety of topics, here are our ‘10 Ways to Make Reading a Part of Family Life‘.

 

  1. Join the library. The whole family could take a trip to the local library and sign up. It’s free! Find out what’s happening in your local library as they run great events too and you can then plan your family trips to correspond with events.
  2. Read together. Plan a time each day, or at least three times a week, to read together. Let the children read to their parent or parents to child. When a child becomes familiar with a story they can tell it from the pictures or from their memory – encourage this!
  3. Start a library in your home. Go the second hand shops and get great books for very little cost.
  4. Switch off the TV. For one evening every week, switch on the story telling in the family instead of the telly.
  5. Start early. Introduce children to books from six months onwards; bath books, music books and picture books.
  6. Role model. Let children see you read books and use books to find out about things. Yes, there’s Google but let children know there are other ways too.
  7. Bring books. Wherever you go – when in the car, in a queue, on a bus trip going to Granny’s – bring a book with you. You can pass the time reading to your child or encourage them to read themselves if you are driving or talking with someone.
  8. Visit book shops. They can be great fun. Let children see all the books they can choose from. Talk to them about authors and check out when writers are signing in shops.
  9. Create your own book. Encourage older children (6+) to write their own stories and to create pictures about simple things they like in life. You could get them bound and keep them forever.
  10. The Benefits. Reading together creates quality time which results in improved relationships. It teaches children about the world and the people in it. It helps develop imagination, increases your child’s language and vocabulary which improves chances at school, and concentration levels grow as stories gets longer with age. At bed time, reading helps us relax and can enable children to fall asleep more quickly.

 

The ’10 Ways to …’ series is compiled by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

You can find out about parenting programmes we run here.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.