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Dad and child's hands

One-Parent Family Payment Presentation to Joint Oireachtas Committee on Education and Social Protection

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Press Release

Get It Right for One-Parent Families

One Family Presents to Joint Oireachtas Committee on Education and Social Protection on Impacts of One-Parent Family Payment Changes

– Policy Changes will lead to Increased Poverty

(Dublin, Wednesday 18 February 2015) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating – today calls on the Joint Oireachtas Committee on Education and Social Protection to petition the Táiniste and the Department of Social Protection to Get it Right (#GetItRightDSP) for one-parent families.

One Family is invited to present to the Committee today and will stress the reality of the impacts of changes to the One-Parent Family Payment (OFP) which will hit one-parent families this year. Almost 39,000 OFP recipients are being moved to the Job Seekers Transition Allowance (JST)on 2 July.

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes, explains: “This is a result of the decision announced in Budget 2012 to restrict eligibility for the OFP to people parenting alone whose youngest child is aged seven or under. However, the supports that should accompany this policy implementation to ensure its success– particuarly the promised accessible, affordable, quality childcare – have not been delivered, while one-parent families continue to suffer the highest rates of poverty and deprivation of any family type in Ireland.”

Stuart continues: “Over 29% of one-parent families are at risk of poverty and 63% of all one-parent households experience deprivation; this is despite the fact that 53% of lone parents are currently in the labour market. We are hearing from many of these working lone parents, who already finely balance household budgets on a knife-edge, that it will no longer be feasible for them to remain in their part-time jobs. These changes will lead to even greater and deeper poverty for one-parent families.”

One Family calls for an integrated and SMART action plan to help ease confusion and stress for those parents who will be moved from OFP to JST in July, and for the creation of a simple customer charter by the Department of Social Protection where claimants are given clear, sensible and correct information.  The Department needs to take responsibility for the impact its policies will have on families who are in need of service from it and other Departments as these changes take effect.

Stuart further comments, “It is absolutely clear that there is growing inequality in  Ireland,  that tackling it must be a national priority and that fixing the administration of  social welfare and its support services will remove a key trigger for deeper deprivation for those parenting alone. Also, it is clear that no child or parent should be going hungry in Ireland today. Low pay, rising housing and energy  costs are key drivers of family poverty, but the missing piece of the puzzle is that for many lone parents ‘work does not pay’ leaving families increasingly exposed to poverty of opportunity. Ireland needs a whole of public service response not a siloed service that leaves families struggling and parents demotivated.”

Lone parents want to work and they want to create the best possible outcomes for their children. With the right policies, the right time-frame, and the right level of political will, choices can be made to enable those thousands of one-parent families suffering deprivation to grow out of poverty and achieve better futures.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 62 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes |t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

 

 

 

Hands

One Family Welcomes Children & Family Relationships Bill

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Press Release

A Good News Day for Children 

One Family Welcomes Children & Family Relationships Bill

(Dublin, Tuesday 17 February 2015) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and step-parenting today welcomes the passing at Cabinet of the Children & Family Relationships Bill 2015. As an organisation with 42 years of expertise in supporting the real needs of diverse families in Ireland, One Family acknowledges that this Bill is groundbreaking in recognising and supporting the complexity of family arrangements that children live in today.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO explains: “We are strongly welcoming this Bill as for the first time in Irish legislation the reality of the families that children live in is recognised, as it will now be possible for children to have legal relationships with the people who are raising them such as their step-parents, informal foster-parents or the second parent in a same-sex headed family. This is important for their safety and wellbeing and shifts the focus to what children really need. We also welcome the fact that the best interests of the child will be central in family law proceedings; that children will need to be consulted on issues affecting them; and that more unmarried fathers will automatically become guardians of their children.”

One Family has been working with families who use the family law courts for over four decades providing specialist family support services so that separated families who share parenting can do so effectively and without conflict. Based on our expertise of what we know families need during this time of transition, we welcome sections of the Bill dealing with Making Parenting Orders Work including the ability to refer parents to mediation, counselling, and parenting programmes.”

Karen continues: “Whilst the Bill is extremely welcome, it is not perfect and in particular we are seeking assurances that a court welfare system and guardianship register will be introduced in the future. We are also concerned about the costs that might be borne by parents who are involved in family law disputes.”

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 62 2212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Behavioural Economics and Social Protection Policy

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Adam SmithOne Family Director of Policy & Programmes, Stuart Duffin, writes on the topic of behavioural economics and social protection policy.

Behavioural economics improves the realism of the psychological assumptions underlying economic theory, attempting to reunify psychology and economics in the process, and should lead to better predictions about economic behaviour and better policy prescriptions.

Because economics is the science of how resources are allocated by individuals and by collective institutions like firms and markets, the psychology of individual behaviour should underlie and inform economics, much as archaeology informs anthropology. However, economists routinely – and proudly – use models that are grossly inconsistent with findings from psychology. An alternative approach is behavioural economics, which seeks to use psychology to inform economics while maintaining the emphasis on mathematical structure that distinguishes economics from other social sciences.

Behavioural economics represents a reunification of psychology and economics. Early thinking about economics was shot through with psychological insight. For example, in his Theory of Moral Sentiments, Adam Smith described all the ways in which people care about the interests of others. In his later book, The Wealth of Nations, he suggests that people get dinner “not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker” but “from the regard [of those agents] to their own interest”. The latter passage is one of the most famous in economics, whereas Smith’s earlier book on moral sentiments is ignored. Why?

The answer is that two trends led economics and psychology along different paths this century (although both were trying to make their disciplines more scientific). One trend was that theorists like Samuelson and Debreu worked hard at formalising economics mathematically, with physics as inspiration. Psychologists were also inspired by natural sciences – by experimental traditions rather than mathematical structure. As a result, to an economist, a theory is a body of mathematical tools and theorems. To a psychologist, a theory is a verbal construct or theme that organises experimental regularity.

This divergence in methods and ways of expressing knowledge pushed economics and psychology apart. A second trend kept the fields apart. In the 1940s, economists took up logical positivism with a special twist (called the “F twist” after its advocate, Milton Friedman). Because theories with patently false assumptions can make surprisingly accurate predictions, economic theories that assume that individual agents are highly rational and willful, judge probabilities accurately, and maximise their own wealth, might prove useful even though psychology shows that those assumptions are systematically false. The F twist allowed economists to ignore psychology. Many theorists also thought that relaxing rationality assumptions would inevitably lead to analytical intractability. Lived realities and new thinking have shown cases in which this is wrong.

A behavioural diagnosis and design process would provide a means of identifying and addressing key reasons that social protection policy in Ireland is not performing to expectation; uncover behavioural bottlenecks that are amenable to solution; and identify structural issues. The diagnosis process encourages Government to step back and examine multiple possible explanations for under-performance before embracing a particular theory or solution, thus improving the likelihood of success.

One-Parent Family Poverty Demonstrated By Household Finance and Consumption Survey 2013

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CSOThe Central Statistics Office (CSO) published the results of the 2013 Household Finance and Consumption Survey (HFCS) 2013 today, which was undertaken between March and September 2013. The HFCS collects data on household assets and liabilities, income, consumption and credit constraints. The figures released  demonstrate the effects of the overt discrimination and disadvantage experienced  by one-parent families in Ireland as a result of Government tactics and policies. This is shameful.

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, responds: “This is yet more very worrying data on the situation of one-parent families, in particular in terms of their level of savings, assets and also debt, particularly on non-mortgage loans. While lone parent households make up 4.4% of all households covered by the survey, they only account for 0.7% of total net wealth.”

“This is bad news for parents struggling on low and insecure wages, coping with rising living costs and no coordinated supports,” he continues. “Parents are short of the money essential for basics. This impacts on and can define a child’s life; denying opportunities and quality of life which increases the odds of a damaged future and a lifetime of disadvantage.”

This follows closely on and reinforces data from the Survey on Income and Living Conditions (SILC) 2013 published last Wednesday which shows that 63% of one-parent family households in Ireland suffer deprivation, and the lived daily realities of the one-parent families One Family supports.

Read our response to SILC 2013 here.

The CSO press release can be read here and the Household Finance and Consumption Survey 2013 downloaded here.

Where’s the education and childcare for lone parents for sustainable jobs?

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Press Release

“The best way out of poverty is a job,” says Joan Burton.

“Where’s the education and childcare for lone parents for sustainable jobs?”asks One Family

www.onefamily.ie

The routeway out of poverty is a job: education is the ladder.

(Dublin, Tuesday 27 January 2014) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone and sharing parenting – reacts to the RTÉ 1 Claire Byrne Show debate  with the Táiniste, Joan Burton  and President of Sinn Féin, Gerry Adams.  The coalition Government promised that austerity would be shared equally between rich and poor, young and old. It hasn’t turned out quite like that. 63% of one-parent family households in Ireland suffer deprivation (SILC Report 2013 published last week).

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, comments: “Despite it setting out by stating ambitious reformist intentions, under this coalition Government we now see more homelessness, poor access to quality childcare, rising child poverty and vulnerable families pushed onto the live register without supports.”

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, states, “July 2015 will see up to 39,000 recipients of the One-Parent Family Payment transferred to the Jobs-seekers Transition Allowance until their youngest child is 14 years old. Tánaiste Burton’s mantra is: ‘The best way out of poverty is a job’. Yet 53% of lone parents are already in the labour market and most are working poor. What’s really on offer today for the majority of people parenting alone? Low wages, insecure or zero hours contracts combined with no childcare. That will not take a one-parent family out of poverty.”

He continues: “Táiniste Burton stated last night on the RTÉ 1 Claire Byrne Show that the Job Seeker Transition payment ‘gives lone parents seven years to get into education and then into work.’  Where are these opportunities? Where are these supports? Where are the Out-of School childcare services and training programmes to support parents? We must be solution-focused. Not only do we need to understand poverty but the causes and the routeways out of poverty. Access to free part-time education is the best value approach to activation for Government. Enabling someone who has been removed from the workforce to rejoin it is about more than just assisting them with uploading their CV to an online site. If a job is the routeway out of poverty then access to education is the ladder.”

“If we don’t enable those parenting alone or sharing parenting to be included in Irish society and economy, they and their children will remain outside in deeper poverty and disadvantage into the foreseeable future, and they are voters too,” concludes Stuart.

One Family reiterates its call to Government to enact its 10 Solutions campaign, with an immediate focus on provision of affordable and accessible quality local childcare.  Every parent should have an equal opportunity to create a better future for his or her children. All families deserve an equal chance. One Family is keen to meet with Government to share its European-wide expert knowledge, and over 40 years of experience, on what works for those parenting alone and sharing parenting.

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 62 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 664 0124 / e: schance@onefamily.ie

Dad and child's hands

63% of One-Parent Family Households in Ireland Suffer Deprivation According to SILC Report

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Press Release

63% of One-Parent Family Households in Ireland Suffer Deprivation – Shameful!

SILC Report 2013 Launched Today

www.onefamily.ie

(Dublin, Wednesday 21 January 2014) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone and sharing parenting – reacts to the Survey on Income and Living Conditions (SILC) 2013 results published today, which clearly show that those living in households with one adult and one or more children had the highest deprivation rate in 2013 at 63.2% and the highest consistent poverty rate at 23%, with distress but not surprise.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, comments: “Today’s SILC results amplify what we keep saying. People parenting alone tell us through our monthly surveys, askonefamily helpline and our mentoring, counselling, education and human services that they live on the knife edge of poverty. Government ignores the lived reality of these parents’ caring responsibilities. It continues to enforce new, ill-formed activation measures without provision of effective supports such the long-promised, affordable quality childcare. Over 39,000 lone parents will be taken off their One-Parent Family Payment and moved to Job Seekers Transitional in July this year. The real impact of this will be even more hardship and we’ll see yet another rise in the numbers of one-parent families suffering deprivation in future reports.”

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, states: “It is shameful and reduces children’s life chances. People parenting alone are still being hit the hardest. Over 800 lone parents who are also caring for adult family members are set to lose another €86 per week this year. How much further can the income gap widen? Austerity has impacted on everyone. Enforced deprivation was experienced by 30% of the population last year, up from 26% in 2012 and the deprivation rate for those at risk of poverty increased from 46% to 53%, which proves that the income gap is widening. How is that just and fair?”

Stuart continues: “One in four families with children in Ireland is a one-parent family, over half a million people. With two thirds of these families shown to live in deprivation and suffering the highest consistent poverty rate, Government needs to finally admit that its current policies are just not working. People parenting alone want to do their best for their children’s futures and 53% of lone parents are in the labour market. But current policies mean that the barriers to lone parents returning to employment or education are leading to an increasing dependence on social welfare over time. It is very difficult to make progress for your family while living under constant fear of an energy bill or the threat of homelessness, as so many thousands of people parenting alone do today. Government needs to listen and act, as its choices condemn one-parent families to persistent poverty.”

One Family recorded a staggering 30% increase of callers to its askonefamily helpline in 2013. The real impact of years of austerity is only now being realised and one-parent families and parents sharing parenting of their children have borne the brunt of spending cuts. One Family reiterates its call to Government to enact its 10 Solutions campaign, with an immediate focus on provision of affordable and accessible quality local childcare.  Every parent should have an equal opportunity to create a better future for his or her children. All families deserve an equal chance.

Further information on One Family’s 10 Solutions.

Central Statistics Office (CSO) SILC results.

The askonefamily helpline can be contacted on lo-call 1890 66 22 12.

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 62 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 664 0124 / e: schance@onefamily.ie

 

One Family Welcomes Terms of Reference of the Commission of Investigation into Mother and Baby Homes

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Press Release

One Family Welcomes Terms of Reference of the Commission of Investigation into Mother and Baby Homes

One Family welcomes today’s publication of the terms of reference of the Commission of Investigation into Mother and Baby Homes as established by Minister for Children James Reilly.

One Family CEO Karen Kiernan explained: “We are pleased to say that the terms of reference have listened to recommendations by One Family and many organisations whose members have been directly affected by Mother & Baby homes and the prevailing culture of the time. The importance of the Confidential Committee to hear the voices of those directly affected by the homes is critical.

“Of great importance also is the fact that there is an awareness of the social context which contributed to widespread discriminatory treatment of non-marital families and mothers,” Karen continued. “One Family believes that this prejudice still exists today and Irish society will benefit hugely from a reflection on attitudes to non-marital and one-parent families.”

One Family was founded as Cherish by a small group of unmarried mothers in 1972 who, against prevailing practice, decided that they wanted to keep their babies and raise them themselves. The founders tell numerous stories of their difficult personal experiences in doing this, as well as those of the many women who turned up at their homes, at group meetings, or here to the offices at 2 Lower Pembroke Street, Dublin desperate for help because they were pregnant and not married which in countless cases had cost them their family relationships, jobs and homes.

One Family’s Chairperson, John O’Connell, who was himself born in Bessborough Home and returned with his mother to her family at the age of six months, comments: “Unfortunately we are aware that secrecy and shame can still surround many women whose children were adopted from mother and baby homes. As a society we need to give a clear and strong message that this secrecy and shame was and is wrong. There are still opportunities for adopted family members to be reunited, for children and parents who lived in mother and baby homes to be heard and acknowledged, and for Irish society to finally learn these lessons and treat all children and families equally.”

Lone parents and their family members affected by the recent harrowing reports may wish to call One Family’s lo-call askonefamily helpline for support on 1890 66 22 12.

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 62 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

More information on the history of One Family is here.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

 

 

Safety Out and About

10 Ways to Keep Your Child Safe When Out and About

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Safety Out and AboutBeing out and about shopping with young children can be stressful. This week in our ’10 Ways to’ parenting tips series, we explore some tips that will help you keep them safe.

  1. Talk with children once they start to develop language skills about where they live, their phone number and parent’s name.
  2. Help your child recognise staff members in large shops. Point out uniforms and other identifiers. help them to understand that if they lose sight of their parent/carer that they should only talk with a staff member.
  3. For young children it can be useful for them to wear a wristband with your phone number on it as sometimes people may not understand what they are saying or your child may be too scared to tell them anything.
  4. Always talk with children about strangers; these are men, women and children. Help them to understand that they do not talk with strangers and should never go anywhere with them no matter how attractive it may seem.
  5. For young children, especially those under two years of age, it is best to keep them in a buggie when in large shops, malls or streets. They may not love the idea, but they can go missing in minutes otherwise. Help them enjoy the trip with small breaks from the buggie to eat and for hugs, but secure them in the buggie otherwise.
  6. For children who have outgrown the buggie it is very useful to use a wrist harness. It can be hard to hold hands all the time especially if you’re carrying bags. Talk with your child about the purpose of the harness, to keep them safe.
  7. Once you enter the shopping centre, show your child a clear place that they should go to if separated from you; for example, a security desk or any brightly coloured or unusual feature that stands out. This place needs to be easily spotted when looking up from your child’s height so crouch down beside them when showing them this spot. Children will not see which way to go if you choose a location which they can’t see from looking up.  They need to be able to see past the crowd.
  8. Explain to your child that if they do get lost to just to stay still and not move about at first, and that they must always answer you when you call their name. Then you can go back to the places you have been and hopefully locate them. Children can at times hide in clothes or toys and in shelves; there is so much to distract them in busy shops. Help them to understand that this may be good fun but when they do this, you cannot see them.
  9. Maybe let your child have a whistle, or if old enough to use a phone, perhaps they could have one to use when out and about. Your number can be pre-programmed on quick dial. This may support you finding them sooner.
  10. If your child does get separated from you, inform staff immediately. Do not hesitate. Do not feel you need to wait and look yourself first. Get help from the staff straight away.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on the topic of safety when out and about on Monday 12 January from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your question.

Next you might like to read 10 ways to Develop Playtime with your Child or 10 ways to Be More Socially Engaged 

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming soon: 10 Ways to Talk with Children About Death.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and advice on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

10 Ways to Develop New Parenting Routines

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Setting RoutinesA new year has arrived and with it, an ideal opportunity to explore family routines. Following consistency in routines supports parenting and increases your child’s sense of well-being and security. Last week in our weekly ’10 Ways to’ parenting tips series, we explored how to Make Positive Parenting Changes in 2015 so this week is a good time to continue consider your family’s routines and any changes you would like to make.

  1. Think about how and why routines are useful.  Maintaining clear routines in the home supports children’s well being in many ways. Children like to know what to expect in the form of activities and behaviours. Routine helps us as parents too, and can increase harmony in the home, reduce stress and increase productivity and a sense of achievement and connection.
  2. Children usually have a very clear routine from birth around feeding, sleeping and nappy time. Sometimes as our children grow we rigidly continue with routines in these areas but often times we don’t. Think about what routines you currently follow.
  3. Explore any parts of the day when you have a good routine in place that works for all, for example, perhaps the getting to school schedule flows perfectly every morning. What does this do for you and your children? Do you find that things run smoother at these times and everyone gets on well?
  4. What happens at the times you don’t have a clear routine in place, for example, perhaps the homework routine? What impact does this have? Children and parents can get confused, frustrated or anxious when we don’t know what to expect which can lead to challenging behaviours.
  5. It is important to have consistent routines around not only eating and sleeping and practical schedules, but around behaviours also.
  6. It is your job to implement the routine, but your children need to know and understand it. Talk with children about routines and how they help. Allow them have a voice in what works and doesn’t work for them.
  7. As seasons change and children grow, routines will change too. Be open to this change. If a plan is not working, even if it used to, then stop doing it. Review it with your children, build on it and make a new plan. As the parent, ensure you follow through.
  8. Some people very much resist routine. Explore why this is the case. Think about what your child needs. Most children need security and this can often be achieved through clear routines. Following routines does not mean you have to be rigid; you can be flexible, but ensure your child knows why a change in the routine is occurring. Some children do well with change and others do not.
  9. Think about your own life, separate to being a parent. What routines are in place for you? What happens when you can’t follow the routine? Sometimes it means your needs are not met, which in turns affects how you are, how you can cope, and how you parent.
  10. Talk with your children about routines this week. What is working now and what doesn’t work so well? Agree some new routines for 2015 and then look back later in the year to see how they have hopefully helped to improve happiness and harmony in your home.

Next you might like to read 10 Ways to Develop Family Rituals and Traditions, 10 Ways to Establish a Bedtime Routine or 10 Ways to Run a Family Meeting.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming soon: 10 Ways to Ensure Safety When Out and About and 10 Ways to Talk With Children About Death.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on 5 January from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your questions.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and advice on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

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10 Ways to Make Positive Parenting Changes

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Life often throws obstacles our way. Maybe you have had a tough year in 2014 and can recall more things that went badly than those that went well.  It happens to all of us at some time in our lives. Whether you feel this past year has been good or bad, this time as we transition into a new year can be the ideal time to take stock. It’s a good time to look back over the previous twelve months in a productive manner, with a view to making positive changes for your family in 2015. Give  yourself some quiet time to sit down with a notebook and pen, think about our suggestions below, and make your parenting plan for the brand new year ahead.

  1. Make a list of the top three things you love about your children.
  2. Make a list of the top three issues you can deal with well around parenting.
  3. Now that you are hopefully feeling a little more positive that things are never as bad as they seem, think about the things you need to make changes around.
  4. Name five areas of your parenting that you would like to change in the coming year. Write this plan into a nice diary or notebook that you will keep close with you all year. Or make a little poster and pin it up in your home to remind you of the goals you are setting for 2015.
  5. Start with introducing family meetings. If you don’t do this already then the time has come. As a parent your key role is to facilitate harmony in your home.  You cannot do this without everyone getting on board. Talk with your children about the idea of family meetings. Everyone gets to talk and be heard.  It’s a time for planning and sharing and most importantly solving issues. Have a family meeting book, use a notebook which will last the year and keep note each week of the meeting, the issues and the plan. This can make such a drastic change in families, you really should try it. When everyone is planning together and each family member feels they are being heard, then the plan is more likely to work. If it is your plan alone, you can bin it as it most likely will not work. Check out our 10 Ways to Run a Family Meeting for more information.
  6. Next you need to think about self-care. All parents need to make and value some time for themselves. This is especially valuable for anyone parenting on their own as no one else can do this for you so it’s important to acknowledge this and plan your own self-care. Without looking after yourself and meeting your own needs, you will not be able to continuously meet the needs of your family. Make a plan now of when you will get time out each week. What are your 3 top needs for this year? Name them and start planning. There is most often a simple way of meeting needs, but you have to be creative and positive that it is possible. Now write them up clearly and promise yourself that you deserve this time for you and your children will be much happier as a result. Happy Parents, Happy Home.
  7. Spend a week looking at you, at how you engage with your children. Is the picture one you like? If not then plan a change. Can you listen more and talk less? Can you ask for their story and not always tell yours? Can you empower your children to resolve their own issues instead of always trying to fix them for them? Can you put yourself in their shoes, what is life like for them? Can you talk with them and not at them? Can you see yourselves as team members who need to work together, cooperate with each other to get things done and needs met? Are the rules fair? Who made them? Is it time to review them? How many chances do you give? If the answer is more than one, then it’s time to think again. Talk with your child about choices, they choose to behave in certain ways, as do you, and we all face consequences. Are the consequences fair and does everyone face them?
  8. Think about your child’s other parent. What does it mean to your children to have two parents? Is your child’s other parent currently involved in parenting? What is your relationship like with the other parent? If there is room for improvement then try to make a change. Explore your style of communication and look at your role in any conflict. You can’t change your child’s other parent, you can only make changes for you, however positive changes often have ripple effects on others. For more suggestions, read 10 Ways to Explain an Absent Parent, 10 Ways to Successful Shared Parenting and 10 Ways to Positively Maintain Contact.
  9. Remember to contact One Family if you would like parenting support. We offer a variety of online information, one-to-one-supports, and parenting courses including a new online parenting support course starting this Spring. Click here to find out more. Maybe these supports are what you need to help you as you make positive change happen.
  10. You can also call or email our askonefamily helpline to talk about what is challenging you when starting into this new year ahead. You have the answers already, but you may need some support to dig them out.

mum and son playingThis article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Next week we examine how to put routines into place.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on Monday 5th January from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your question.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and advice on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.