Assertiveness is a wonderful quality to have, and as long as you know how to use it properly it can be help you be direct and clear in your communication with others, particularly your children. 

Assertiveness is an approach that helps you to be direct, honest and respectful in expressing your feelings, wants, needs and opinions.

• You should always be respectful of others and yourself when being assertive.
• Being assertive should not mean being aggressive.
• Use clear and direct communication instead of unclear or indirect communication.
• Be more confident about how you say things and how you get your message across.
• Assertiveness will help your children learn how to be assertive and help a family to be positive and have shared values.
• Remember you are making requests, not demands. Expect yes and no answers.
• Be ready to negotiate and compromise with others, including children.
• Be very specific with children in particular about what you need them to do. ‘I need you to tidy your room’ is too vague. Indicate certain areas of the room: ‘I need you to tidy your dolls today’ and explain what that should look like.
• Learn to say no and explain why it is a ‘No.’ The ‘No’ is about you safeguarding yourself as opposed to blocking another person: ‘No, you cannot walk alone to the shops, I need you to be safe and I need to hold your hand to ensure this.’

Further Support

We provide limited direct support to both parents and children of one-parent families. This support can be requested directly by parents, for themselves or their child, and by professionals who work with one-parent families. You can find out more about this support here.

Helpline

Our askonefamily helpline is open 10am – 3pm, Monday – Friday. We provide detailed, confidential information on social-welfare entitlements and finances, family law, housing, education, childcare and parenting.

We also offer a listening-support service for people who need help parenting alone, sharing parenting or separating. You can call the askonefamily helpline on 0818 662 212 or 01 662 9212, or email your query to
helpline@onefamily.ie.