Today we bid farewell to our Counselling Manager, Marguerite McCarthy, who is retiring after seventeen years with One Family.

Marguerite, sometimes described as a quiet subversive; pioneered unplanned pregnancy and post-abortion counselling with her predecessor Sherie de Burgh, supporting thousands of women, men and children throughout her career. She leaves in place a dedicated, professional, and capable team to support service users into the future. The staff, board and service users of One Family want to thank Marguerite for her work, guidance and friendship and we wish her a long and happy retirement. Thank you

We have a number of new publications available this month including or new ‘Services Brochure’ and ‘Strategy 2019-2021’ booklet please click on images below for more details:

Services Brochure:

One Family Strategy 2019- 2021:

The askonefamily helpline has developed the first in a series of new information resources to help one-parent families

• An entitlements map – An easy to understand visual aid outlining the supports available to you as a lone parent in work or out of paid work.
• Tutorial – Step-by-step guide on How to fill out the One-parent Family Payment (OFP) application form.
  

These are the first in a series of new resources the Askonefamily helpline is developing to make information more accessible to parents.

About askonefamily

askonefamily provides information on: social welfare entitlements and issues, family law issues, housing, education, finances, childcare, parenting and community supports. We also offer support for those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.

Call a trained askonefamily team member on 01 662 9212* or email helpline@onefamily.ie.

The Board and staff of One Family wish you and your family a peaceful and joyful festive season.

Our office and our askonefamily helpline close on Thursday 22 December 2016 and will reopen on Tuesday 3 January 2017.

We have gathered these numbers for other services that you may find useful if you need information or support over the holiday season:

Citizens Information Phone Services (CIPS): 0761 07 4000
Parentline: 1890 927 277
Childline: 1800 66 66 66
Teenline: 1800 833 634
Aware: 1890 303 302
Samaritans: 116 123

askonefamily is a helpline offering information and listening support for men and women who may be parenting alone, sharing parenting or separating. The helpline is also available to extended family, friends or professionals.

People call askonefamily for all kinds of reasons. They may have a question about their financial situation, maybe they are finding it difficult to communicate with their child’s other parent, or they may simply need a listening ear. Some other queries include:

• Parenting
• Family law issues
• Talking to your child about their family situation
• Social welfare benefits and entitlements
• Relationship breakdown
• Housing
• Childcare
• Return to education or employment

Call us on 1890 66 22 12  or 01 662 9212, from Monday to Friday between 10am-2pm. We also offer an email service for information.

The askonefamily helpline has been offered by One Family since 2004, supporting many thousands of parents by providing information, listening to their concerns, and letting them know about other available services both here in One Family and in their local community. When you call the helpline you will talk with one of the askonefamily team, either a staff member or a volunteer. This will be someone with training in non-directive listening and experience of parenting or working with families. We all need a listening ear at times or we might need information when we have a decision to make. When you call askonefamily you can expect to be listened to and given the right information that you need.

1890 66 22 12 is a lo-call number from land lines, but call rates to lo-call (1850/1890) numbers from mobile phones may vary. You should check specific details with your mobile service provider.

The process of separation or divorce can be confusing, distressing and lonely. For parents who are sharing parenting during and after separation, communication is essential, and both parents will want to protect their children and ensure that, no matter how the family situation may change, they know how loved they are. They will need to develop a shared parenting plan. But sometimes hurt or anger can lead to a breakdown, or even a cessation, of communication between parents.

The best way to achieve a workable parenting plan is one that is mediated or facilitated by a third party experienced in this area. The plan has a much better chance of success if both parents have contributed to its development and agree on an approach to shared parenting. One Family’s Mediated Parenting Plan service is offered by our Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Geraldine is qualified with a BA in Early Childhood Care & Education, in Preschool Care and Applied Social Studies, as a qualified Parent Mentor with a level 6 award in Parent Mentoring and in Effective Communications, and as a Mediator with recognition as a practicing international mediator specialising in parenting and family transitions. Geraldine has worked with people parenting alone, sharing parenting, their children, and families in transition with One Family since 2003.

Every family situation is different. What works for one may not work for another. One Family’s Mediation Service supports both parents to keep their child at the centre of parenting and to have as positive a relationship with one another as possible, so that they can parent in a productive way that promotes positive parenting.

If you would like to learn more about our Mediated Parenting Plan service – which is part of a suite of support services which also includes parent mentoring, counselling, shared parenting and positive parenting courses, and our askonefamily helpline –  please click here or call us on 01 662 9212.

National Mediation Awareness Week runs from 19 to 24 October 2015 with the aim of highlighting ‘the benefits of mediation and the opportunity it offers to resolve conflict right across our society’. Find out more here.

Every month a member of the One Family services team explains more about the particular supports they offer. This month, Parent Mentor Niki Williams writes about One Family mentoring supports available to all parents.

Parent Mentoring is a service where a parent can safely talk one to one with a trained professional about any concerns they may have with their family and child relationships. With sensitive guidance and practical suggestions, the mentor supports a parent to identify what is working well for their family and what could be changed.

Raising children can be a really challenging job yet most of us don’t evaluate our family relationships until a crisis forces us to. When living with a situation daily, it can be difficult to ‘see the wood for the trees’. Whether facing tantrums with toddlers, fussy eaters, children who won’t stay in their beds, unhappiness at school or a grunting teenager, it’s okay for a parent to need a listening ear and a helping hand sometimes. Parents always work hard to do their very best for their children.

A Parent Mentor will support a parent to take time to reflect and reach a new perspective on what’s happening. This is useful for any parent regardless of the age and stage of their child/ren.

I’m a Psychiatric Nurse, Counsellor, Parent Mentor and Trauma Therapist by training. I’ve also experienced challenging life events. In my experience, getting support doesn’t always mean solving the problem. It can mean maintaining a loving relationship even in the face of that problem. With increased knowledge about why parents and children behave the way they do, a more peaceful and enhanced home life can result for every member of the family.

One Family’s Parenting Mentoring service is now available in Cork, Dublin and Wicklow with additional regions being added later this year. This is a low-cost service charged on a sliding scale from €20-€60. To book, call 01 662 9212 or click here to complete a short booking form.

Next, you might like to read what One Family Counselling Support Worker, Lisa Maguire, wrote last month about our services for Young People in Care.

Every month a member of the One Family services team explains more about the particular supports they offer. This month, Counselling Support Worker Lisa Maguire writes about One Family supports available to young people in care.

This service is for young people who are pregnant or already parenting and who are in care or have a care history. A range of emotional and practical supports are available through pregnancy and into parenthood. Young people can self-refer to the service. Because the service is client-led, interventions are tailored to meet their stated needs. Such ‘interventions’ might include assistance with accessing entitlements; one-to-one parenting sessions; advocating on behalf of clients to relevant authorities, and the provision of ‘listening ear’ support. This service works closely with One Family’s unplanned pregnancy counselling service too.

Young people with a care history might not have any dependable adults in their lives to whom they can turn for support, information and guidance. Our service offers these supports. Becoming a parent, especially for a young person, involves many changes and often many challenges; accessing support during the transition to parenthood can increase a sense of ‘being prepared’ and can reduce associated stress.

My interest in justice and equality and in empowering those most marginalised in our society led me to complete a degree in Social Studies in Social Care in 2003. Since then I’ve worked in a number of different sectors including the youth and residential care sector, with people who are homeless, and in the field of mental health.

One Family’s Young People in Care service gives me the opportunity to work in a client-centred service where clients develop a sense of their strengths and capabilities.

This is a free service which can be contacted directly by young people who can call or text me on 086 079 3072 or email me to find out more about it or to book an appointment. We also take referrals, and professionals working with young people can call me on 01 662 9212.

A relationship ending can mean a huge sense of loss, shock and disbelief, and result in anger, fear and stress. There are many practical issues to be sorted out which can seem overwhelming, particularly in a difficult break-up without both persons cooperating. These practical issues need attention and the sooner separating parents begin resolving them, the sooner the family can settle into new routines and arrangements.

5 Ways to Cope with the End of a Relationship

1. Talk to your children about what is happening in the family, once the decision to separate is final. Mums and dads might like to think children are not aware of difficulties between them but they often notice more than you think and it is important to let them know that the separation is not their fault. It is an emotional and uncertain time for all of you. If you can talk to them together it can help your children to understand that you are both available to them at this time, despite what is happening. Share future plans and arrangements with them, if possible.
2. Set aside the issues of your adult relationship when it comes to the relationship that your children have with their other parent – try to remain courteous towards them or if this is too difficult, be neutral as your children love both of you.
3. Find someone you trust to talk to. Get support from a trusted friend or professional – family members can also be supportive in many ways although sometimes may be less impartial, especially when there may be conflict between the couple.  It is important that you have a space to talk about how you are feeling.
4. Consider mediation. This can be a way of negotiating and working out a plan for the future, on everything from money to sharing parenting.  See www.legalaidboard.ie for details of the free Family Mediation Service in many locations around the country.
5. Get legal advice. You do not need to do anything with it but it may help in your decision-making to know where you stand legally and what options may be there, if needed. See FLAC (Free Legal Aid Advice Centres) on www.flac.ie for details of the legal advice centre nearest you.

There is no denying that this is a particularly difficult time but trying to remain optimistic and acknowledging your feelings will help. One Family’s national lo-call askonefamily helpline is available on 1890 662 212 and by email at support@onefamily.ie.

Further information is also available in the askonefamily section of this site.

Some people will no longer qualify for the One Parent Family Payment (OFP) from 4 July 2013. If you are getting no other payment you may qualify for other income supports. A Jobseeker’s Allowance transition payment is available, which aims to support lone parents with children under 14 years of age back into the workforce. You need to make a new claim for these payments.

If you are working and are already getting a Family Income Supplement (FIS) your FIS payment will automatically increase when your OFP ends. This will partially make up for the loss of the OFP.

If you are unsure of what you can access and are struggling financially, please call our askonefamily Lo-call Helpline on 1890 662 212 or email us.

Q&A

1.    Q. My payment is due to end in July as my youngest child is 18, can I avail of the Jobseeker’s Allowance – Transition scheme?

A:  No, the Jobseeker’s Allowance – Transition scheme will only apply to those whose youngest child is under 14 so if you are applying for Jobseeker’s Allowance you will be subject to the full conditionality of being available for and genuinely seeking full time work.

2.    Q. My payment is due to end in July and my youngest child is 11.  I am working 5 mornings a week from 10 to 12 noon, can I apply for Jobseeker’s Allowance – Transition?

A:  Yes, because your child is under 14 you can apply for Jobseeker’s Allowance – Transition and although you are employed for 5 days in the week you are still eligible for this payment, subject to the means test.

3.   Q. I started receiving OPF in November 2011. My child is 14 now and my payment is going to end as the age conditions changes from 14 to 12 in July.  What payment am I eligible for as I am job seeking already?

A: As your child is already 14 then you can apply for Jobseeker’s Allowance and you will need to meet the full conditionality of the payment of being available for and genuinely seeking full time work.

As part of our 40th celebrations, we interviewed some of the original founder members of One Family – listen to their moving memories and insights into parenting alone 40 years ago, and how things have and haven’t changed….Evelyn Forde, Annette Hunter-Evans,  Margaret Murphy, Gráinne Farren  and one of the first staff members, Nuala Feric .

Our New Futures programme has been nominated for Social Innovation for Communities (SI-C) which aims to import successful solutions to solve critical social problems in Barcelona. The SI-C is an initiative by UpSocial, in partnership with the City of Barcelona, the Government of Catalonia and Citymart.com.

New Futures provides a valuable solution to the challenge of increasing the opportunities of single-parent families with children and reduce their risk of exclusion and poverty.

A new website has been set up with information on the upcoming Children’s Referendum. It proposes to place a dedicated Article in the Constitution, which has children as its central focus.

www.childrensreferendum.ie

One Family Parenting Co-ordinator Geraldine Kelly is giving a workshop on Managing Family Separation, for Dublin City Childcare Focus Group, it’s free of charge on Wednesday, 24th October from 6:00-8:30pm at Wynn’s Hotel, 35-39 Lower Abbey Street, Dublin 1

Topics covered will include:

• • The relationship between the childcare provider and parent
• • Telling a child about family separation
• • Supporting the child’s needs
• • Impact on the parents (resident and non-resident)
• • Moving on—parenting plans
• • New family dynamics
• • Contact centres & how to access them
• • Family mediation

The closing date for booking is Friday, 19th October 2012. 01 222 3259 community.forum@dublincity.ie

Stressed out about getting the kids, and yourself, ready to go back to school? One Family’s tips should help!

http://www.onefamily.ie/wp-content/uploads/Level-4-Relationships-Back-to-School1.pdf

Frances Fitzgerald TD, Minister for Children and Youth Affairs will launch a public consultation on improving the lives of children and young people on Monday, 11th June 2012. Consultation forms can be completed on-line or in hard copy. The closing date for the consultation is Friday, 6th July 2012.

The consultation will inform the development of all key policies and strategies within the Department over the next five years.

Please see HSE website http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/News/consultation2012.html for more

We got loads of press coverage for the launch of our new Child Contact Centre service which is great. Here is One Family Director Karen Kiernan on The Last Word with Matt Cooper explaining all about it at 15 minutes into the clip. http://media.todayfm.com/listenback/98/monday/1/popup

Here is the Briefing document on Changes to OFP  from DSP on the (final) changes to the One Parent Family payment following the budget. If you’ve any questions feel free to contact askonefamily helpline 1890622122. Several additional points that came up in the discussion were:

• OPFP recipients who move on to the back to education scheme would not return to OPFP as new claimants but retain their original relation to the phasing in of the age reduction.
• The non-cohabitation rule will not apply to new OPFP recipients who move on to a CE scheme, because with the loss of double payments the criteria applicable to them will be only those of the CE scheme. This is only for NEW applicants, those who are currently on CE scheme and in receipt of double payment (their OPFP) would need to meet the non-cohabitation rule.
• The loss of the double qualified child increase for those OPFP recipients on CE will have this change automatically applied to their payment and will not need to contact Social Welfare.
• OPFP recipients who move on to CE scheme will not lose their fuel allowance.
• And finally, in relation to the phasing in of the new eligibility criterion, the date that the payment is cut is the child’s birthday and not the beginning  of the year. So for example, if the cut-off is 7 years of age, and the child enters the year at the age of six, they will retain eligibility until they turn 7.

Niamh rang our askonefamily 1890 662212 helpline, here’s her personal story of parenting alone in Ireland in 2012. It will make you think….

I work in the Kildare area and am a single mother with two girls.  One eight year old and a three year old.

My youngest child goes to a local private creche four mornings and one afternoon and my eldest child has to go to the creche’s afterschool club at 2.45.  I depend on the help of my friend to collect her from school those days and drop her over to the after school club.

The cost is €120 a week and I dread the holidays and school breaks as it is a nightmare.  I have to pay for extra childcare for my eldest child. This can bring my childcare costs to €250 per week.  My wages are €320 a week and I receive at the moment €157 One Parent Family Payment, to be dropped to €148, with the earnings disregard dropping to €130 per week.  My work is of a caring and administrative nature. The children’s dad cannot help financially but does collect the children for me and takes care of the 3 year old when she isn’t at creche and I have to work. I have to be flexible on a week to week basis and never know until Friday what my next week’s work schedule will be.  The pressure and stress of this is sometimes unbearable.  I cannot hassle the children’s dad for money as a. I know he has none as he is unemployed at the moment and b. if he wasn’t unemployed I would have to pay a lot more childcare c.  I have to keep quiet with him as he is doing me a favour by collecting the children and looking after them when I need him to.  d. If he didn’t do this for me I wouldn’t be able to afford the extra childcare on my wages.  He enables me to keep my job.

My mortgage is €450 per month and I have a loan for house renovations as I had to get a new roof due to a major leak, payback of €100 per week.  I have furniture on H.P as we needed beds and a cooker and fridge and this is taken from my account every month.  I have union fees of €20 every month also and house insurance of €460, approx €8 a week. TV licence €3 per week, Bins €6 pw. ESB €20 pw, not inclusive of food and clothes and heat and the basics of living.  Now I have the €100 house charge and most likely water rates coming.

My children never had a holiday.  I work all summer to keep my head above water.  I feel guilty when my child tells me of her friend’s holidays.  I couldn’t get extra work with my employer as if I did, I would have to pay the creche extra.  The time is not available at work anyway and there is talk that we may be losing hours to keep the costs down.

I refuse to let this hurt or stop my children having a good life.  I sit and help with homework every evening and am making sure my children have a very good start in like with a good work ethic.  They realise you have to work to get money to live.  I do not want them thinking you don’t have to work for a living.

Unfortunately, while my children are so young I cannot contemplate taking on more work as they need me and will for many years.  These are their vulnerable years.  I started paying creche fees in 2003 and have paid approximately  €7500 a year, this is covering school summer holidays and Easter and Christmas breaks.  I have also had to pay for minders to come in when the children are sick and the creche won’t take them.  Double payment, as the creche still has to be paid.

Where it will all end, I do not know.  Why isn’t the government encouraging us single parents by giving us creche credits or a voucher for the creche that our children attend.  In that way,  we would be spending the money only on childcare, it would keep the creche in full employment creating jobs, reduce the number of people on the dole and leaving people with money to spend, thus creating more jobs.

I do not know why the government thinks that cutting our money will encourage people to want to work.  Sometimes I feel when I’m running around at six in the morning to get myself and two children ready for work and school and creche, what is the point? Why don’t I stay at home and be there all the time for the children. Forget creche, forget work, forget the stress of it all. Sell the house, pay the bank and go on the housing list and get help with my rent.  I’m trying to do everything right and I feel I am cut down at every turn.

Sorry for the ranting, it’s good to get it off my chest. But, I must be doing something right though as both my kids are very happy and the eldest was the top of her class in her Christmas exams.

Niamh, 2012

There is a meeting being organised on Weds 14 Dec in the Central Hotel Dublin to oppose the cuts to the One Parent family payment, supported by many lone parent groups. The purpose is to organise all groups to unite together for one big march, and a continuous campaign until these cuts are reversed. http://www.facebook.com/events/286957361347614/

We know that many of you are worried, angry and confused by what has been announced in Budget 2012 in relation to one-parent families.  We hear that many of you want to have your voices heard and the cuts reversed. Your comments, personal stories and views are essential so do please keep sharing not just with One Family but also with the media and our politicians. We want to have as many of these cuts reversed as possible because they are unfair and will lead to even deeper levels of poverty in one-parent families and will absolutely not help people into sustainable jobs.

We are sending a letter to all the Ministers, backbenchers and opposition TDs seeking meetings with them and calling on their support to reverse the cuts. We enclose a copy here

We are calling on you to help us by lobbying them as well.  Just adapt the enclosed letter and send it off yourself. Feel free to include your own story and issues. Visit your local TD in their clinic this weekend – speaking to people in person has a huge impact. Explain to them why it is not possible to cut poor families anymore and then expect them to work. We know many of you are interested in having a protest about this issue and this is something we would also like to look at with the help of other organisations so that we can mobilise enough people to be really seen and heard.

Please let us know who you have lobbied and if you are interested in a taking part in a protest by emailing info@onefamily.ie or calling 01 6629212

Remember, our askonefamily helpline is there to provide information and support should you need it on 1890 662212. We will post updates when we know the dates of implementation for the various cuts. Thanks from everyone in One Family.

One Parent Family Payment

 The rate of payment for the One Parent Family Payment will remain at €188 for the adult and €29.80 per child, per week.

The upper age limit of the youngest child for new claimants of the One-Parent Family Payment will be reduced to 7 years on a phased basis. It will be reduced to 12 years with effect from 2012, then age 10 in 2013 to age 7 in 2014.

There is a reduction in the amount of income disregard for One Parent Family Payment from €146.50 a week to €130 per week.  Further reductions will follow in the next four years.

The transitional payment of half of the rate of One-Parent Family Payment will be discontinued when the recipient’s earnings exceed €425 per week. Existing recipients of the transitional payment will not be affected.

Child Benefit

The amount of child benefit will remain at €140 a month for the first two children, then €148 for the third child and €160 for the fourth child and subsequent children.  Over two years the rate will be standardized for all children. (more…)

One Family would like to acknowledge the sad passing of our former colleague Leanne Kidd yesterday 25 October. Leanne was our first Keyworker and her positive energy and commitment helped many people move forward in their lives. We send condolences to her husband, family and many friends.

13 out of 15 lone parents who completed One Families’ Marks and Starts getting back to work programme have been offered part-time seasonal contracts.

Marks & Start is funded by Marks & Spencer and offers participants a pre-employment training course, followed by a two-week work placement with one of the most respected high street names and on-going support from One Family towards achieving their goals.

Stuart Duffin, One Family Welfare to Work Manager explains ‘The lone parents who take part learn what they’ve got to offer employers and how to present themselves positively in applications and interviews. They find out about childcare and how they can make working a practical and beneficial option. It’s a great way for someone to get a confidence boost, a sense of direction and a new awareness of the help that’s on offer. The placement with Marks and Spencer proves to participants and future employers alike that lone parents can combine being a parent with paid work.’

The next programme of Marks and Start is due to start in 2012 – please contact sduffin@onefamily.ie if you’d like to know more.