Coalition for YES welcomes divorce result

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The Coalition for YES, a coalition of NGOs and lawyers, have welcomed the resounding YES vote in the divorce referendum.

Speaking as the results rolled in, executive director of the Irish Council for Civil Liberties (ICCL), Liam Herrick, said: Ireland is obliged by European and international human rights law and standards to protect the right to privacy and family life. With this vote, we have taken a huge leap towards protecting the rights of people who need a divorce. It will also help to ensure that people who are stuck in dangerous or financially and emotionally distressing situations can be freed from them.

Karen Kiernan, CEO of One Family, said: This vote is a big step towards making Ireland a more compassionate and humane place for people going through a divorce. We know from our work with families separating that on a practical level it will reduce stress and financial expense for families.

Eilis Barry, Chief Executive of the Free Legal Advice Centres (FLAC), said: FLAC welcomes the positive result today, this is a much needed step to reduce the pressure on divorcing couples navigating the legal system. However further progress is needed. There needs to be serious investment in the area of family law in particular with regards to the provision of legal aid and the much needed overhaul of the family law courts.

Keith Walsh, family law solicitor and Lawyers for Yes, said The result of the change to the constitution will help separating couples and their children. It is a victory for progressive changes to family law. Ministers Madigan and Flanagan deserve great credit for ensuring this referendum was brought and passed. But, in case they are resting on their laurels, there is still more reform of the family law system urgently needed. A dedicated family law court system is long overdue as is the immediate replacement of the Victorian courthouse currently used for District Court cases for the Dublin area. Basic resources are required to ensure the voice of the child is heard in the family law courts and to ensure the rights of children are vindicated and protected.

Tanya Ward, chief executive of the Children’s Rights Alliance, said: This referendum was essential to address our punishing divorce laws. Children need to be protected during divorce. Our new divorce law and family supports need to be designed with this in mind. The Coalition for YES is a coalition of organisations and lawyers, led by the Free Legal Advice Centres, the Children’s Rights Alliance, One Family, family law practitioner Keith Walsh, solicitor Muriel Walls, Catherine Forde BL and the Irish Council for Civil Liberties.

ENDS:

Vote YES and make Ireland a more compassionate place.

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By voting YES tomorrow you can help to change the lives of thousands of men, women and children across Ireland. People don’t marry thinking they will divorce but sometimes it happens and we need a compassionate and considered response to this reality.

In our work with couples and families separating, we see the devastation that the long wait period can have on each member of the family. Lives put on hold while they wait. Waiting that can breed conflict and resentment. We see people who have thoroughly moved on from the relationship, who obtained degrees, post-graduate degrees and started new families while they wait. 

Tomorrow please have a plan in place to get to your voting station to cast your vote; it is important. By voting YES, you can reduce some of the stress and conflict on these families. You will be able to give people the time they need to make the decision that is right for them and their children. A shorter divorce process can also be beneficial for children who will gain greater certainty about their family situation.

The referendum will not change the constitutional requirements that mean that before a divorce can be granted a Court must be satisfied that proper provision has been made for both spouses and their children and that there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation before a divorce can be granted.

The referendum also means that legally obtained foreign divorces can be recognised more readily in Ireland as this causes significant difficulties for many people who wish to remarry here.

Voting Yes means we can:

  • Remove unnecessary restrictions on divorce from the Constitution that cause uncertainty and conflict for families and children.
  • Make a difficult process more compassionate and give a couple the time they need to make the decision that is best for them and their children.
  • Recognise that the Constitution is not the right place to deal with complex personal issues.

Tomorrow please vote YES and make Ireland a more compassionate place.

Thank you.

Coalition for YES – Letter to the Editor of the Irish Times

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Dear Sir,

The Irish electorate will be asked to vote in an important referendum on divorce this Friday. As a coalition of civil society organisations we are calling for a yes vote so that we can have a better, more compassionate process for people who need it.

On Friday, people will be asked to approve an amendment to the Constitution to remove the requirement for spouses to live apart for a minimum of four years out of the preceding five when applying for a divorce.  The new proposals would reduce that to two years out of the previous three.  For people who got divorced abroad, a yes vote means they will clarify the law on the recognition of foreign divorces.

By voting yes, we can reduce some of the stress and conflict linked to the divorce process. We will be able to give a couple the time they need to make the decision that is right for them and their children. A shorter divorce process will also be beneficial for children who will have greater clarity about their living situation. The referendum will not change the constitutional requirements that before a divorce can be granted a Court must be satisfied that proper provision has been made for both spouses and their children and that there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation before a Divorce can be granted.

The Constitution is not the right place to deal with complex personal relationships. By voting yes on Friday we can create a more compassionate and supportive divorce process for couples and families in Ireland.

Yours sincerely,

Orla O’Connor, Director, National Women’s Council of Ireland

Liam Herrick, Executive Director, Irish Council for Civil Liberties

Eilis Barry, Chief Executive, FLAC (Free Legal Advice Centres)

Keith Walsh, Lawyers for YES

Karen Kiernan, CEO, One Family

Divorce and the Constitution – Irish Times

Questioning Child

10 Ways to Understanding How Your Child May Feel During Separation

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Whatever the circumstances, parental separation is hard on families and big changes must be made. Keeping their children at the centre of parenting and responding to the thoughts, feelings and questions a child may have, will help parents to help their child.

Research shows that children normally experience one or more of the following reactions to the separation of their parents:

  1. Loyalty conflict: Children often get caught in the middle.
  2. Does Mum or Dad love someone else?: Although Mum or Dad might not love each other, it is important to reassure the child that they love him/her.
  3. I don’t want to come over today: As they get older, children’s interests vary. They may not want to visit a parent and may just want to spend more time with their friends.
  4. Fantasies of responsibility and reconciliation:  Children may feel they are responsible for their parents’ separation. They may dream up plans to get their parents to reconcile.
  5. Why don’t you love Mum or Dad anymore?: It is not uncommon for children to ponder this question. Often children will blame the parent who they believe initiated the separation and view the other parent as a victim.
  6. If you do not come home, I will never speak to you again: The purpose of a statement like this is to make the parent feel guilty so that they will return home.
  7. Anger: Children between the ages of 8-16 years can experience intense anger. They can often be most angry with the parent they blame for separation, but they may express anger only towards the parent they view as the ‘safest’, usually the resident parent.
  8. What should I tell my friends?: If you want your child to share the situation with others, you must be able to do the same. Encourage your child to be honest about the situation.
  9. Why are you separating?: Children are more likely to ask this if they have not been given a clear explanation for the separation.
  10. Worry about the future: The child may worry about the future. This is more likely to occur where there is parental conflict around contact and maintenance. Parents need to listen to their child’s worries and talk honestly and openly with them about any concerns.

One Family’s  Family Communications –  Parenting When Separated course starts in May 2019 please see details here.  One Family also offer a range of services to parents sharing parenting or parenting alone after separation. You can find out about them here. If you need support, information or advice, contact our lo-call askonefamilyhelpline on 1890 66 22 12 / support@onefamily.ie.

askonefamily helpline develops new information resources for parents

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The askonefamily helpline has developed the first in a series of new information resources to help one-parent families

These are the first in a series of new resources the Askonefamily helpline is developing to make information more accessible to parents.

About askonefamily

askonefamily provides information on: social welfare entitlements and issues, family law issues, housing, education, finances, childcare, parenting and community supports. We also offer support for those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.

Call a trained askonefamily team member on 01 662 9212* or email helpline@onefamily.ie.