Skip to Content
Call Our Helpline 01 662 9212

[av_textblock]

[/av_textblock]

[av_image src=’https://onefamily.ie/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/CourtingDisaster_2019.jpg’ attachment=’16881′ attachment_size=’full’ align=’center’ styling=” hover=” link=” target=” caption=” font_size=” appearance=” overlay_opacity=’0.4′ overlay_color=’#000000′ overlay_text_color=’#ffffff’ animation=’no-animation’ admin_preview_bg=”][/av_image]

[av_textblock size=” font_color=” color=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=”]

 ‘Courting Disaster’ coalition calls on Government to urgently allocate funding for a dedicated Family Law Court

[/av_textblock]

[av_hr class=’invisible’ height=’20’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’center’ custom_border=’av-border-thin’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=” custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’yes’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’ admin_preview_bg=”]

[av_textblock size=” font_color=” color=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=”]
Vulnerable members of society without the most basic of facilities in Family Court, campaign group says

 

For immediate release: December 10, 2019: Barnardos, Children’s Rights Alliance,  Community Law and Mediation, Dublin Rape Crisis Centre Family Lawyers Association, FLAC, National Women’s Council Ireland, One Family, The Bar of Ireland, The Law Society and Women’s Aid have formed a coalition to highlight the archaic conditions in which family law and childcare cases are currently being heard in Ireland.

The eleven organisations are launching the ‘Courting Disaster’ Campaign in Dublin today, calling on Government to immediately allocate the funding required to develop a dedicated Family Law Court at Hammond Lane in Smithfield in Dublin.

It has been agreed in principle for some time that a dedicated Family Law Court is required but agreement has yet to be reached on its structure and funding. In October 2019 The Joint Oireachtas Committee on Justice and Equality recommended that the necessary funding be allocated as a matter of urgency.

In a joint statement, the Courting Disaster Campaign Group said; “A properly functioning courts system is essential to providing access to justice. Some of the most vulnerable members of society seeking to resolve family law proceedings, often arising from relationship and marital breakdown and domestic violence, are currently faced with wholly unsuitable and inconsistent court facilities where not even basic needs are met, such as separate waiting areas, family friendly spaces and consultation rooms to allow for privacy.   These archaic conditions significantly increase stress and anxiety in what are typically very sensitive cases, and this can result in volatility and even violence in the course of family law litigation.

“A more effective and efficient administrative organisation of the court structure and improvement in court facilities will undoubtedly have a positive impact on the management of family law applications and lead to reductions in delays and cost which is in the interest of all parties to proceedings.

“The site at Hammond Lane is ready and awaiting the construction of dedicated family law facilities. We are calling on Government to make the necessary funding available without any further delay, so that the deficiencies in the current family law system can begin to be addressed,” the Courting Disaster Campaign Group stated.

In order to ensure access to justice for family court users, and to meet Ireland’s obligations under the United Nations Convention on The Rights of The Child, the Courting Disaster Campaign Group is calling for the following immediate actions;

 

Ends/

A photo call with representatives from all the partners in the Courting Disaster Campaign Group – Barnardos, Children’s Rights Alliance, Community Law and Mediation, Dublin Rape Crisis Centre, Family Lawyers Association, FLAC, National Women’s Council Ireland, One Family, The Bar of Ireland, The Law Society and Women’s Aid – will take place at the vacant site on Hammond Lane, Church Street, beside Phoenix House on Tuesday 10th December at 8am. You are invited to attend or to send a representative.
[/av_textblock]

The latest Survey on Income and Living Conditions (SILC) report published on 28 November 2019 shows that lone parent families continue to be the poorest families with children in this State. They endure the highest rates of all types of poverty for families (‘at risk’, ‘deprivation’ and ‘consistent’ poverty).

While One Family welcomes the drop in rates since last year, the ‘at risk’ and ‘consistent’ poverty rate drops are not statistically significant and continue to keep one-parent families trapped in poverty.

Numerous Government and independently commissioned reports have identified the issues and offered similar conclusions – lone parents need targeted supports to help them and their children out of poverty.  While we welcome measures in Budget 2020 that offered supports to working lone parents more needs to be done.

Creating a child-centred response to poverty, which includes full recognition of diverse family forms, will stop the extreme inequality between different types of families in Irish society, as we outline in our Pre-Budget submission 2020.

At risk of poverty rates for lone parents

Definition of At Risk of Poverty: Households with incomes below 60% of the national median income of €264 per week / €13, 723 per annum are at risk of poverty.

Deprivation rates for lone parents

Lone parents continue to struggle to meet living costs for themselves and their children every day. Housing, food, heating and clothing costs continue to put lone-parents under considerable stress, with the costs of schooling adding to this burden. Ireland is not a poor country and government needs to introduce targeted supports for one-parent families. Government commitments through the Better Outcomes, Brighter Futures strategy to lift 100,000 children out of poverty by 2020 must be met if these trends are to be reversed in a stable and consistent manner.

Definition of Deprivation: Households that are systematically financially marginalised from availing of the goods and services considered the norm for most people in society are considered to be enduring ‘deprivation’.   Deprivation is the inability to afford at least two of the eleven basic deprivation indicators outlined below. Furthermore, experiencing two or more of these indicators, for example, going without a substantial meal for  24 hours and being cold because it is too expensive to heat a home, creates ‘enforced deprivation’ for many lone-parent households.

  1. Two pairs of strong shoes
  2. A warm waterproof overcoat
  3. Buy new (not second-hand) clothes
  4. Eat meal with meat, chicken, fish (or vegetarian equivalent) every second day
  5. Have a roast joint or its equivalent once a week
  6. Had to go without heating during the last year through lack of money
  7. Keep the home adequately warm
  8. Buy presents for family or friends at least once a year
  9. Replace any worn out furniture
  10. Have family or friends for a drink or meal once a month
  11. Have a morning, afternoon or evening out in the last fortnight for entertainment

Consistent poverty rates for lone parents

Definition of Consistent Poverty:  Households living with incomes below 60% of the national median income of €240 per week, and experiencing deprivation based on the 11 deprivation indicators outlined above, are living in consistent poverty.

How Poverty Traps:

Time plays a role in poverty. We know that the longer any lone-parent family is exposed to an ‘at risk of poverty’ category, the more likely they are to start experiencing enforced deprivation. These two types of poverty combined then force lone parent families into ‘consistent poverty’.  Consistent poverty is living in a poverty trap, where the daily and weekly living is nearly always living ‘on the back foot’, never able to plan head, participate in social life easily, and are usually always in some type of debt. (See EAPN for further poverty analyses: https://www.eapn.ie/poverty/understanding-poverty/)

Read our Press Release on the SILC results:

[Dublin, Thursday 28 November] The latest Survey on Income and Living Conditions (SILC 2018) results  show that one-parent families are now four times as likely than two-parent households to live in consistent poverty. While One Family welcomes the drop in both ‘at risk’ and ‘deprivation’ poverty rates since last year, ‘consistent’ poverty rate drops are not statistically significant at 1.5%,  and continue to keep one-parent families locked in poverty.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, says. “Hidden behind these figures are parents struggling to put food on the table and clothes on children’s backs, keeping them in school. The SILC report reflects what we are hearing daily through our helpline and through our family support services. Parents and children are being crushed by poverty. While there were some welcome measures in Budget 2020 the consistent poverty rate remains too high. Repeated Government  and independently commissioned reports have set out what needs to be done so now Government just need to act.”

Valerie Maher, One Family Policy & Programmes Manager, says: “Lone parents continue to struggle to meet the most basic costs of living including housing, food, heating and clothes. This is unacceptable and should not be normalised. While we welcome the drop in enforced deprivation rates, we note that consistent poverty remains a core problem. This needs an whole-of-Government response to be reversed. Government need to do more if it’s to meet its own target of lifting 100,000 children out of poverty by 2020.

In 2018, individuals living in households where there was one adult with children aged under 18 continue to have the highest consistent poverty rate at 19.2% or nearly a fifth of all one-parent families. This is compared to a consistent poverty rate of 5% for two-parent households. We know the causes of poverty in one-parent families largely arise from structural inequality. Government know the resolution to this problem is to develop these structural supports and they now need to act.

One-in-four families in Ireland is a one-parent family. Research shows that a key contributor to children’s futures is not the structure of their families but living in consistent poverty.

/Ends.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish. It is Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting, or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services.

These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 662212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie).

For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Link to SILC 2018

Link to One Family Pre-Budget Submission

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information/Scheduling

Noel Sweeney, Communications and Events Manager | t: 01 622 9212 or 085 7241294

Wednesday 9 October 2019

One Family welcomes the targeted measures in Budget 2020 for working lone parents and the commitment to fund research into child maintenance. Specifically, we welcome the targeted increases to help make work pay for lone parents and that restore payments to the ‘pre-cuts’ 2012 levels. These are: an increase of €15 in income disregards for the One-Parent Family Payment (OFP) and Jobseekers Transition Allowance (JST); an increase of €10 to the income threshold for the Working Family Payment for families with up to 3 children; and increases in the Qualified Child Increase (QCI) by €3 for over 12s and €2 for under 12s.

Karen Kiernan, CEO of One Family, said “We are pleased that Government has been listening to us and our colleagues over the past year and have implemented some of the specific and targeted measures that we looked for. However they did not deliver a Children’s Budget to support Ireland’s poorest children out of their daily poverty and they did not use the evidence available to them when making all decisions.”

One Family notes there are still inequalities in how one-parent families are treated in the social welfare code when compared to two-parent families and these issues need to be resolved as a matter of urgency. Kiernan continued: “we know the vast majority of Ireland’s poorest children live in one-parent families therefore we must target supports at them. Unnecessary barriers need to be urgently removed to ensure that lone parents are treated fairly particularly in relation to eligibility requirements for the Working Family Payment and the Back to School Clothing & Footwear Allowance. It is just not right to let children’s lives be restricted by poverty”.

Kiernan welcomed the commitment to the establishment of a statutory Child Maintenance Agency saying: “We are pleased that Minister Doherty has committed €150,000 to research this important issue. We hope this will include robust stakeholder engagement and feed into existing evidence and work on child maintenance.”

Kiernan also welcomed the fact that Minister Zappone listened to the concerns about lone parents at risk of losing out in the new National Childcare Scheme saying: “It is reassuring that lone parents can now stay on existing subsidies until August 2021 if this is helpful to them. An additional five hours per week for those on income-based subsidies is also something we looked for and have received.”

But we continue to have deep concerns about the impact of the Budget on the most vulnerable children. If we enter into a No Deal Brexit, which seems the most likely scenario, these families, who are already held back through poverty, will slip further behind. Brexit may well be an economic tsunami for them – particularly those families in rural Ireland where the economic impact of a No Deal may be most felt. Increases to carbon tax and knock-on effects on fuel and energy use are a real issue and will push the vulnerable into further poverty.

–        

-Ends  –

For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Link to One Family Pre-Budget Submission:

Link to One Family Child Maintenance Paper:

Link to One Family Budget Comparison document:

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information/Scheduling

Noel Sweeney, Communications and Events Manager | t: 01 622 9212 or 085 7241294

[Monday, September 16, 2019] One Family, Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating has called for the urgent rollout of specialist support services for families who are going through the long process of separating. The call comes as the charity launched its Annual Review for 2018 which has seen an 82% increase in demand for its services compared with 2017.

One Family CEO Karen Kiernan said, “Since 2017, there has been an 82% increase in requests for our services with a large spike in demand for services for families separating. Services such as our Tusla-funded, Separating Well for Children project show the depth of demand that exists from people going through the private family law system and similar services are urgently required nationwide. Through this project we have found ourselves frequently bridging gaps in services that exist for vulnerable separated parents and their children. This project deescalates the conflict within the family using mediation, parenting support as well as creative therapies for children, allowing parents to put aside their own grievances and focus on the welfare of their children.When families separate the first responder shouldn’t be a solicitor – instead child-focussed, affordable supports should be available locally”.

Ms. Kiernan added, “In 2018, we delivered over 8,430 intensive in-person supports, while our askonefamily helpline received over 4,000 queries, we would urge anyone who needs advice when separating to call our helpline on lo-call 1890 662 212. Demand for our services has never been higher partly due to the increased number of people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating. But it also reflects the poverty rates amongst lone parents who, because of spiralling homelessness and deprivation rates, are relying more and more on our services. We anticipate that demand for our services will increase in the years ahead and the Government must now look to urgently fund specialised support services for separated families in crisis throughout the country.”

/Ends.

Notes to editor:

About One Family One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families and people sharingparenting, or separating.

Key statistics from the One Family’s Annual Review 2018:

Statistics on one-parent families:

Link to One Family Annual Review 2018:

For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information/Scheduling

Noel Sweeney, Communications and Events Manager | t: 01 622 9212 or 085 7241294

Listening is not the same as hearing.  To listen means to pay attention not just to what is being said but how it is being said, including paying attention to the types of words used, the tone of voice and body language.  The key to understanding is effective listening. For this week’s ’10 Ways to …’ post offering parenting tips, we look at how to improve listening in the home.

  1. Do I listen? Ask yourself firstly what type of listener you are. Are you focused or distracted? Empathetic or impatient?
  2. Stop shouting: Children do not respond positively to shouting so try always to speak in a calm manner.
  3. Eye contact: When talking to your child, get down to their level and look them in the eye.
  4. Be clear: Do your children understand what you are saying to them? Clarify if needed.
  5. Family meetings: Talk as a family about what not listening to each other causes within the family – ask if everyone would like things to be better.
  6. Reward: Notice good listening and reward it.
  7. Remember: Put a note up somewhere, like on the fridge, to remind you as a parent to listen.
  8. Make time: Make time – at meals, when children come in from school, when parents come in from work – to talk with each other and listen to what others have to say.
  9. Active listening: Practice actively listening to what your children say. Down tools and stop what you’re doing to listen, or ask them to wait until you can give them 100% of your attention (but not too long).
  10. Building relationships: Listening to your child and other family members increases positive behaviour in the home and improves relationships.

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is compiled by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Remember, if you need a friendly ‘listening ear’, our askonefamily lo-call helpline is available on 1890 662 212.

One Family welcomes the news that the Department of Employment Affairs and Social Protection has changed the conditions for Back to Education Allowance (BTEA) for people in receipt of One-Parent Family Payment. Applicants no longer need to be out of education for 2 years to qualify, and they don’t have to be over 21. People can now qualify if they are over 18 and are receiving one of the specified payments for the required period of time (3 months or 78 days for Second Level Options (SLO), and 9 months (234 days) for Third Level Options (TLO). We hope that this will help people returning to education this autumn. Spread the word if you know anyone looking at courses and wondering about their entitlements.

Homework is considered to be beneficial in helping children to learn how to manage time, planning and priorities, and to learn independently and take responsibility. These are all skills that will help them in the future in many ways. Homework also helps teachers to determine how well students are understanding their lessons. It is important as parents that we support our children in doing their homework. This keeps us in touch with what’s happening at school and how our children are managing, and will help children to achieve academically throughout their education. As part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, here are our 10 Ways to Manage Homework with Primary School Children.

  1. Homework belongs to the child not the parent. Teach your child from entry to school that they are responsible for homework being done. Your role is to support your child with homework, but not to do it.
  2. Create the necessary environment for your child to work in. They need a calm space with no TV or other distractions. Allow them time to relax when they come in from school and have a snack and change of clothes ready.
  3. Always demonstrate an interest in your child’s homework, support them, champion them and stand up for them. You know them best, so encourage and support yet know when it’s time to stop. Know your limits and theirs.
  4. Encourage your child if they feel it’s too hard. Acknowledge that it is hard but tell them you know they can do it. If you find yourself being negative with them, or saying something like, “Yes, you are no good at maths”, then it is advisable to look at your own issues with homework.
  5. Set a start and end time for homework. Sometimes you may feel your child has too much homework on a particular day. Let the teacher know it will be completed by the end of the week rather than pushing a very tired child to finish it that evening.
  6. The National Parents Council offers a guide to the amount of time each age group should spend on homework, stating that in general the following guidelines apply:
    • Junior/Senior infants: No formal homework but perhaps some drawing, preliminary reading, matching shapes and pictures or listening to stories read by parents.
    • First/Second class: 20-30 minutes.
    • Third/Fourth class: 30-40 minutes.
    • Fifth/Sixth class: 40-60 minutes.
  7. When you are tired and your child is tired, it’s usually time to stop. Your level of patience will be lower. Remember that your relationship with your child is more important than homework.
  8. Arguing late in the evening over homework leaves everyone unsettled and stressed which can lead to bedtime routines being disrupted.
  9. Talk with the school/your child’s teacher if you feel your child cannot get their homework done without your help. Children should be able to do their homework alone with parents nearby. Your role should involve encouragement, checking it’s done, and testing them on key things such as spelling.
  10. Sometimes children need time off too. Explore how many extra activities they have on and look at creating down time for them. Would you like to bring home work every day? A school day is long and it is important to acknowledge all the work they have already done that day. Try not to focus on the areas they’re less successful at as this will do nothing for self-esteem and achieve nothing. Appreciate that children have a lot on and need you to recognise the effort they are making in every task.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

For support and advice on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

As summer winds down, it is time to start thinking about school again. For parents with young children, that means looking into preschools for your children. Sending your child to preschool for the first time is a big step in both you and your child’s life, and it is important to make sure both of you are prepared to take that step. There are many ways to see if your child is ready for preschool, and in this week’s edition of parenting tips, we look at 10 ways to prepare your child for preschool.

  1. Sit back and look at how much your child has grown in the past 3 years. Ask yourself if you are really supporting them to be more responsible, allowing them make choices and have more control over what they want and how they do things.
  2. Ensure your child is toilet trained and able to manage in the toilet unaided.
  3. Ensure your child can use a spoon to feed themselves, that they can recognise their belongings, get out their lunch and tidy away by themself.
  4. Support your child to learn the rules of friendship, taking turns, sharing, asking for what they want and being inclusive of all children.
  5. Play school with them at home. Help them act out their fears around school and through role play help them understand what will be expected of them in preschool.
  6. Explore with them how they need to behave in preschool and what will happen if they misbehave.
  7. Talk with them about the other children who will be there and how they will be very friendly with some and may not really like some children. Encourage them to have time for everyone and to aim to be friendly with all the children.
  8. Visit the preschool in advance. Understand the policies and procedures in advance as a parent and help your child know what their day will look like in preschool. There are great differences between many preschools.
  9. Keep preschool fresh in your child’s mind over the summer time. Help them be ready for school. Help them be confident by preparing them well and encouraging them to practice at home asking questions and resolving small disputes in a positive manner
  10. Don’t put any pressure on your child. It is not university, so relax about whether they know their colours and numbers. They will learn if they are happy and feel supported to do so.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or emailsupport@onefamily.ie.

Image credit: Pixabay

Misbehaving One way or another children will misbehave, but understanding the reason why can give parents the opportunity to develop positive coping mechanisms to address misbehaviour and in turn develop stronger and more positive relationships with their children.

  1. When thinking about the reasons why children misbehave it is perhaps useful to think firstly about what misbehaviour actually is.
  2. A lot of behavior is more an expression of energy and enthusiasm than any desire to misbehave.
  3. Misbehaviour may be the expression of the need for limits to be set.
  4. Building healthy self-esteem requires parents to provide their children with a predictable, safe environment.
  5. Positive attention is an essential ingredient to raising confident, happy children
  6. A child who receives regular positive attention learns that they are a valuable human being and learns ‘I am a worthwhile, interesting person’.
  7. Attention-seeking behaviour in children arises out of very real needs and any attention is better than no attention.
  8. Positive attention means using positive feedback to point out to your child the things that they do well.
  9. Be generous with praise and encouragement when it’s due.
  10. When you reward your child with an incentive be sure to add a comment that causes your child to think about doing the right thing.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

“Play date” or “playdate” is a US expression that has become popular in Ireland in recent years.  Simply put, a play date is an arranged appointment between parents for their children to get together for a few hours at home. Play dates support children to form friendships, to practice their social and relationship building skills, and increase their confidence. Friendships are an important part of life, and start in the preschool years. As part of our weekly series of parenting tips, here are our tips to help create positive play date experiences for your children and you, their friends and their friends’ parents.

  1. Play dates start with parent and child dates. Parents need to make time to meet other parents. Extend an invitation. It could start with arranging to be at the playground in the park at the same time.
  2. Some parents are not in a position to invite your child over to play at their house. Don’t expect the invite. Play dates are for your child’s development and they don’t need to get invited to other homes all the time. They will be happy for it to happen in their own home.
  3. Parents need to actively engage in play dates. Children need support to play well with other children. Always remain in the room with young children and as your child gets older, continue to fully supervise and always remain within earshot with doors open.
  4. Talk with your child prior to a play date. Agree what games will be played, what toys they are willing to share and in what parts of the house they will play in.
  5. Help children engage well in the games, both your child and the visitor. Support them to solve problems rather than you making the decisions. You are responsible for the visiting child’s well-being so you must protect their feelings also.
  6. Make sure you have the contact numbers of the visiting child’s parent/s or guardian. Be aware if they have any special needs or dietary requirements.
  7. Play dates are about play so avoid sugary treats.
  8. Praise your child after the play date. Tell them how well they did; be specific about what went well. Later talk with them about what did not go well and plan what to do differently next time.
  9. Be aware of how you deal with behavioural issues with your child and others. Be assertive in how you communicate with children and ensure they experience positive interactions in your home.
  10. Talk with the other parent if things are really not going well. Both parents will need to work together to support young children to play well. Don’t make judgements on children; they are young and have so much to learn. Our job as parents is to help and support them, not judge or condemn them.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

A family ritual, or tradition, is a practice within a family that has special meaning to family members. Family rituals provide a sense of belonging and continuity. They bring families closer together. It is often hard in our day and age to escape the pressures and daily stresses that make up our lives, but having rituals creates an opportunity for children to feel secure. Family routines and rituals not only improve family relationships, they also improve health and emotional well being, particularly for children.

As part of of our ‘10 Ways to‘ series of parenting tips, here are some ideas to help you in developing family rituals and traditions for your family.

  1. Think simple, not extravagant. An example of a simple and easy ritual is to eat together at least once every week.
  2. Set aside time each week. Create a time where you and your children can be together to play.
  3. Create your own special activity. For weekends, birthdays or celebrations, decide with the family how you really enjoy celebrating these occasions and go with that.
  4. Include your children in the planning.
  5. Create rituals that are meaningful to the whole family.
  6. Be different. Don’t be afraid to start a new or different kind of family tradition.
  7. Celebrate success. Acknowledge achievement within the family.
  8. Don’t be a perfectionist. There’s no need to stress if it does not work out exactly the way you envisaged and planned.  Things go wrong sometimes. A sense of bonding between the members involved is still created.
  9. Create a Family Event Jar. A family jar or box is a decorated jar used to save for the next big adventure. Decorate it with pictures and words of places you want to visit or have visited, or activities you enjoy. The jar becomes a daily visual reminder for all family members of something to look forward to.
  10. Rituals and traditions are something for all family member to enjoy together. Don’t fight your natural inclinations. You probably won’t stick with a tradition that isn’t working for all members of the family.

One Family offers a range of training options to help parents and guardians to build on their parenting skills which you can find out about here.

This week’s ’10 Ways to’ is adapted by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, from our Family Communications training programme.

For support and advice on any of these topics, call askonefamily on 1890 66 22 12.

Image credit: Freedigitalphotos.net/arztsamui

One Family call for the establishment of Statutory Child Maintenance Agency

[Dublin, 15 July 2019] One Family- Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting, and separating today released the results of a national survey of parents in relation to child maintenance. The launch comes as the charity launches its new child maintenance position paper.

Karen Kiernan, CEO explains: “We know from our services and particularly calls to our national helpline, askonefamily; that parents really struggle with understanding how to come to an agreement around how much child maintenance should be paid and what to do if it is not paid.  Nearly half of the respondents who are the primary carers of the children do not receive any child maintenance at all, whilst most people have had to resort to court to come to agreement.”

Of the 1,068 respondents to the survey 58% resorted to court order to agree child maintenance, while 42% of the parents who are primary carers do not receive any child maintenance. However, 75% of those who do receive payments reported that they are paid regularly. When it comes to agreeing how much parents should be paid only 9% of respondents said it was determined by the needs of the child.

Kiernan added, “We are launching our new position paper on the thorny issue of child maintenance as for too long governments have ignored it, happy to leave it to parents and courts to battle things out. This is not working for anyone as children and parents can end up financially worse off or abused, our courts are jammed delivering maintenance orders that they cannot enforce, and we are again decades behind our neighbours across Europe.”

“What we need is a statutory child maintenance agency as part of a comprehensive Court Welfare Service that can determine appropriate levels to be paid in a fair child-centred way; that has the ability to ensure that children and families actually receive the maintenance and removes this issue from our adversarial courts system.”

/Ends

Notes to editor:

About One Family One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting or separating.

Survey results and position paper:

Survey summary findings here:

One Family position paper on child maintenance here:

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information/Scheduling

Noel Sweeney, Communications and Events Manager | t: 01 622 9212 or 085 724 1294

Reports pile up with evidence about what needs to be done to unlock lone parents and their children from the poverty trap

[Dublin, Thursday 4 July] One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating has called on the Government to urgently implement the recommendations of the eight Government and independently commissioned reports published since 2016 on one-parent families and poverty. All eight reports make similar recommendations and urge the implementation of targeted supports for one-parent families. The call comes as One Family publishes its Pre-Budget Submission for Budget 2020 ahead of the Department of Employment Affairs & Social Protection’s Pre-Budget Forum on 5 July.

One Family CEO Karen Kiernan said, “In the last three years, eight reports on one-parent families and poverty have been published; and are now piling-up on shelves in Government departments. Each report paints a similar picture of children growing up in the grip of poverty. These families are consistently among the worse off in our society, they are disproportionately represented in the homelessness figures and the living standards of working one-parent families are now amongst the worst in Europe[1]. This is just not right – these are real families, with real children and their lives matter.We need targeted measures that support one-parent families to support themselves out of poverty. Government needs to prove it is listening to its own research and do the right thing.”

Ms. Kiernan added, “In our Pre-Budget Submission we have outlined eighteen targeted measures based on the research that, if implemented, would significantly change the lives of thousands of children. We want Government to respond to the evidence with compassion and justice in Budget 2020 by developing a cross-departmental response to the needs of one-parent families. If this problem is tackled now, we will avoid condemning another generation of children and their parents to poverty and this is not something we want as a society.”

To read the full details of our Pre-Budget Submission please click here.

Major Research on One-Parent Families since 2016:

Ends/

Notes to the Editor:

About One Family:

One Family is Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting, or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services.

These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 662212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today.

Statistics on one-parent families:

For further information visit: www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information/Scheduling

Noel Sweeney, Communications and Events Manager | t: 01 622 9212 or 085 7241294

[1] St. Vincent DePaul – Working, Parenting and Struggling (2019)

Dublin based training programme records 85% success rate in supporting lone parents to education and employment

[Dublin, 26 June 2019] Karen Kiernan, CEO of One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating has called on the Government to make the award-winning New Futures training programme available nationally. The European Social Fund (ESF) funded programme recorded an 85% success rate in 2018 and is currently only available in Dublin.  Ms Kiernan was speaking at a graduation ceremony for parents of the New Futures and New Steps programmes at the Irish Human Rights and Equality Commission offices in Dublin.

Ms Kiernan said, “The success of our programmes shows how targeted supports, such as these specialist training programmes, can support parents on social welfare out of poverty and back to education or employment. These parents are full of potential, hugely resilient, adaptable and committed; they are looking for support so they can support themselves and their families and this training should be available nationally, not just in Dublin.”

Ms Kiernan added, “The European Social Fund (ESF) have funded New Futures and New Steps for three years and we are extremely grateful for their support. But despite its success, the long-term future of the programme remains uncertain.We are calling on the Government and the Department of Employment Affairs & Social Protection to provide mainstream funding for these programmes so parents around Ireland can benefit. In 2018, 85% of graduates who completed New Futures went on to further education or employment. We must support parents so that they can support themselves out of poverty.”

New Futures graduate from 2018 and lone parent of four children, Louise Finnegan, said, “The programme has been hugely beneficial to me. I was supported and challenged to be the best person I could be. But it’s more than that, you feel part of a community and whatever challenges you face there is somebody there to lend a hand. Through the programme I’ve had the opportunity to travel to Luxembourg to speak at a conference and I returned to education last September. One of the best things about the course is that my children see me challenging myself, doing assignments and being confident and that helps their confidence and self-belief.”

Ms Kiernan added, “We are asking the Government and the Department to invest in targeted, measurable supports that make a tangible difference to parents’ lives. Government have all the evidence from their own reports including the Joint Oireachtas Committee for Social Protection Report on the Position of Lone Parents in Ireland – they know one-parent families are some of the poorest families in Ireland and they know what is required to address it. We are asking them to take a first step and fund a programme that is proven to work and to make it available in every county in Ireland.”

/Ends.

Notes to editor:

About One Family One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting, or separating.

One Family programmes:

All One Family’s programmes are specifically designed for those parenting alone or sharing parenting and incorporate 1:1 and wrap around family support services.

Statistics on one-parent families:

For further information visit: www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Valerie Maher, Programmes Manager

Further Information/Scheduling

Noel Sweeney, Communications and Events Manager | t: 01 622 9212 or 085 7241294

The New Futures project is part supported by the Irish Government and the European Social Fund as part of the ESF Programme for Employability, Inclusion and Learning (PEIL) 2014-2020

The Coalition for YES, a coalition of NGOs and lawyers, have welcomed the resounding YES vote in the divorce referendum.

Speaking as the results rolled in, executive director of the Irish Council for Civil Liberties (ICCL), Liam Herrick, said: Ireland is obliged by European and international human rights law and standards to protect the right to privacy and family life. With this vote, we have taken a huge leap towards protecting the rights of people who need a divorce. It will also help to ensure that people who are stuck in dangerous or financially and emotionally distressing situations can be freed from them.

Karen Kiernan, CEO of One Family, said: This vote is a big step towards making Ireland a more compassionate and humane place for people going through a divorce. We know from our work with families separating that on a practical level it will reduce stress and financial expense for families.

Eilis Barry, Chief Executive of the Free Legal Advice Centres (FLAC), said: FLAC welcomes the positive result today, this is a much needed step to reduce the pressure on divorcing couples navigating the legal system. However further progress is needed. There needs to be serious investment in the area of family law in particular with regards to the provision of legal aid and the much needed overhaul of the family law courts.

Keith Walsh, family law solicitor and Lawyers for Yes, said The result of the change to the constitution will help separating couples and their children. It is a victory for progressive changes to family law. Ministers Madigan and Flanagan deserve great credit for ensuring this referendum was brought and passed. But, in case they are resting on their laurels, there is still more reform of the family law system urgently needed. A dedicated family law court system is long overdue as is the immediate replacement of the Victorian courthouse currently used for District Court cases for the Dublin area. Basic resources are required to ensure the voice of the child is heard in the family law courts and to ensure the rights of children are vindicated and protected.

Tanya Ward, chief executive of the Children’s Rights Alliance, said: This referendum was essential to address our punishing divorce laws. Children need to be protected during divorce. Our new divorce law and family supports need to be designed with this in mind. The Coalition for YES is a coalition of organisations and lawyers, led by the Free Legal Advice Centres, the Children’s Rights Alliance, One Family, family law practitioner Keith Walsh, solicitor Muriel Walls, Catherine Forde BL and the Irish Council for Civil Liberties.

ENDS:

By voting YES tomorrow you can help to change the lives of thousands of men, women and children across Ireland. People don’t marry thinking they will divorce but sometimes it happens and we need a compassionate and considered response to this reality.

In our work with couples and families separating, we see the devastation that the long wait period can have on each member of the family. Lives put on hold while they wait. Waiting that can breed conflict and resentment. We see people who have thoroughly moved on from the relationship, who obtained degrees, post-graduate degrees and started new families while they wait. 

Tomorrow please have a plan in place to get to your voting station to cast your vote; it is important. By voting YES, you can reduce some of the stress and conflict on these families. You will be able to give people the time they need to make the decision that is right for them and their children. A shorter divorce process can also be beneficial for children who will gain greater certainty about their family situation.

The referendum will not change the constitutional requirements that mean that before a divorce can be granted a Court must be satisfied that proper provision has been made for both spouses and their children and that there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation before a divorce can be granted.

The referendum also means that legally obtained foreign divorces can be recognised more readily in Ireland as this causes significant difficulties for many people who wish to remarry here.

Voting Yes means we can:

Tomorrow please vote YES and make Ireland a more compassionate place.

Thank you.

Dear Sir,

The Irish electorate will be asked to vote in an important referendum on divorce this Friday. As a coalition of civil society organisations we are calling for a yes vote so that we can have a better, more compassionate process for people who need it.

On Friday, people will be asked to approve an amendment to the Constitution to remove the requirement for spouses to live apart for a minimum of four years out of the preceding five when applying for a divorce.  The new proposals would reduce that to two years out of the previous three.  For people who got divorced abroad, a yes vote means they will clarify the law on the recognition of foreign divorces.

By voting yes, we can reduce some of the stress and conflict linked to the divorce process. We will be able to give a couple the time they need to make the decision that is right for them and their children. A shorter divorce process will also be beneficial for children who will have greater clarity about their living situation. The referendum will not change the constitutional requirements that before a divorce can be granted a Court must be satisfied that proper provision has been made for both spouses and their children and that there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation before a Divorce can be granted.

The Constitution is not the right place to deal with complex personal relationships. By voting yes on Friday we can create a more compassionate and supportive divorce process for couples and families in Ireland.

Yours sincerely,

Orla O’Connor, Director, National Women’s Council of Ireland

Liam Herrick, Executive Director, Irish Council for Civil Liberties

Eilis Barry, Chief Executive, FLAC (Free Legal Advice Centres)

Keith Walsh, Lawyers for YES

Karen Kiernan, CEO, One Family

Divorce and the Constitution – Irish Times

Whatever the circumstances, parental separation is hard on families and big changes must be made. Keeping their children at the centre of parenting and responding to the thoughts, feelings and questions a child may have, will help parents to help their child.

Research shows that children normally experience one or more of the following reactions to the separation of their parents:

  1. Loyalty conflict: Children often get caught in the middle.
  2. Does Mum or Dad love someone else?: Although Mum or Dad might not love each other, it is important to reassure the child that they love him/her.
  3. I don’t want to come over today: As they get older, children’s interests vary. They may not want to visit a parent and may just want to spend more time with their friends.
  4. Fantasies of responsibility and reconciliation:  Children may feel they are responsible for their parents’ separation. They may dream up plans to get their parents to reconcile.
  5. Why don’t you love Mum or Dad anymore?: It is not uncommon for children to ponder this question. Often children will blame the parent who they believe initiated the separation and view the other parent as a victim.
  6. If you do not come home, I will never speak to you again: The purpose of a statement like this is to make the parent feel guilty so that they will return home.
  7. Anger: Children between the ages of 8-16 years can experience intense anger. They can often be most angry with the parent they blame for separation, but they may express anger only towards the parent they view as the ‘safest’, usually the resident parent.
  8. What should I tell my friends?: If you want your child to share the situation with others, you must be able to do the same. Encourage your child to be honest about the situation.
  9. Why are you separating?: Children are more likely to ask this if they have not been given a clear explanation for the separation.
  10. Worry about the future: The child may worry about the future. This is more likely to occur where there is parental conflict around contact and maintenance. Parents need to listen to their child’s worries and talk honestly and openly with them about any concerns.

One Family’s  Family Communications –  Parenting When Separated course starts in May 2019 please see details here.  One Family also offer a range of services to parents sharing parenting or parenting alone after separation. You can find out about them here. If you need support, information or advice, contact our lo-call askonefamilyhelpline on 1890 66 22 12 / support@onefamily.ie.

The askonefamily helpline has developed the first in a series of new information resources to help one-parent families

These are the first in a series of new resources the Askonefamily helpline is developing to make information more accessible to parents.

About askonefamily

askonefamily provides information on: social welfare entitlements and issues, family law issues, housing, education, finances, childcare, parenting and community supports. We also offer support for those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.

Call a trained askonefamily team member on 01 662 9212* or email helpline@onefamily.ie.

(Dublin, Tuesday 15 May) On UN International Day of the Family, One Family, Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, separating and sharing parenting calls on the Government to change the Parental Leave Act to give lone parents the same leave entitlements as two parent families.

One Family CEO Karen Kiernan explained: “While we warmly welcome the Parental Leave Act 2019 we are calling for Minister for Employment Affairs and Social Protection, Regina Doherty, to change the provisions of the Act to give one-parent families the same leave entitlements as two-parent families.

“Our concern is that leave is to be non-transferrable between parents. So, while two-parent families can maximise the amount of time they spend with their babies, those who are parenting alone have only a limited period. We ask that the fourteen weeks of paid parental leave available to parents in a two-parent family is made available to a lone parent. This is in order to provide equal access for the baby to their parent in this critical time.”

Kiernan further comments: “Currently the only reference to transferring leave to an entitled parent in the Bill is where one parent dies, which means that the Scheme is recognising only one type of lone parent thus ignoring others. We call on the Minister to fix this anomaly.  There should be an exception made to the non-transfer rule for lone parents to other designated people and for the sake of their babies we are asking the Minister to make this change.”

Notes:

Read about the EU Work Life Balance Directive – http://www.coface-eu.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/COFACE-Families-Europe-Assessment-on-the-EU-Work-Life-Balance-Directive.pdf

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to those working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-callaskonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, Director of One Family | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information

Noel Sweeney, Communications Manager | t: 01 662 9212 or 085 7241294

Leading national NGOs come together to call for a Yes vote in the upcoming Divorce Referendum

Five leading national organisations came together today in a coalition calling for a Yes vote in the upcoming referendum in relation to divorce on Friday 24 May.

FLAC (Free Legal Advice Centres), the Irish Council for Civil Liberties (ICCL), One Family, the National Women’s Council of Ireland (NWCI) and the Lawyers for Yes have all come together to call on voters in Ireland to support a referendum that will deliver a better divorce system for people who need it.

On 24 May, people will be asked to approve an amendment to the Constitution to remove the requirement for spouses to live apart for a minimum of four years out of the preceding five when applying for a divorce.  The new proposals would reduce that to two years out of the previous three. It is also proposed for the vote that foreign divorces are recognised here. There will be one question on the ballot paper and voters can either vote Yes to allow both changes, or No to reject both changes.

Karen Kiernan, CEO of One Family said: ‘We know from supporting thousands of separating parents and families that we need a more humane and compassionate divorce system in Ireland and this referendum is a step towards achieving that.’

Jennifer McCarthy Flynn, Head of Policy of NWCI explained: ‘Nobody marries imagining they are going to need to go through a divorce process. However, circumstances change and some couples will decide that divorce is the best way forward for them and their family. We should be supporting them in order to decrease the stress and conflict involved, not making it unnecessarily difficult.’

Liam Herrick, Executive Director of ICCL said: ‘We have repeatedly seen that our Constitution is not the right place for complex detail relating to family life – we believe that it is more appropriate to remove the wait time for divorce from the Constitution altogether and allow Government legislate in this area.’

Keith Walsh, Lawyers for Yes Campaign explained: ‘It is really important that we continue to take steps towards a complete reform of our divorce and family law system in Ireland to bring it into the 21st century. We still need to see the Family Law legislation published; new specialist child and family  court system as well as a new Children’s and Family Law Courthouse in Hammond Lane built; and appropriate resources for courts to deal with the current volume of work.’

Eilis Barry, Chief Executive of FLAC concluded by stating:

‘The irreconcilable breakdown of a marriagecan cause a great deal of stress both emotionally and financially for families. The current 4 year wait period is an extra unnecessary barrier to accessing a legal remedy for these families. This referendum is a chance to improve the process for those in an already difficult situation.

/ENDS

Contact:

Caroline Smith, FLAC Media and Communications Officer    01-887 3600 / 0862618543 Email: caroline.smith@flac.ie

Noel Sweeney, One Family Communications Manager          016629212 | 085-7241294 Email: nsweeney@onefamily.ie

Sinéad Nolan, ICCL Public Engagement and Communications Officer   0874157162 Email: sinead.nolan@iccl.ie

Spokespersons Contact:

Silke Paasche, Head of Communications, NWCI, Tel. 085 858 9104

Links to organisations websites.

Parenting can bring many challenges and when you are stressed these challenges can seem even more difficult to face. Here are some tips on how you can manage your stress levels and teach your children that while it may be unpleasant, stress is a part of everyday life. However, it is also important to show them how to manage stressful situations and to help them develop their emotional strength in order to cope with life’s challenges.

  1. It is vital that parents learn to manage their stress and to develop strategies for dealing with difficult life and relationship issues.
  2. When parents cannot manage their stress this rubs off on children and they can become stressed or depressed.
  3. Learning the importance of support and the strength inherent in being able to ask for help is a skill that will take parents a long way.
  4. Children can also become stressed in their own right so parents can model good stress management for their children.
  5. In order to feel good about ourselves we need others to care about and care for.
  6.  Knowing what help is out there in times of stress can bring a real sense of relief.
  7. Each of us needs a support system and this can come in many forms. Family members and even just one close friend can make all the difference to our emotional well being.
  8. Parents with children of similar ages can provide excellent support for each other through the mutual sharing of experiences.
  9. In order to parent well you need to be a good parent to yourself. Minding yourself is the key to keeping your stress levels down.
  10. Keeping a focus on your child’s well being can also have a diminishing effect on your own stress levels.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Who is looking after the Working Poor?

Government inaction on childcare and housing means that work does not pay for many one-parent families

[Dublin, 5 March] One Family, Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating said that Government inaction on childcare and housing means that work does not pay for many one-parent families. The statement comes following the publication of a new report from the Society of St Vincent de Paul (SVP), entitled Working, Parenting and Struggling, which found that the rate of in-work poverty among lone parents more than doubled between 2012 and 2017.

 CEO of One Family Karen Kiernan said, “Successive Governments have pushed one-parent families off social welfare but have failed to put adequate supports such as income supports, accessible childcare or housing supports in place to make work pay. This new report from SVP adds to the pile of Government-commissioned research and independent research all saying the same thing – the majority of lone-parents and their children are living way below the poverty line and forcing them off social welfare into low-paid precarious employment is not working.”

Ms Kiernan added, “The Indecon report (2017) which examined the impacts of Budget 2012 cuts on lone parents, said 63% of respondents in full-time employment couldn’t afford 3+ items on the deprivation list, meaning that they are experiencing deprivation daily, and in-work poverty. Who is concerned about the fact that they are fulfilling Government policy by working full-time but their children are suffering?

The SVP’s Working, Parenting and Struggling report states that lone parents in Ireland are almost 5 times more likely to experience in-work poverty than other households with children (20.8% compared to 4.2%). Figures that are backed up in the SILC report published in December 2018  which said that individuals living in households where there was one adult with children aged under 18 continue to have the highest consistent poverty rate at 20.7%. 

“Work should pay. Budget 2019 included a number of welcome improvements in income supports for one-parents families but more needs to be done. We are calling on Government to introduce targeted educational, employment, childcare and housing supports for the most vulnerable children and parents in our society so that we do not leave another generation behind.”  

Notes to editor:

About One Family: One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting, or separating.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information/Scheduling

Noel Sweeney, Communications and Events Manager | t: 01 622 9212 or 085 7241294