2015 – Page 4 – One Family Ireland

Parenting | 10 Ways to Talk To Your Child About An Absent Parent (0-3 yrs)

July 24, 2015/in Training /by CommsAst

It can be daunting when your baby is born and you start to think about how to tell them that their other parent does not want to be part of their life at that time, or maybe never. However, it is best to introduce this concept from day one. This way you do not allow any confusion to creep into your child’s life.

Here are some tips on how you can do this:

At the registration of your child’s birth, you can add the father’s name to the birth certificate. In time your child will see this and you can talk with them about their father. Children always want to identify with family, who they look like and where they came from.
Have a picture of your child’s other parent in their room or in their baby book, if possible. You may find this very hard to do, but at least if the image exists you can explain who that person is as the child grows up.
If possible, inform the father of the child’s birth and invite him to send something to the baby. Something you can keep to show the baby that they acknowledged the birth.
Try to inform or involve the absent parent’s extended family from the birth of your baby. This can be very hard to do when relationships have broken down, but along the road at least you can tell your child you made every effort to ensure they knew where they came from.
Have a short story in your baby book about how you met their father and how you felt when you found out you were pregnant. Talk a little in the story about how you understood the father felt too. Try to stay positive. Children never usually want to hear anything negative about a parent, even if they are completely absent from their life.
As well as a photo in the baby book of their other parent, you could write some things in about your baby’s absent parent such as their full name, birthday, what s/he liked to eat, their hobbies etc. Give an example of something you liked about them. Whatever you feel you would like to share do, without going too deep into what happened between you as a couple.
As your child grows in this age range, try to drop comments into conversation about how they may remind you of their other parent – positive things only. Try to open up conversation with them about their father. If things come up in a story book or in conversation with other parents about dads, use this as an opportunity to remind them that they also have a father (or mother, depending on your family’s situation).
If you enter a new relationship be very clear when meeting new people that your child is your son or daughter and this other person is your partner, e.g. saying ‘Kaela is my daughter and Simon is my partner’ instead of leading them to believe it is ‘our daughter’. So many people fall into this by error.
Remember, children don’t have to hear something to think it is real. Often by not hearing anything to contradict an idea they have formed can lead them to believe it to be true.
Do not at any stage support or encourage your child to call anyone who is not their biological father ‘daddy’. This can lead to great hurt and confusion as they get older. Children always discover the truth, one way or another.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

Next you might like to read: 10 Ways to Positively Maintain Contact

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Policy | OFP Reform – The Real Life Impacts

July 23, 2015/in Policy /by Comms

Dad and child's hands In recent months, much has been written and said about both the problems and benefits for one-parent families on social welfare that have been put through the One-Parent Family Payment (OFP) reform process. At the heart of this are the cuts in income faced by many parents who are working part-time and in receipt of social welfare.

We asked Theresa, Emer and Sharon, each of whom is parenting alone, working part-time and has been recently transitioned from the OFP, to share the reality of their experiences of this reform process. Despite the fact that Theresa, Emer and Sharon is each doing what Government said this reform is supposed to enable – activation – all of their families have suffered a substantial financial loss. You can read what they told us below.

One Family believes that it is counter-productive to Government policy to enforce income losses on poor families when the objective of the reforms is to support people off welfare and out of poverty into sustainable employment. It is also counter-productive to imply that people parenting alone and in receipt of the OFP do not want to work. They do, and many are also in education.

These debates have not been helped by misinformation about how comparatively ‘well-off’ some families are on social welfare, or how much better off they could be in different circumstances; for example, if they were to increase their hours of part-time employment to become eligible for Family Income Supplement (FIS). One Family is responding clearly with some facts and the real-life case-studies of Theresa, Emer and Sharon in order to demonstrate the reality for the families we work with and represent.

Some facts in response to Government briefings:

Atypical examples | It is unhelpful that atypical examples are being consistently put into the public domain, such as the example indicating that a lone parent with three children who works over 19 hours per week and qualifies for BTWFD will earn the same as a teacher. There are very few lone parents with three children (Census 2011 indicates 15.7% on all one-parent families, but this could be as low as 11% for those actually in receipt of a social welfare payment); the childcare costs associated with this atypical example are not factored in; and neither is the fact that BTWFD is only available at full rate for one year, is reduced completely after two, and is not available to those transitioned before 1 January this year. The ‘typical’ one-parent family includes one child (56.11%) or two children (28.17%).
Other countries | Comparisons to other countries that require lone parents to be available for work when their children are younger than 7 are unhelpful and unrealistic as the structures in place in countries referenced such as New Zealand, the UK and the Netherlands are not comparable to Ireland due to the lack of available childcare here and other structural barriers. Also, there are far higher rates of investment in social services in these countries that practically enable parents to return to the work force.
FIS | It is unhelpful to posit the gain that parents might get if they are able to increase their hours of work to over 19 whilst on the JSTA so that they become eligible for FIS, as this is extremely difficult for many to achieve. We are aware of many sectors, including government funded services, where people are unable to increase their hours. These commonly include childcare staff (particularly those providing ECCE hours); SNAs and other school staff who are frequently let go every summer; and retail staff who are subjected to zero hour contracts etc. It seems unrealistic that Government will be able to work with employers on this or that employers can be expected to always be in a position to create more hours, and it is unrealistic to expect employees to be able to demand more hours if those hours are not available.
BTWFD | Since the reform introduction, some 17,000 lone parents have already transitioned from the OFP scheme to other income support payments in 2013 and 2014. This means that none of these parents were entitled to the Back To Work Family Dividend (BTWFD) which is supposed to support families to move from social welfare into employment.
Childcare | The severe lack of affordable, accessible high quality childcare being uniformly available throughout Ireland remains a massive barrier. This problem for all families with children is far from being resolved; or any workable, time-lined potential solution been put forward by Government. Ireland’s childcare costs remain amongst the most expensive in the world, second only to the US. These reforms aimed to move more lone parents into the workplace are being implemented at a time when even many parents in working two-parent families feel they have no choice but for one partner to leave work owing to childcare costs being unaffordable. People parenting alone do not have a parenting partner to assist with childcare, school runs, school holidays etc. while at work and often do not have family support available.
Income loss totals | Approximately 11,000 parents and families have lost income as a result of being transitioned to Jobseeker’s Transitional Allowance (JSTA) or Jobseeker’s Allowance (JSA) from the OFP. We do not yet know how many have or will gain financially, but we hope that this figure is high.
Income loss amounts | The figures proposed by DSP of the losses that parents will face have been consistently under-estimated, based on testimony to One Family from many parents. We have heard of losses ranging from €30 to €140 per week. In the real-life case studies below, three parents clearly outline how they have lost from €45.20 to €115 per week.

Theresa, Emer and Sharon are all doing what Government says this reform process was implemented to support, and which should result in an increase in income: they are all working part-time over 19 hours per week and in receipt of FIS.

OFP Reform_Theresa

OFP Reform_Emer

OFP Reform_Sharon

Parenting | 10 Ways to Support A Child With A New Sibling

July 17, 2015/in Training /by CommsAst

Becoming a big brother or sister can be very exciting for many children, and at the same time a little scary. They may be wondering how life will change for them in both positive and negative ways. Some children as they get older prefer being an only child, while others long for a sibling. In this article we will explore what it means for children when one parent has a new baby – meaning they are now the big brother or sister – and what issues this can raise for children from separated families.

Often very young children don’t understand what is happening until the baby arrives home and they see their parent holding it. At times they think the baby will be going back to where it came from, and it can be a shock when they realise the baby is staying and maybe even sleeping in their old cot.
If the baby will not be living with the child full-time, it can create a variety of responses from the child. The child may be very keen to stay with the new baby, to protect it. It can feel like it is their baby at times. So parting and returning to the other parent may be very difficult for them.
For other children, the new baby may pose a treat. Now they have to share the parent not only with a new step parent/partner but also with a new sibling. When will they get quality time? This can cause a feeling of unsettlement for children of all ages.
It is important for all the parents – both biological and step-parents – to try and build in quality time with the first child. It is crucial to help them see they have a very valued place in the family and that their needs are still very important.
Children can at times feel abandoned and neglected during separations, particularly at times when adult needs become more prominent and take over. Hopefully by the time a new baby is arriving, things will have settled down and children are feeling more secure in the new relationships that have formed. It is key when a new baby arrives to ensure that the child does not again experience these feelings, whereby their needs were not at the forefront of family life.
It is important also to give your child good, positive language to describe the changes in their family to friends and other family members. ‘Half brother’ or ‘Half sister’ are not the most preferred terms as a person they describe would not feel happy about being ‘half’ of something. It may be better to just support them to say they have a new sister/brother. Then they can go on explain that Daddy or Mammy have this baby. As parents, we can help our children to understand blended families as they get older. Once they have an understanding and a positive experience they will flourish.
Help the child to understand their unique bond with this child. I know it can be hard for parents to accept when the other parent moves on and has more children, but the baby exists and will always have a bond to your child. Try to be open and support the relationship. Try not to see this as a threat.
Often parents and older children ask why the other parent had more children. They may feel they already struggled to have time for the first born, but this is life and things are not always planned or thought out. There may be issues around maintenance as now money has to go further to support the new baby. Your child may be getting less. Again you may need to sit and talk with the other parent about the impact this will have and try to reach agreement, as the courts will usually allow a person provide the best they can for each child. The first born will not get preference.
The quality time a child shares with the other parent may be reduced when a baby is born. You would hope this to be very temporary, as otherwise the older child is being set up to resent the new baby. As parents, it is up to us to try not to give one child less attention when a new baby arrives. This can be difficult, maybe you can try and get others to help with the newborn. This will allow you time to support your older child to know they are very valued within your life and extending family.
When children are having time with the other parent, we can expect that it will be one to one time. Parents may request the new child not to be part of this time. While it is important for children to have one to one quality time with parents, we must remember that children also need to be immersed into their parent’s new family form. It will be hard for them to understand and adjust, no matter what the age, but if this is what the family is going to be, then why try and make it different? At times it may be for the parents’ benefit to exclude other new family but really children can often adapt positively and smoothly to new experiences. What matters most is how they are parented and supported with the changes. It is about keeping their needs central, and for both parents to have a focus on meeting the child’s needs first and foremost.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

Next you might like to read: 10 Ways to Address Sibling Rivalry

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Tuesday 21 July from 10am-11pm in our NEW One Family Parenting Group which is a closed Facebook group (meaning that only members can read posts) that anyone can join. Post your questions and share your experiences.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Parenting | 10 Ways to Parent ‘On The Run’

July 10, 2015/in Training /by CommsAst

For many parents it can feel like you are on a treadmill that is never switched off. On Monday you might be asked, how was your weekend? You look in amazement at the person and try to think, the weekend, when was that? Whether sharing parenting, parenting alone, when your children are very young or teenagers, it never stops. Keeping on top of it all is very challenging and we often forget to be mindful of our own well being. We laugh at the though of it. Obviously the person who coined the term ‘self care’ has no children!

But here it is again – self care. If you can’t find the time to look after yourself and your needs, what type of parent will you be? You may be coping alright now, but how long until the batteries run dry? We all have areas in our lives that are not going too well, sometimes it is because we don’t have the energy or time to put into them.

This summer, could you take on the challenge of trying to do one thing for yourself each day? It is just for you now, but really it is an investment in your ability to parent and thus in your children. They need parents who can stay on the treadmill for a very long time.

Here are some ideas to help get you started:

Take a 30 minutes walk, once a week: on your own ideally or bring the buggie if you must. It helps clear the mind and keep you feeling energised. This will also give you time to see the world and possibly bump into the neighbours for a chat.
Read a book that is not about fairies and princesses and superheroes. Can you find an hour a week to read a chapter? Connect to the adult world around you. It is amazing how we forget it exists. This will also give you something to talk about. We often think if we did meet someone, what would we talk about? Our lives are so focused on our children, it’s easy to forget how to have adult conversations.
Join a parent and toddler group. Even though children are with you, it allows great opportunities to talk with other parents and possibly widen your social circle. Some groups are great at organising trips and events. Check in with your local community center, community bulletin/newsletter and even the local shop notice boards to find groups near you.
Use a drop in crèche for one hour a week. Can you budget to allow yourself one hour off a week? You can just sit and think, plan, read or drink coffee. Basically, this is one hour for you to stay still.
Can you arrange for a relative to take your children once a month? One day off or if you are really lucky one night off is a great opportunity to recharge the batteries. A night of undisturbed sleep does wonders for the body and mind. Then you will feel ready for the children again when they return.
If your children go to their other parent, can you do things in this time for yourself? Many parents use this time to cook, freeze dinners, clean and get ready for another week. Even though this will make the next week run smoother it does not really count as time spent for you. Think about what hobbies you had as a child, or something you wished you had done. Can you join a club – a walking club, book club, hobby or maybe even a study group? Have you had time to think about what you want for you?
We take a lot of time to plan what our children will eat. Have they eaten their 5 a day? We challenge the other parent to reduce the intake of junk food. But how often do you look at your diet. Can you take some time to plan your 5 a day? You are your child’s best role model after all.
Can you arrange a babysitter club? It does not have to be at night time as it depends on what you enjoy doing. Can your friend take your child for a few hours to allow you some time and then you do the same for them?
Many parents buy too many clothes for their children. Do they really need all these clothes? Do they notice what they wear? Why not put some time in to your own wardrobe? What could you do with getting? At times we avoid going out and about as we feel we have nothing to wear. It would be a great resource for your child to have a parent who is confident in how they look.
Ask for help. Parenting is very challenging no matter what form your family takes. Seek out supports. Access professional parenting supports like parenting courses or one to one mentoring – One Family have parenting supports available in many locations both in Dublin and in other. Don’t go it alone when others would love to be invited to join you. (See below for more information on One Family parenting supports.)

This summer take time for you. It may seem selfish at first, but your children will be the ultimate winners when you succeed.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

Next you might like to read: 10 Ways to Parent Self Care

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Tuesday 14 July from 10am-11pm in our NEW One Family Parenting Group which is a closed Facebook group (meaning that only members can read posts) that anyone can join. Post your questions and share your experiences.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Supporting a step parent relationship150x150

Parenting | 10 Ways to Support a Child in a Step Parent Relationship

July 3, 2015/in Training /by CommsAst

Having a step parent is a very normal part of life for many children in Ireland today. Often children hear about step mothers in fairy tales and the picture painted is not one that would excite you. In order for children to have a good relationship with a step parent they need to be supported in the following ways:

While it may not be your ideal situation that your child has a step parent, in order for them to feel safe and secure in the relationship you must give them permission to have a relationship with this person.
Many parents can feel that a step parent may try to take over their role. This can lead to the parent fighting against the relationship and making life somewhat more difficult for their child. If you can be confident in your relationship with your child then there is no need to worry about anyone trying to take your place.
Remember that children need adults and good positive relationships in their lives. The step parent, if allowed, can be a very supportive person for your child. If they are spending periods of time with this person then they need to be able to talk with them, share worries and seek support. The biological parent most likely won’t always be there, so the more people around to support your children the better.
Try to form a relationship of respect with the step parent. It can be very hard for children to have a good relationship with someone they don’t see their parent engage positively with. Talk with your child’s other parent about how you can both take steps to ensure the relationship with the step parent is one based on respect. In the case of infidelity, this can be very difficult, but we must always try to think about the best interests of our children.
Allow your child to talk about their time with the other parent and the step parent. Acknowledge what they do with your child. Try to say positive things about the step parent. By not talking about them at all you are very clearly letting your child know you have no time for them. Ask yourself, is this fair on your child considering they have to live with the step parent part of the time?
It might be nice to arrange for all of the parents, step and biological to go out once or twice with the children. Blended families are a common feature in Irish society. Children can and do have wonderful experiences in blended families.
As family life moves on after separation and step parents become a more permanent part of your child’s life try to accept them fully and acknowledge with your child the part that the step parent plays in their life.
Remember the other parent may be the first one to introduce a step parent to your child, but in time you could also be with someone new. What type of relationship would you like your child to have with your new partner?
If the step parent also has children, then your child has more to deal with. When sharing time with the other parent your child will need your support to explore how they want to engage with the other children who live with them. Is it okay for them to be good friends? They will need to learn the rules of sibling rivalry if they have not any biological siblings. They may also need support around sharing their parent with other children. This may be hard for them if they already feel they don’t have enough time with that parent.
Good stable adult relationships are very valuable for your child to witness and be part of. It can offer your child great stability and help to build up their confidence. It is really good for children to see their parents in good positive relationships. Part of life is learning that not every relationship is good and not every relationship lasts forever but it should not stop you from engaging with people and giving new relationships a chance.

Next you might like to read: 10 Ways to Sensitive Integration of a Step Parent

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Tuesday 7 July from 11am-12pm in our NEW One Family Parenting Group which is a closed Facebook group (meaning that only members can read posts) that anyone can join. Post your questions and share your experiences.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Press Release | End Child Poverty, Get it Right for One-Parent Families in Budget 2016

July 2, 2015/in Press Releases /by Comms

Press Release

End Child Poverty,

Get it Right for One-Parent Families

in Budget 2016

One Family will state at the Pre-Budget Forum tomorrow that Government has sacrificed lone parents and their children for long enough.

(Dublin, Thursday 2 July 2015) One Family, Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating, will be participating in the Department of Social Protection’s Pre-Budget Forum tomorrow where CEO Karen Kiernan will call for an immediate review of Government’s current One Parent Family Payment (OFP) reform process. These reforms, on top of a sustained series of cuts targeting one-parent families – such as the reduction in Income Disregard and discontinuation of the One Parent Family Tax Credit – were implemented without supports including childcare in place, resulting in even greater poverty for thousands of Ireland’s most vulnerable families. Over 30,000 families have been moved off the OFP today.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, states: “Government policy, despite the stated intent to support one-parent families out of poverty, is proving to be a monumental failure. Children in one-parent families are more than twice as likely to live in poverty. The number of children in Ireland living in consistent poverty – meaning they are living both at risk of poverty and experiencing deprivation – has risen to nearly 12%. When you analyse these figures, it reveals that 23% of children in a one-parent family experience deprivation. They have carried the burden of austerity on their shoulders as the poorest and most vulnerable in our society. What we are calling for in Budget 2016 is something that is long overdue. Put simply, it is time for a fair deal for one-parent families.”

Lone parents want to work and to access education so that they can create positive outcomes for their children, yet Government consistently implies that they need to be compelled to do so. This conveniently ignores the reality that barriers such as lack of accessible, affordable childcare/out of school care have yet to be removed. Lone parents already working part-time are those who are being most affected by the current process of reform as they are experiencing income decreases of up to €100 per week on already minutely managed budgets. Rather than giving away tax breaks or giving a miserly €5 per week in Child Benefit, Budget 2016 should be radical in its approach to investing in services for our poorest children and families.

Karen continues: “We are expressing loudly and clearly that Government must invest in Budget 2016 in a coherent package of supports and services for parents moved off the One-Parent Family Payment and to Job Seeker’s Allowances if it is serious about supporting lone parents into sustainable employment and out of social welfare. Quality, affordable childcare and out of school care; access to quality and assured housing; and family-friendly employment opportunities require significant government investment and cross-departmental collaborations. Without this, the Department of Social Protection’s reform process will continue to fail and families will continue to suffer.”

Budget 2016 must demonstrate a firm commitment from Government in working towards resourcing one-parent families rather than penalising them, and to work towards ending the shameful spectre of child poverty in Ireland.

One Family’s Pre-Budget Submission 2016 can be read/downloaded here. The Pre-Budget Forum takes place in the Printworks, Dublin Castle on Friday 3 July from 9am-2pm.

/Ends.

NOTES FOR EDITORS

Budget 2016 Submission

One Family’s recommendations for Budget 2016 are simple, low cost and cost effective; and provide a social and economic future which is based on investment and opportunity.

A package of supports for OFP recipients being transitioned must include:

The Income Disregard to remain at €90 for all OPFs regardless of their payment.

Equal access to all activation measures and in particular MOMENTUM.
Access to free fees for part-time education options.
Allow JSTA CE participants to have an additional payment of €50/week equalising it with JobBridge in recognition of family costs.
Provide specialist bridging programmes for lone parents such as New Futures and New Steps.
Raise the Qualified Child Increase to help reduce child poverty by tailoring it to the poorest families.
Recognise the value and costs of shared parenting by providing the Single
Person Child Carer Credit to each parent.
Adjust the Family Income Supplement so that it makes work pay for lone parents by reducing the qualifying hours to 15 hours per week and taper payment.

Provide a high quality accessible Childcare and Out Of School Care system.

Previous Budget Cuts

Previous cuts that have targeted One-Parent Family Payment recipients since Budget 2011 include:

Budget 2014

The One Parent Family Tax Credit was discontinued and replaced with the Single Person Child Carer Credit, which only one parent can claim, whereas the previous credit could be claimed by both parents sharing parenting.
Maternity Benefit was standardised at €230, an increase for some but a decrease of €32 for others.
The FÁS training allowance was discontinued for those in receipt of some social welfare payments, including those receiving One Parent Family Payment.

Budget 2013

Child Benefit was reduced from €140 per child to €130 (for 1st, 2nd and 3rd child) in Budget 2013.
Back to School Clothing & Footwear Allowance (BTSCFA): Reduced from €250 to €200 for children aged 12+, and from €150 down to €100 for 4-11 year olds.
Cost of Education Allowance (paid with Back to Education Allowance, BTEA) cut completely from €300 down to €0 for all new and existing BTEA recipients.

Budget 2012

BTSCFA, from €305 reduced to €250 for 12+, and from €200 down to €150 for 4-11 yr olds; age eligibility also increased from 2 to 4 year olds in 2012.
Ongoing cuts to OFP include Income Disregard cut from €146.50 down to €90.
The half rate transition payment of OFP was cut for those who were going into work and stopping payment.
OFP recipients lost access to half rate payment for Illness Benefit and Jobseeker’s Benefit, where applicable.
Fuel Allowance was reduced from 32 weeks to 26 weeks.
Cost of Education Allowance (for BTEA recipients) reduced from €500 to €300.
CE Scheme participants, many of whom were lone parents, had their training and materials grant cut from €1,500 to €500; and new CE participants from 2012 could not get ‘double’ payment, just €20 extra allowance.

Budget 2011

Cuts included the main rate of social welfare payments reduced from €196 down to €188.
Child Benefit was reduced by €10 for 1st and 2nd child / €150 to €140; 3rd child / €187 to €167; 4th and subsequent child / reduced to €177.
Christmas Bonus was discontinued (half-rate partial reinstatement for some last year).

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 66 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

Parenting | 10 Ways to Have Fun This Summer

June 26, 2015/in Parenting /by CommsAst

It is easy to trudge through the summer months wishing they were over, especially when we may not have the money for a holiday at a time when it seems that everyone is going away. However, you can still have fun over the summer months without it costing money.

Try to make a conscious effort to do something different this summer. Enjoy special time with your children and do your best to put aside any worries or issues you may have going on, even for part of the day.
If you live near a forest, park or even a lovely big field, why not have dinner outside some evenings? Pack a picnic style dinner or if it’s hot, wrap and run. Children love picnics and you can have so much fun afterwards running about, playing games, kicking ball, flying a kite, looking for butterflies and other creatures. Keep a scrap book of what creatures and birds you see each day.
If you’re lucky enough to live near the seaside, within an hour anyway, perhaps you can schedule a weekly trip? Pack up the buckets and spades. Buy the food in the local shop before you get there or else bring your own picnic. Agree on treats in advance. Children generally love the splashing, sand, digging and diving. It can be such great fun. And there’s lots of opportunities for whale and dolphin watching in many parts of the country too.
If you have a back or front garden, use it. Can you invest a little money in some new outdoor toys? Maybe put up or make a tent? Have a barbeque. Get a cheap paddling pool. Have a treasure hunt. Cloud watch and tell stories. The garden is a great area for fun activities all summer long.
Climb a mountain. Most people have a hill or mountain of some sort not far from where they live. Why not plan a climbing adventure?
Playgrounds can be a great resource. Even if you already go, plan to make it a very regular event over the summer months. Play with your child and support them to make friends in the playground. You will be increasing their confidence and social skills all summer. Playgrounds can also a great way to meet and interact with other parents and increase your own social network.
Check out local groups who may be running trips for families. One Family have weekly outings in the summer time, at very low cost, that are lots of fun. Check out our website and join our social group. Parent and child groups often have trips, start googling what is happening in your community and check out local notice boards. If there is nothing on, try to plan a trip with some other parents.
Many organisations offer quality, free activities that children enjoy such as, for example, Bat Conservation Ireland who lead free bat walks all over the country; or National Heritage Week which has a packed programme of free events in August. There are hundreds of festivals nationwide which generally have a programme strand of free entertainment or workshops for children, as do many museums and art galleries on Sunday afternoons. Local county councils/corporations/town councils also often present free, family-friendly events over the summer time. Swimming pools and libraries usually do too. Take some time to engage with services in your community. You might be surprised by what they have to offer.
Talk with your children and hear what they would like the summer to be like. You can have lots of fun on a budget, and children will really feel they have had different experiences and want to share them with others.
Most of all, take time with your children this Summer. Enjoy them and experience all the fun times that parenting can bring, as too often we are bogged down with the challenges, especially when parenting alone or sharing parenting.

Next you might to read: 10 Ways to Make The Most Of School Breaks

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Monday 29 June from 11am-12pm in our NEW One Family Parenting Group which is a closed Facebook group (meaning that only members can read posts) that anyone can join. Post your questions and share your experiences.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Press Release | Government Activation Policy Comes into Effect for 30,000 One-Parent Families

June 24, 2015/in Press Releases /by Comms

Press Release

Thousands of children are poorer today as government activation policy comes into effect

for 30,000 one-parent families with children aged 7

(Dublin, Wednesday 24 June 2015) Thursday 25 June is the last date of payment of the One-Parent Family Payment to over 30,000 families as their youngest child reaches 7 years of age. This is resulting in increased levels of consistent poverty for many vulnerable families. Two national organisations, One Family and the Society of St Vincent de Paul, have again highlighted the lack of supports put in place to minimise the impact on the families affected.

“The Tánaiste must act urgently to put the necessary resources in place to support families during this reform process. Government must ensure that the focus is on ensuring that levels of child poverty do not further rise. As organisations working with one-parent families, we understand the lived realities of these parents and children. We witness their struggle. This reform is failing them. It means that 11,000 families will immediately lose income, resulting in even more children living in poverty,” they say.

One Family and the Society of St Vincent de Paul say that a reform process that was meant to lift lone parents and their children out of poverty is clearly failing. Instead it is resulting in fewer parents being able to enter or stay in education, to up-skill, or to keep the part-time jobs they already have. The supports necessary to enable lone parents to return to education and employment, such as access to affordable, quality childcare, have not been introduced. This is counter-productive to Government’s stated aim to enable these lone parents to move out of the social welfare system.

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, comments: “Calls to our askonefamily helpline have increased by 50%. We hear from very anxious and worried parents. They want to work and want to learn. They are determined to create brighter futures for their children. They are doing their best to overcome systemic barriers but this is not something that can happen within a reform process that penalises so many already in part-time employment.”

John-Mark McCafferty, SVP Head of Social Justice and Policy, further comments: “At any time, half to two thirds of homeless families living in emergency accommodation are one-parent families. Many more of the one-parent families we work with are on the verge of homelessness. Years of cuts have led to one-parent families being those families in Ireland with the highest levels of consistent poverty with 63% of individuals from these households experiencing one or more forms of deprivation (EU-SILC 2013). This reform will lead to even more families experiencing poverty.”

Both One Family and the Society of St Vincent de Paul have consistently argued for a progressive mix of policies and action to support parents to enter and remain in the work place and in education.

“The success of Ireland’s employment strategies is not just about the achievement of current policy and delivery reforms. Ireland has experienced lower unemployment rates without the current reforms. Quality employment opportunities for one-parent families that support parenting choices should be the policy goal,” they say.

Over 30,200 lone parents will receive their last One-Parent Family Payment on 25 June as this reform process first announced in Budget 2012 continues to be phased in, and over 11,000 have already been transitioned. These parents are being moved to different payments; mainly to the newly introduced Job Seekers Transitional Allowance (JSTA) or to Job Seekers Allowance (JSA).

Parents affected by the reform can call askonefamily helpline for information and support on 1890 66 22 12.

FURTHER INFORMATION

Click here for more detailed information and analysis on the One-Parent Family Payment reform and child poverty on the One Family website.

AVAILABLE FOR INTERVIEW

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes, One Family | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

John-Mark McCafferty, Head of Social Justice and Policy, Society of St Vincent de Paul | t: 087 236 3995

INFORMATION/SCHEDULING

One Family: Shirley Chance | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

St Vincent de Paul: Jim Walsh | t: 087 254 1700

NOTES FOR EDITORS

Previous cuts that have targeted One-Parent Family Payment recipients since budget 2011 include:

Budget 2013

Back to School Clothing & Footwear Allowance (BTSCFA): Reduced from €250 to €200 for children aged 12+, and from €150 down to €100 for 4-11 year olds.
Cost of Education Allowance (paid with Back to Education Allowance, BTEA) cut completely from €300 down to €0 for all new and existing BTEA recipients.

Budget 2012

BTSCFA, from €305 reduced to €250 for 12+, and from €200 down to €150 for 4-11 yr olds; age eligibility also increased from 2 to 4 year olds in 2012.
Ongoing cuts to OFP include Income Disregard cut from €146.50 down to €90.
The half rate transition payment of OFP was cut for those who were going into work and stopping payment.
OFP recipients lost access to half rate payment for Illness Benefit and Jobseeker’s Benefit, where applicable.
Fuel Allowance was reduced from 32 weeks to 26 weeks.
Cost of Education Allowance (for BTEA recipients) reduced from €500 to €300.
CE Scheme participants, many of whom were lone parents, had their training and materials grant cut from €1,500 to €500; and new CE participants from 2012 could not get ‘double’ payment, just €20 extra allowance.

Budget 2011

Cuts included the main rate of social welfare payments reduced from €196 down to €188.
Child Benefit was reduced by €10 for 1st and 2nd child / €150 to €140; 3rd child / €187 to €167; 4th and subsequent child / reduced to €177.
Christmas Bonus was discontinued (half-rate partial reinstatement for some last year).

/Ends.

About One Family One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 66 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

About the Society of St Vincent de Paul The Society of St Vincent de Paul is the largest voluntary charity in Ireland. It works with a diverse range of people who experience poverty and exclusion. The main recipients of support from SVP are households with children with most people requesting assistance are those in receipt of social welfare payments or on low incomes. With a network of almost 11.000 volunteers home visitation to families, carried out in strict confidence, is the core work of the Society. Through person-to-person contact, the SVP is committed to respecting the dignity of those they assist and fostering self-respect. They assure confidentiality at all times and endeavour to establish relationships based on trust and friendship. SVP believes that it is not enough to provide short term material support. Those the SVP assist are also helped to achieve self-sufficiency in the longer term and the sense of self-worth this provides. When problems are beyond their competence, they enlist the support of specialised help. SVP is also committed to identifying the root causes of poverty and social exclusion in Ireland and, in solidarity with poor and disadvantaged people, to advocate and work for the changes required to create a more just and caring society. Other aspects of the Society’s work include operating over 150 charity shops; 14 hostels; 15 daycare centres; 10 holiday centres and 66 housing schemes. It also provides exam revision classes, after-school activities, homework clubs and breakfast clubs

Parenting | 10 Ways to Manage School Holidays

June 19, 2015/in Parenting /by CommsAst

For some parents the school holidays are a respite time with a more relaxed routine. However, it can be a nightmare for others and so requires a lot of planning and management. As parents we learn quickly that when raising children it is important to have as many options and resources as you can possibly gather. Managing childcare over the summer months can be a challenge and early planning is the key.

Research what summer camps are running in your area. What are their price ranges? Children love to engage with their peers. These interactions help them to develop their confidence and learn new skills. They may need a little support to attend at first.
Co-ordinate with other parents to find out if any of your child’s friends are attending summer camps. It is always nice to know somebody.
Can you set up a play date rota with another parent? You could plan your leave with each other. Even if it only works for one week, it can be very helpful.
It can be lovely for children to have special time with grandparents and build their relationships. Can you stay at grandparents also and commute to work from there? Is your child old enough to leave with a grandparent for the week? Or maybe a grandparent could come and stay. If you can rely on a grandparent, maybe work in a few treats for them during the week to help them feel appreciated.
Plan with other family members. See if you can support each other during the summer months. Maybe friends would also be open to helping out. Count each week separately. It will most likely be impossible to have one plan to cover the whole summer. If you have friends or family who can help out, try to plan a day out during the summer or have them over for a fun day to thank them.
Try shortening your week if you are working outside of the home. Can you take a small amount of leave each week to shorten the work week rather than taking blocks of time? Can you take unpaid leave or parental leave? Of course bills still have to be paid and not all employers will offer flexibility so it can be tricky, but if this is a possibility then it can relieve childcare pressures.
If you and your child’s other parent are sharing parenting, can you coordinate on holidays to develop a routine to share the care over the summer period?
Is there a minder in your area who will take on children for the summer time? Can you negotiate a good rate with them?
Children manage change well, once they are kept informed of the plan. Young toddlers can thrive once the routine around sleep and eating times is maintained. As it is a temporary measure children can often enjoy the different experiences and gain from them. It makes the holiday period more interesting when new things are happening.
Summer time can be expensive, ideally planning for summer time should start months ahead. Setting aside a little each week if you can, can go along way to easing the costs of the summer holidays.

If you are lucky enough to have lots of holidays to use over the summer time, enjoy the time with your child and plan days out. They don’t have to cost money, but spend the time in a different way with your children so you feel the summer was something new and fun.

Coming up next week: 10 Ways to Have Fun This Summer.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Monday 22 June from 11am-12pm in our NEW One Family Parenting Group. Join in to post your questions and share your experiences.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Parenting | 10 Ways to Prepare For School Tours

June 12, 2015/in Training /by CommsAst

School tours can be a time of great excitement for many children and one of dread for many parents. The cost may be one issue, but especially for those with younger children it may be the first time you have allowed anyone take your child on a day out. It is ok to feel anxious about placing your trust in the childcare team to take good care of your little ones. Managing your own anxieties is the key to supporting your child to go on these trips with ease.

Don’t panic.
Children are very sensitive to our tone of voice, even if we are saying something positive; if our tone is nervous our children will pick up on it.
Talk with the school to check out the details of the trip. Where they are going? What bus is taking them? Does it have seat belts? How many adults are supervising? What is the missing child policy/accident policy? Having this information can help you to stay calm and not fear the worst.
School trips are a great way for children to build up their confidence. Even if you are worried, tell them it is ok for you to worry a little, but that you trust them.
As parents, it is important that we let our children know that we trust them to be responsible. Give them some examples of how they have already shown that they can make good choices. This will reinforce their confidence.
Remind them of the key rules: stay with your friends, no wondering off, wear your seat belt and listen to the teacher. When children come home from the trip take the opportunity to praise them for being so brave and responsible.
Each year the trips get easier, especially during primary school years. When the overseas trips come up in secondary school you may be back to square one again.
Remember how responsible your child can be. Trust that children/teenagers do make good choices every day. This is your guide to allowing them take the next step of overseas trips. We have to remember to stay calm, see the advantages these trips give to your child and use it as time to recognise how much they are growing up and how capable they are becoming.
Talk with your children about the trips, children like detail as much as adults do. Young children may want to know about practical things such as; where will the toilet will be? What they will do if they have an accident of any sort? To help ease these worries, pack the bag with them so they know what they have e.g. change of clothes, food, drinks, tissues etc.
If you are feeling very anxious you are probably not the only one. Try talking to other parents that morning and do something together to help distract you from the worry. This may be a good opportunity to form new friendships and support networks.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Monday 15 June from 11am-12pm in our NEW One Family Parenting Group. Join in to post your questions and share your experiences.

Next you might like to read 10 Ways to Keep Your Child Safe When Out and About

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

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