Setting Routines

Parenting | 10 Ways to Establish A Bedtime Routine

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Setting RoutinesMany children find it difficult to settle down at bedtime which can lead to challenges. With the longer evenings of Spring and Summer upon us, it can be hard to maintain consistent bedtime routines, particularly in fine weather. For this week’s ’10 Ways to …’ post offering parenting tips, we look at how to establish your child’s bedtime routine. Here are some tips that should help:

  1. Adequate Sleep: How much sleep does your child need every day? Use the guide to help you choose an appropriate bedtime: 1-3 years: 10-15 hours including naps / 4-7 years: 10-13 hours with no naps.
  2. Reduce naps: Once children reach preschool age, naps are no longer necessary. It is best to get your child to bed early and get adequate sleep at night time. Early to bed and early to rise!
  3. Routines are crucial: Develop a clear routine around bedtime with your child and stick to it. The bedtime routine should start no later than 30 minutes prior to your child being in bed.
  4. Snacks: It is important to ensure your child is not hungry going to bed but be careful about food choices offered late in the evening. Too much sugar will not aid sleep.
  5. Consistency: Children are consistent in how they sleep and wake. If you let them stay up late, they will generally still get up at their usual time meaning that you’ll probably have a day ahead with a cranky child – and parent.
  6. Quality time: As part of your routine, plan relaxing, wind-down activities for the hour leading up to bedtime. Too much activity close to bedtime can keep children from falling asleep. Think about what play is good to help children relax and calm down.
  7. Share time: Parents and children need to relax together and reconnect after the day. Share stories from your day and talk about what is happening the next day. Children will sleep better when they have had time to tell you about any worries they might have and to share their stories, and they feel safe knowing what tomorrow brings.
  8. Behaviour: The right time to change behaviours is not when everyone is tired. Think about what is problematic and plan changes. Involve your child in the changes. Make sure they know about this prior to bedtime.
  9. The bedroom: Keep it quiet and calm. Make sure the lighting is just right and ensure your child feels safe. Baby monitors are great at all ages as they reassure a child that their parent will hear them if they call out.
  10. Support children in developing self soothing skills: Encourage your child to soothe themselves back to sleep.  Talk about what might help them to do this during the day, not at night time. Agree in advance what the child can do – can they come to your bed or do you go to them?

This article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Hands

Press Release | Marriage Equality Referendum ‘No’ Campaigners: Stop Using and Abusing Lone Parents

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Press Release

Marriage Equality Referendum ‘No’ Campaigners:

Stop Using and Abusing Lone Parents

(Dublin, Friday 17 April 2015) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating – is dismayed by the untruths being promoted by many main ‘No’ campaigners in the lead up to the Marriage Equality Referendum on 22 May. One Family rejects the suggestion that people parenting alone will lose rights if the Referendum is passed and notes the extensive evidence-base showing that children do just as well in one-parent families as married two-parent families when sufficient resources are in place.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, responds: “As an organisation which has worked with and for people parenting alone and sharing parenting for over 40 years, we know that successful outcomes for children are not determined by the form their family takes. What matters, and what all reputable research shows, is that children who have positive relationships at home – whether this is with a lone parent, two parents of both or same sex, or with other supportive family members or guardians – do just as well as children from what some refer to as the ‘traditional family’.  The challenge we face in Ireland is increasing child poverty and again, research and our decades of experience show that it is living in consistent poverty that results in more negative outcomes for children, whatever their family form is.”

Karen further responds: “Campaigners stating that only a married mother and father can meet a child’s needs are not only misrepresenting facts, they are hurting any family that does not conform to their restricted ‘ideal’ and ignoring the wonderful diversity of families that already exists in Ireland. One in four families in Ireland is a one-parent family. These are wonderful families, with strong, resilient parents doing the best for their children.”

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, adds: “There have also been comments made that people who parent alone will have fewer rights if the Marriage Equality Referendum is passed or that unmarried parents are not ‘equal’. This is erroneous, untrue and has nothing to do with the referendum. All unmarried families whether headed by one or two parents will continue to remain outside the Constitution and extending rights to more people to marry will not make any difference.”

Recent research on family form as relating to outcomes for children includes:

  1. Growing up in a One-Parent Family: The relationship between family structure and child outcomes – Growing Up in Ireland: National Longitudinal Study of Children

http://ulir.ul.ie/bitstream/handle/10344/3638/Growing_Up_in_a_One-Parent_Family.pdf?sequence=2

  1. Families with a difference: the reality behind the hype – University of Cambridge

http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/features/families-with-a-difference-the-reality-behind-the-hype

  1. Growing Up in Australia: The Longitudinal Study of Australian Children

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/18/wedded-to-wedding-does-marriage-matter-for-children and  http://www.growingupinaustralia.gov.au/

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 66 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

 

Parenting a young adult

Parenting | 10 Ways to Parent a Young Adult

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Parenting a Young AdultMoving from constant active parenting when our children are young to the parenting of a young adult can be difficult. Raising our children dominates our lives for so long that it can be tough to know what to do with ourselves once they grow up and begin to explore their independence and build lives of their own.

This week in our ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, we share some ideas to support you to define and embrace your role as the parent of a young adult.

  1. Space; allow your young adult their own space. Accept that they may not want or need to see or call you as often. Let them know you will always be there for them, check in with them, and then move on and start to enjoy your own time.
  2. Try not to always question what they are doing with their life even if you feel they could make different choices at times.
  3. Listen to their plans and ideas, and support them as best you can. Hear what they are saying and smile.
  4. Allow them to make their own choices and to learn from the mistakes they make along the way, knowing that you are always there for them.
  5. If they still live with you, respect them as young adults in the home. Agree boundaries together but try not to control them by imposing rules.
  6. Try not to judge your child; they may drink or stay out all night at some time, is this often simply a part of being young and not having too many responsibilities.
  7. They might seem to you to spend their money foolishly but once they are not looking for a hand out, and meet any responsibilities they do have, be happy for them. For most of us, there’s a short enough window in life when we can enjoy what money we have before our financial responsibilities grow.
  8. Spend time with them and know them as an adult, watch how they are in the world and in their community. Let them go freely into the world.
  9. Make plans for your own life separate to being a parent. For many of us, our lives are consumed with raising our children and we might find that our own personal dreams are put aside. Take steps now around planning and achieving your dreams.
  10. Enjoy them; enjoy their energy and enthusiasm for life. It may seem like only yesterday that your child was a baby and now you see them grown, forging ahead and making their own way in life. They have the tools to do this. You have succeeded. Your roles may change but you will always be their parent. Take pride in seeing what they have become.

This article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Parenting | How do you parent your child who is now a young adult?

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Young Adult

As parents, we experience many transitions as our children grow.

For so many years you may have felt physically exhausted raising your child. When they are a baby, you think it will be easier when they start to walk. When they walked, you realised it was still hard. You think once they go to school it will be easier and soon you realise the endless work involved in after school runs and play dates, not to mention homework. You may have dreaded the teen years. How would your child cope when they took their first drink? How do you cope when if they come home drunk? What about pregnancy? What about exams? Will they get into university?

Well, you and your child have survived all of that and they are now a young adult. They have possibly moved out, but where are they living and with whom? You dread to think. What do they get up to when they are too busy to call? Or maybe they still live at home, but you never actually see them; just the delph and washing piling up. You can’t do ‘time out’ any longer or make plans with them. They are busy living their own life now. It seems that your job as mum or dad is no longer required.

This can be very hard. We wish all the time that our children will grow and develop, gain and achieve, and be successful and happy. We worry so much about them and try to fix life for them, and all of a sudden they are grown up. You were watching them but still you never noticed that they were reaching this stage. Now you’re wondering what your role is.

If your young adult has moved out then you can really feel like part of your body has been removed, a part that you looked after very carefully for so many years. Even if at times it was a part you wished was independent, really you were always so glad to have it. Now it’s gone and you wonder what to do. It can be very hard to let go of your child, to trust that they know what they are doing and that even if they don’t, they will learn as they go, just as we did. Life is for making mistakes!

At times they will call you and say they were out of credit, they will come by for Sunday lunch and be delighted when you give them a few bits and bobs for the week ahead. They know how to cope with everyday issues; they can deal with the annoying flat mate or the bossy colleague. They may spend their money foolishly – well, lucky for them as the bills will start soon enough. And they get by, happy out. They may wish at times that someone would do their washing, but amazingly enough they have even learned how to use the washing machine. The time has come when they don’t need your advice every day, because you have prepared them well for life.

Why is it that you mourn the loss of their childhood? You often wish that they were small again and close by. Letting go is really hard, but seeing your young adult free in the world, loving life and living their dreams makes it all bearable.

Once your child gets to this stage wish them well, listen to what their plans are and support them as best you can. At times you may not want to support them, or even talk with them; for example, when they make what you feel are foolish decisions or when they seem selfish, always putting themselves first. Just remember that this is what you have wanted for them. Be there for them when they do call, and don’t dwell on why they didn’t before. Share what you have with them even if you are still waiting on a birthday gift. Listen to them and hear them, try not to tell them what to do or what to think. Allow them own their own life and wish them well. Let them know you will always be there for them, for as long as you live and then move on and start to enjoy your own life.

If your young adult is still living with you, try to agree boundaries with them. Treat them with respect and ask for cooperation. You do not need to parent them as if they were a child. Trying to baby your young adult will cause you to lose them, if not physically then emotionally. Sit with them and agree what you both need from each other and agree ways forward. Enjoy them and stay calm. If they are not worried that they only had three hours sleep, then why should you be worried?

For so many years our lives are consumed with raising our children and for many parents, our own personal dreams are put aside. If you are still in the early years of parenting, try to make time for your dreams. It can be harder to know where to start and to even know who you are, if you wait until your children are all grown up. Take steps now around planning and achieving your dreams. This will also support you to parent now. When we look after our own needs and try to ensure we meet them, we will be much more positive and able to meet the needs of our children.

Active parenting is just one part of your life. When you have completed this chapter, look to the next and find new things and new relationships to fulfil your needs. Look back with fondness on the memory of bringing up your child, but don’t hold onto the past and wish for your child back.

Your child, thanks to you, has found their own life and their own way in the world. This really what you wished for, it was the plan all along. You have not only survived, but you have succeeded in your task. You have supported your baby to become a young adult.

Learn to enjoy your young adult.

If you are struggling with how to cope now that your active parenting days have come to an end, call our askonefamily helpline on 1890 66 22 12 / 01 662 9212. We may be able to support you to understand what your young adult needs from you now and also help you to explore your future.

In His Own Words | Dean’s Story – When My Parents Separated, Part 3

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Dean contacted One Family because he wished to share his personal experience of when his parents separated. In the third and final part of a series, this is Dean’s story in his own words. He is now 16 years old.

So, where do we end up after years of arguments, confusion and ambiguity? There are only two real outcomes; one being the future continues on, with separated parents; and the other, continuing on with reconciled parents. In my case I am currently living with both of my parents, who have managed to work through their issues after one and a half years of separation.

I find it pertinent to emphasise that this is not always the case, and for some people it’s not the outcome we want. I stress to any child who has gone through the same experience as me, your life is not determined by the life of your parents. It would be foolish to allow something to constrict you to a certain path; we know not of the future, but we can for sure shape it. That shaping isn’t the job of your parents, they have done their part. It is up to you now, don’t let yourself crumble. Take advantage of your opportunities, if they don’t exist; create them. Learn from their mistakes and strive to be a better “you” every day. I have failed to find a better sense of satisfaction than that feeling you have when you see how far you have come. There will be those dark times in your life, and perhaps they will be in a greater quantity than your brightest times… But that’s the thing about your dark times, in the presence of your success they cannot be seen. That darkness only exemplifies your light, giving a support providing ‘frame’ to the beautiful painting of your triumph.

If there was one piece of advice I would give, I would say – though it seems scary and different and all you want is for things to go back to what they were – remember that how things were (or how they appeared to be) wasn’t what you thought it was. And when we realise that, and we accept that, that is when we can truly begin to rebuild.

I think I speak for most people when I say the last thing we want is for our parents to be unhappy with themselves. So if this becomes your reality, or is currently your reality, remember; it is not anything to do with you, as the child. Of course you might hear conversations between your parents mentioning you, or arguing about doing something for you. This is just going to happen, but in the vast majority it’s never really about you. You just become a proxy for them to air out their own feelings.

To the parents who feel so shrouded in doubt they are almost at the point of collapse: children are strong, and can be a lot stronger than you think. I understand as a parent you are filled with this sense of protection, this want to be a perfect example. But what is a perfect example? Is it better to act like nothing is wrong, stripping the child and yourself of any reality perception? Or is it better to show them people are flawed, a continuing work of art? Parents tell their children to come to them with any problems they have, but it doesn’t have to be a one-way street.

Above anything else, just be honest. I know there will be that voice in the back of your mind telling you that a certain piece of information is too hard for the child to handle, but one way or another it’s going to come out. You have the choice to control the situation, or to let it manifest into something so crippling that the future relationship you wished to have is nothing but turmoil.

Everyone has their own specific experience, and everyone has the right to their own life. Please, I do not ask for you to take everything I’ve said as gospel, all I wish is that people use my story as a reference, as thinking food. I don’t know everything, and I’m sure my views will change, as I do. If I can help just one person, even to the smallest extent, I would be happy knowing I’ve made a positive change.

There is nothing in this world more humbling than seeing someone exuberant, and above all, happy.

– Dean

Read Part 1 of Dean’s story here and Part 2 here.

 

Note: Stock image used, istockphoto

Statement | Clarification of One Family Policy Position in Relation to One-Parent Family Payment Reform

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Statement

One Family is very disappointed by comments made in relation to our policy work on TV3’s Tonight with Vincent Browne show on Wednesday 1 April 2015. To set the record straight, One Family does not endorse the reforms to the One Parent Family Payment (OFP) as currently being implemented by Government.

We have stated previously that changes are necessary as one-parent families are continuously those most at risk of, or living in, poverty in Ireland today which is not acceptable. We have made numerous proposals and submissions to Government on how progressive, positive changes could be made – changes that would improve the lives of lone parents and support them to build better futures for their families – and actively engaged with the Department of Social Protection on how best to achieve this. However, One Family does not endorse these reforms as currently being implemented as they will fail.

Our policies and submissions are informed by the parents we work with, those parents from around the country who participate in our Policy Panel, those who take our surveys, and those who engage with us through our askonefamily helpline and in many other ways. These include our 10 Solutions which are low or no-cost changes that Government could implement which would help in improving outcomes for people parenting alone. One Family has always been clear that badly planned and implemented reforms combined with cuts will not work to move one-parent families out of poverty.

The comments made by Deputy Joanna Tuffy on Tonight with Vincent Browne on Wednesday could be taken as an implication that One Family approves of the reforms now being enacted. This is a misrepresentation of our policy stance. While the Department has made some adaptation to its original reforms announced in Budget 2012 – with, for example, the introduction of the Job Seekers Transitional Payment (JST) which we welcomed – it is simply not enough and we have consistently highlighted this. Reform should not seek to address lone parents as a homogenous group. Changes must be informed by the reality of the lives of people parenting alone.

The real impact of these current reforms is that many thousands of parents will experience catastrophic reductions in their weekly income. Parents being moved from the OFP to JST or Job Seekers Allowance include parents currently in part-time employment. Many will now be forced to give up their part-time jobs, due to a complex and unwieldy system. This will result in even greater levels of poverty being experienced by these families. We have called for free part-time education to be made available to lone parents in acknowledgment of their caring responsibilities, for those who wish to pursue it. For those parents presently in employment and education or who wish to return to either, the biggest barrier remains the lack of availability of affordable, accessible, quality childcare. Despite promises made in the past, this issue has yet to be adequately addressed. All of this is being compounded by a serious lack of consistency and clarity of information being communicated to parents at some local social welfare/INTREO offices, creating severe uncertainty and stress for parents already struggling.

One Family presented stark evidence of the real impact of the current reforms to the Joint Oireachtas Committee on Education and Social Protection on 18 February, as did representatives of SPARK. Deputy Tuffy chairs this Committee but was not present at that time. However, we have always engaged with the Deputy and with representatives of the Department of Social Protection and will continue to do so. As our CEO Karen Kiernan stated to the Committee on closing in February: “One Family has always called for and supports the reform of the payment. The problem is that it was combined with cuts. It was never really going to work and it has not been working to date. From now on, better implementation and planning are required. There is a lot that could be done but there are many errors on the ground about which we are very concerned. We have heard about the litany of cases of people who have actually lost money. We are concerned that the payment is not working now. In order for it to work, changes are needed. I will leave it at that. Our door is wide open in terms of collaborating and assisting.” The full transcript can be read here.

We will continue to work with whomever we can. One Family’s door remains wide open to the Committee and to the Department for collaboration and assistance.

Giving Up

Parenting | 10 Ways to Cope When You Feel Like Giving Up

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Giving UpMany parents have really bad days and weeks with children and at times we can question ourselves. We can wonder if we are the right person to parent this child. Would someone else do a better job? Would our child be better off with someone else?  Sometimes parents even think about putting children into care as they are feeling so much despair. Everyone has bad days with children, days when we don’t handle situations and behaviours in ways we wish we had. Days when we want to scream and run out the door, days when we do scream and days we wish our children would run out the door!

It is normal to a certain extent to feel this way. Parenting can be very overwhelming and we are often doing it with limited sleep which reduces our coping skills. Parenting is the hardest job in the world at times, and the most unrecognised and unsupported. When doing it on your own it can be even more difficult as you don’t have someone who can take over when you feel you need a break. Even parents in a relationship can feel like they are doing it alone.

It is when these feelings start to set in that it is really important as a parent to reflect on your own self care. Usually when we feel this way there are many other things going on. We are stressed by relationships within our family and our ex partners or we are stressed about money or housing problems. Our heads are full of so many issues that all seem to be going wrong and falling apart. Then when the children start to act up, it is like that’s the final straw. Usually the children are more challenging because they know and feel that you are not present for them. They have needs which are not being met and they don’t know how to tell you about how they feel. All they know is how to act it out.

Can you put certain measures in place to help you recognise when you are starting to neglect your own care, such as:

  1. Learn to recognise your levels of stress. Take time each day to reflect on how you are feeling.
  2. Try to identify things that went well each day, no matter how small they are.
  3. Try not to give all your energy to what is going wrong. Explore who can help you, what steps can you take.
  4. Make a list of the issues you need to resolve. Try to be less critical of yourself. Name the things you are good at, focus on these.
  5. Create time to think and plan – can children go on play dates to allow this happen for you?
  6. Talk with your children about what is going on and help them to form a plan with you. Hear what it is like for them.
  7. Don’t give up. Your children need you and no one can replace you. You need to believe that you are the right person to parent your children.
  8. Join a parenting group to get support from other parents and learn new skills and knowledge which will help you understand your children.
  9. Identify your needs. Where are the gaps? You will need to be creative in finding ways to meet these needs. By parenting yourself you will be able to parent your children.
  10. Seek professional support if you feel really low. Call the askonefamily helpline to talk with someone. Talking can usually help you understand what is going wrong and what changes you can make. Seek support from your GP or contact your local social worker if you feel you need support around mental health, addiction or abuse.

Remember, there are people out there who can and want to support you to parent. Ask for the support if you can. It does not make you a poor parent if you need to get support from others. Nobody can parent on their own, being brave enough to ask for help and support is what makes you a great parent as you recognise that you and your children need help.

Free, confidential information and support is available from the askonefamily helpline on 1890 662212.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming up next week: 10 Ways to Address The Awkward Questions.

Next you might like to read: 10 Ways to Parent Self Care,  10 Ways to Parent Through Stressful Times or  10 ways to Develop Coping Skills In Your Family.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Awkward Questions

Parenting | 10 Ways to Deal with Those Awkward Questions

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Awkward QuestionsChildren are so inquisitive. They love information. They ask constant questions as their minds are continuously processing everything they see and hear in the world around them. Children come to their parents all the time to clarify the things they don’t really understand. As parents, we want to help our children learn and understand yet sometimes when they ask an ‘awkward question’ it is tempting to gloss over it (and maybe run for the hills and hope when we get back they will have forgotten!).

There are so many issues that parents can find difficult to discuss with their children. Depending on our own experiences and beliefs, how ‘awkward’ a question is for us as individuals can vary hugely. For many parents, those awkward questions may include: “Where do babies come from? What is sex? What is gay? Why does he have two mammies? Why don’t I have a mammy? Why don’t I have a daddy? What is homeless?” By not answering awkward questions and telling children they are ‘too young’ to know such things, we are making taboos of so many subjects that are normal in our society. Children will learn quickly not to ask us anymore, and then they will in time find other sources – perhaps unreliable sources – to answer their questions. A question will not go away until your child is satisfied with the answer they find.

This week in our ’10 Ways to’ parenting tips series, we explore some strategies that as parents we can put in place to support us in answering those awkward questions that our children send our way.

  1. Don’t try to fob a child off by changing the subject or saying they are too young. If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to get some information.
  2. Be honest in an age appropriate way. This does not mean you wait until they are teens to tell them things (when you may be even more embarrassed). Give children little bits of information to match what they can understand as they develop. Plant the seeds and build the tree over time with them.
  3. At times a question may upset you yet this is no reason to not answer it. You may have to explain to your child that this question makes you a little sad but that you will talk with them about it. A parent absent from your child’s life is often very difficult to talk about and many parents worry that their child will feel the rejection they themselves may have experienced, but remember that children have a different relationship with and perception of an absent person in their life. They will not feel the same as you. Here we explore ways to explain an absent parent.
  4. Be factual and try not to make the information about any subject into a fairy tale. Educate your child about families and all the diverse families in our society.
  5. If you make any issue into a taboo when children are young, they will be less inclined to talk openly with you when they are older. Try to have an open relationship with your child from the first days. Once they start talking to you, start talking and sharing with them. Remember that even though it may seem a long time away now, you don’t know what choices your child will make as they grow up and you don’t want them to think that you may be unsupportive of them in the future.
  6. Just because you explain once, that probably won’t mean that you’re off the hook. Children take pieces from each and every conversation. Some bits they recall and other bits get left behind. They will ask you again so try to be patient and answer them again. Maybe you can add in additional age appropriate detail the next time.
  7. There are many excellent books out there to support parents in talking with children about almost every topic. Perhaps you can get some books in the library and introduce them during story time. Plant the seeds of knowledge and allow your child to process the information and to know they can come back to you when they need to ask more questions.
  8. If your child has wrong information or understanding, such as about who their dad is or if they have the same parents as their sibling, then correct them from the first error. With many families we work with, children are growing up with step-parents having previously had a relationship as a baby with their other biological parent who separated from the family and they may have forgotten this. Try to keep the information clear, show them photos if you have them, be open and honest or you will only create more awkward situations in the future which can lead to your child losing trust in you. Always try to build your relationship based on trust.
  9. At times your child’s other parent might object to you answering these awkward questions. Try to talk with them and help them to understand why it is important to answer your child’s questions honestly. Once you are sharing age appropriate information, then you need not worry.
  10. Seek support from service providers such as One Family if you would you like support in talking with your child about challenging situations. Once you start to talk openly with your child and believe that you are the right person to help them understand the very complex world we live in, then it will become easier for you.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Next you might like to read: 10 Ways to Support Your Child’s Sex Education, 10 Ways to Explain An Absent Parent or 10 Ways to Talk To Your Child About ‘Where Do I Come From’.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.