One Family Welcomes Terms of Reference of the Commission of Investigation into Mother and Baby Homes

/in /by

Press Release

One Family Welcomes Terms of Reference of the Commission of Investigation into Mother and Baby Homes

One Family welcomes today’s publication of the terms of reference of the Commission of Investigation into Mother and Baby Homes as established by Minister for Children James Reilly.

One Family CEO Karen Kiernan explained: “We are pleased to say that the terms of reference have listened to recommendations by One Family and many organisations whose members have been directly affected by Mother & Baby homes and the prevailing culture of the time. The importance of the Confidential Committee to hear the voices of those directly affected by the homes is critical.

“Of great importance also is the fact that there is an awareness of the social context which contributed to widespread discriminatory treatment of non-marital families and mothers,” Karen continued. “One Family believes that this prejudice still exists today and Irish society will benefit hugely from a reflection on attitudes to non-marital and one-parent families.”

One Family was founded as Cherish by a small group of unmarried mothers in 1972 who, against prevailing practice, decided that they wanted to keep their babies and raise them themselves. The founders tell numerous stories of their difficult personal experiences in doing this, as well as those of the many women who turned up at their homes, at group meetings, or here to the offices at 2 Lower Pembroke Street, Dublin desperate for help because they were pregnant and not married which in countless cases had cost them their family relationships, jobs and homes.

One Family’s Chairperson, John O’Connell, who was himself born in Bessborough Home and returned with his mother to her family at the age of six months, comments: “Unfortunately we are aware that secrecy and shame can still surround many women whose children were adopted from mother and baby homes. As a society we need to give a clear and strong message that this secrecy and shame was and is wrong. There are still opportunities for adopted family members to be reunited, for children and parents who lived in mother and baby homes to be heard and acknowledged, and for Irish society to finally learn these lessons and treat all children and families equally.”

Lone parents and their family members affected by the recent harrowing reports may wish to call One Family’s lo-call askonefamily helpline for support on 1890 66 22 12.

/Ends.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 62 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

More information on the history of One Family is here.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

 

 

Safety Out and About

10 Ways to Keep Your Child Safe When Out and About

/in /by

Safety Out and AboutBeing out and about shopping with young children can be stressful. This week in our ’10 Ways to’ parenting tips series, we explore some tips that will help you keep them safe.

  1. Talk with children once they start to develop language skills about where they live, their phone number and parent’s name.
  2. Help your child recognise staff members in large shops. Point out uniforms and other identifiers. help them to understand that if they lose sight of their parent/carer that they should only talk with a staff member.
  3. For young children it can be useful for them to wear a wristband with your phone number on it as sometimes people may not understand what they are saying or your child may be too scared to tell them anything.
  4. Always talk with children about strangers; these are men, women and children. Help them to understand that they do not talk with strangers and should never go anywhere with them no matter how attractive it may seem.
  5. For young children, especially those under two years of age, it is best to keep them in a buggie when in large shops, malls or streets. They may not love the idea, but they can go missing in minutes otherwise. Help them enjoy the trip with small breaks from the buggie to eat and for hugs, but secure them in the buggie otherwise.
  6. For children who have outgrown the buggie it is very useful to use a wrist harness. It can be hard to hold hands all the time especially if you’re carrying bags. Talk with your child about the purpose of the harness, to keep them safe.
  7. Once you enter the shopping centre, show your child a clear place that they should go to if separated from you; for example, a security desk or any brightly coloured or unusual feature that stands out. This place needs to be easily spotted when looking up from your child’s height so crouch down beside them when showing them this spot. Children will not see which way to go if you choose a location which they can’t see from looking up.  They need to be able to see past the crowd.
  8. Explain to your child that if they do get lost to just to stay still and not move about at first, and that they must always answer you when you call their name. Then you can go back to the places you have been and hopefully locate them. Children can at times hide in clothes or toys and in shelves; there is so much to distract them in busy shops. Help them to understand that this may be good fun but when they do this, you cannot see them.
  9. Maybe let your child have a whistle, or if old enough to use a phone, perhaps they could have one to use when out and about. Your number can be pre-programmed on quick dial. This may support you finding them sooner.
  10. If your child does get separated from you, inform staff immediately. Do not hesitate. Do not feel you need to wait and look yourself first. Get help from the staff straight away.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on the topic of safety when out and about on Monday 12 January from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your question.

Next you might like to read 10 ways to Develop Playtime with your Child or 10 ways to Be More Socially Engaged 

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming soon: 10 Ways to Talk with Children About Death.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and advice on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

10 Ways to Develop New Parenting Routines

/in /by

Setting RoutinesA new year has arrived and with it, an ideal opportunity to explore family routines. Following consistency in routines supports parenting and increases your child’s sense of well-being and security. Last week in our weekly ’10 Ways to’ parenting tips series, we explored how to Make Positive Parenting Changes in 2015 so this week is a good time to continue consider your family’s routines and any changes you would like to make.

  1. Think about how and why routines are useful.  Maintaining clear routines in the home supports children’s well being in many ways. Children like to know what to expect in the form of activities and behaviours. Routine helps us as parents too, and can increase harmony in the home, reduce stress and increase productivity and a sense of achievement and connection.
  2. Children usually have a very clear routine from birth around feeding, sleeping and nappy time. Sometimes as our children grow we rigidly continue with routines in these areas but often times we don’t. Think about what routines you currently follow.
  3. Explore any parts of the day when you have a good routine in place that works for all, for example, perhaps the getting to school schedule flows perfectly every morning. What does this do for you and your children? Do you find that things run smoother at these times and everyone gets on well?
  4. What happens at the times you don’t have a clear routine in place, for example, perhaps the homework routine? What impact does this have? Children and parents can get confused, frustrated or anxious when we don’t know what to expect which can lead to challenging behaviours.
  5. It is important to have consistent routines around not only eating and sleeping and practical schedules, but around behaviours also.
  6. It is your job to implement the routine, but your children need to know and understand it. Talk with children about routines and how they help. Allow them have a voice in what works and doesn’t work for them.
  7. As seasons change and children grow, routines will change too. Be open to this change. If a plan is not working, even if it used to, then stop doing it. Review it with your children, build on it and make a new plan. As the parent, ensure you follow through.
  8. Some people very much resist routine. Explore why this is the case. Think about what your child needs. Most children need security and this can often be achieved through clear routines. Following routines does not mean you have to be rigid; you can be flexible, but ensure your child knows why a change in the routine is occurring. Some children do well with change and others do not.
  9. Think about your own life, separate to being a parent. What routines are in place for you? What happens when you can’t follow the routine? Sometimes it means your needs are not met, which in turns affects how you are, how you can cope, and how you parent.
  10. Talk with your children about routines this week. What is working now and what doesn’t work so well? Agree some new routines for 2015 and then look back later in the year to see how they have hopefully helped to improve happiness and harmony in your home.

Next you might like to read 10 Ways to Develop Family Rituals and Traditions, 10 Ways to Establish a Bedtime Routine or 10 Ways to Run a Family Meeting.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming soon: 10 Ways to Ensure Safety When Out and About and 10 Ways to Talk With Children About Death.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on 5 January from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your questions.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and advice on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.