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Modern Family on Today FM featuring One Family

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Modern Family is a new Today FM four-part documentary series on family diversity in Ireland, funded by the Broadcasting Authority of Ireland and narrated by Ray D’Arcy and produced by Mary Carroll.

The series aims to explore the changing face of modern families. Part 4 is a focus on one-parent families and separated parents sharing parenting. It features interviews with one of our founders, Evelyn Forde, and other One Family friends and colleagues.

The four episodes will be first broadcast over this Easter Weekend as below:

  1. Modern Family Ep1: Same-sex parents | Friday 18 April 10.30am (Listen back here)
  2. Modern Family Ep2: Families with disabilities | Saturday 19 April 10.30am (Listen back here)
  3. Modern Family Ep3: Immigrant families | Sunday 20 April 9.30am (Listen back here)
  4. Modern Family Ep4: One-parent families | Monday 21 April 10.30am (Listen back here)

Note that we will update this post with links to listen back to each episode as they become available.

Further details:

Episode 1 – Same-sex parents More than two decades ago, when Bernadette and Ann decided to start a family as a lesbian couple, they were ahead of their time. Together they raised their two sons, Conor and Darragh in a society where they sometimes felt isolated and stigmatised as same-sex parents. Clare and Aishling met when they were in school. When Clare hit her 30s the pair started talking about having children. They decided to use donor sperm for artificial insemination and they now have a son, Darragh. Glenn and Adriano became the first gay couple in the state to have their civil partnership formally recognised back in January 2011. Glenn has a nine year-old daughter and shares her parenting duties with her mother.

Episode 2 – Families with disabilities Until the age of 18 Julie lived in institutions – residential centres for children with disabilities. She was one of the first children from the hospital to attend the local secondary school and was the first person in a wheelchair to be recruited in the Civil Service. She is married to Mick and has three children. She talks about the challenges she faced in 1970s Ireland, a society where disabled people were invisible. Cerebral Palsy sufferer Ken Kelly is engaged to Gillian Murray, who has Spina Bifida. They want to move in together but there is a lot that has to be considered. Kieran Coppinger is from Mervue in Galway and has Down Syndrome and he talks about his desire to find a girlfriend and his burgeoning acting career.

Episode 3 – Immigrant families Dr Moosajee Bhamjee was Ireland’s first black, Muslim TD. Originally from South Africa (born to Indian parents), he came to Dublin in 1965 where he studied medicine at the Royal College of Surgeons. He tells us how Irish society has evolved since he arrived over forty years ago. Born in Italy and raised in Sri Lanka, broadcaster and social justice activist Dil Wickremasinghe feels thoroughly Irish. She moved here fourteen years ago and as a gay woman she felt immediately welcome. Tomasz Kostienko and his family came to Ireland in 2007. Tomasz felt accepted straight away and his three children now call Ireland home but he dreams of returning to Poland.  Others have not felt so welcome. Refugee Lassane Ouedraogo arrived here from Burkina Faso seven years ago. He has found it difficult to be accepted in and has experienced racism from Irish people.

Episode 4 – One-parent families Today in Ireland, over half a million people live in one-parent families. However, a generation ago, being a lone parent was strongly disapproved of. When Evelyn Forde realised she was pregnant in 1973, she was faced with the heartbreaking dilemma of whether or not to put her child up for adoption. Labour TD Ciara Conway became pregnant in her final year of college. Her daughter Aeva-May is now 11 years old and Ciara speaks about the difficulties of juggling a hectic work and family life. Three years ago Ciara met Gary and they married at Christmas. Aeva-May talks about bringing Gary into their family. Bonnie Brady is raising her son Jayden alone. She speaks about how her life changed dramatically when Jayden arrived and how difficult it is to make ends meet and pursue her career while parenting alone. Paul and his partner separated when their son Eoin was six months old. They share parenting duties now, but spent years fighting over access. It took Paul a long time to learn that every decision he made had to be in Eoin’s best interest, not his.

Family Day Festival Takes Place on 18 May

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Press Release

Family Day Festival celebrates family diversity of today’s Ireland on 18 May

Sunday, 18 May 2014 | www.familyday.ie

(Dublin, 18 April 2014) One Family – Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families in Ireland – celebrates the diversity of families in today’s Irish society with the free one-day Family Day Festival in Dublin’s Iveagh Gardens on Sunday, 18 May 2014 from 11am to 5pm.

This is the fourth year of the annual celebration, which attracted almost 10,000 attendees in 2013, and also the 20th anniversary of UN International Year of the Family which encourages a refocus on the role of families and on family policy development, offering the opportunity to share good practices in family policy making and to review challenges faced by families worldwide and recommend solutions. UN International Day of Families, the inspiration for One Family’s founding of the Family Day Festival, takes place on 15 May annually.

Everyone is invited to celebrate their family and all families on Sunday 18 May in acknowledgment of the wonderful diversity and reality of families in today’s Ireland. Families are not all the same and Mother’s Day and Father’s Day exclude many. The Family Day Festival embraces the UN definition of family which refers to two or more people, bound together by mutual consent, birth and/or adoption or placement who together care for each other. It celebrate all types of family – one-parent families, step families, the traditional married family, adoptive and foster families, blended and extended families, those with opposite and same sex parents.

The Festival offers free entertainment and fun for every age. Adults and children can enjoy arts and crafts, performance and storytelling workshops from organisations such as the National Print Museum, The Ark, Imaginosity, Fighting Words and the Gaiety School of Acting; create their own masterpieces to take home; and participate in traditional sports and games.

They will be entertained by performers including MC Brian Daly, magician extraordinaire who can tickle the funny bones of every age, and musicians, dancers and performers. They can avail of the opportunity to engage with organisations providing services for families from advice to family-friendly holidays, and chat with those working towards equality for all families in Ireland. Tasty food from around the world will be on sale or families can bring their own picnics. The Family Day Festival aims to provide a brilliant, packed day out with a great variety of fun activities accessible to all without the need to spend any money.

Karen Kiernan, Director of One Family, commented: “Although our Constitution still does not acknowledge the reality of the diversity of families and this must change, this is a landmark time with the new Children and Family Relationships Bill intending to provide legal clarity on parental rights in diverse family forms, and Better Outcomes: Brighter Futures, the National Policy Framework for Children and Young People 2014-2020 published this week. The Family Day Festival creates a chance to celebrate all families while having a lot of fun. Everyone around the country can enjoy it with their family members and friends and wish everyone a Happy Family Day!” 

Those who cannot attend the festivities in the Iveagh Gardens are encouraged to host their own Family Day event which can be included on the Family Day site by emailing details to familyday@onefamily.ie.

The Family Day Festival is supported by the Community Foundation of Ireland, the Office of Public Works and Dublin City Council.

Further information is available on www.familyday.ie where the full programme of events will soon be available.

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families, providing services to people parenting alone, sharing parenting and going through family transitions. Its policy work is rooted in its extensive family support work over the past four decades. Children are at the centre of this work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 622 212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Listings

Family Day Festival | A celebration of the diversity of the family with free entertainment, games, workshops and fun for all ages | Sunday, 18 May 2014 | Iveagh Gardens, Dublin 2 | 11am – 5 pm | Free | 01 662 9212 | www.familyday.ie

For Images or Further Information

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications, One Family | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511 | e: schance@onefamily.ie

 

School Holidays

10 Ways to Make the Most of School Breaks

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School's outFor some parents the school holiday is a respite time with a more relaxed routine. However, it can be a nightmare for others for many reasons such as not being able to take time off work, lack of childcare options and tight budgets, and so requires a lot of planning and management. As parents we learn quickly that when raising children it is important to develop as many resources as we possibly can. As part of our ’10 Ways to …’ series of weekly parenting tips, and in celebration of mid-term break, here are our tips on how to make school breaks enjoyable for all members of the family so you won’t hear the infamous “I’m bored” – hopefully!

10 Ways to Make the Most of School Breaks

  1. Time off: If you work outside of the home, plan your leave in advance for school holidays. Get the list of days off from the school at the start of each term and use this to plan your time off. If this is not possible, try to finish early over a few days during the mid-term.
  2. Plans: Make plans with children prior to school breaks. Making plans in advance for the days off will ensure that children are clear about what will happen. They will cooperate more if they are involved in making the plans.
  3. Family: Engage the support of family as much as possible at school breaks. If you share parenting with your child’s other parent, agree a system for the school holidays in advance. Grandparents and other family members can love having the chance to have some extra quality time with the children, maybe even a sleepover. Make sure to involve children in any plans and give them the information they need in advance.
  4. Friends: Make plans with other parents for play dates. Maybe you can set up a shared rota?
  5. Fun: Even if you have to work, try to have fun with children during the break. Fun doesn’t have to mean expense. Activities such as cooking, arts and crafts or having a picnic at home are really enjoyable things to do in the comfort of your own home. Plan fun activities out such as going to the park, feeding the ducks, a walk on the beach or going swimming.
  6. Library: Libraries often hold events for children on school breaks and are also a great source of information about what is taking place locally, such as nature walks or music workshops.
  7. Clear Out: Children can really enjoy helping at home. Take the school break as an opportunity to do a spring clean. Get the children involved in planning what needs to be done, make a colourful chart together. Maybe they can clear out their wardrobes and bring some clothes, toys or books to the charity shops. You may find hidden treasures as you go along, to have a dress up day when you finish!
  8. Socialise: Take school breaks as an opportunity to meet other families. There are lots of websites supporting families to meet up and do activities together. If you are feeling isolated, check out the One Family Social Group for starters. It provides a supportive environment for parents to enjoy a day out with other parents in similar circumstances, and is great fun for the children. Email us or call us if you’d like more information.
  9. Routine: It’s important to try to keep the bed time and meal time routines in place while children are on short school breaks. This will ensure that they will not get over tired, and as they are still in their routine when school begins again, the transition will be easier for everyone.
  10. Enjoy: Most of all, enjoy the break from homework as this allows time for other things in the evenings – don’t dread the school breaks.

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is compiled by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Effective Toilet Training, 10 Ways to Positively Maintaining Contact and 10 Ways to Sensitive Introduction of a Step Parent.

Remember, if you need a friendly ‘listening ear’, our askonefamily lo-call helpline is available on 1890 662 212.

Better Outcomes Brighter Futures

National Policy Framework for Children and Young People Published Today

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One Family strongly welcomes the publication of Better Outcomes: Brighter Futures – the National Policy Framework for Children and Young People 2014-2020 which was launched today by the Minister for Children and Youth Affairs, Frances Fitzgerald TD, in Dublin Castle and attended by our CEO Karen Kiernan. Better Outcomes: Brighter Futures aims to get 70,000 children in Ireland out of poverty by 2020.

Speaking at the launch, Minister Fitzgerald said: “The purpose of this framework is to coordinate policy across departments to achieve the best for children.” Commitment 4.4 of the Framework is to: Reform the One-Parent Family Payment Scheme so that lone parents have access to a range of supports and services designed to provide them with pathways to work while acknowledging their caring responsibilities.

Commitments

While both of these positive expressions are also welcome, it is disappointing to note that responsibility for Commitment 4.4 seems allocated only to the Department of Social Protection (DSP). One Family has been calling for cross-departmental collaboration in relation to the daily realities that affect lone parents and their children as part of our 10 Solutions Campaign with our Solution 9 being Joined-up Delivery. You can learn more about 10 Solutions here.

The overarching focus of the Framework is to commit Government Departments to working together in achieving five outcomes for children and young people aged 0-24.

These five outcomes are that children and young people:

  •  Are active and healthy, with positive physical and mental well being,
  •  Are achieving their full potential in all areas of learning and development,
  •  Are safe and protected from harm,
  •  Have economic security and opportunity,
  •  Are connected, respected and contributing to their world.

Childhood obesity and food poverty are two key areas highlighted, as are child protection and welfare and easier access for young people to mental health services. The Framework also aims to reduce the harm often caused to children by court proceedings. Following closely on the recent launch of our Key Learnings and the Evaluation of the pilot Child Contact Centres we ran for over two years, this too is something we very much welcome.

People in lone parent households tend to have the lowest disposable income out of all households in the state (EU-SILC 2010) and those living in lone parent households continue to experience the highest rates of deprivation with almost 69% of individuals from these households experiencing one or more forms of deprivation (EU-SILC 2010).

One Family positively welcomes the Framework for its potential to effect real change for children and young people as we continue to work towards an end to poverty for all children in Ireland.

Better Outcomes: Brighter Futures – the National Policy Framework for Children and Young People 2014-2020 is available to download/read on the DCYA site here.

Parents arguing

10 Ways to Successful Shared Parenting

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For many parents sharing parenting after separation, one parent is the ‘primary carer’ and the other spends their time with their child at weekends and holidays. As part of our ’10 Ways to …’ series of weekly parenting tips, here are our suggestions on minimising stress and helping both parents to focus on keeping the child at the centre of parenting.

10 Ways to Successful Shared Parenting

  1. You will always be parents: no matter what happened in the adult relationship you will both still be the parents of your child. Allow each other to parent.
  2. Move on: get support to deal with what happened in the adult relationship and move on to a relationship which is focused on parenting your children.
  3. Communicate: it is not possible for you both to parent unless you work out how to both feel safe in communicating with each other.
  4. Parenting Agreement: work with professionals (such as our trained staff at One Family or other professional organisations) and get support to develop a parenting agreement.
  5. Respect: respect each other as parents of your child. Talk positively about the other parent to your child.
  6. Support your child: listen to your child, support them to have a relationship with both parents. They have a right to safe contact with both parents.
  7. Talk: allow your child to talk about how they feel. What is life like for them? Just listen and acknowledge what they are saying and how they are feeling
  8. Involve family: with very young children it is hard to let them go on contact visits. Try to have friends and family support you both until you feel confident the parent can manage. They may just need experience.
  9. Conflict: do not get into arguments in front of your child. Don’t talk about maintenance or other issues at handover times. Plan a time to talk when the child is not present and the impact will not affect your parenting later that day.
  10. Keep your child at the centre: it’s your child’s contact not yours. Support them to have it and to own it. Seek professional support to help with your feelings and anxieties over contact.

In cases where there is addiction, domestic violence or other similar challenges, please seek professional support before engaging in contact.

One Family offers a course to help people sharing parenting which you can find out about here. Yesterday we wrote about Coping with the End of a Relationship. You can also find additional One Family supports here or call our askonefamily helpline on lo-call 1890 662 212.

This episode of ’10 Ways to …’ was compiled by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Enjoy School Breaks and 10 Ways to Effective Toilet Training.