Difficult Behaviour

10 ways to Handle Difficult Behaviour – Part Two

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Difficult Behaviour Consistency is vital to teaching your children that all behaviour breeds a reaction and whether that reaction is good or bad depends on how they choose to act. Enabling them to make good choices by being consistent in your reaction is a powerful tool in handling difficult behaviour.

  1. Consistency is one of the most important factors in successful parenting.
  2. A child who knows that their parent always follows through on what they say is more likely to choose a positive behavior.
  3. Making better choices makes a child’s life easier and supports him/her in developing responsibility.
  4. Inconsistency can cause children to feel unimportant, insecure and confused.
  5. Routines offer predictability and stability for children.
  6. It is impossible to change all behaviours at once.
  7. Focus on one behaviour, either positive or negative, that you would like to change.
  8. Children’s behaviour will not change overnight. Be patient with yourself and with your child.
  9. Remember that if you have changed your behaviour from being someone who didn’t follow through to being a parent who means what they say then it will take your child time to react to this change and bring about change in their own behaviour.
  10. Sometimes children will respond well and quickly to change, and then gradually drift back to old ways. Do not despair, this is normal. Remain firm, calm and consistent until the new behaviour becomes the norm.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming up Next Week: 10 ways to Help your Children Express Their Emotions and the Importance of Play.

LIVE Facebook Q&A on this topic with Geraldine, 23 February from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your questions.

Next you might like to read: 10 Reasons Why Children Misbehave and The Power of Positive Attention

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Dad and child's hands

One-Parent Family Payment Presentation to Joint Oireachtas Committee on Education and Social Protection

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Press Release

Get It Right for One-Parent Families

One Family Presents to Joint Oireachtas Committee on Education and Social Protection on Impacts of One-Parent Family Payment Changes

– Policy Changes will lead to Increased Poverty

(Dublin, Wednesday 18 February 2015) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating – today calls on the Joint Oireachtas Committee on Education and Social Protection to petition the Táiniste and the Department of Social Protection to Get it Right (#GetItRightDSP) for one-parent families.

One Family is invited to present to the Committee today and will stress the reality of the impacts of changes to the One-Parent Family Payment (OFP) which will hit one-parent families this year. Almost 39,000 OFP recipients are being moved to the Job Seekers Transition Allowance (JST)on 2 July.

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes, explains: “This is a result of the decision announced in Budget 2012 to restrict eligibility for the OFP to people parenting alone whose youngest child is aged seven or under. However, the supports that should accompany this policy implementation to ensure its success– particuarly the promised accessible, affordable, quality childcare – have not been delivered, while one-parent families continue to suffer the highest rates of poverty and deprivation of any family type in Ireland.”

Stuart continues: “Over 29% of one-parent families are at risk of poverty and 63% of all one-parent households experience deprivation; this is despite the fact that 53% of lone parents are currently in the labour market. We are hearing from many of these working lone parents, who already finely balance household budgets on a knife-edge, that it will no longer be feasible for them to remain in their part-time jobs. These changes will lead to even greater and deeper poverty for one-parent families.”

One Family calls for an integrated and SMART action plan to help ease confusion and stress for those parents who will be moved from OFP to JST in July, and for the creation of a simple customer charter by the Department of Social Protection where claimants are given clear, sensible and correct information.  The Department needs to take responsibility for the impact its policies will have on families who are in need of service from it and other Departments as these changes take effect.

Stuart further comments, “It is absolutely clear that there is growing inequality in  Ireland,  that tackling it must be a national priority and that fixing the administration of  social welfare and its support services will remove a key trigger for deeper deprivation for those parenting alone. Also, it is clear that no child or parent should be going hungry in Ireland today. Low pay, rising housing and energy  costs are key drivers of family poverty, but the missing piece of the puzzle is that for many lone parents ‘work does not pay’ leaving families increasingly exposed to poverty of opportunity. Ireland needs a whole of public service response not a siloed service that leaves families struggling and parents demotivated.”

Lone parents want to work and they want to create the best possible outcomes for their children. With the right policies, the right time-frame, and the right level of political will, choices can be made to enable those thousands of one-parent families suffering deprivation to grow out of poverty and achieve better futures.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 62 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes |t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

 

 

 

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One Family Welcomes Children & Family Relationships Bill

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Press Release

A Good News Day for Children 

One Family Welcomes Children & Family Relationships Bill

(Dublin, Tuesday 17 February 2015) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and step-parenting today welcomes the passing at Cabinet of the Children & Family Relationships Bill 2015. As an organisation with 42 years of expertise in supporting the real needs of diverse families in Ireland, One Family acknowledges that this Bill is groundbreaking in recognising and supporting the complexity of family arrangements that children live in today.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO explains: “We are strongly welcoming this Bill as for the first time in Irish legislation the reality of the families that children live in is recognised, as it will now be possible for children to have legal relationships with the people who are raising them such as their step-parents, informal foster-parents or the second parent in a same-sex headed family. This is important for their safety and wellbeing and shifts the focus to what children really need. We also welcome the fact that the best interests of the child will be central in family law proceedings; that children will need to be consulted on issues affecting them; and that more unmarried fathers will automatically become guardians of their children.”

One Family has been working with families who use the family law courts for over four decades providing specialist family support services so that separated families who share parenting can do so effectively and without conflict. Based on our expertise of what we know families need during this time of transition, we welcome sections of the Bill dealing with Making Parenting Orders Work including the ability to refer parents to mediation, counselling, and parenting programmes.”

Karen continues: “Whilst the Bill is extremely welcome, it is not perfect and in particular we are seeking assurances that a court welfare system and guardianship register will be introduced in the future. We are also concerned about the costs that might be borne by parents who are involved in family law disputes.”

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About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 62 2212, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Difficult Behaviour

10 Ways to Handle Difficult Behaviour – Part One

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Difficult BehaviourDifficult behaviour can be tough to deal with, especially when you are already under stress. Children act out for many reasons and tantrums are often the result of frustration and misunderstanding. Here are a few tips on how to handle this difficult behaviour and to teach your children the power of positive choices.

  1. Positive parenting requires parents to teach their children how to make good choices and to provide them with the tools to do so.
  2. Using discipline as a tool for teaching promotes self-esteem, responsibility and good choices.
  3. A child who learns that there are consequences for their choices will be in a much better position to negotiate the challenges of adult life than a child who does not know their limits.
  4. It is a common misconception that in order to behave in a loving way a parent must meet a child’s every whim and allow them to express their impulses and desires without limits.
  5.  Strong, but not rigid, boundaries help children to feel safe and secure.
  6. Tantrums are often a sign of the child becoming frustrated with the world, especially if they can’t get a parent to do something that they want.
  7.  Handled well, tantrums should decrease as the child learns to negotiate their environment more effectively.
  8.  A parent’s role is to attempt to manage and organise a child’s environment so as to minimize the causes of tantrums.
  9. When dealing with a tantrum; speak at your child’s level, establish and maintain eye contact and give clear commands.
  10. Tell your children what you would like them to do and why. Be Clear. Be Consistent.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming up next week; 10 Ways to Handle Difficult Behaviour – Part Two.

LIVE Facebook Q&A on this topic with Geraldine, 16 February from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your questions.

Next you might like to read,  10 Ways to make Positive Parenting Changes.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

 

Behavioural Economics and Social Protection Policy

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Adam SmithOne Family Director of Policy & Programmes, Stuart Duffin, writes on the topic of behavioural economics and social protection policy.

Behavioural economics improves the realism of the psychological assumptions underlying economic theory, attempting to reunify psychology and economics in the process, and should lead to better predictions about economic behaviour and better policy prescriptions.

Because economics is the science of how resources are allocated by individuals and by collective institutions like firms and markets, the psychology of individual behaviour should underlie and inform economics, much as archaeology informs anthropology. However, economists routinely – and proudly – use models that are grossly inconsistent with findings from psychology. An alternative approach is behavioural economics, which seeks to use psychology to inform economics while maintaining the emphasis on mathematical structure that distinguishes economics from other social sciences.

Behavioural economics represents a reunification of psychology and economics. Early thinking about economics was shot through with psychological insight. For example, in his Theory of Moral Sentiments, Adam Smith described all the ways in which people care about the interests of others. In his later book, The Wealth of Nations, he suggests that people get dinner “not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker” but “from the regard [of those agents] to their own interest”. The latter passage is one of the most famous in economics, whereas Smith’s earlier book on moral sentiments is ignored. Why?

The answer is that two trends led economics and psychology along different paths this century (although both were trying to make their disciplines more scientific). One trend was that theorists like Samuelson and Debreu worked hard at formalising economics mathematically, with physics as inspiration. Psychologists were also inspired by natural sciences – by experimental traditions rather than mathematical structure. As a result, to an economist, a theory is a body of mathematical tools and theorems. To a psychologist, a theory is a verbal construct or theme that organises experimental regularity.

This divergence in methods and ways of expressing knowledge pushed economics and psychology apart. A second trend kept the fields apart. In the 1940s, economists took up logical positivism with a special twist (called the “F twist” after its advocate, Milton Friedman). Because theories with patently false assumptions can make surprisingly accurate predictions, economic theories that assume that individual agents are highly rational and willful, judge probabilities accurately, and maximise their own wealth, might prove useful even though psychology shows that those assumptions are systematically false. The F twist allowed economists to ignore psychology. Many theorists also thought that relaxing rationality assumptions would inevitably lead to analytical intractability. Lived realities and new thinking have shown cases in which this is wrong.

A behavioural diagnosis and design process would provide a means of identifying and addressing key reasons that social protection policy in Ireland is not performing to expectation; uncover behavioural bottlenecks that are amenable to solution; and identify structural issues. The diagnosis process encourages Government to step back and examine multiple possible explanations for under-performance before embracing a particular theory or solution, thus improving the likelihood of success.