According to The United Nations Rights of the Child, it is the right of the child to have contact with both parents after parental separation; yet many parents see it as their right, as parents, to have contact with their child.

When it comes to contact with children, mums can hold the power from day one: they carry the baby for nine months so straight away they make the very first decisions about the baby. All too easily, fathers can take a back seat in parenting and when a separation occurs they can struggle to assert their position as an involved father. So many separated fathers, whom I work with, want to be hands-on fathers. Men are as capable as women but culturally we are often led to believe they are not.

It is not good for children to see two parents without equal status. If society doesn’t encourage fathers to play an active role in parenting then we are not allowing children the full opportunities they are entitled to: the right to both parents provided it is safe for the child.

We need to separate out poor partners from poor parents: it is a different relationship. Children only have two biological parents; allowing them every opportunity to have a relationship with both parents is important to the positive outcome of their lives. Here we offer ’10 ways’ to support your child through shared parenting:

1. Explore what prevents you from allowing the other parent to have an active parenting role. Is this a genuine concern based upon facts or an opinion you have formed? Does your child feel safe and happy with the other parent? Try to follow their lead. Take small steps to try and build confidence in their ability.
2. Start with small steps changes in contact. Talk with your child about what they would like to happen.
3. Reassure your child that you trust that their other parent loves them and therefore you want both parents to be active in their life.
4. Ask the other parent to do practical things to support parenting rather than only getting involved for the fun parts.
5. Allow them to have opportunities to take children to and from school, to the doctor, the dentist and to after-school activities. Your child only has one life, it does not need to be separated into mum’s time and dad’s time.
6. Share practical information with the other parent about your child’s development and everyday life. Know what stage your child is at. Don’t expect to be told everything, find things out for yourself, ask questions, read up on child development and talk to the school if you are a legal guardian.
7. Pay your maintenance and don’t argue over the cost of raising a child. If you receive maintenance be realistic about what the other parent can afford. If you were parenting in the same home you would do everything you possibly could to ensure your child has what they need. It cannot be any different just because you parent separately.
8. Buy what your child needs and not what you want to buy for your child. It is always lovely to treat children but not when it means they have no winter coat. Talk with the other parent about what the child has and what they need.
9. Ask your family to respect your child’s other parent. They are, and always will be, the parent of your child. Children need to know that family respect their parents. It is not healthy for the extended family to hold prejudice over parents.
10. If you are finding it really difficult to allow your child have a relationship with their other parent, seek professional support to explore the reasons for this. There is obviously a lot of hurt and I am not dismissing this in anyway but if you can move on you will allow your child to have positive experiences.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or on 01 662 9212.

Join the One Family Parenting Group online here

Most parents work really hard all through the school year, keeping track of what children are learning and ensuring homework gets done. But keeping your child’s brain engaged over the summer can be challenging. If you don’t keep them engaged it could take four to six weeks for them to become fully alert when they return to school in September.

The question is, how you do keep them engaged without becoming their summer teacher? Here are tips to keep your child’s brain active all summer:

• Most libraries hold reading challenges over the summer. Encouraging your child to join the reading challenge can be a fun way to have a more diverse range of books in your home. Libraries are usually very good at supporting children and young people to find books that they are interested in and will enjoy.
• Encourage your child to keep a diary from the age of five years old. This can be a great way to support children. Not only are you asking them to write, you are asking them to think about how they feel, to create stories, to reflect on their day and on their relationships. They can share their entries with you or keep it private. It is a lovely gift to introduce to any child. You can get diaries from €1 to €10 depending on how fancy or lockable you want it to be. You never know, you could be creating a novelist, but regardless, their spelling and writing should benefit.
• Get your children to think about adding and subtracting e.g. when buying groceries get them to calculate the shopping bill. Maths does not have to be sums on paper. Help your child to see how we use numbers every day.
• Why not look for some new TV programmes to watch this summer that have more educational value e.g. animal documentaries and quiz programmes. When you start to engage with such programmes as a family it can lead to whole new conversations.
• Enjoy days out. There is so much for children to see and hear, people to meet and culture and diversity to experience. Taking children to historic sites or museums, festivals, religious sites or even on nature walks can help them to relate to information they learn in their school books.
• Finally, just take time to play and engage with your children − usually we are so busy it can be hard to find time to just sit and talk. Get to know your child. Help them to get to know you. How many of us really know our parents. Play, have fun, laugh, and share what life has to offer and you will have covered the full curriculum this summer and prepared your child well for next term.

This article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or on 01 662 9212.

 Thanks to more clients – Louise, Tracey and Maria – for sharing their experiences of One Family and of parenting alone or sharing parenting – we will be posting more of these stories over the coming weeks, all to mark our 40th anniversary.

We used to be called Cherish and we’d love everyone who has been involved over the years – clients, staff, supporters – to join us for a big celebratory event in Dublin’s Pillar Room on the Thursday 18 Oct. We will be recalling the past, with some of the founder members of Cherish, and looking to the future as One Family.  The seminar will also be interspersed with voices of parents from over the years, audio footage and a short video. There will also be visual displays about the work of the organisation. Places are limited and will be strictly by invite only so if you’d like to come call 01 662 9212 or email  info@onefamily.ie.

For more information see here

1 in 8 people in Ireland live in a one-parent family (Census 2011)

• 567,311 persons out of a general population of 4,588,252.

1 in 4 (25.8%) families with children in Ireland is a one-parent family (Census 2011)

• 215,315 lone parent families out of 834,266 families with children.

• We previously reported 1 in 6 families in Ireland were one-parent families from the 2006 census data; however this was counting couples who had no children. Normative conceptions of family presuppose the presence of children and including couples, whether married or not, in the calculation is potentially misleading. Therefore we have calculated the above 1 in 4 figure using a base of all families with children in Ireland.

Over half a million people live in one-parent families in Ireland (Census 2011)

• 567,311 persons
• 29,031 lone fathers as opposed to 186,284 lone mothers.

13.5 per cent of one-parent families are headed by a father (Census 2011)

 1 in 5 (21.7%) children live in a one-parent family (Census 2011)

• 351,996 children in one-parent families, out of a national total of 1,625,975 children.

Programme for the launch of Monitoring Integration in Dublin City

Co-hosted by The Integration Centre
and the Office for Integration, Community and Enterprise Section, Dublin City Council

One Family is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families. We provide expert support to people parenting alone or sharing parenting and their children through our services, our life-long learning and welfare to work programmes.

We are compiling a panel of tutors/trainers(from across Ireland) to assist us in delivering our FETAC accredited programmes which cover personal and professional development; career planning; employability; communications; work experience; study skills and learning management; positive parenting; family communications; shared parenting and Dad’s workshops.  It is essential that you are able to demonstrate that you are educated to level 7 NFQ or equivalent; are an accredited facilitator (level 6 or above); or can demonstrate tutor and/or teaching proficiency. You must be able to clearly demonstrate the following competences:

Essential:

• Planning and enabling learning
• Principles and practice of assessment
• Equality and diversity
• Understanding  challenges for those parenting alone
• Teaching and learning in the lifelong learning sector.

Desirable:

• Delivering employability skills
• Evaluating learning programmes
• Understanding  motivation
• Understanding  challenges for those parenting alone

If you are interested in tendering and would like to join our panel please complete the form attached asap by Friday, 30 March and return to: Stuart Duffin, One Family, Cherish House, 2 Lower Pembroke Street, Dublin 2 or email sduffin@onefamily.ie. Stuart can also be contacted on 01 662 9212 if you want an informal discussion before submitting. Interviews will take place in the week beginning of 23 April.

Or alternatively you can download an application form

Download here [download]Application for tender[/download]

Return to Stuart Duffin

Email: sduffin@onefamily.ie

Thank you.

Great news – One Family Director Karen Kiernan has been shortlisted for a Women Mean Business Social Entrepreneur of the Year Award, particularly in recognition of One Family’s work on Child Contact Centres and Family Day. The Awards take place on 26 September in Dublin’s Shelbourne Hotel. Good luck Karen!  Here is more information on the Awards http://www.womenmeanbusiness.com/awards/

Jamelia has made a wonderful documentary on Single Mums showing on BBC3, for air times see http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0140p9n. Our Director Karen Kiernan has been speaking about social welfare fraud and lone parents on TV3’s Ireland AM at http://www.tv3.ie/ireland_am.php?video=39558&locID=1.65.74 in response to a very poor article in the Irish Daily Mail on the issue on Tuesday. Finally One Family was mentioned in the Irish Times where advice was being given to a separated woman who wants to get back to work, see more at http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/features/2011/0831/1224303229511.html

For all this information and more follow us on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/OneFamilyIreland

The McCann family

Originally uploaded by One Family Ireland

Congratulations to Sinead Dullaghan who has won the draw for the Family Day 2011 Photo Competition. Here she is with her mother Kathleen and her daughter Rosa at Family Day in Dubln’s Iveagh Gardens. Well done Sinead and a big thank you to EBS who will be sending her out a cheque for €1000. We’d also like to thank everyone who took part in, or showed an interest in, the competition and Family Day itself. By sharing your photos, and by celebrating Family Day with us, you contribute to creating a reflection of Family Day across Ireland – a day for celebrating families, big or small, in all their diversity – so thank you and remember – there’s always next year!

Firebrand Productions and Clinical Psychologist, David Coleman is currently developing a three part series examining bullying in Ireland.

The producers are looking for parents and teenagers who have been affected by bullying to take part in the series. David hopes to spread the message throughout Ireland amongst parents and their children, that they can stand up to bullies and that there are solutions to this very distressing problem.

David will offer counselling and teach practical steps to help pre-teens and teens gain perspective on their experience and find ways to build their self esteem.  David will work with the participants over a six month period to help them move on from this negative period. (more…)

At the launch of One Family’s Strategy 2010-2012 and Annual Report 2010 at Dublin Castle, Breffny Morgan, Star of TV3’s Apprentice, spoke about his own positive experiences being brought up in a one-parent family,  ‘I consider myself the proud product of a single-parent family. My hope is that others raised in similar circumstances can relate to that sense of pride.’ Breffny went on to give a speech to the many grauduates of One Family’s innovative Welfare to Work Programmes, who were receiving the certificates of completion of Fetac and other courses.

Following a HSE report which found that over a third of women describe their pregnancy as a crisis pregnancy, One Family announced a 10% increase in demand for its Welfare to Work services. ‘These Welfare to Work services support lone parents, some of whom have experienced a crisis pregnancy, into sustainable employment, ‘explained Karen Kiernan, Director of One Family, ‘Access to education and careers are vital gateways to move families out of poverty. Our courses show parents what is possible in their lives – and then support them to make the necessary changes to get there.’

Media Release 30 June 2011

Following a HSE report earlier this week which found that over a third of women describe their pregnancy as a crisis pregnancy, One Family, the national organisation for one-parent families, announces a 10% increase in demand for its Welfare to Work services. The announcement is made in its 2010 Annual Report and Strategy, to be launched at The Coach House, Dublin Castle at 12 noon on Friday 1 July.

‘These Welfare to Work services support lone parents, some of whom have experienced a crisis pregnancy, into sustainable employment, ‘explains Karen Kiernan, Director of One Family, ‘Access to education and careers are vital gateways to move families out of poverty. Our courses show parents what is possible in their lives – and then support them to make the necessary changes to get there.’ (more…)

The administrative arrangements for the Back to School Clothing and Footwear Allowance in 2011 are different from the arrangements in previous years. This year most of the process will be automated. This means that you may not need to fill out an application form for the payment. If you qualify you will get a letter from the Department of Social Protection in mid-June telling you how and when the payment will be made. The Department expects that over 80% will get the Allowance automatically.  These payments will issue from the end of June 2011. If you do not qualify automatically you must apply in the normal way (see below). (more…)

Today is UN International Day of the Family, an annual celebration of the diversity of families and family life across the    world. To mark the day One Family and EBS Building Society came together to celebrate Irish families and family diversity by hosting The Family Day picnic in Iveagh Gardens, a free event with entertainment for all the family. Hundreds of families joined the fun for Family Day by either attending the picnic in Iveagh Gardens or by hosting their own event with their family to mark the day. All families who registered for Family Day are still in with a chance to win €1,000 by simply submitting a photograph from their ‘Family Day’ to www.familyday.ie. Pictured enjoying the fun today were Hunzah Alraqi(5) and Shafeeq Alraqui taking part in the wheelbarrow race, Jamie Duffy (2) with Twinkle Toes the owl from Dublin Zoo and Rocio & Belen Gonzalez (3) enjoying the face painters. Thanks to everyone who has helped to make Family Day such a huge success.

Thanks to Bonnie Brady and Brian O’Connell for talking about parenting alone and Family Day and the need for acceptance of family diversity on TV3’s This Morning, starts 24 mins in Weds 11 May.

http://bit.ly/lj1MZJ

And – here’s a good piece with One Family Director Karen Kiernan on Family Day in Metro Herald – page 18/19 http://e-edition.metroherald.ie/2011/05/11/

Hope you are all set for Family Day, Sunday 15 May? There’s a good piece in today’s Herald about it and about family diversity and the need to embrace all types of families. Dont forget to join us from 1pm to 5pm in the Iveagh Gardens, Dublin 2 for a Family Picnic or why not organise your own event and be in with the chance to win €1000*? More information about Family Day 2011 can be found here or to read the article in the Herald, click here

Thanks to everyone who came along to hear Dr Brenda Flanagan’s inspiring talk at One Family. Brenda is one of the US’s premier women writers, and a cultural ambassador, she talked about Accomplishing your Goals as a Single Parent. Everyone was touched, moved and inspired by her story – how she achieved her own success, both as a writer and as a parent, and her secret advice for would-be writers or anyone who needs to juggle life’s demands with their own dreams – get up at 4am! See here for more information.

We are proud to say that One Family Director, Karen Kiernan, is a judge for the 2011 Chambers Ireland Corporate Social Responsibility Awards. These awards aim to recognise the work being carried out by companies in Ireland in helping to improve the lives of their employees and enhance the civic environment in which they operate. If you think that your company or a company you are familiar with should enter, invite them to apply here on or before 12pm, Thursday May 5th

We have just printed One Family Matters – our annual newsletter where we keep you up to date with the latest news affecting one-parent families and what we have been up to at One Family. Please download One Family Matters and pass on to anyone else who might be interested. Thanks!

Apprentice candidate Breffny Morgan wrote an incredibly moving and positive piece about being brought up in a one-parent family – his mum was a lone parent – it was in The Irish Independent – read it here and please spread the news Breffny Morgan on Single Parents

Reminder – a Census of Population will take place in Ireland on April 10 next and everyone who is in Ireland on that night must be included in the census. It is important for us all as a society that everyone is included and that correct information is collected. If you represent a group or community, it is also important that they themselves are included so that full account will be taken of them and their needs when decisions are being made for the future.

For further information and to see the answers to some of the most frequently

asked questions www.census.ie or call the CSO on 01-8951304.