Mediation
Mediation, in the context of relationship breakdown and separation, involves working through the various issues, such as where everyone will live, and when the children will have time with each parent, with a trained mediator. The mediator is neutral, does not take sides, and works to ensure that the views of both parents are heard and that solutions are reached.
Mediation is non-adversarial and therefore less stressful than a court process. It can be better suited to making arrangements for the family, particularly for children and joint parenting.
Mediation ensures that you are involved in the decision-making for your family and come to an agreement about how things will happen. This will inevitably involve compromise on both sides, but agreement is reached at the end of the process.
The alternative to mediation is an adversarial process through solicitors, or a court process. If you end up in court, ultimately a judge decides what happens for you and your family. Court should really be considered only as a last resort, and when all alternatives have failed. There is another option called collaborative law involving decision making by the parties and their solicitors. It is important to find solicitors who are qualified in collaborative law if you choose this option.
How does family mediation work?
The mediation process takes place over a number of sessions. The mediator often meets with each party separately before they meet the parties together. Even where the mediator meets people separately, anything said to the mediator can be brought into the discussion by them. The mediator does not keep secrets for either side. Issues to be dealt with in family mediation can include:
- The family home, including whether one parent will live in it, or whether it must be sold.
- Parenting after separation, including where everyone will live and when each of the parents will have time with the children.
- Financial issues such as how to budget for the new situation and how to provide for the children.
- The division of assets, where they exist.
It is generally recommended that you consult a solicitor prior to mediation to ensure that any agreement you enter into is in your interest, valid, and can be made an order of the court once the agreement is finalised. Once an agreement is mediated, the resulting report can be taken to solicitors to make it a legally binding agreement or an order of the court. There is a free family mediation service funded by the government under the auspices of the Legal Aid Board. There are also private practitioners who are accredited by their professional body and have reached a particular standard of training. The professional body is the Mediators Institute of Ireland. It is important to work with a qualified mediator.
Legal Aid Board Family Mediation Service
The Legal Aid Board offers a free Family Mediation Service in several locations around the country. You will find a list of mediation offices with indicative waiting times here.
To apply, both people must contact the service independently to express their interest in taking part in the process. The name of the other person must be provided so that they can be sure both people have applied, and the mediator is then assigned. There may be a waiting time. Once both people have contacted the service, and the application has been accepted, you will be put on the list for an appointment.
The number of sessions needed will depend on how the process goes, and the particular issues for discussion.
Where there are children to be cared for and provided for, the mediator will try to have the parents focus on what is in the best interest of the child/children.