Whatever the circumstances, parental separation is hard on families and big changes must be made. Keeping their children at the centre of parenting and responding to the thoughts, feelings and questions a child may have, will help parents to help their child.

Research shows that children normally experience one or more of the following reactions to the separation of their parents:

1. Loyalty conflict: Children often get caught in the middle.
2. Does Mum or Dad love someone else?: Although Mum or Dad might not love each other, it is important to reassure the child that they love him/her.
3. I don’t want to come over today: As they get older, children’s interests vary. They may not want to visit a parent and may just want to spend more time with their friends.
4. Fantasies of responsibility and reconciliation:  Children may feel they are responsible for their parents’ separation. They may dream up plans to get their parents to reconcile.
5. Why don’t you love Mum or Dad anymore?: It is not uncommon for children to ponder this question. Often children will blame the parent who they believe initiated the separation and view the other parent as a victim.
6. If you do not come home, I will never speak to you again: The purpose of a statement like this is to make the parent feel guilty so that they will return home.
7. Anger: Children between the ages of 8-16 years can experience intense anger. They can often be most angry with the parent they blame for separation, but they may express anger only towards the parent they view as the ‘safest’, usually the resident parent.
8. What should I tell my friends?: If you want your child to share the situation with others, you must be able to do the same. Encourage your child to be honest about the situation.
9. Why are you separating?: Children are more likely to ask this if they have not been given a clear explanation for the separation.
10. Worry about the future: The child may worry about the future. This is more likely to occur where there is parental conflict around contact and maintenance. Parents need to listen to their child’s worries and talk honestly and openly with them about any concerns.

One Family’s  Family Communications –  Parenting When Separated course starts in May 2019 please see details here.  One Family also offer a range of services to parents sharing parenting or parenting alone after separation. You can find out about them here. If you need support, information or advice, contact our lo-call askonefamilyhelpline on 1890 66 22 12 / support@onefamily.ie.

Press Release

Ireland’s First National Shared Parenting Survey Results Revealed

Over 1,000 separated parents document their positives and challenges

(Dublin, Monday 30^th January 2017) Today One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting, and separating – publishes the results of its Shared Parenting Survey and accompanying policy recommendations at a launch in Dublin’s Mansion House with speakers including Dr Geoffrey Shannon, Special Rapporteur on Child Protection and Child Law Expert; Josepha Madigan TD and Family Law Solicitor; Keith Walsh, Chair of the Law Society of Ireland Family and Child Law Committee, Solicitor and mediator; and Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO. One Family has 45 years experience of working with, and representing, one-parent families and those who share parenting, and devised and conducted the survey in response to a damaging lack of awareness and services experienced by these families.

The survey response was overwhelming with 1,014 women and men who share, or have attempted to share, parenting of their children after separation documenting their sometimes harrowing, yet often positive, personal experiences. The data, gathered in July and August last year, will finally give a voice to these parents and their children, and can inform appropriate policies and services in the future.

Key findings include:

• The majority of respondents whose child does not live with them most of time, spend time with their child on a weekly basis.
• While almost 27% of respondents arranged this time amicably between them, for almost 51% it was agreed with difficulty, through mediation or court ordered.
• 62% of respondents whose child lives with them most or all of the time stated that their child’s other parent contributes financially to their child’s costs; 38% stated that the other parent does not contribute financially.
• Over 50% of respondents stated that they do not make decicions jointly on issues that impact on their child(ren).
• Over 34% of respondents have attended mediation.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, comments: “Our survey highlights the positives and the challenges, and the diversity and range, of shared parenting relationships in Ireland today. It finds that parents overwhelmingly agree that their children must be their central focus, but that conflict between them often impedes this. What helped some was a commitment to the mediation process, where it was available and appropriate.” Karen continues: “Maintenance, accommodation and finances are cited many times as huge obstacles to be overcome, as were domestic violence and the family law courts system.”

Dr Geoffrey Shannon, Child Law Expert comments: “We must ensure that we hear the voices of children appropriately in family law cases as provided for in the Children’s Referendum. This will require investment in the necessary infrastructure to make sure that children who live in shared parenting families have the best possible arrangements in place.”

Keith Walsh, Chair of the Law Society of Ireland Family and Child Law Committee, comments: “Given that the Children & Family Relationships Act 2015 is now in place, bringing modernity to legislation in relation to families, we now need the infrastructure of courts to keep pace. According to One Family’s findings, over 50% of respondents stated that they believed court services needed to be improved and that family supports such as parenting programmes, counselling and mediation would assist them in sharing parenting. We badly need a court welfare system and services available to family court users to improve outcomes for parents and children, improve efficiencies in the court system and reduce repeated court visits. The new family law facility planned for Hammond Lane in Dublin must provide these support services and all stakeholders in the family law system now need to work together to ensure that the best family law system is put in place. One Family has started the dialogue and we all need to plan a better way to solve family law problems.”

Valerie Maher, One Family Policy & Programmes Manager, comments: “Our recommendations stress the urgent need for cohesive and consolidated policy and practice changes across Government Departments that will result in a reduction of child poverty in Ireland. Evidence shows that separation, shared parenting and parenting alone are associated with less income for children, yet subsequent budgets have targeted women and men in these parenting situations, with negative outcomes for children. It is time for policies and services to catch up with the realities for families in Ireland today.”

One Family’s National Shared Parenting Survey: Results & Recommendations report is available to read/download online on www.onefamily.ie and on this link:

National Shared Parenting Survey: Results & Recommendations

One Family extends its sincere gratitude to each of the 1,014 parents who responded to this survey. This report draws directly from their survey responses and directly quotes many of their comments. Their honesty and openness will help to make Ireland a better place to share parenting in the future.

Notes for Editors

• 1 in 4 families with children in Ireland is a one-parent family (Census 2011)
• Almost 1 in 5 children (18.3%) live in a one-parent family (Census 2011)
• There are over 215,000 one-parent families in Ireland today – 25.8% of all families with children (Census 2011)
• 5% of one-parent families are headed by a father (Census 2011)
• Family Relationships and Family Well-Being: A Study of the Families of Nine Year-Olds in Ireland by Tony Fahey, Patricia Keilthy and Ela Polek (2012): Shared Parenting in Lone Parent and Step Families (pg. 24) contains information on shared parenting in Ireland and can be read on www.onefamily.ie/Policy/Campaigns

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and celebrates its 45^th year in 2017. It is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting, or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 66 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Parents who are separated and sharing parenting.

Further Information

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

In 2016, One Family devised and conducted Ireland’s first national Shared Parenting Survey in response to a lack of public debate and narrative around shared parenting in modern Ireland. Over one thousand women and men who share parenting, or who have attempted to, responded.

The results have been analysed, and we are pleased to now publish a report entitled Ireland’s First National Shared Parenting Survey: Results & Recommendations which can be read or downloaded by clicking on the image on the left.

Key findings include:

• The majority of respondents whose child does not live with them most of time, spend time with their child on a weekly basis.
• While almost 27% of respondents arranged this time amicably between them, for almost 51% it was agreed with difficulty, through mediation or court ordered.
• 62% of respondents whose child lives with them most or all of the time stated that their child’s other parent contributes financially to their child’s costs; 38% stated that the other parent does not contribute financially.
• Just over 50% of respondents stated that they do not make decisions jointly on issues that impact on their child(ren).
• Over 34% of respondents have attended mediation.

One Family extends its sincere gratitude to each of the parents who took the time to share their personal experiences. This report draws directly from their survey responses and includes many of their comments. One Family believes that their honesty and openness will help to make Ireland a better place to share parenting in the future.

According to The United Nations Rights of the Child, it is the right of the child to have contact with both parents after parental separation; yet many parents see it as their right, as parents, to have contact with their child.

When it comes to contact with children, mums can hold the power from day one: they carry the baby for nine months so straight away they make the very first decisions about the baby. All too easily, fathers can take a back seat in parenting and when a separation occurs they can struggle to assert their position as an involved father. So many separated fathers, whom I work with, want to be hands-on fathers. Men are as capable as women but culturally we are often led to believe they are not.

It is not good for children to see two parents without equal status. If society doesn’t encourage fathers to play an active role in parenting then we are not allowing children the full opportunities they are entitled to: the right to both parents provided it is safe for the child.

We need to separate out poor partners from poor parents: it is a different relationship. Children only have two biological parents; allowing them every opportunity to have a relationship with both parents is important to the positive outcome of their lives. Here we offer ’10 ways’ to support your child through shared parenting:

1. Explore what prevents you from allowing the other parent to have an active parenting role. Is this a genuine concern based upon facts or an opinion you have formed? Does your child feel safe and happy with the other parent? Try to follow their lead. Take small steps to try and build confidence in their ability.
2. Start with small steps changes in contact. Talk with your child about what they would like to happen.
3. Reassure your child that you trust that their other parent loves them and therefore you want both parents to be active in their life.
4. Ask the other parent to do practical things to support parenting rather than only getting involved for the fun parts.
5. Allow them to have opportunities to take children to and from school, to the doctor, the dentist and to after-school activities. Your child only has one life, it does not need to be separated into mum’s time and dad’s time.
6. Share practical information with the other parent about your child’s development and everyday life. Know what stage your child is at. Don’t expect to be told everything, find things out for yourself, ask questions, read up on child development and talk to the school if you are a legal guardian.
7. Pay your maintenance and don’t argue over the cost of raising a child. If you receive maintenance be realistic about what the other parent can afford. If you were parenting in the same home you would do everything you possibly could to ensure your child has what they need. It cannot be any different just because you parent separately.
8. Buy what your child needs and not what you want to buy for your child. It is always lovely to treat children but not when it means they have no winter coat. Talk with the other parent about what the child has and what they need.
9. Ask your family to respect your child’s other parent. They are, and always will be, the parent of your child. Children need to know that family respect their parents. It is not healthy for the extended family to hold prejudice over parents.
10. If you are finding it really difficult to allow your child have a relationship with their other parent, seek professional support to explore the reasons for this. There is obviously a lot of hurt and I am not dismissing this in anyway but if you can move on you will allow your child to have positive experiences.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or on 01 662 9212.

Join the One Family Parenting Group online here

Press Release

Ireland’s First National Shared Parenting Survey Launched Today

One Family will finally capture the reality for thousands of parents and children in Ireland who are not recognised

(Dublin, Monday 4^th July 2016) Today One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting, and separating – launches the first National Survey on Shared Parenting in Ireland. Founded as Cherish in 1972, One Family has almost 45 years experience of working with and representing one-parent families. Our experience shows that many lone parents share parenting to some extent with their child’s other parent, even though they live separately and are not in a relationship with each other. However, this reality for many thousands of children and parents in Ireland is not recognised or understood meaning that services, polices and laws which could support them are severely lacking.

This initiative aims to capture data on not only the amount of lone parents who share parenting, but the commitments agreed – be they financial, on joint decision making, or on residential or contact time; and how Ireland’s services and polices work or do not work for their family form. The data gathered will finally give a voice to these parents and their children, which can inform appropriate policies and services in the future.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, comments: “Why is this survey needed? Based on the experiences of people who access our services, we believe over 50% and up to 80% of lone parents in Ireland may share parenting, yet the supports they need simply do not exist.  Relationship separation is often a time of great hurt and anger, meaning that establishing a shared parenting agreement which keeps children at the centre of parenting can be immensely challenging. This lack of recognition, including supports around mediation, establishing a shared parenting plan, and Family Law Courts, for example, can pile on additional stress.”

Also today One Family has launched its Annual Review 2015, and a new Strategy for 2016-2018. Calls to its helpline askonefamily increased by another 20% in 2015. The increase was driven largely by governmental reform of the One-Parent Family Payment, with especially negative impacts on parents working part-time who experienced a large income reduction on already tight budgets. Calls related to issues around shared parenting also increased.

Karen continues: “Strategy 2016-2018 outlines One Family’s ongoing commitment to cherish all children and all families. We continue to work towards a society that does not discriminate based on family type, and to call for the broadening of the Constitutional definition of the family to ensure respect and recognition of all the different family types children live in. Attitudinal change in society and at policy level is urgently required if we are to afford equality to all families, and to reduce child poverty rates by 2020 in line with Government commitments. Evidence shows that it is not family form that most impacts on a child’s well-being and future outcomes, but challenges like poverty, and access to education. Capturing information and recognising the realities for many thousands of shared parenting families in Ireland, which our National Survey is designed to achieve, is essential so that proper supports can be put in place to ensure these better outcomes.”

The National Survey on Shared Parenting is anonymous and should take approximately ten minutes to complete. It is available online on this link.

Dani, aged 10, talks about One Family’s Annual Review and the current situation for one-parent families in Ireland in a short video available to view here, which includes Karen Kiernan discussing Strategy 2016-2018 and what is needed to create more positive futures for one-parent families.

Notes for Editors

• 1 in 8 people in Ireland live in a one-parent family (Census 2011)
• 1 in 4 families with children in Ireland is a one-parent family (Census 2011)
• Over half a million people live in one-parent families in Ireland (Census 2011)
• 13.5% of one-parent families are headed by a father (Census 2011)
• Almost 1 in 5 children (18.3%) live in a one-parent family (Census 2011)
• There are over 215,000 one-parent families in Ireland today – 25.8% of all families with children (Census 2011)
• Family Relationships and Family Well-Being: A Study of the Families of Nine Year-Olds in Ireland by Tony Fahey, Patricia Keilthy and Ela Polek (2012): Shared Parenting in Lone Parent and Step Families (pg. 24) contains information on shared parenting in Ireland and can be can be read here.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting, or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 66 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

When relationships break down the greatest challenge is getting past the conflict and moving on. As parents, we must remember that our children always come first. This can be hard to see when you are trying to plan for a big occasion. Many parents need ongoing support to help them to agree on parenting issues.  For big events in your child’s life it can be helpful to engage with a mediator well in advance to help ensure the day and the months leading up to it can run smoothly. Special occasions in a child’s life are often the most dreaded days for people who are sharing parenting. For many young children the excitement is taken away from such events and replaced with the worry of how their parents will get on or reach an agreement. Children may be inclined to say they don’t mind any plans offered to them as they know they will hurt one parent by objecting or agreeing.

As parents, we must remember that our children’s needs come first. It is important that we remind ourselves that we want these events to be a positive memory for our children. How can we make them a positive experience? How do we help our children get truly excited about them? Here are some tips to help you plan and enjoy these special occasions with your child:

1. It is your child’s day, not your day. Ask your child what they would like to do. Be open to hearing what they are saying and then start planning.
2. Children need to feel that it is safe for them to express their opinions. At times they choose to go along with their parent’s wishes as they were met with conflict when expressing their own opinion in the past. It is important that we try to reassure our children that it is safe to be honest with us.
3. Talk with children about the plans; ask if they are happy with them. If not, ask them what they are not happy with and discuss how things can be changed.
4. Ensure the other parent is fully aware of the plan for the day. Try to meet with them several months in advance to share your ideas and reach agreement.
5. Although you may have a new partner, do not displace the role of the biological parent on the day. As many churches have limited space, parents should be first counted for the seat. It is important the step parents and partners respect this.
6. Try to be generous with the other parent as these events last all day. Remember to share the ceremonies, as they only happen once, and then share the day. For some families this will mean a joint event, for others the day will be split.
7. Involve extended family. Having a joint celebration can be great and it is great when parents can set aside their differences to do this. Ensure that all members of the family are told that the day is not about the separation, but about the child. Special days are not the appropriate time to bring up family issues.
8. Ideally both parents will have a part in the preparations. Sometimes one parent seeks the other to pay for the costs involved but they do not want to share the experience. This is not fair. Arranging a day for everyone to go out to buy the gift or the clothes could be a great way to include all parties in the process. Try to trust each other and remain conscious of your child’s needs.
9. At times it will not be possible to involve both parents in the child’s life. Talk with children about this and explain it to be them carefully. Often these are occasions that children start to question their identity, where they came from and why their family is the way it is. Support them to feel pride in their family unit and help them to understand the diversity of families.
10. Enjoy the day. One successful day with your child and the other parent can really give you the confidence to do it again.

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Monday 8 June from 11am-12pm on NEW One Family Parenting Group. Join in and post your question.

Next you might like to read 10 Ways to Successful Shared Parenting

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Are you parenting alone or sharing parenting? Do you want your voice be heard and to be part of something that matters for one-parent families?

One Family is seeking willing participants to engage with our Policy Panel 2015. The Policy Panel will consist of ten-twelve lone parents and/or parents sharing parenting who will collaborate with us throughout 2015 in creating a Manifesto of things that Government needs to change for people parenting alone or sharing parenting and their children so they can create better futures.

Panel members will be encouraged to contribute their own lived experience and personal circumstances in order to enhance and parent proof One Family’s policy papers and budget submission. We welcome expressions of interest from women and men in a variety of circumstance, such as those in education or employment, in receipt of government supports, never married, separated or divorced and living in different areas around the country. The panelists will work with us to develop polices and submissions which reflect the lived reality for one-parent families in Ireland today.

Those interested in taking part should:

• Wish to articulate their opinions and be comfortable discussing personal experiences and opinions, and core budget issues (housing, childcare etc.)
• Currently live in Ireland – we hope to hear from people from both urban and rural areas
• Be able to commit to a minimum of three hours per month (a mixture of phone and online engagement with occasional meetings in Dublin 2) on a volunteer basis

Existing One Family Members are encouraged to participate though it is not not essential for a panelist to be a Member.

If you are interested in being a One Family Policy Panelist in 2015, please complete the Expression of Interest Questionnaire here by 7 January 2015 and we will contact you in the New Year.

Christmas doesn’t have to be a difficult time for parents who do not live together and share parenting of their child. There are, of course, things that will need to be worked out. What is most important is to do this well in advance, agreeing to solutions and a plan. Agree your plan now in November, to help ensure a happy, fun-filled Christmas for all members of the family, centered around your child. Read on for this week’s parenting tips which explore how parents can achieve successful shared parenting over the Christmas season.

1. Start thinking it through and planning now.
2. Plan with your child. Talk with your child about Christmas and explore with them that it lasts for more than one day.
3. Tell them that both you and their other parent love them and enjoy time with them at Christmas. Ask your child how they would like Christmas to look. Talk with them about the options available.
4. Try to hear your child in this. Most parents prefer to have their child with them on Christmas Day, and in many separated families it is not possible. See Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and St Stephen’s Day all as Christmas. You will have to agree if each year one of you has the children with them on the 25^th and the other parent has them on the 24^th or 26^th.
5. Talk with your child’s other parent. Ask them what they hope Christmas will look like and then start to negotiate on contact. Use assertive communication skills. Try not to jump in with a no straight away to what they hope for. Think of your child’s needs and how best you can both meet them. Don’t have these discussions in front of your child.
6. Children love Christmas – if they don’t have parents arguing over them. All the gifts in the world won’t help if your child is distressed or worried. Talk and plan in advance and avoid conflict. Give each other space to think about what the other parent wants, then talk again about your shared plans.
7. Explain to your child what will happen and that you and the other parent will try your best to ensure they have the Christmas they hope for. Make sure your child has the information they need in advance.
8. Children are not going to object to two Christmases. Santa can leave gifts in both homes. Santa knows, of course, that some children have two homes. Families comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes.
9. Talk about buying the gifts early on. Both parents usually want to be involved in this. Can each of you buy your own gifts from your child’s list and agree to give them on the one day or over two days? Often children get too much on the 25^th – maybe they would appreciate receiving the gifts more spread out. Children need to share the excitement with both parents.
10. If you need help to communicate with each other, seek professional support from services such as One Family’s Mediated Parenting Plans or Parent Mentoring services so you can make plans for a Christmas that everyone can look forward to.

Next you might like to read 10 Ways to Successful Shared Parenting.

This article is part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, and is by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly. Coming soon: 10 Ways to Explain an Absent Parent and 10 Ways to Nurture Your Role as a Stepparent.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on shared parenting over Christmas on Monday 10 November from 11am-12pm on One Family’s Facebook page. Join in and post your questions.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and advice on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Every month One Family invites a response to our short, 3 question survey. Our survey for September 2014 was in relation to the proposed water charges due to commence, at the time of writing, in January 2015. The aim of the survey was to find out how those parenting alone or sharing parenting feel about the charges and how they have been implemented to date.

A selection of survey responses include:

“I often skip dinner to ensure my son will have a dinner the next day. I am sick of counting slices of bread or watching in envy when someone gets to buy a newspaper. No idea where I am meant to find the money for another bill.”

“I live in an apartment and I still do not know how much I’ll have to pay. I can’t even budget or anticipate. My daughter spends 2 nights with her dad so don’t know if this will be taken into account or not. What if he was first with sending the pack to Irish Water and he claimed the allowance first?”

“I am a lone parent to 5 year old twin boys, stuck on rent allowance. I have a disability and I’ve recently had my heating cut off because I couldn’t afford the bill and now they want €220 to switch it back on which I can’t afford . Water charges will cripple this household altogether.”

“I am a single father with two young kids living with me nearly 50% of the time. I pay maintenance on top of this. I support them fully for 50% of the time and get no child benefit. The government have already taken a tax credit from me. This is an extra insult to single fathers like me. It is almost as if Fine Gael is deliberately making it too financially difficult for single fathers to co-parent.”

“I will have to reconsider working. I am a lone parent, I earn €450 per week. €110 a week rent, €120 a week childcare, other bills including electricity, broadband, mobile, heating, car expenses etc total €150. I have nothing left over and the water charges are the last straw for me. My job, which I love, may need to take a back seat.”

You can read the full Water Charges survey results here. Take this month’s survey on Reaction to Budget 2015 here, or view all of our monthly survey results.

There was little change in the Budget to address the needs of one-parent and shared parenting families in Ireland. However, the main rates of social welfare payments went unchanged and there was a small increase in Child Benefit rates for 2015. A small bonus for Christmas for recipients of many social welfare payments was also among the Budget 2015 announcements made today. askonefamily, our information service, summarises the key changes relevant to one-parent families below.

Summary of Relevant Budget 2015 Changes

Main social welfare payments rates (including One Parent Family Payment, Jobseeker’s Allowance Transition, Jobseeker’s Allowance, Carer’s Allowance and others)

• The rates of weekly payment will remain the same in 2015

Child Benefit

• Increase of €5 per month, per child, from January 2015 to €135 a month, per child.

Back to School Clothing and Footwear

• This payment is maintained in 2015

NEW***Christmas Bonus

• Recipients of long term social welfare payments will receive a bonus payment of 25% of weekly payment this December 2014. This includes recipients of One Parent Family Payment, Carer’s Allowance, Disability Allowance, long-term Jobseeker’s Allowance, Jobseeker’s Allowance – Transition, Community Employment, Back to Work Allowance, Widow/Widower’s pension, Job Initiative and some others

NEW***Back to Work Family Dividend

• For one-parent families and long term jobseeker families with children who find or return to work, they will be able to retain the Qualified Child Increase of €29.80 per child, per week, for 12 months and then 50% of the rate for a second year. This applies to employment and self-employment.  This Back to Work Family Dividend (BTWFD) will be in addition to eligibility for Family Income Supplement (FIS) and will not affect the level of FIS payment.
•  In order to be eligible for the BTWFD then a person must be coming off their main social welfare payment (One-Parent Family Payment, Jobseeker’s Allowance or Jobseeker’s Allowance – Transition), in full and going into employment or self-employment.   A person who is already in employment and in receipt of One-Parent Family Payment (OFP) and who then increases their hours of employment to the point that they are no longer eligible for OFP because their earnings from work are in excess of €425 a week (gross) or who is no longer entitled to an OFP payment because of the age of their youngest child may then qualify for the BTWFD.  Applications will be open in January 2015.

NEW***Water Subsidy

• For those in receipt of Fuel Allowance then an additional €100 a year will be paid as support towards water services. The Water Support payment will be paid at a rate of €25, four times a year for a total yearly payment of €100.  First payments will be issuing by the end of March 2015. If you have been awarded the Fuel Allowance then you will automatically receive the Water Support payment.

Taxes

• No increase in taxes on petrol or diesel or Motor tax

Income tax

• Increase in the standard rate tax band for a single people from €32,800 to €33,800
• Higher tax rate reduced from 41% to 40%

Universal Social Charge (USC)

• The Universal Social Charge rates have been reduced; the 2% rate drops to 1.5% and the 4% rate drops to 3.5%
• Entry point for paying USC going up from just over €10,000 to just over €12,000 in 2015

If you would like further clarification on any of Budget changes, contact askonefamily on 1890 66 22 12 or by email.

Press Release 

Government Promised to Make Work Pay

But Budget 2015 Will Push More Vulnerable Families Out of Work

www.onefamily.ie

(Dublin, Tuesday 14 October 2014) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone and sharing parenting – today responds to Budget 2015 acknowledging the small increase in the universal child benefit and the partial reinstatement of a Christmas Bonus, yet noting that the failure to commit to retaining the Income Disregard level or provision of affordable accessible childcare prove that Government’s ears are still not fully open to the voices of Ireland’s one-parent and shared parenting families.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO explains: “Enda Kenny said that this Budget would be about building for the future. Yet thousands of one-parent families are denied that opportunity. Research shows that it is poverty, not family structure, that most impacts on outcomes for children. While the child benefit increase of €5 and the partial re-instatement of the Christmas Bonus may be welcomed by some parents, these are not cost-effective measures that will impact on poverty levels in any tangible manner without being tailored to respond to need. 53% of lone parents are in the labour force yet one-parent families remain those statistically most at risk of poverty.  Maintaining the Income Disregard would be an effective step towards making work pay, rather than forcing low and middle income families into the preposterous position of being less well-off when working.”

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, states: “Let’s be absolutely clear. If Government wants to invest money to help working parents, tailored investment in education and not expensive one-size fits all activation measures is a way of doing that. Together, both the NGO sector and the Government could do a lot more at far less cost by improving access to part-time education. Government must recognise the importance of locally tailored services.”

One Family’s 10 Solutions campaign – 10 effective measures that Government could implement at low or no cost – have been partially listened to but not fully addressed meaning that the disastrous legacy of Budget 2012 will continue to entrap one-parent families in poverty.  With over 55,000 more lone parents being moved onto the live register by 2015, with little in place, more children will grow up in poverty.

Karen Kiernan continues: “One-parent families in working poverty and parents sharing parenting of their children have borne the brunt of spending cuts such as the changes to the Single Person Child Carer Tax Credit last year, and the ill-formed re-activation measures flagged in Budget 2012. Government should be doing everything it can to help poor children, not condemning more children to join them. There is no future in that.”

/Ends.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

For many parents sharing parenting after separation, one parent is the ‘primary carer’ and the other ‘non-resident’ or ‘contact’ parent, spends their time with their child at weekends and holidays. It can be challenging for parents in this situation, especially if trust has been broken, to put their feelings about their ex to one side. Remaining focused on the needs of your child is important. In time, a shared parenting relationship can become established where you can both share the positives of being parents.

As part of our ’10 Ways to …’ series of weekly parenting tips, here are our tips for non-resident/contact parents to positively maintain contact to help both parents to focus on keeping their child at the centre of parenting.

1. Once agreed: When you have managed to agree on contact, follow through.
2. Be on time: Timekeeping is crucial. The other parent can and will feel very disrespected if you are late and children can become very anxious and upset.
3. Turn up: This is your time with your child. It may not be exactly what you want but it’s what you have now. Turn up and be with your child. Nothing else should take its place. Rearrange other things – never your child!
4. Maintenance: Try to stick to all court orders and don’t give ammunition to the other parent. Some parents might use maintenance as a bargaining tool.
5. Plan your time: Make contact fun. It doesn’t have to cost much money. Make it child friendly and interact at a very high level with your child. You can rest later.
6. Involve your child: Plan with your child each week. Talk with them and ask them what they would like to do. Follow through.
7. Respect: Always speak well of the other parent even if you don’t feel it. They are your child’s parent and you can impact greatly on their ability to parent and in turn, your child’s well-being.
8. Be back on time: Again, respect the agreement. The resident parent can and will become very distressed even if the child is 5 minutes late.
9. Parent: When with your child be an active parent. Play with them, talk with them and have fun and laugh together.
10. Don’t quiz your child: It’s not your child’s job to keep you informed about the other parent. Talk about school, activities, their likes and dislikes. Talk with them as needed about why you can’t live with them all the time any more. They will seek explanations and want to understand their family form as they grow. No Blame! Children usually love both parents regardless of wrong doings, mind them and enjoy them. Don’t make life hard for them.

If you found this post useful, you might also like to read 10 Ways to Successful Shared Parenting. One Family offers a range of services to parents sharing parenting or parenting alone after separation. You can find out about them here. If you need support, information or advice, contact our lo-call askonefamily helpline on 1890 66 22 12 / support@onefamily.ie.

This week’s ’10 Ways to …’ is adapted by One Family’s Director of Children and Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, from our Family Communications training programme.

Coming soon: 10 Ways to Understand How Your Child May Feel and 10 Ways to Problem Solving.

One Family offers a range of training opportunities for parents and for professionals on an on-going basis. To find out more, click here or call 01 662 9212.

A relationship ending can mean a huge sense of loss, shock and disbelief, and result in anger, fear and stress. There are many practical issues to be sorted out which can seem overwhelming, particularly in a difficult break-up without both persons cooperating. These practical issues need attention and the sooner separating parents begin resolving them, the sooner the family can settle into new routines and arrangements.

5 Ways to Cope with the End of a Relationship

1. Talk to your children about what is happening in the family, once the decision to separate is final. Mums and dads might like to think children are not aware of difficulties between them but they often notice more than you think and it is important to let them know that the separation is not their fault. It is an emotional and uncertain time for all of you. If you can talk to them together it can help your children to understand that you are both available to them at this time, despite what is happening. Share future plans and arrangements with them, if possible.
2. Set aside the issues of your adult relationship when it comes to the relationship that your children have with their other parent – try to remain courteous towards them or if this is too difficult, be neutral as your children love both of you.
3. Find someone you trust to talk to. Get support from a trusted friend or professional – family members can also be supportive in many ways although sometimes may be less impartial, especially when there may be conflict between the couple.  It is important that you have a space to talk about how you are feeling.
4. Consider mediation. This can be a way of negotiating and working out a plan for the future, on everything from money to sharing parenting.  See www.legalaidboard.ie for details of the free Family Mediation Service in many locations around the country.
5. Get legal advice. You do not need to do anything with it but it may help in your decision-making to know where you stand legally and what options may be there, if needed. See FLAC (Free Legal Aid Advice Centres) on www.flac.ie for details of the legal advice centre nearest you.

There is no denying that this is a particularly difficult time but trying to remain optimistic and acknowledging your feelings will help. One Family’s national lo-call askonefamily helpline is available on 1890 662 212 and by email at support@onefamily.ie.

Further information is also available in the askonefamily section of this site.

Let your voice be heard! One Family is seeking willing participants to engage with our Budget 2015 Panel. The Budget Panel will consist of ten lone parents and/or parents sharing parenting who will collaborate with One Family throughout 2014.

Panel members will be encouraged to contribute their own lived experience and personal circumstances in order to enhance and parent proof One Family’s 2015 budget submission. We welcome expressions of interest from parents in a variety of circumstance, such as those in education or employment, in receipt of government supports, never married, separated, divorced etc. Ideally, they will be willing to engage with media and training will be provided. The panelists will work with us to produce a budget submission which reflects the lived reality for lone parents in Ireland.

Persons interested in taking part should:

• Wish to articulate their opinions and be comfortable discussing core budget issues (housing, childcare etc.)
• Currently live in Ireland – we hope to hear from people from both urban and rural areas
• Be able to commit to a minimum of three hours per month (a mixture of phone and online engagement with occasional meetings) on a volunteer basis

Existing One Family Members are encouraged to participate though it is not not essential for a panelist to be a Member.

If you are interested in being a One Family Budget 2015 Panelist, please click here to email Valerie Maher for further information by midday on Friday 24^th January 2014.

UPDATE: 31st January 2014 – The Budget Panel is now filled and we look forward to collaborating with its members throughout the year.

Press Release

Attack on Parents Sharing Parenting After Separation

 is Unjust, Unfair and Underhand

(Dublin, Thursday 17 October 2013) One Family, Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families, is deeply concerned by the removal of the One Parent Family tax credit and tax free allowance announced on Tuesday as part of Budget 2014 which will have disastrous and far-reaching consequences for separated Fathers and Mothers who share parenting of their children.

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy and Programmes at One Family states: “Claimants of the One Parent Family tax credit are working Mums and Dads who are committed, responsible parents participating in a successful arrangement with their child’s other parent for the well-being of their child. This is an in-work support and the kind of mechanism that needs to be in place to deliver Pathways to Work, a cornerstone initiative of the Government’s recovery programme. Ultimately it is children who will be impacted with less money to go round in already hard hit families.”

The One Parent Family tax credit of €1,650 was previously available to both working parents sharing parenting after separation. From 2014, it is being replaced by a Single Person’s Child Carer tax credit of €1,650 which will only be available to the parent in receipt of Child Benefit. As the principle carer is usually the child’s Mother, and she may not be working, these changes mean that in many cases neither parent will now meet the specified criteria.  Some parents may be at a loss of over €125 per month as a result of the removal of the one-parent family tax credit and the removal of the one-parent family tax rate.

Duffin continued: “One Family has a received a barrage of calls to the askonefamily helpline, plus emails and Facebook comments from worried parents who are already pushed to their limits. There is a lack of joined up thinking and policy between the Departments of Finance, Social Protection and Children & Youth Affairs as this government is penalising the good practice of shared parenting. One Family is actively calling for clarity and action to ensure that working parents don’t become welfare recipients.”

One Family warns Government that it must address implementation problems, otherwise this is going to create long-term challenges for parents.

Karen Kiernan, CEO of One Family, comments:  “We are calling on Government to reverse this decision and to reinstate the relevant tax credits to ensure that one-parent families who are still coping with the cuts of Budget 2012 are not pushed further into poverty. We are concerned that along with other government measures this will damage the objective of making work pay and more people will end up becoming customers of the Department of Social Protection as many fathers have told us they simply won’t be able to pay as much maintenance as they have been.”

Concerned parents can contact the lo-call askonefamily helpline on 1890 662 9212 and email support@onefamily.ie.

Notes for Editors:

• 1 in 4 families with children in Ireland is a one-parent family
• Over half a million people live in one-parent families in Ireland
• Almost 1 in 5 children (18.3%) live in a one-parent family (Census 2011)
• There are over 215,000 one-parent families in Ireland today (25.8% of all families with children; Census 2011)
• 87,586 of those are currently receiving the One-Parent Family Payment
• Those living in lone parent households continue to experience the highest rates of deprivation with almost 56% of individuals from these households experiencing one or more forms of deprivation (EU-SILC 2011)
• Operational Challenges for Government to be addressed:

1. If the principal carer is not working, can the allowance be claimed by the other parent?
2. If the principal carer is not working and the allowance is claimed by the other parent, what happens when the principal carer returns to work?
3. What about parents who share care 50/50?
4. How will this be managed for parents who are already in dispute with each other following separation?
5. Can clear provisions be made for flexibilities such as splitting the credit between working parents; and making it available to the working parent, usually the Father, who is often classed as ‘secondary carer’.

Available for Interview

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

For Case Studies, Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

One Family has summarised the announcements of Budget 2014 in relation to a number of areas of relevance to people parenting alone or sharing parenting.