May 2015 – One Family

There are often complex reasons behind why a child is bullying. A child who is bullying usually has some unmet needs at home or at school. They may be confused about why they’re behaving the way they are. Some children who bully may be aware of the harm their behaviour is causing but feel powerless to change it, while others may not have any awareness or consideration of how their behaviour affects others. It is nesecessary for a parent/guardian to spend time talking with the child in a calm, open and honest way to get to understand the reasons behind their bullying behaviour. They must be supported also to understand the effects of their actions and that bullying is never acceptable. As part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips, here are 10 ways to support a child who is bullying.

Punishment is not the answer to dealing with a child who is bullying. They need support and encouragement to understand what is happening for them and most often they need change to start within the family and for parents to be honest about how they are parenting.
Ask yourself why your child needs to be a bully. What needs are being met by bullying behaviour? How can these needs to be met in a more positive way?
Is your child a bully in the home or just in school or vice versa? Why might this be the case? Children need space to have their voice heard in the home and to have choices and some level of control over what is happening for them in their family. If a child has no voice in the home, they will often need to find a space where they do. This can lead to them needing to take control in situations where they can. We all have a need for control at some level.
Explore how you are parenting your child. Are they involved in decisions in the home, what is your style of parenting? How assertive are you in having your needs met?
Explore what type of communication takes place in the home and what type of boundaries are set. We all have needs and it is important to explore how people look for needs to be met within your family unit.
Talk with your child if you feel they are bullying. Be open to it, they are doing it for a reason and usually have some unmet needs. Explore with them what is missing for them. How are they feeling about themselves in school and in the home? Help them to understand how bullying is harmful and the effects it can have on others. Be accepting of what they say even though you may not always like it.
Role model for your child. Be respectful of them. Help them have their needs met in an appropriate way. Make requests of them instead of demands.
Use positive attention to support their positive behaviours. There will be many. Try not to focus solely on areas of challenging behaviour. If they have challenges, how are they being created for them?
Support your child to explore how they feel and how they can express anger, resentment, jealousy and other emotions without hurting others.
Get extra support for your child if necessary. Communicate with the school. Play and art therapy can really support a child to find their voice and express what is happening for them in life. Children have stresses and pressures also. Don’t presume that because they are a child, life is great.

Next you might like to read: 10 ways to Improve Your Child’s Self Esteem

This ’10 Ways to’ article is by One Family’s Director of Children & Parenting Services, Geraldine Kelly, as part of our weekly ’10 Ways to’ series of parenting tips. You can read the full series here.

LIVE Facebook Q&A with Geraldine on this topic Monday 1 June from 11am-12pm on NEW One Family Parenting Group. Join in and post your question.

Find out more about our parenting skills programmes and parent supports. For support and information on these or any related topics, call askonefamily on lo-call 1890 66 22 12 or email support@onefamily.ie.

Press Release

Dublin’s Wolfe Tone Square Hosts Free Festival Celebrating Family Diversity

Celebrate your family, celebrate all families.

Family Day Festival | Sunday 17 May 2015 | www.familyday.ie

(Dublin, Friday 8 May 2015) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating – celebrates the wonderful diversity of families in Ireland with its fifth annual Family Day Festival taking place on Sunday 17 May from 11am-5pm. Brimming over with free fun and festivities, family-friendly performances, games, workshops, story-telling and lots more, it takes place this year in the new location of Wolfe Tone Square in the heart of Dublin city centre.

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, comments: “Many people celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and of course these are important, but what’s different about Family Day is that it’s inclusive of all families. One Family has been working for equality for all families in Ireland since 1972. We founded Family Day, inspired by the UN International Day of Families on 15 May annually, so that all families whatever form they take have a day where they can celebrate. Family Day is for all children – whether living in a one-parent family; married family; with unmarried parents; with same sex parents; a foster family; extended family or friends; or any of the myriad family forms in society – so they can know that their family is valued and included.”

This is a landmark year for families in Ireland. With the groundbreaking, though not perfect, Children & Family Relationships Act passed and the upcoming Marriage Equality Referendum, there has been much recent media discussion about what the ‘best’ or ‘right’ kind of family is for children.

Karen responds: “We’ve worked with diverse families for over 40 years and our evidence reflects what reputable research also shows: what matters for children’s outcomes is not the form their family takes, but the quality of relationships they have at home. We created Family Day a decade ago to help raise awareness of how family diversity is a positive thing for society. We still have a lot of work to do as our Constitution does not yet acknowledge this reality, and many of the families we work with are struggling more than ever, especially now with the misguided reform of the One-Parent Family Payment being pushed through. But Family Day is one day we can all get together and have fun. We invite all families to come along to Wolfe Tone Square beside the Jervis Centre in Dublin 1 to join in the festivities, or to get together at home, to celebrate their family and all families on Sunday 17 May.”

One Family gratefully acknowledges Dublin Town and Dublin City Council for their support of Family Day 2015. Full event information is on www.familyday.ie.

TICKETS

This is an un-ticketed, free event.

LISTINGS

/Ends.

About One Family

One Family was founded in 1972 as Cherish and is Ireland’s leading organisation for one-parent families and people sharing parenting or separating, offering support, information and services to all members of all one-parent families, to those sharing parenting, to those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and to professionals working with one-parent families. Children are at the centre of One Family’s work and the organisation helps all the adults in their lives, including mums, dads, grandparents, step-parents, new partners and other siblings, offering a holistic model of specialist family support services. These services include the lo-call askonefamily national helpline on 1890 66 22 12, counselling, and provision of training courses for parents and for professionals. One Family also promotes Family Day and presents the Family Day Festival every May, an annual celebration of the diversity of families in Ireland today (www.familyday.ie). For further information, visit www.onefamily.ie.

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Further Information and Images

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511

Photos released by Paul Sherwood on 07.05.2015.

Today we have sent the document below to all Ministers, TDs and Senators to clearly outline why the current process of One-Parent Family Payment reform is failing and to put forward solutions. This document can be downloaded as a PDF here.

WHY REFORM OF THE ONE-PARENT FAMILY PAYMENT IS NOT WORKING AND ONE FAMILY’S SOLUTIONS

Today there are over 215,000 one-parent families in Ireland – 25.8% of all families with children (Census 2011). Of the 95,000 parents in receipt of the One Parent Family Payment when reform of this payment was first announced in Budget 2012, none have benefitted from the reform and an approximate 10% are worse off financially as a direct result of being activated, all are worse off due to cuts. The calls total to One Family’s askonefamily helpline is approaching an increase of 50% in the past 15 months.

Reform of the One Parent Family Payment (OFP) is being phased in with the stated aim of enabling lone parents to move from social welfare into education and employment. To date almost 15,000 parents have been moved from OFP when their youngest child reached the age of at least 7 years old; with almost another 40,000 parents scheduled to be transitioned to other payments – primarily the newly introduced Job Seeker’s Transitional Allowance (JSTA) or Job Seeker’s Allowance (JSA) – in July 2015. Currently, 65,000 people are in receipt of the One Parent Family Payment.

What are the failures of this reform?

This current system of reform, combined with cuts that were introduced at the same time and the lack of required supports, is failing families. More one-parent families are living in higher levels of poverty. Reform has done little to support lone parents in overcoming systemic barriers, as it has not been appropriately resourced and effectively planned across government. This reform does not address the lived realities and challenges that can be associated with parenting alone.

What is One Family calling for?

What are the solutions?

We are calling for changes in order to address the catastrophic failures that this reform process has created which have resulted in higher levels of poverty, and lower levels of employment and education for one-parent families. The solutions we put forward will make measurable, genuine improvements to the lives of some of the most vulnerable families in Ireland, creating the way for a more productive, inclusive and sustainable workforce and society.

Since 2012, One Family has also promoted our 10 Solutions Campaign; a holistic, low to no cost model of progressive reform that would make government policies more successful and life better for one-parent families. Below we expand on some of the negative impacts of the current reform process and summative solutions.

FAILURES AND SOLUTIONS

Press Release

Stop Catastrophic Cut of One-Parent Family Payment Now

Child and family poverty for one-parent families is increasing under so-called reforms

(Dublin, Monday 4 May 2015) One Family – Ireland’s organisation for people parenting alone, sharing parenting and separating – demands again that Government stop the current reform of the One-Parent Family Payment which is being phased in combined with a series of disastrous cuts and few of the supports required. The reform is failing. This failure means that people who parent alone and their children suffer the highest rates of poverty in Ireland today. Fewer parents are now in the workforce and it is becoming more difficult to access education; exactly the opposite of stated government policy. The reform is currently impacting on 55,000 parents in receipt of the One-Parent Family Payment (OFP) as they are moved to different payments; mainly to the newly introduced Job Seekers Transitional Allowance (JSTA) when their youngest child reaches the age of 7 or to Job Seekers Allowance (JSA).

Karen Kiernan, One Family CEO, responds: “Calls to our askonefamily helpline have increased by almost 50% in the past 15 months. Half of the families in emergency accommodation are one-parent families. We hear from parents who themselves do not eat dinner every day so their children can eat well. Fewer lone parents in receipt of the OFP are working now (36% in 2014 compared to 60% in 2012) and many parents have had to give up their part-time jobs as they no longer meet new eligibility criteria. Work does not pay. This is a failure for one-parent families, and for all of society.”

Karen further responds: “The stated aim of this reform process is to enable OFP recipients to access employment or education and move out of poverty, but this is not happening. The Survey on Income and Living Conditions (SILC) 2013 results show that one-parent family households have the highest deprivation rate at over 63% and the highest consistent poverty rate at 23%. Combined with the cuts which have hit one-parent families since 2011 and without supports such as accessible childcare/out of school care yet in place, the real results of this reform are less lone parents working and more poverty for vulnerable families.”

Stuart Duffin, One Family Director of Policy & Programmes, adds: “A reform process that was meant to lift one-parent families out of poverty is clearly failing. A measure of the success of this process hinges on the engagement of parents with their local social welfare/INTREO offices, which is non-optional and threatens penalties for non-engagement. Yet we consistently hear from parents of the lack of adequate guidance and information available to them, along with some attitudes which they find distressing. Parents are being asked to put their trust in a system that has penalised, judged and targeted them for years; and on top of this, a system which now seems to remove their parenting status when their child reaches 7 years of age. Local office case workers must be named persons with expertise to provide guidance and support, and readily available to parents being moved to JSTA and JSA, if an engagement process is to make a real difference for one-parent families.”

Stuart continues: “Department of Social Protection staff needs to stop thinking of one-parent families as a homogenous group. Parents with degrees have reported being advised to do cookery courses or basic computer skills courses; while those more distant from education cannot access the supports they need to start their learning journey. The reform process is resulting in fewer parents being able to enter or stay in education, or to up-skill. This ‘one size fits all’ approach is doing little to enable parents to progress so that they can create better futures for their families. Government must pause this reform process immediately, review it, and – if it cannot be appropriately resourced so that it can be successful for one-parent families – reverse it completely.”

NOTES FOR EDITORS

Previous cuts that have targeted One-Parent Family Payment recipients since budget 2011 include:

Budget 2013

Back to School Clothing & Footwear Allowance (BTSCFA): Reduced from €250 to €200 for children aged 12+, and from €150 down to €100 for 4-11 year olds.
Cost of Education Allowance (paid with Back to Education Allowance, BTEA) cut completely from €300 down to €0 for all new and existing BTEA recipients.

Budget 2012

BTSCFA, from €305 reduced to €250 for 12+, and from €200 down to €150 for 4-11 yr olds; age eligibility also increased from 2 to 4 year olds in 2012.
Ongoing cuts to OFP include Income Disregard cut from €146.50 down to €90.
The half rate transition payment of OFP was cut for those who were going into work and stopping payment.
OFP recipients lost access to half rate payment for Illness Benefit and Jobseeker’s Benefit, where applicable.
Fuel Allowance was reduced from 32 weeks to 26 weeks.
Cost of Education Allowance (for BTEA recipients) reduced from €500 to €300.
CE Scheme participants, many of whom were lone parents, had their training and materials grant cut from €1,500 to €500; and new CE participants from 2012 could not get ‘double’ payment, just €20 extra allowance.

Budget 2011

Cuts included the main rate of social welfare payments reduced from €196 down to €188.
Child Benefit was reduced by €10 for 1st and 2nd child / €150 to €140; 3rd child / €187 to €167; 4th and subsequent child / reduced to €177.
Christmas Bonus was discontinued (half-rate partial reinstatement for some last year).

/Ends.

About One Family

Available for Interview

Karen Kiernan, CEO | t: 01 662 9212 or 086 850 9191

Stuart Duffin, Director of Policy & Programmes | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 062 2023

Further Information/Scheduling

Shirley Chance, Director of Communications | t: 01 662 9212 or 087 414 8511